Help about situation

[anonCamGuy69]

No one can tell you exactly what to say, nor should they (without an intimate knowledge of your conversational history with the model). But personally, I would recommend you go out with a bold, dramatic, intriguing lie.

.02

Thankyou for at least making me smile about it

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Don’t confuse love with lust, they can feel very similar without proper examination.

A long long time ago, when I was at university, I worked as a bartender at several nightclubs. I had regular customers who I would see a couple of times a week, we would chat, share a joke, sometimes I would give them a free drink. I suppose you could say on some level they were my friends (after all what is friendship?) . What I do remember is that I never referred to these guys and girls as “friends”, they were always “one of the regulars”. For sure I thought that some of them were really nice people and I looked forward to seeing them at work, but they were not part of my normal social circle. I did have friends who were my colleagues at work but they were different from our customers. Also I remember that very few of my social circle outside of work would come and visit me at work, to me it just seems a bit strange to be at someone’s place of work if you are not a) a customer or b) a colleague.

I could only imagine that things get even much more complicated with the adult industry.

But just occasionally there is situation when a Cam model is friends with someone.

And I would never confuse love with lust (or desire for tips) where Cam models are concerned

Anyway my problem situation doesn't refer to my friend. My Cam model friend is trying to help me extricate myself from the other situation

 

[AlexaCrush]

I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

This sounds like it might be a little inappropriate given your relationship with her....

You can either ghost her or have an adult conversation about it and get to the bottom of who feels what in this relationship and go from there.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

This sounds like it might be a little inappropriate given your relationship with her....

You can either ghost her or have an adult conversation about it and get to the bottom of who feels what in this relationship and go from there.

Yeah thanks

I know I could do stuff like that. I don't know if I could

But given the situation it would be good to know that I am just a client and nothing more, to make it easier

Either way I think I only have one path and that is to either piss her off or hurt her, neither of which I want

And the crazy thing is if it wasn't for the fact I need to end it I would be on the plane across the world tomorrow to see her. Because whether she cares for me not I love spending time with her, as many hours and minutes as I can. And thats what she wants me to do. To jump on a plane



Thanks

 

[OldHippy]

Thankyou. I know I should. She has my private contact details. I'm just worried about how serious she seems. I'm not the sort of guy who likes break ups even with a situation like this. I just find it hard. But I suspect she is playing the game hard. I guess I just have to risk hurting her if she really is serious

Its a different situation. The friend I have is a Cam girl I met online many years ago. I know her husband and her family anfd her baby. We are friends. I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

I think I understand now...

Sorry for going all Dr Phil on you, but it sounds like you are going to have to man up with this girl. By not being honest with her and dragging this out you are only making things worse if she has feelings for. Really if you keep going like this you are the one "playing the game hard".

Who knows what can happen if two people are actually honest with each other and communicate....

 

[anonCamGuy69]

I think I understand now...

Sorry for going all Dr Phil on you, but it sounds like you are going to have to man up with this girl. By not being honest with her and dragging this out you are only making things worse if she has feelings for. Really if you keep going like this you are the one "playing the game hard".

Who knows what can happen if two people are actually honest with each other and communicate....

Just to clarify - the friend is a different person to the new person in this relationship situation. I mustn't have made it clear because everyone got confused

I agree with what you say but have you ever tried having an honest heart to heart communication across the Internet with someone you met on a Cam site who

a)probably is only interested in your money (thats why she is on the site) and in which case may never be totally honest with you
b) (variant on a) may want a long term commitment but on the basis of a power imbalance and escape
c) may be a professional expert at relationship fantasy which you have also been doing (since that is part of the game) - even as a psych its hard to tell what is real sometimes (especially across the internet)
d) is very jealous when you don't message back (probably because of a or b and she is worried she will lose you, but could really be jealous because its real or because its part of the relationship fantasy to be jealous)
e) who you really like and don't want to tell them that it was all just fantasy (except for the really liking bit)
f) is either genuine or a really good pro.
g) whenever you try to discuss complications with the situation gets very upset
h) when you aren't very good at telling people things that may hurt them
i) and the very small chance that what you both feel is real but you have no way of knowing

Its just like real life trying to end something with someone you care about and don't want to hurt, with the added complications of a-i above

Oh, and I forgot say you have considerable knowledge of each other's lives and contact information due to c above and hope that each of you will act appropritly post relationship

best
ACG

 

[WickedTouch]

Let's just clarify something. Are you actually a qualified mental health professional, a psychiatrist or psychotherapist?

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Let's just clarify something. Are you actually a qualified mental health professional, a psychiatrist or psychotherapist?

That bears no relevance to this thread and is asking personal information about me which I think is inappropriate. I just asked a simple question and this thread has turned into some crazy argument space and now people are being given the third degree abut their identity.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Let's just clarify something. Are you actually a qualified mental health professional, a psychiatrist or psychotherapist?

Patient sounds more likely.

That bears no relevance to this thread and is asking personal information about me which I think is inappropriate. I just asked a simple question and this thread has turned into some crazy argument space and now people are being given the third degree abut their identity.

Oh come now, you were begging for someone to ask you about it.

I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

even as a psych its hard to tell what is real sometimes

I was sort of hoping for an amusing twist when someone finally noticed it for you. I won't lie; your response was a total disappointment.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Patient sounds more likely.


Oh come now, you were begging for someone to ask you about it.




I was sort of hoping for an amusing twist when someone finally noticed it for you. I won't lie; your response was a total disappointment.

what is your people's problem. Im sorry I even mentioned it.

obviously some of you people aren't interested in discussing the point at hand and just want to attack people

at least a few people cared enough to discuss it seriously instead of being assholes

 

[WickedTouch]

That bears no relevance to this thread and is asking personal information about me which I think is inappropriate. I just asked a simple question and this thread has turned into some crazy argument space and now people are being given the third degree abut their identity.

Au contraire! I disagree. After all, I did not ask who you were, but only what was your professional background. No personal details were required... just a simple YES/NO answer. Too difficult huh?

Now, since you have opted to avoid answering a very simple question... to which in essence I already knew the answer, I wonder what else you have to hide? To be fair we only have your one-sided view of this situation, but I now have a strong feeling that you have trimmed the details for your own benefit... and I wonder why. Your reactions to simple questions are a tad.... unusual at best.

Hmm...

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Au contraire! I disagree. After all, I did not ask who you were, but only what was your professional background. No personal details were required... just a simple YES/NO answer. Too difficult huh?

Now, since you have opted to avoid answering a very simple question... to which in essence I already knew the answer, I wonder what else you have to hide? To be fair we only have your one-sided view of this situation, but I now have a strong feeling that you have trimmed the details for your own benefit... and I wonder why. Your reactions to simple questions are a tad.... unusual at best.

Hmm...

With all respect due to you(which isn't much at all) you know nothing about my professional background unless you spy on people's identity and privacy.
And as I said it bears no relation to the discussion at hand.

You my friend and the other asshole are just a couple of trolling assholes. I have checked your posts and I'm surprised the moderators allow you to post here

So please if you want to be constructive please do so. Otherwise just leave me alone

 

[justjoinedtopost]

With all respect due to you(which isn't much at all) you know nothing about my professional background unless you spy on people's identity and privacy.
And as I said it bears no relation to the discussion at hand.

You my friend and the other asshole are just a couple of trolling assholes. I have checked your posts and I'm surprised the moderators allow you to post here

So please if you want to be constructive please do so. Otherwise just leave me alone

 

[BiancaBaker]

Its a different situation. The friend I have is a Cam girl I met online many years ago. I know her husband and her family anfd her baby. We are friends. I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

No need to be so cynical. I know the worlld you inhabit may make you that way and most guys (including myself sometimes) are total suckers

The situation I am asking about is a different woman where relationship fantasy has gone a bit out of hand from her side and I am worried its going to blow up much like when real relationships end. Plus I assume Cam moedls have real feelings too (as do their clients) Not everyone are hard bastards

If she has a husband then you are delusional and a baby (come on?).. dude she does NOT want you. I don't think you understand..We all totally understand because guys fall for cam girls all the time and think that we are in love with them. It's delusional because it's NOT reality. She is married with a child and you still think she wants you sexually or romantically? NO.

 

[AlexaCrush]

a)probably is only interested in your money (thats why she is on the site) and in which case may never be totally honest with you
b) (variant on a) may want a long term commitment but on the basis of a power imbalance and escape
c) may be a professional expert at relationship fantasy which you have also been doing (since that is part of the game) - even as a psych its hard to tell what is real sometimes (especially across the internet)
d) is very jealous when you don't message back (probably because of a or b and she is worried she will lose you, but could really be jealous because its real or because its part of the relationship fantasy to be jealous)
e) who you really like and don't want to tell them that it was all just fantasy (except for the really liking bit)
f) is either genuine or a really good pro.
g) whenever you try to discuss complications with the situation gets very upset
h) when you aren't very good at telling people things that may hurt them
i) and the very small chance that what you both feel is real but you have no way of knowing

a/b/c. Well it is her job so....
d. It could be fear of losing money, it could be fear of losing a friend. You should ask her.
e. Let's be honest....she knows it's a fantasy. Again, that's her job.
f. Or both? It's a fantasy, yes, but it's not unheard of for camgirls to develop friendships with some members. This is why you need to have a conversation with her to figure out what's going on.
g/h. Or ghost her since it doesn't sound like she's able to handle a conversation without freaking out and you don't do well with difficult situations.
i. Then just have the damn conversation.

The way I see it there are two options (three if you want to stay in limbo). You either block all her stuff and never talk to her again to avoid the painful conversation or you act like an adult and have a conversation with her about how you guys feel and go from there. None of us here know what's going on with you two.

Also, isn't it like...a conflict of interest for a mental health professional to be providing counseling to someone they are also paying to get naked online?

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

a)probably is only interested in your money (thats why she is on the site) and in which case may never be totally honest with you
b) (variant on a) may want a long term commitment but on the basis of a power imbalance and escape
c) may be a professional expert at relationship fantasy which you have also been doing (since that is part of the game) - even as a psych its hard to tell what is real sometimes (especially across the internet)
d) is very jealous when you don't message back (probably because of a or b and she is worried she will lose you, but could really be jealous because its real or because its part of the relationship fantasy to be jealous)
e) who you really like and don't want to tell them that it was all just fantasy (except for the really liking bit)
f) is either genuine or a really good pro.
g) whenever you try to discuss complications with the situation gets very upset
h) when you aren't very good at telling people things that may hurt them
i) and the very small chance that what you both feel is real but you have no way of knowing

Well, you made it clear that you are already aware of the reality of the situation. There's really nothing more we can do for you, except give you attention which it seems is the only thing you wanted from this thread, given that you have the solution to your problem already figured out. Just end it. It's not real.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Thanks for nothing everybody.

I don't think I've ever come across such a rude community of people who just seem to get their jollies and overcompensate their inadequacies by attacking, insulting and belittling people

What a bunch of losers, with the exception of the few nice people who responded

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

You received lots of kind advice, and then you went on to respond to each person who gave that advice, arguing that you wouldn't be following it. What did you expect to happen? It seems that you are just upset that no one gave you the answer that you wanted to hear.

It's highly likely that she is more concerned about you hurting her earnings than her feelings.

 

[Dan Epstein]

@BiancaBaker you gave me a link to this thread don't know why. I'm just glad to see @justjoinedtopost again
@anonCamGuy69 no one is attacking you personally here, and this is not a community of people who latch at one another. As for being a loser, I'm okay with that adjective. I'd rather be a loser in ACF than a winner on Facebook You opened a door, we walked through it.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

a/b/c. Well it is her job so....
d. It could be fear of losing money, it could be fear of losing a friend. You should ask her.
e. Let's be honest....she knows it's a fantasy. Again, that's her job.
f. Or both? It's a fantasy, yes, but it's not unheard of for camgirls to develop friendships with some members. This is why you need to have a conversation with her to figure out what's going on.
g/h. Or ghost her since it doesn't sound like she's able to handle a conversation without freaking out and you don't do well with difficult situations.
i. Then just have the damn conversation.

The way I see it there are two options (three if you want to stay in limbo). You either block all her stuff and never talk to her again to avoid the painful conversation or you act like an adult and have a conversation with her about how you guys feel and go from there. None of us here know what's going on with you two.

Also, isn't it like...a conflict of interest for a mental health professional to be providing counseling to someone they are also paying to get naked online?

Hi Alexa

You are one of the few people who were polite to me so thankyou.

But don't buy into all that ignorant stuff posted by those rude busybody about mental health professions and insulting me and prying.

I don't provide any professional services to anyone online, whether I was qualified too or not. I just counsel a friend occasionally because she asked me too. By counsel, I advise her as a friend and she dosn't take her clothes off for me, and I have known her for years. She is a friend with a husband and a baby who happens to be a cam girl. It seems everyone got the story confused

OK there a couple of real trouble makers on here making insinuations and prying into my private life and trying to drum up some situation which doesn't exist. Please just ignore them like I am. They are just troublemakes and misleading people ok. But if anyone really did know anything about mental health professions, nothing I do would have any confict of interest attached. That is assuming I had any professional standing.

Thanks again for caring. You are one of the few on this thread I am not ignoring

Best ACG

 

[justjoinedtopost]

She is a friend with a husband and a baby who happens to be a cam girl.

I hope the fuck this baby is over 18.

 

[Gen]

But if anyone really did know anything about mental health professions, nothing I do would have any confict of interest attached.

The way you phrased it made it seem like it does. “I give my friend advice” is not the same as “free psych counselling”. That’s why people honed in on this.

 

[mynameisbob84]

A: "I'm a psychiatrist and I give this married mother I'm romantically and sexually interested in free counselling"
B: "Are you a professionally trained psychiatrist?"
A: "Don't you dare ask me such personal questions"

 

[justjoinedtopost]

There are 3 characters in this saga...

1. The caring OP, who is struggling with a difficult situation (which he has come to seek help for)
2. The model, who he must toss back into the proverbial sea even though she has become obsessed with him
3. Another model (who has a husband and a baby), a close close lifelong friend to OP, who is also helping him disentangle himself from character #2. This is the model he is giving "free psych counseling to when she needs it"

A couple of people seem to be confusing character #2 with character #3, which I completely understand, but if he has to keep going back and explaining this, we are never going to get to the poetry and tattoos.

 

[AmberCutie]

You my friend and the other asshole are just a couple of trolling assholes. I have checked your posts and I'm surprised the moderators allow you to post here

If you think the comments in this thread are that bad, you might want to consider turning off the Internet.

Your overreaction and reporting of the posts in this thread is mind boggling.

 

[AmberCutie]

we are never going to get to the poetry and tattoos.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Yeah thanks

I know I could do stuff like that. I don't know if I could

But given the situation it would be good to know that I am just a client and nothing more, to make it easier

Either way I think I only have one path and that is to either piss her off or hurt her, neither of which I want

And the crazy thing is if it wasn't for the fact I need to end it I would be on the plane across the world tomorrow to see her. Because whether she cares for me not I love spending time with her, as many hours and minutes as I can. And thats what she wants me to do. To jump on a plane



Thanks

You are reading WAAAAAAY too far into the situation. Just send her a message saying "Hey, for personal reasons, I won't be coming around anymore. It was fun, I wish you well. Good bye!"

Polite. To the point. Situation over.

Models get messages like this fairly frequently. It's not going to be the end of the world for her.

 

[ExcellaExe]

That bears no relevance to this thread and is asking personal information about me which I think is inappropriate. I just asked a simple question and this thread has turned into some crazy argument space and now people are being given the third degree abut their identity.

Nope. this has bearing. You are not in a place to be doing this if you have a lisence. This is a clear conflict of interest and were you a health care professional you should know that. @WickedTouch brought up a good point.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I’m lost here. I really am. Just try to be a good person.

 

[AudriTwo]

This all seems like unnecessary drama.


Also if you are a mental health professional, super unethical to give someone counciling when you have a sexual relationship with. You should know better. You are not in a position to do that.