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Things members say that make you LOL

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Picture a model in a fairly conservative dress:

member1: cant really see your body in that thing
member2: and the inventor of clothes rests peacefully in his grave...
Off topic, but I recently had a conversation about that...

Him: When do you think clothes were invented? What do you think changed that made people feel the moral obligation to cover certain parts of themselves?
Me: I think probably about the time that humans realized that bushes are scratchy and grow as tall as your penis, and sometimes you have to run through them.* So... clothing.
Him: Oh... you're definitely right.

*Not intended as a sexual euphemism. Or any other type of euphemism.
 
Off topic, but I recently had a conversation about that...

Him: When do you think clothes were invented? What do you think changed that made people feel the moral obligation to cover certain parts of themselves?
Me: I think probably about the time that humans realized that bushes are scratchy and grow as tall as your penis, and sometimes you have to run through them.* So... clothing.
Him: Oh... you're definitely right.

*Not intended as a sexual euphemism. Or any other type of euphemism.


What a novel idea, using clothing as protection from your environment. :giggle: And I thought we wore coats in the winter to look cool!
 
someone asked to see my "flapjack". turns out he was referring to my pussy.. i've heard a lot of things but that was a new one for me lol
Yesterday after I had read this, someone asked me in free chat if I like pancakes (which I really do! I make excellent pancakes... and pretty much nothing else I'd let another human eat.) I was so confused. I literally asked if he was talking about the food or if that was a reference to something sexual. Then he was confused. LOL!

Then again, I once heard a friend argue (with no logical explanation) that "grits" = taint when used in the phrase "kiss my grits." I guess if you say it in the right voice, pretty much anything can = genitals.
 
I was have a laugh reading this thread yesterday before work and I had a guest that made me laugh so hard so I thought it'd post it here.

He comes into my room and says "WELL GOD BLESS AMERICA" So I say haha thanks but I'm from Canada.

So he tips me gold for a flash and says "DO IT FOR TIM HORTON"

hahaha made my night
 
"Wow your really cute for a trans girl *insert heart eyes emoji*"
I only cam on MFC.
Where no cam model can have a dick.
Obvious troll is obvious but my mic wasn't working that day so I couldn't tell them I was pansexual actually have a bumper sticker on my car saying "Honk if you love trans girls"
 
"Wow your really cute for a trans girl *insert heart eyes emoji*"
I only cam on MFC.
Where no cam model can have a dick.
Obvious troll is obvious but my mic wasn't working that day so I couldn't tell them I was pansexual actually have a bumper sticker on my car saying "Honk if you love trans girls"

I'd be willing to bet there are probably quite a few trans models on MFC. If they have had their ID's changed to female ones how would MFC even know?
 
I have started to receive random dick pics from two of my snapchat members once or twice even though I have stated I do not wish to receive them. I brought this up the other night on chaturbate to one of my most friendly regulars and he said to go check my snap, since he sent me a dick pic too. I know for a fact he isn't the type to, so I checked immediately and bursted at the seams as he'd sent me a picture of Dick Van Dyke. I know, it's an old joke but it got me so good in the moment and brought me out of the dumps! He continues to send me random "Dicks" now and then.
 
I have started to receive random dick pics from two of my snapchat members once or twice even though I have stated I do not wish to receive them. I brought this up the other night on chaturbate to one of my most friendly regulars and he said to go check my snap, since he sent me a dick pic too. I know for a fact he isn't the type to, so I checked immediately and bursted at the seams as he'd sent me a picture of Dick Van Dyke. I know, it's an old joke but it got me so good in the moment and brought me out of the dumps! He continues to send me random "Dicks" now and then.
I sent a picture of a can of spotted dick pudding to a friend on snap once. I used to see it all the time at the grocery store and deep down I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.
 
I sent a picture of a can of spotted dick pudding to a friend on snap once. I used to see it all the time at the grocery store and deep down I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.
That's marvelous. xD
 
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Typos are funny
I did much the same the other night. A model was in "business attire" with a low cut blouse mostly unbuttoned. Her tip menu had "X tokens for any flash". So I sent a tip note with a request for "a peek at your breasts" (or so I thought). She comes back with, "You want to pee on my boobs?". And I'm like, "NO NO NO, WTF did I just say?!? PEEK PEEK"

I'm not into "water sports"... (well, not that kind anyway).
 
I once had a member type "You look eleven." I took offense and started to scold them a little that stuff like that could get me in trouble on public chat and I'm quite obviously of age at the very least. He went "OH I am SO sorry I meant to type elven cause your ears!"
 
Member: Are you interested into the sushi roll fetish?

Me: what’s that?

He leaves

I’ve searched and I can’t find anything lol
 
Member: Are you interested into the sushi roll fetish?

Me: what’s that?

He leaves

I’ve searched and I can’t find anything lol

I hope it's similar to becoming a blanket burrito.
 
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