It seems I once again have an apology to make. When it occurred to me that I had been out of line, my first thought was to leave a mfc-mail, or try a PM here. I hate mfc mail for numerous reasons. I wondered how often she came here tho? I had seen a post or two, but I could not be sure she would get a PM here any time soon. I also thought, that the Faux pas, or misstep, i had committed, most likely was being committed by other idiots every day. For that reason, i decided to post the apology in public. I could leave a simple, 'please see @ ACF' in her MFC-mail.
Now I said idiot, and that's what I meant. Not a stupid person, but a person who really has no good excuse for the error in their ways. A person, who from pure laziness of the mind, commits a dumb act. This was my crime, and I was a bit blown away when I did think about my actions. It was an easy thought process that brought me to the realization, that i had acted like an idiot, and worse, had been acting like an idiot for a long time.
OK, when I came to this understanding this morning, i imagined how i might construct a PM to the Model. It involved me walking her through my thought process, that she could, A:understand how I came to what I had done, and, B:see the absence of thought that had allowed me to come to what I had done. Though what concerned me most, was that she could see that I was indeed an idiot, and not a nut. I thought this approach would also provide that reassurance.
MY THOUGHTS in chat room
Listening to you I am overwhelmed with mixed thoughts. God your a mess, so much like myself at your age. You are so remarkably mature and wise for your age, so much not like myself at your age. You are so wise in many ways for any age. There are things you are saying, that I only came to in my 40's. Things that many ppl never come to understand. You are so amazingly brilliant, and at the same time such a mess. What is most impressive to me though, is how honest you are. (honest in the classic 'telling no lies' sense is not the correct word to use, but failing to come up with the right word, i will explain what i mean by honest in this instance.) You seem to have absolutely no walls up. You are thinking out loud, and it is pure of any inhibitions. There are no filters and your 100% in your skin, there is no part of you outside looking back, Questioning? should i this or should i that. This is why I know you would be a wonderful actor. Many ppl tend to have a misimpression of what it is to act well. They believe it is about being phony. It is not. It is about being just the opposite. It is about what you have in spades.
(It is late and very slow. I am tired and need to get some sleep. Bad_Wolfbb ((Cam)) opens tip window)
you know if I was not so tired, and I had 1000 tokens, this would be one of those times i have heard about where a member takes a model Private just to get the goal $ thing out of the way. But I am tired and don't have the tokens other than the few here I will tip on the way to bed. Listening to the things you understand just blows me away. Tip note? let me see? I have told her how good it is to hear someone be as real and straight up as she is. I don't want to sound like a broken record? (Model says one more thing that impresses Bad_Wolfbb) You know it is really no wounder that some members actually fall in love with Models. The way I was 20 years ago, and had that 29 year old me been here now, i am not sure logic and reason would have been strong enough influences That I might not have been one of those members. No matter how crazy it is that so many members do fall in a crazy sort of love with Models, the fact that they do, and understanding how they do is not hard at all. It really isn't. (types in the tip note) "And ppl wonder how members fall in love with Models. They have not spent any time in your room." (sends tip, and tip note)
Model reads tip note and says "Thanks,,,, i,, think"
I don't know about anyone else, but my failure to see what I was doing here, was because I was not empathizing with the Model. I knew that I meant nothing by it, or rather that I meant exactly what I said and nothing more. But the fact that I am sure of my intentions means nothing really from the other side of the cam.
You know there are probably some who at this point, are thinking, all that for what? Is it really a big deal? I'm not sure, I think it probably is to most Models? Whit all the nuts that are out there, I think we should do our best to never put any one in the position of having to question whether or not we are one of those nuts, even if only a little bit.
Maybe we should use this thread to come up with a list of words that should trigger us to think.
Now I said idiot, and that's what I meant. Not a stupid person, but a person who really has no good excuse for the error in their ways. A person, who from pure laziness of the mind, commits a dumb act. This was my crime, and I was a bit blown away when I did think about my actions. It was an easy thought process that brought me to the realization, that i had acted like an idiot, and worse, had been acting like an idiot for a long time.
OK, when I came to this understanding this morning, i imagined how i might construct a PM to the Model. It involved me walking her through my thought process, that she could, A:understand how I came to what I had done, and, B:see the absence of thought that had allowed me to come to what I had done. Though what concerned me most, was that she could see that I was indeed an idiot, and not a nut. I thought this approach would also provide that reassurance.
MY THOUGHTS in chat room
Listening to you I am overwhelmed with mixed thoughts. God your a mess, so much like myself at your age. You are so remarkably mature and wise for your age, so much not like myself at your age. You are so wise in many ways for any age. There are things you are saying, that I only came to in my 40's. Things that many ppl never come to understand. You are so amazingly brilliant, and at the same time such a mess. What is most impressive to me though, is how honest you are. (honest in the classic 'telling no lies' sense is not the correct word to use, but failing to come up with the right word, i will explain what i mean by honest in this instance.) You seem to have absolutely no walls up. You are thinking out loud, and it is pure of any inhibitions. There are no filters and your 100% in your skin, there is no part of you outside looking back, Questioning? should i this or should i that. This is why I know you would be a wonderful actor. Many ppl tend to have a misimpression of what it is to act well. They believe it is about being phony. It is not. It is about being just the opposite. It is about what you have in spades.
(It is late and very slow. I am tired and need to get some sleep. Bad_Wolfbb ((Cam)) opens tip window)
you know if I was not so tired, and I had 1000 tokens, this would be one of those times i have heard about where a member takes a model Private just to get the goal $ thing out of the way. But I am tired and don't have the tokens other than the few here I will tip on the way to bed. Listening to the things you understand just blows me away. Tip note? let me see? I have told her how good it is to hear someone be as real and straight up as she is. I don't want to sound like a broken record? (Model says one more thing that impresses Bad_Wolfbb) You know it is really no wounder that some members actually fall in love with Models. The way I was 20 years ago, and had that 29 year old me been here now, i am not sure logic and reason would have been strong enough influences That I might not have been one of those members. No matter how crazy it is that so many members do fall in a crazy sort of love with Models, the fact that they do, and understanding how they do is not hard at all. It really isn't. (types in the tip note) "And ppl wonder how members fall in love with Models. They have not spent any time in your room." (sends tip, and tip note)
Model reads tip note and says "Thanks,,,, i,, think"
Think before you send!
imagine yourself in the models place. You may know that there is no obsession in your comment, but how is she to know that? Well she knows me, and knows I am straight up, and I wrote in chat that there was nothing meant by that. Then I said that, "i just understand how it happens", so she knows. No, she might be a little less anxious, by your reassurances, but prolly not much. Isn't that exactly what a member with a problematic obsessions would say too? I don't know about anyone else, but my failure to see what I was doing here, was because I was not empathizing with the Model. I knew that I meant nothing by it, or rather that I meant exactly what I said and nothing more. But the fact that I am sure of my intentions means nothing really from the other side of the cam.
You know there are probably some who at this point, are thinking, all that for what? Is it really a big deal? I'm not sure, I think it probably is to most Models? Whit all the nuts that are out there, I think we should do our best to never put any one in the position of having to question whether or not we are one of those nuts, even if only a little bit.
Maybe we should use this thread to come up with a list of words that should trigger us to think.
I'll start with LOVE
