When a Camgirl Retires

[StrangeOne]

I’ve lurked on this site unregistered for years, but today I felt like posting about something I’ve been thinking about.


Does anyone else get really down when their favorite model/camgirl/SW retires and disappears from the internet? I’ve been on sites like MFC for over 20 years and have seen so many of my favorites leave. On one hand, I’m happy they’re moving on to the next stage of life and wish them the best. On the other hand… holy fuck, it can feel pretty rough.


I think part of it is that I follow some SWs the same way I follow actors, singers, or artists — except with SWs there’s often a more personal, intimate connection. With other performers, they usually stay in the spotlight for decades, make public appearances, stay active on social media, or have ways for fans to reach out. But with SWs, they can vanish completely. Sometimes they announce it, sometimes they don’t, and you’re left wondering what happened. A few transition into other public roles, like Twitch streaming, but most just… “poof” — they’re gone.


I often think about a model I used to watch on MFC years ago who also used to post here. She was easily my favorite MFC model ever. She completely changed how I saw camming — she didn’t fit the stereotype I had in my head. She was incredibly sweet and respectful to her fans, crazy talented, funny, geeky, and had one of the most infectious smiles I’ve ever seen. She had a real passion for so many things, and it showed. She somehow made something often seen as “naughty” or “taboo” feel warm, wholesome, and welcoming. Her streams were fun, positive, and had such a great atmosphere. I still miss them. Sometimes I think, “Man, it would be cool to send her some fan mail,” just to say thanks. I've tried sending messages before using sites that still exist, but from what I can tell, they've been abandoned.


I like to think she’s living her best life, but her leaving also makes me sad to think about because no one will ever fill her shoes. It’s bittersweet.

 

[stormythunder]

I’ve lurked on this site unregistered for years, but today I felt like posting about something I’ve been thinking about.


Does anyone else get really down when their favorite model/camgirl/SW retires and disappears from the internet? I’ve been on sites like MFC for over 20 years and have seen so many of my favorites leave. On one hand, I’m happy they’re moving on to the next stage of life and wish them the best. On the other hand… holy fuck, it can feel pretty rough.


I think part of it is that I follow some SWs the same way I follow actors, singers, or artists — except with SWs there’s often a more personal, intimate connection. With other performers, they usually stay in the spotlight for decades, make public appearances, stay active on social media, or have ways for fans to reach out. But with SWs, they can vanish completely. Sometimes they announce it, sometimes they don’t, and you’re left wondering what happened. A few transition into other public roles, like Twitch streaming, but most just… “poof” — they’re gone.


I often think about a model I used to watch on MFC years ago who also used to post here. She was easily my favorite MFC model ever. She completely changed how I saw camming — she didn’t fit the stereotype I had in my head. She was incredibly sweet and respectful to her fans, crazy talented, funny, geeky, and had one of the most infectious smiles I’ve ever seen. She had a real passion for so many things, and it showed. She somehow made something often seen as “naughty” or “taboo” feel warm, wholesome, and welcoming. Her streams were fun, positive, and had such a great atmosphere. I still miss them. Sometimes I think, “Man, it would be cool to send her some fan mail,” just to say thanks. I've tried sending messages before using sites that still exist, but from what I can tell, they've been abandoned.


I like to think she’s living her best life, but her leaving also makes me sad to think about because no one will ever fill her shoes. It’s bittersweet.

I wlil be honest, I haven't even been doing this long (almost a year?) and even I sometimes feel nostalgic and wonder how people I've done privates with are doing now. I guess it goes both ways lol. Brains are weird.

 

[Marceline]

I think it totally makes sense to feel a bit down when your favorite model retires. Especially if it’s someone who you would visit online and interact with often.

I’m planning on retiring probably in the next year or two, and I’ve started slowly announcing it and I’ve already had members message me about how they’ll be sad to see me leave.

I can see how it’d be a bit more rough when a model doesn’t announce it and just deletes all her accounts and vanishes, because then you’re left wondering “is she okay?”. I’m about 99% sure I’m going to delete all my clip stores and my MFC account when I do retire, but I’m also going to make a big announcement a month or so before I do, so no one is left wondering “oh shit… did something bad happen?”.

 

[Vixxen81]

I'm always happy they get the chance to retire. Some of us will never get to leave.

 

[MarieElise]

I'm always happy they get the chance to retire. Some of us will never get to leave.

I ain't leaving either. Tbh I don't want to though.

I'm one of those people who would retire, then probably be dead from boredom, purposelessness, and lack of structure within about 3 years afterward. This job provides me with so much release, & freedom of expression in so many different ways. I'd hate to go back to normal life/ 9-5, conforming. It would kill me.

When people leave suddenly, I think it's probably complicated and related to stigma, society, repressed sexual stuff around us. Guilt, fear all those kinds of things. If I did ever leave, which I won't, I could see myself doing the sudden thing. I did it in my last career; it's not ideal, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. Sometimes it's just time to move on, and you have to put yourself first, no one else will.

 

[Hildiesub]

This post just makes me sad. I'm on the far end of the age spectrum around here , having only been caming since I retired from a career job ( Yes, there are people with old-guy fetishes). People just vanishing is a problem that comes with sexual subcultures in general, I'm afraid. I've been active in BDSM communities for, what, 40 years now, and have accepted that people will suddenly vanish from the scene. Usually I learn from friends of friends that they've started a new relationship and made their sexual life private. Often I find that we (the people who remain in the subculture) are nothing more than repressed memories of the person we used to know. I'd say it's the same with adult cam models except even more extreme. People want/need to be anonymous and that makes it easy to just vanish.

On the other hand, there are lots of times that you will run into people you knew from the past and discover they just left for a while and got back into things because they missed it. Your cam girl might show up someday, so keep her in mind. And I agree with @stormythunder that, from a broadcaster's perspective, there are viewers that I will miss when they eventually disappear.

People moving on is just the way it is. In a lot of cases, they don't want their past to find them. This reminds me of one of my favorite jokes on the Naked Gun movie franchise where Leslie Nielsen (Frank) says to Priscilla Presley: "Interesting - almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today". Presley's character becomes shocked and defensive, and replies: " I was young, I needed the work.", only to discover that the photographs were of some recent surveillance.

 

[Smoothie]

I’ve been on cam sites long enough to see several of my former favorite models leave. I 100% respect that they’re gone from camming, but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be excited to see them pop back up. They were each great models. But if they never do, hey… that’s part of life.

As far as wondering if they’re doing well/hoping they’re ok, one piece of advice I remind myself of constantly: Don’t pre-emptively worry about things. Don’t stress unless/until there is a verified reason to stress. I’ve applied that logic to worrying about job security, to traffic, and anything else I’m tempted to worry about without really knowing if it’s a problem yet.

I absolutely hope every former model is doing well, but to wring my hands over it - when there may actually be nothing to fret about - is not healthy for me. So I try to assume the best unless I know otherwise.

 

[StrangeOne]

For me the feeling is almost like when a performer you are a fan of dies; whether it be an actor, singer, athlete, etc. Like, someone unique for whom there is no replacement for. For various cam girls, I think it's just wanting to move on to the next stage of their life, whatever that might be, which involves leaving the past behind. When I was in my teens and early 20s, I naively thought that by the time we got into the 2020s, we'd be living in a much more socially liberal sex-positive society where sex workers would be less taboo. One where people would be comfortable in saying they were a sex worker and not worry about stigma. But yeah, we're not there. Honestly, we're kind of a mess. lol

 

[Slapstick]

Does anyone else get really down when their favorite model/camgirl/SW retires and disappears from the internet?

Absolutely. I've been doing this long enough now that it has happened more times than I care to think about. It is bad enough when the model gives me advance notice that they will stop camming, but the ones that just disappear always leave me worried. One in particular has come and gone a few times; her longest absence was ~six months and she mentioned it was health related. Now she has disappeared again and I can't help but worry. I really hope she has just moved on to bigger and better things, but there is always a nagging doubt.

Almost as bad are the ones that disappear just after I find them. I am pretty vanilla, but also kind of "niche" (skirts and sneakers). I found this one model and I thought we hit it off quite nicely. I was really looking forward to visiting her often... except she hasn't been online again since that one time.

I’m planning on retiring probably in the next year or two, and I’ve started slowly announcing it and I’ve already had members message me about how they’ll be sad to see me leave.

I hope that when you do retire you will still visit us here. I have always appreciated your posts and the kind, considerate advice you give to other models.

 

[LeonF1]

Other side of the coin is that they may well have been looking at you as nothing more than one of several potential marks they were milking just so they could make rent. Thing about internet relationships is that we really only know what we see on the screen, and our minds just fill in the blanks with whatever we want. We could do business and the nature of our exchanges makes us think we've found someone to connect with, meanwhile they're just looking at us as a way to get their bills paid.

It's what keeps me from getting too misty eyed about a model I've been following for a few years who recently quit abruptly. I had a deep respect for what she did and showed appreciation when appropriate, but it was pretty clear, especially in her last few months, that this wasn't the way she wanted to spend her time. I'm not the slightest bit surprised that she moved on - hopefully to something more fulfilling - though the way she just up and left without a final goodbye after all this time paints a pretty clear picture of where her head was at with this kind of work.

 

[MarieElise]

Cam models can be relying on you for money and also be fond of you, those two things can exist at the same time
There's not a single cam model anywhere that doesn't do it for the money. No hot woman wants to get online and talk to horny men for free. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
Any model that tells you they aren't doing it for the money is a fucking liar.
No one is doing it for the fucking joy
Money is ALWAYS a motivating factor. EVERY TIME. IN EVERY INSTANCE.
There are no exceptions to that.

Sounds like you are talking about whether the person actually likes you and respects you, or secretly thinks you're an idiot. People are two faced in every day life too, and pretend to like people they don't, to get things. That's what humans do.

 

[LeonF1]

Obviously the providers are working to get paid. Was just trying to point out that if the foundation of the relationship is transactional, then maybe consumers should manage their expectations and be a bit more careful about where they wear their hearts.

 

[misterical]

Cam models can be relying on you for money and also be fond of you, those two things can exist at the same time

Exactly, and members can also be fond of cam models without harbouring dreams of meeting them, marrying them or (worst of all) "saving" them.

In fact, a lot of the problems that arise between models and members wouldn't arise if members didn't default to thinking it was either a full on, happily ever after love affair or a cold, transactional relationship.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Overall this thread shows mostly really healthy attitudes and it’s refreshing cos so many of the posts here are from posters feeling entitled to info or spinning out over models leaving etc..

This feels like overall just a healthy acknowledgment that it’s ok to feel a bit sad without all the other stuff. it’s nice to read, and just know it goes both ways … i often wonder about guys who have moved on, especially when i knew why/what happened. Sometimes they get married, or one guy was miserable, packed up his whole life and moved to Ireland. Poof! I think he used cams to help cope with loneliness so I always like to think he’s off living an amazing life in Ireland now

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Obviously the providers are working to get paid. Was just trying to point out that if the foundation of the relationship is transactional, then maybe consumers should manage their expectations and be a bit more careful about where they wear their hearts.

I think this thread shows exactly that. Consumers managing expectations and coping with feelings in a pretty healthy way imo

 

[misterical]

I think this thread shows exactly that. Consumers managing expectations and coping with feelings in a pretty healthy way imo

Exactly. Everything is nuanced. Nothing is ever entirely to one extreme or the other. If members and models can show care for each other within healthy boundaries then that is fantastic.

 

[MarieElise]

Obviously the providers are working to get paid. Was just trying to point out that if the foundation of the relationship is transactional, then maybe consumers should manage their expectations and be a bit more careful about where they wear their hearts.

Yeah I was confused by your wording quite a bit.

Other side of the coin is that they may well have been looking at you as nothing more than one of several potential marks they were milking just so they could make rent.

Specifically above. I felt like you were trying to say there is something inherently wrong or bad in that? So I find what you were, and are now saying, confusing.
What else were they supposed to be looking at you as? Maybe there's a language barrier here? Was I supposed to read something in there, that didn't click?

Every relationship is transactional. People interact with each other to get things, sometimes tangible, sometimes not. People volunteer to help out, and feel good about themselves. People get in relationships to feel good, have support, and help with life. There's this trend to present transactional things as negative; everything in life between people is transactional. Otherwise, we wouldn't be motivated to do anything with each other or interact. That's not a bad thing. That's the reality of being human animals.

Anything any of us do is motivated by getting something, tangible or intangible.
Sometimes it's just as simple as some dopamine in our own heads...
Just because money is tangible and material doesn't make it bad.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Yeah I was confused by your wording quite a bit.


Specifically above. I felt like you were trying to say there is something inherently wrong or bad in that? So I find what you were, and are now saying, confusing.
What else were they supposed to be looking at you as? Maybe there's a language barrier here? Was I supposed to read something in there, that didn't click?

Yeah, I definitely don’t like his wording either of “Other side of the coin is that they may well have been looking at you as nothing more than one of several potential marks they were milking just so they could make rent.” It makes him sound a little butthurt.

 

[MarieElise]

Yeah, I definitely don’t like his wording either of “Other side of the coin is that they may well have been looking at you as nothing more than one of several potential marks they were milking just so they could make rent.” It makes him sound a little butthurt.

Thanks, I was so confused, and genuinely thought maybe I misunderstood his use of slang or something.