Relationship with a cam model

[Just_A_Guy]

It's possible that I missed something, but I was just wondering and would like to ask, out of curiosity, How old are you? How old is she? Does she know that the whole marriage thing is pretty much a whole lot of nonsense? And also

id help manage her.

With her buying me my needs

Why would you want to manage her and need her money?

 

[inertvolcano]

I just had another thought and I feel compelled to say something. I am not making any assumptions about you or the kind of person you are, but it sounds like you have become so entwined with her professional life that you have a great deal of control over it, and her. Please, please do the right thing and help her to maintain as much independence from you as possible, and make sure the finances for her work are in her name completely and she understands everything you have set up and do for her. If things to fall apart, do not leave her twisting in the wind with all this shit you set up and her having no idea how to operate it. It sounds like that's what you're doing and that you're teaching her, but you have a great deal of power in this situation. Do the right thing by her, please. I'm not saying you wouldn't. But, like I said, I felt compelled to say something.

 

[InannahQoH]

It's possible that I missed something, but I was just wondering and would like to ask, out of curiosity, How old are you? How old is she? Does she know that the whole marriage thing is pretty much a whole lot of nonsense? And also


Why would you want to manage her and need her money?

Ahh ok.
I guess she grew up with little schooling available, and no computer access, and no english..
So her managing herself was not possible.. And why she needed to pay a agency 40-50% previoiusly
One of the reasons i flew over.. So we can have computers side by side, so i can get her to learn how to manage everything herself.
Trying to teach her computer things when shes never used a computer, via translated text. is slow and hard.

And as for money..
I do up the pay sheets for her, and break down whats shes earned from each platform, each day.
Add in the fanclubs and video sales, ETC ETC

As for her money to me.... that bit i meant...
I asked her to buy me a 10ft table, and a couple of monitors, so i could just plug my laptop into them when landing.
Asked her to fill the fridge with food im used to eating.
Stock up on drinks, im used to drinking.
Rent a secure hire car for the airport pickup
Snokes
ETC

And atm/now.. i don't even know how to access my money yet.
So now, shes paying for everything house/food related.. And i'll transfer her money to balance that intermittently..
Until i work out how i can safely access my AUS funds., without large fees and large waits.

 

[InannahQoH]

I just had another thought and I feel compelled to say something. I am not making any assumptions about you or the kind of person you are, but it sounds like you have become so entwined with her professional life that you have a great deal of control over it, and her. Please, please do the right thing and help her to maintain as much independence from you as possible, and make sure the finances for her work are in her name completely and she understands everything you have set up and do for her. If things to fall apart, do not leave her twisting in the wind with all this shit you set up and her having no idea how to operate it. It sounds like that's what you're doing and that you're teaching her, but you have a great deal of power in this situation. Do the right thing by her, please. I'm not saying you wouldn't. But, like I said, I felt compelled to say something.

Yes, one of the points of the 3 month visit.
But also remember she has a lot more control of everything in the past year.. Compared to when she was working for a agency with no control over anything..

The last year, i ask her everything before doing it..
Or she tells me what she wants done, Etc
But usually we work together on planning etc etc together.

And yes everything in her name and under her id, with her having the passwords etc..
With guides and docs explaining how each part works.

I opened a locked PHPBB forum for her and filled it with training guides on each topic, ~a year ago
Etc

 

[InannahQoH]

Mind if I ask why you never met in person before for a short trip or stay? Jumping right into living together is a big step.

Australia to Colombia is a long way apart.. $2300 USD flights 4 day transit

But i work online 60+hours a week , and live remote with no offline life
And she works online 50+ hours a week, and lives in a dangerous location where offline life isn't that safe..
So we are both used to being happy camping at home and working online.

So.. me keeping her company for every broadcast for the last 13 months.
+ some 1v1 vid calls intermittently.
And mostly ~16 hours a day on constant texting, and sending phone photos/videos.

***
But yes jumping into living together was a big step.
We both expected to continue our offline relationship.. where it was up to.... sex wise.

But in person / same bed / house etc etc .. its kind of reset the sex side of things back to the "just met" level.

 

[mira_leo]

I would be so weirded out if my partner talked this openly about me in a public forum

 

[InannahQoH]

I would be so weirded out if my partner talked this openly about me in a public forum

Sure, i'll try to thin the answers/replies..
But its also is just alias, behind alias, behind... ETC

 

[InannahQoH]

And have an exit strategy.

I dont think i can at the moment.
Apart from taxi to a hotel and camping at the hotel while changing the flights.. Which isnt very safe to do..

Especially now.. cause i think 19th June is their elections, where the controversial candidate is currently winning.
And the existing government apparently wont like to hand over..
And here governments/political are armed..

So.... now's probably not a good time to go taxiing around to hotels..

 

[inertvolcano]

Yeah I realized that after I made my plans to travel there this weekend. Fingers crossed for both of us I guess.

 

[InannahQoH]

Why would you want to manage her ?

I like managing empires. its my R/L job at the moment.
And i'm bored with 6500+ hours in civ6. hehehe

And i used to own Adult Websites / pornsites / modelling agencies. (ETC before webcams became mainstream)
And owned wholesale and retail computer shops.
And be a professional photographer.

**
And i wanted to setup broadcasting for myself with the Anime girl..
But was struggling with voice conversions to something i was happy with.,

Then...........
ETC ETC

 

[Scottica]

I tip her if/when i feel like it , yes..
Not in the last week with the transit and prep.

But our finances are pretty blurred at the moment.
With her buying me my needs, like 10ft tables, and a fridge full of milk and steak, hire cars, office chairs, ETC..
So we tally up occasionally.

And she tells me off for tipping sometimes..
Cause her goal is to have her room self sufficient / she prefers others tipping.

So yeah, not noticed any difference in her whether i tip, or not.

Where in Colombia are you? I am planning a business trip there, and want to spend time on vacation.

 

[InannahQoH]

Where in Colombia are you? I am planning a business trip there, and want to spend time on vacation.

East Cali
Which google says is the rough side, of the roughest city.
So id recommend anywhere except close to me.
it seems no-one will even deliver anything to here, for these reasons.

But to be honest i got no idea.. i just landed 5? days ago, and im lost in the culture differences.

Doesnt seem to be hot water?
Wheres the toaster?
Wheres the blender?
ETC ETC ETC

 

[Ozzie_]

But to be honest i got no idea.. i just landed 5? days ago, and im lost in the culture differences.

Doesnt seem to be hot water?

I've been told that in many towns / cities (quite varied climates within the country) hot water is not really necessary / common.

Wheres the toaster?
Wheres the blender?
ETC ETC ETC

Also.. "don't flush the toilet paper" I believe.

 

[InannahQoH]

Also.. "don't flush the toilet paper" I believe.

Really ? did you know that? hahahaha
I thought it was just this house, its a country wide thing is it?

Yes i broke the toilet on day 1 or 2
Then i got instructed.

Hahaha

 

[Ozzie_]

Really ? did you know that? hahahaha
I thought it was just this house, its a country wide thing is it?

Yes i broke the toilet on day 2
Then i got instructed.

Hahaha

Yes in most (?) of the country.. even latin america generally I think.

I think it's a combination of poor plumbing (maybe undersized pipes) and also maybe poorly made toilet paper. In Australia toilet paper will effectively dissolve in water after only a few minutes even with minimal agitation. Not so in Colombia, I have read . (sorry I was a plumber in a previous life)

I do not mean to sound negative, but mate, did you research anything about the country of your new lover before travelling? You seem to be in a constant state of surprise.. or are you still just travel-addled?

 

[Just_A_Guy]

And i'm bored

Well, I guess it's safe to say you surely must be a little bored lately, and possibly looking for some new projects, which is quite understandable. And surely one of a kind, as I personally don't know anyone who manages businesses that has ever entertained the idea of managing or micromanaging a Colombian model in a quite dubious neighborhood.

Perhaps it's a thing in the adult business which I can see how is thriving in Colombia and EE, about which I obviously know nothing. So I guess it could be a new venture for you. How old are you, How old is she? And does she know the whole marriage thing means nothing?

 

[InannahQoH]

I do not mean to sound negative, but mate, did you research anything about the country of your new lover before travelling? You seem to be in a constant state of surprise.. or are you still just travel-addled?

I didn't much, no..
And since landing I've not left the house. So..

Will explore the scary,, later.

 

[InannahQoH]

Well, I guess it's safe to say you surely must be a little bored lately, and possibly looking for some new projects, which is quite understandable. And surely one of a kind, as I personally don't know anyone who manages businesses that has ever entertained the idea of managing or micromanaging a Colombian model in a quite dubious neighborhood.

Perhaps it's a thing in the adult business which I can see how is thriving in Colombia and EE, about which I obviously know nothing. So I guess it could be a new venture for you. How old are you, How old is she? And does she know the whole marriage thing means nothing?

I'm old, shes young.
Yes shes aware our fake marriage back in August, is fake..
She knows I'm separated but still technically married, and about half of any assets i use will be owned by my family..

My wife, children, mother, etc all know and accept.
My work is aware (Obviously since its been over a year, and i needed their clearance to relocate and work from Colombia instead of AUS.)
Work didnjt have much choice as it was a ... i'm moving, that ok? if not i'll go look for another income source.
Her family etc is aware, and consent..

GF and Ex wife are connected, in case of emergencies.

Etc
Theres always been full visbiility on everything, since shortly after meeting.

 

[Ozzie_]

I didn't much, no..

But you've been friends for over a year?

No matter, I m not judging, just not how I would do things.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I'm old, shes young.

Wish the best of luck to both of you and your new venture.

 

[InannahQoH]

But you've been friends for over a year?

No matter, I m not judging, just not how I would do things.

Yeah..

Can i blame the covoid lockdowns? .. i used to fly to a different country every 2 weeks for meetings with work, now they are all online.
or.........
Just the,, im at the age i dont give a Fxxx any more. And have adopted a YOLO approach instead of the usual conservative..

 

[InannahQoH]

Wish the best of luck to both of you and your new venture.

Thanks , I'm curious how things will turn out myself. hahaha
I've not been kidnapped by drug-lords yet, at least..


It should be the worst case. (Apart from me returning earlier than expected)

I get.
Free accommodation and cheap living expenses that will easily cover the $2300 USD for planes.
And live and sleep with the beautiful girl/personality And their company...

***
She gets
Switched to independent, instead of (independent, but she still doesn't know how to do anything for herself)
And my company, since he doesn't usually leave the house either, etc.
Sharing living expenses.



And I can handle the 3 months visiting per year… 9 months remote relationship… (Which is the minimum without visa etc etc or other options)

Happy with what should be the bare minimum. And if things become permanent/longer/we add visas/etc then a bonus..
If we separate .. well same as any other relationship, separation happens sometimes ..

 

[inertvolcano]

Unless it's changed recently, you can stay in Colombia for 180 days a year without a visa. You can request a 90 day extension to your 90 day stay, or take the days non-consecutively.

 

[InannahQoH]

Unless it's changed recently, you can stay in Colombia for 180 days a year without a visa. You can request a 90 day extension to your 90 day stay, or take the days non-consecutively.

Yeah the visa is a hassle, and needs lots of documentation translated into english, by someone appointed by the col govt.
Like 6 months of bank records.
And posting in passports to them..
And.. ETC

And the main issue is, I go via USA, which means i currently have a 3 month USA visa to pass by USA on the way there, and back again. ESTA
And extending the USA visa from 3->6 seems impossible too..

Something like that ^^^^

But .. i thought id leave this mountain a month or so, before trying to climb it.

Thanks for the help though

 

[Ozzie_]

Yeah..

Can i blame the covoid lockdowns? .. i used to fly to a different country every 2 weeks for meetings with work, now they are all online.

Can you blame that? Maybe

I more meant that you have been friends for over a year and still seem to know only a little about Colombia and life therein .

When I "discovered" SC and then the loveliness and friendliness of the Latinas there, I started looking almost immediately at Colombia's history, life there and whatever I could find out on the net as a way to expand my horizons and as a way of giving me things to discuss with the girls online. It's how I knew about the toilet paper thing (Not because I was contemplating moving there , I do have a close Colombian model friend, but that is all it is friendship)

But that is me, if an issue or a subject takes my fancy or piques my interest, I will Intensely research as much as I can about it, although that will usually involve many tangents. It is one of the things I love about being alive now, so much information at our fingertips. When I was young I would not have been able to find out anything about Colombia apart from probably a few books in a library, and they would most likely have been outdated.

or.........
Just the,, im at the age i dont give a Fxxx any more. And have adopted a YOLO approach instead of the usual conservative..

I do hope it works out for you and her.

ETA

Does Colombia have a digital nomad type of Visa that you might qualify for? I thought I read something about that, but didn't go into it as, as I said, I am not contemplating a move to there.

 

[Scottica]

East Cali
Which google says is the rough side, of the roughest city.
So id recommend anywhere except close to me.
it seems no-one will even deliver anything to here, for these reasons.

But to be honest i got no idea.. i just landed 5? days ago, and im lost in the culture differences.

Doesnt seem to be hot water?
Wheres the toaster?
Wheres the blender?
ETC ETC ETC

oops...first time living outside of oz? I bet you'll come to live the simplicity of not having to keep track of1001 things. It's why I love living outside of the U.S....well that and better family values, more time together...more time for life. more time for each other. You get the idea. Enjoy.

 

[InannahQoH]

oops...first time living outside of oz? I bet you'll come to live the simplicity of not having to keep track of1001 things. It's why I love living outside of the U.S....well that and better family values, more time together...more time for life. more time for each other. You get the idea. Enjoy.

I work online, Which is why i could move to Colombia and continue the online working.
So still got 100 meetings, appointments and deadlines, etc per day, hehehe

 

[InannahQoH]

And have an exit strategy.

Still haven't worked this out..
At least i worked out my AUS phone can call USA from Colombia for an hour, without too many issues.

But speaking to american airlines for an hour was a bit useless..
They said all planes over the next ~3 weeks were full. And they couldnt check past that.
They couldn't do proper checks with the couple of seats that might be available on a couple of AUS flights / Quantus.
So wouldn't know what flights were available at what prices, ETC..
Maybe call back for another hour, later..
Or maybe try phoning AUS airlines.

So if i ever wanted to change planes and fly early, it doesnt seem simple.

 

[inertvolcano]

Yeah flying is nuts right now. You definitely need to plan a few weeks out. But I just meant have a plan so you're not stranded there. It sounds like you'll be okay.

 

[InannahQoH]

Will update since its been about 5 weeks now.

Still in Colombia, discussed recently with her about, should i change flights and reduce it down to the ~1 month.
Or leave it at the existing 3 months. We decided to leave it at the 3 months, and decided not to discuss the topic of going home early again.

There were a few red flags, that always caused doubts..

1. One of her wallets closed on her, and locked $1800 USD. And she wanted my help to unlock that large amount..
> But the wallet was unlocked, payment received, and nothing changed.

2. Dependence on me for help.
> She needed help because she is useless with computers, and doesn't speak English.
> I don't think she's ever used a computer before, apart from pressing "broadcast" on OBS.
> And the computer was bought new for her broadcasting, she didn't have one before then,
> and it's locked away in the studio room and never used outside of broadcasts for the last 14 months.

> The $1800 unlocked., was spent on a Iphone13 (To replace the barely working broken phone) + Bluetooth Button control + phone studio lights + couple of tripods + etc..
> Since she has phone access now to work from, shes more comfortable managing her own things like social medias / etc.
> And producing her own phone based content

3. Follow on to the help topic..
>She made some videos with her new phone, which went viral with 7 million views. 4m+3m over the last 2 days.
>Which increased her Onlyfans, Twitter and Instagram followers by about 10x on each platform.
>Twitter views up from about 3k a day to 220k a day. Etc
>This new found fame / needing me less now, hasn't made a difference either..
>Topic just swapped to, can you help me get the 7 million viewers from the videos to my Instagram and twitter, then to my onlyfans, and then monetise them there. ETC

4. She wants my income in her room / has been mentioned many times.
> But i have the opposite problem, I want to pay her room occasionally, but she doesn't like it..
> Says she wants to build her audience, not do shows primarily for me. ETC

5. Friend / Relationship ? etc etc
> This is a bit messy.. I guess half the topics could be filed under (Relationship category) , and 1/2 filed under 1/2 way between friend and relationship.

5A. Was my birthday yesterday.
> She snuck out for hours buying coal for the BBQ, Balloons, cake, cake decorations, small fireworks etc etc and did her house up in a birthday theme.
>And invited relatives around for the night.. She hugged for a few photos etc in front of family, so fairly clear shes advised family that we are a couple, and not friends.
>But guess they can work that out too since there's only enough beds for me to sleep with her.

5C. Family etc
>They asked my age for my birthday, No-one seemed to have a problem with that..
>And i got asked by family if i'm staying permanently now, or if i'm just going to come back frequently..
>I jokingly said i cant stay permanently in Colombia as there is only UHT milk here, and no fresh milk..
>Next day, family rock up with fresh milk they got from farms an hours drive away..
>And now parents have drove ~8 hours from another city to come and meet me and say hello, just now.

6. Video fame
>Now's she moving viewers from video views to social media then onlyfans.
>Onlyfans after 2 days is already earning more than she was making from broadcasting. (in video sales / not subscriptions which are free)
>So again, not much help from me needed for broadcasting any more. but its made no difference.
>Except shes starting to talk about stopping the broadcasts soon, and concentrating solo on videos and onlyfans.

7. Management
>Mostly swapped over to her now, but still with joint access to things for when she needs help with anything.
>Not much point me helping manage phone based topics, when i'm a computer expert and i suck at phones (The opposite to her)

ETC ETC

So fairly stable relationship wise..
And probably about 3/4 of the way from friend, to full relationship at the moment..
But then again, only been ~5 weeks with her.. excluding the online relationship..
So, still lots to build on, but the relationship is growing every day.