So I met a girl at work today

[mynameisbob84]

Not every guy wants to fuck every girl and vice versa, but that doesn't preclude those same people being friends, yo.
I also agree with Jup. If you "befriend" a girl solely because you want to slide your dick in and out of her lubed tatas, you're not really a friend to begin with, and thus don't really deserve sympathy when she decides not to fuck you.

 

[Jupiter551]

So no, there is no actual 'friend zone', there's just guys and girls who may or may not want to fuck one another, and guys who pretend to give a shit so they can get sex.

I still disagree with this part because not all guys are pretending to give a shit simply for sex. Some guys would like a chance at a relationship. It's the difference between the douche bags who call themselves "nice guys" looking to score on some chick by pretending to care and the guys who actually like a girl who just isn't in to them... and as I said before that in and of itself is okay. Maybe it happens the other way around sometimes too.

Yes but the whole "it's not fair I'm always in the 'friend zone'" thing implies that somehow the girl owes him sex or a relationship, regardless of whether or not she has romantic feelings or attraction for him.

'Friend zone' is just a modern self-pitying term for an old problem - unrequited love.

 

[Anonymous]

BTW, ladies, if you have that guy friend, that you go crying to when your BF hurts you. Please fuck him. He wants to fuck you. He does, no matter what he says. Do the world a favor and change this friend zone nonsense. He wants to be inside you but is scared that if he makes ANY move that direction, he will be completely cut off.

Just hook up with him one time! PLEASE! That guy is in pain every time you are near him.

Stop telling him "I just really want to meet a nice guy who will care for me and treat me right."

HE IS THAT GUY!! He will fucking worship you. He will treat you like a queen. Better than any man has ever treated you in your entire life. Just get drunk, super hammered, and make a move. He won't stop you I swear. He is super confused as to why you can't see that the "nice guy" you want so desperately is RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU FACE. You are hugging him, crying on his shoulder, calling him "BFF". Its wrong. You're wrong. Stop it.

If you are friends with a guy like this(crying on his shoulder, cuddling all night to feel comfort, sharing stories of promiscuity) STOP IT. You are TORTURING him. You have locked him in the friend zone. Either put out, or leave him alone because you are leading him on, weather you think you are or not is irrelevant.

I read some of your posts now and just think "Oink, oink!" LOL. orc:

Let's take advantage of a crying, brokenhearted female by trying to get some pussy...instead of just being straight up honest with her about how she's allegedly "torturing" us.....

If I ever do end up "torturing" a guy friend by talking about a boyfriend or ex, I sure hope he'd tell me. I don't think I'm really the type to go crying on a guy friend's shoulder about guy problems. If I did that, I'd probably catch myself doing it and then quickly apologize and change the subject. And then later at home, just put on a bunch of Teena Marie songs (since music tends to make things a little better). If I'm mad, I like to listen to The Notorious B.I.G. instead...lol.

 

[Anonymous]

Not every guy wants to fuck every girl and vice versa, but that doesn't preclude those same people being friends, yo.
I also agree with Jup. If you "befriend" a girl solely because you want to slide your dick in and out of her lubed tatas, you're not really a friend to begin with, and thus don't really deserve sympathy when she decides not to fuck you.

WORD. And now I'm changing my ACF settings so that I can just automatically thank every post from you, Jupiter, Nordling, LadyLuna, and JickyJuly. :-D :thumbleft:

 

[mynameisbob84]

Not every guy wants to fuck every girl and vice versa, but that doesn't preclude those same people being friends, yo.
I also agree with Jup. If you "befriend" a girl solely because you want to slide your dick in and out of her lubed tatas, you're not really a friend to begin with, and thus don't really deserve sympathy when she decides not to fuck you.

WORD. And now I'm changing my ACF settings so that I can just automatically thank every post from you, Jupiter, Nordling, LadyLuna, and JickyJuly. :-D :thumbleft:

Sweet :-D

 

[Kunra9]

Dang, totally misunderstood what I posted by everyone.

I'm not saying the guy in the friend zone is ENTITLED to sex. Jesus.

Nobody is entitled to sex. Or owes someone else sex because they're a friend. Two of my best friends on the planet are girls who I have no sexual attraction to at all. But that is not the "friend zone"

Friend zone is when a guy or girl is TOTALLY INTO the other person, and the other person sees them ONLY as a friend. That is the friend zone. It exists.

 

[Nordling]

Dang, totally misunderstood what I posted by everyone.

I'm not saying the guy in the friend zone is ENTITLED to sex. Jesus.

Nobody is entitled to sex. Or owes someone else sex because they're a friend. Two of my best friends on the planet are girls who I have no sexual attraction to at all. But that is not the "friend zone"

Friend zone is when a guy or girl is TOTALLY INTO the other person, and the other person sees them ONLY as a friend. That is the friend zone. It exists.

I don't think you were misinterpreted. The point is, even if you ARE "totally into the other person," you're still entitled to nothing. People have ways of signaling if they are interested in having sex with someone--when those signals aren't present, you may call it the friend zone but really it's just someone not interested in having sex with you but who may consider you a confidante. If that arrangement bugs you, then you should move on--not assume she should have sex with you because you want it.

 

[Jupiter551]

BTW, ladies, if you have that guy friend, that you go crying to when your BF hurts you. Please fuck him. He wants to fuck you. He does, no matter what he says. Do the world a favor and change this friend zone nonsense. He wants to be inside you but is scared that if he makes ANY move that direction, he will be completely cut off.

Just hook up with him one time! PLEASE! That guy is in pain every time you are near him.

It's hard to interpret that in any other way than saying the girl should screw her friend because he really wants it, even if she doesn't. If he'd had some balls at ANY point in the friendship and said he was interested in her, and she'd said yes or no then there would be no ambiguity. Course she might have said no as nicely as she can without trying to hurt his feelings and he's just too dense to get the hint, not sure if she's still obligated to 'put out' at that point or not.

Either put out, or leave him alone because you are leading him on, weather you think you are or not is irrelevant.

Leading him on by being friends with him? Leading him on even if she doesn't THINK so? He's leading HIMSELF on. Reminds me of the rapist excuse "She was asking for it by walking down the street with an ass like that". Obviously we're not talking about rape here but it still unfairly shifts the blame onto the girl who (how dare she?) took it at face value when he asked her what was wrong and said he was her friend.

 

[Kunra9]

Dang, totally misunderstood what I posted by everyone.

I'm not saying the guy in the friend zone is ENTITLED to sex. Jesus.

Nobody is entitled to sex. Or owes someone else sex because they're a friend. Two of my best friends on the planet are girls who I have no sexual attraction to at all. But that is not the "friend zone"

Friend zone is when a guy or girl is TOTALLY INTO the other person, and the other person sees them ONLY as a friend. That is the friend zone. It exists.

I don't think you were misinterpreted. The point is, even if you ARE "totally into the other person," you're still entitled to nothing. People have ways of signaling if they are interested in having sex with someone--when those signals aren't present, you may call it the friend zone but really it's just someone not interested in having sex with you but who may consider you a confidante. If that arrangement bugs you, then you should move on--not assume she should have sex with you because you want it.

You're gonna have to quote where I said "entitled" anywhere in any of my posts. Nothing IS assumed. I'm just saying throw the guy a bone! I never said it is deserved, owed, entitled, or obligated in anyway.

If a guy is in the friend zone, then yes he should move on because it's not going to change. I completely agree.

I think if a girl/guy KNOWS the other person is into them and has no interest likewise. They should Make it 100% clear to the other person that they have no sexual or romantic feelings. Then if the other person sticks around it's on them.

The original post was hilarious when I was drunk. Still kind of is to me. Ah well

 

[Kunra9]

BTW, ladies, if you have that guy friend, that you go crying to when your BF hurts you. Please fuck him. He wants to fuck you. He does, no matter what he says. Do the world a favor and change this friend zone nonsense. He wants to be inside you but is scared that if he makes ANY move that direction, he will be completely cut off.

Just hook up with him one time! PLEASE! That guy is in pain every time you are near him.

It's hard to interpret that in any other way than saying the girl should screw her friend because he really wants it, even if she doesn't. If he'd had some balls at ANY point in the friendship and said he was interested in her, and she'd said yes or no then there would be no ambiguity. Course she might have said no as nicely as she can without trying to hurt his feelings and he's just too dense to get the hint, not sure if she's still obligated to 'put out' at that point or not.

Either put out, or leave him alone because you are leading him on, weather you think you are or not is irrelevant.

Leading him on by being friends with him? Leading him on even if she doesn't THINK so? He's leading HIMSELF on. Reminds me of the rapist excuse "She was asking for it by walking down the street with an ass like that". Obviously we're not talking about rape here but it still unfairly shifts the blame onto the girl who (how dare she?) took it at face value when he asked her what was wrong and said he was her friend.

Ahh ok, fair enough. Quoting it like that does sound bad. My apologies peeps, really wasn't my intent there. It kinda DOES sound like I'm saying you're obligated I guess.

Really not what I meant though. Sorry guys.

Thanks for pointing it out in that way too.

 

[Jupiter551]

I think if a girl/guy KNOWS the other person is into them and has no interest likewise. They should Make it 100% clear to the other person that they have no sexual or romantic feelings. Then if the other person sticks around it's on them.

Heh yeah except 9 times out of 10 the dude will act like he doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and it ends up embarassing her. If he's the one with the feelings he's the one who should put his pride on the line - or just get over it and stop obsessing.

Ahh ok, fair enough. Quoting it like that does sound bad. My apologies peeps, really wasn't my intent there. It kinda DOES sound like I'm saying you're obligated I guess.

Really not what I meant though. Sorry guys.

Thanks for pointing it out in that way too.

Fair enough, sometimes I think we don't even stop to think about what we mean or feel about a thing because it's so drilled into us by society - 'friend zone' is 100% a human psychological invention, along with gender politics, and a bunch of other things that come into play in this argument. Sometimes it really does take someone else pointing something out to us for us to see how society has shaped our viewpoint.

 

[Kunra9]

I think if a girl/guy KNOWS the other person is into them and has no interest likewise. They should Make it 100% clear to the other person that they have no sexual or romantic feelings. Then if the other person sticks around it's on them.

Heh yeah except 9 times out of 10 the dude will act like he doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and it ends up embarassing her. If he's the one with the feelings he's the one who should put his pride on the line - or just get over it and stop obsessing.

Oh yeah for sure. Everybody does that.

Back in the day when I was THAT GUY, a girl would call me out and I would play dumb and she would be a little embarrassed. But it still set me straight ya know? I think it's the right thing to do. (guy or girl)

 

[KayleePond]

Guys: If you are that guy. Get out. It's not going to change. She will never wake up and realize you're "the one". Give it up. Let her go. Stop enabling her. Stop being that comfort. She's an adult, leave her to her own insanity. She will NEVER be into you. The best you can
ever hope for is a night of super super drunk making out. Move on. Have butt sex with her sister-in-law. Whatever. Get away.

There is much I could add to the "Friend Zone" topic, however I think that most of the wonderful folks here have basically summed a lot of it up.

I will directly respond to this part however because I am actually married to my best friend from college who was totally "Friend Zoned". He was also a real friend and not just in it for sex, so that is indeed helpful. We were friends for like 4 years, through two boyfriends. He even let me stay at his family's home while I was on the road with a different boyfriend. I know that you were drunk but you made a LOT of extreme assumptions in your post that just are not true for everyone, or even most people. We've spoken many times about how much our relationship would have absolutely failed if we had attempted to become romantically entangled at any point before we did and now, many years after we first became friends, we are enjoying getting to be married to the person who was there for us.

It's a two way street, btw. I was also a great friend to him and was his shoulder to cry on in many situations. He also told me he had a crush on my roommate (untrue) so that he could talk with me about "the girl he couldn't have". He admits now what a dumb move it was, because though I always thought we'd make a badass couple, I didn't know he was interested since I thought he was pining for my roommate. In my experience, often people will be rather unclear or tight lipped about their feelings. Many people have had friends who just didn't speak up about their desires or made up silly lies that they probably regretted later but couldn't take back. I think there is a "foot in mouth", clamming up, sort of thing that can go on regarding revealing your true feelings in these situations.

I know that Mr. Pond would DEFINITELY say that if I had just "thrown him a bone" and banged him he would have felt hurt and led on. That is very damaging and if you really care about your friendship, I don't think a girl should "pity fuck" anyone who wants more than that. This is of course different on a case by case basis and everyone feels differently.

I think that being direct and straight forward is best for both sides in situations like these.

 

[Kunra9]

Guys: If you are that guy. Get out. It's not going to change. She will never wake up and realize you're "the one". Give it up. Let her go. Stop enabling her. Stop being that comfort. She's an adult, leave her to her own insanity. She will NEVER be into you. The best you can
ever hope for is a night of super super drunk making out. Move on. Have butt sex with her sister-in-law. Whatever. Get away.

There is much I could add to the "Friend Zone" topic, however I think that most of the wonderful folks here have basically summed a lot of it up.

I will directly respond to this part however because I am actually married to my best friend from college who was totally "Friend Zoned". He was also a real friend and not just in it for sex, so that is indeed helpful. We were friends for like 4 years, through two boyfriends. He even let me stay at his family's home while I was on the road with a different boyfriend. I know that you were drunk but you made a LOT of extreme assumptions in your post that just are not true for everyone, or even most people. We've spoken many times about how much our relationship would have absolutely failed if we had attempted to become romantically entangled at any point before we did and now, many years after we first became friends, we are enjoying getting to be married to the person who was there for us.

It's a two way street, btw. I was also a great friend to him and was his shoulder to cry on in many situations. He also told me he had a crush on my roommate (untrue) so that he could talk with me about "the girl he couldn't have". He admits now what a dumb move it was, because though I always thought we'd make a badass couple, I didn't know he was interested since I thought he was pining for my roommate. In my experience, often people will be rather unclear or tight lipped about their feelings. Many people have had friends who just didn't speak up about their desires or made up silly lies that they probably regretted later but couldn't take back. I think there is a "foot in mouth", clamming up, sort of thing that can go on regarding revealing your true feelings in these situations.

I know that Mr. Pond would DEFINITELY say that if I had just "thrown him a bone" and banged him he would have felt hurt and led on. That is very damaging and if you really care about your friendship, I don't think a girl should "pity fuck" anyone who wants more than that. This is of course different on a case by case basis and everyone feels differently.

I think that being direct and straight forward is best for both sides in situations like these.

Don't excuse my post because I was drunk! I posted it, time to own it

But that's a cool story. And ofcourse I understand that these rules don't apply in EVERY situation. But personally I've never met anyone that escaped the dreaded friend zone. It's like that weird prison pit in the latest Batman flick. Getting out of the friend zone is like making that climb and the crazy jump that noone has ever made except in crazy stories from legend lol.

 

[LadyLuna]

Not every guy wants to fuck every girl and vice versa, but that doesn't preclude those same people being friends, yo.
I also agree with Jup. If you "befriend" a girl solely because you want to slide your dick in and out of her lubed tatas, you're not really a friend to begin with, and thus don't really deserve sympathy when she decides not to fuck you.

WORD. And now I'm changing my ACF settings so that I can just automatically thank every post from you, Jupiter, Nordling, LadyLuna, and JickyJuly. :-D :thumbleft:

Aw, thank you. I can't help but wonder if you're actually going to like what I'm about to say though... :/

Kunra:

On the friendzone thing. I think you are somewhat right, in that in certain cases it does exist. I have heard girls use the term. I think chicks who realize that they have put someone who is totally into them into the friendzone and are leading them on, are the type of women I don't get along with and tend to silently wish would go to another planet...

However, I'm very upfront with everything. I explain to my male friends that I am not going to leave my partner. If things change, yes, I let them know, but I also tell them not to get their hopes up because I'm still wanting to work on things. When I first get into a real friendship with a guy, I give him the straight truth- I'm with my partner for the foreseeable future. There may be times when it will look like it's going to be over, but don't trust that, because we do end up working it out, somehow, even when it seems like we can't. So you see, they already know that I'm not going to do anything with them. I then tell them that they can tell me to take my bitching somewhere else if it ever gets too much.

Granted, these are always internet friends who are usually states, sometimes countries, away, so meeting up for sex is a miniscule chance even IF I was single anyway. Back when I had IRL male friends, I didn't have a partner to talk about that way (in college, was a fuck-buddy, but we only got together once a month or so, so there really weren't any fights or problems to bitch about... in high school, no partner at all.)

One last thing. Not every woman has a "friend zone" in the way you're saying. I have never had a male friend who was completely off-limits in my eyes as a potential sexual partner, either online or offline. Except in high school, but there was no such thing as a potential sexual partner for me in high school. I just wasn't interested in sex. If a guy is not partner-worthy, he's not a real friend anyway. Though, he might think he is, he is not the guy I'll go to with my current problems. (I have a tendency to tell anyone and everyone about problems that are over and done with... which makes them think I trust them more than I actually do.) If I'm bitching about my current relationship to a man, he's actually a potential sexual partner in my eyes. I just don't make a move because I'm a one-man-at-a-time woman, and anyone who's close enough to be a friend is well aware of that fact. Shit, half the world probably realizes that, from comments in my chatroom and on this forum...

So, is it leading them on when they've been well-informed that they don't have a chance as long as I'm with partner, and that me and partner have a habit of working out our problems even when things appear hopeless? If they still entertain delusions that maybe one day we'll meet, I actually do cut them out of my life. I can't handle a friendship with someone who doesn't have a clear hold on reality.

 

[Kunra9]

Not every guy wants to fuck every girl and vice versa, but that doesn't preclude those same people being friends, yo.
I also agree with Jup. If you "befriend" a girl solely because you want to slide your dick in and out of her lubed tatas, you're not really a friend to begin with, and thus don't really deserve sympathy when she decides not to fuck you.

WORD. And now I'm changing my ACF settings so that I can just automatically thank every post from you, Jupiter, Nordling, LadyLuna, and JickyJuly. :-D :thumbleft:

Aw, thank you. I can't help but wonder if you're actually going to like what I'm about to say though... :/

Kunra:

On the friendzone thing. I think you are somewhat right, in that in certain cases it does exist. I have heard girls use the term. I think chicks who realize that they have put someone who is totally into them into the friendzone and are leading them on, are the type of women I don't get along with and tend to silently wish would go to another planet...

However, I'm very upfront with everything. I explain to my male friends that I am not going to leave my partner. If things change, yes, I let them know, but I also tell them not to get their hopes up because I'm still wanting to work on things. When I first get into a real friendship with a guy, I give him the straight truth- I'm with my partner for the foreseeable future. There may be times when it will look like it's going to be over, but don't trust that, because we do end up working it out, somehow, even when it seems like we can't. So you see, they already know that I'm not going to do anything with them. I then tell them that they can tell me to take my bitching somewhere else if it ever gets too much.

Granted, these are always internet friends who are usually states, sometimes countries, away, so meeting up for sex is a miniscule chance even IF I was single anyway. Back when I had IRL male friends, I didn't have a partner to talk about that way (in college, was a fuck-buddy, but we only got together once a month or so, so there really weren't any fights or problems to bitch about... in high school, no partner at all.)

One last thing. Not every woman has a "friend zone" in the way you're saying. I have never had a male friend who was completely off-limits in my eyes as a potential sexual partner, either online or offline. Except in high school, but there was no such thing as a potential sexual partner for me in high school. I just wasn't interested in sex. If a guy is not partner-worthy, he's not a real friend anyway. Though, he might think he is, he is not the guy I'll go to with my current problems. (I have a tendency to tell anyone and everyone about problems that are over and done with... which makes them think I trust them more than I actually do.) If I'm bitching about my current relationship to a man, he's actually a potential sexual partner in my eyes. I just don't make a move because I'm a one-man-at-a-time woman, and anyone who's close enough to be a friend is well aware of that fact. Shit, half the world probably realizes that, from comments in my chatroom and on this forum...

So, is it leading them on when they've been well-informed that they don't have a chance as long as I'm with partner, and that me and partner have a habit of working out our problems even when things appear hopeless? If they still entertain delusions that maybe one day we'll meet, I actually do cut them out of my life. I can't handle a friendship with someone who doesn't have a clear hold on reality.

To me you handle it exactly the right way. Kudos to you.

And yes, my broad sweeping generalizations in the original post that got everyone fired up, don't apply to EVERY PERSON ON THE PLANET by any means

 

[Neudiin]

I thought your post was funny....still think its funny. If others don't....oh well. Do I agree with it, no...did I laugh at it..hell yes. Drunk posting is the best =)

 

[Kunra9]

hah thanks.

Most of the time I set out to entertain myself and don't really care if others find it funny. But usually SOMEONE will find it funny so I know my madness is not solitary.

This time it seemed I truly entertained only myself for a bit. That's when it gets worrisome

 

[Shaun__]

This thread made me stop and think about the friend zone. I have tipped and talked to models I had no sexual attraction to. Does that mean I have led them on and friend zoned them? Was it a bad thing just using them for an ear to fill with my babble?

I know I have several beautiful women who just think of me as a friend, but they have never done anything to lead me on. I do not have many good friends and I would miss them even if they do not want to ever have sex with me. I could never imagine myself giving up on them for not liking me that way. You were never friends with the person if you walk away, because you wanted something you had no claim on.

 

[Jupiter551]

This thread made me stop and think about the friend zone. I have tipped and talked to models I had no sexual attraction to. Does that mean I have led them on and friend zoned them? Was it a bad thing just using them for an ear to fill with my babble?

I know I have several beautiful women who just think of me as a friend, but they have never done anything to lead me on. I do not have many good friends and I would miss them even if they do not want to ever have sex with me. I could never imagine myself giving up on them for not liking me that way. You were never friends with the person if you walk away, because you wanted something you had no claim on.

Yeah the bottom line is you can't control (nor should you) what another person thinks, if you've never knowingly given them cause to be lead on, then it's all in their head. That's THEIR problem.