I came out over a year ago for the reasons it sounds like you want to. I feel like if we want to help end stigma against sex workers then the ones hiding in plain sight should come out if they can. I understand it's a personal decision and I don't judge anyone for being out or in either way but I personally felt like I needed to be out to do my part so to speak.
I had planned on coming out for a few months when it happened accidentally. I linked my facebook and instagram on accident and boom everyone on facebook started following my work instagram. So I made a video on my phone that was about ten minutes long and I posted it to facebook. I didn't get any negative responses there but I'm not someone who is facebook friends with everyone I've ever met and people I went to high school with so that helped I'm sure. I said in the video that I made clips and was a cam model and that I was sure most people knew what that meant, that it has been a really rewarding job that I love. That it enables me to go therapy with L every time and enables me to homeschool her. I talked about the stigma against sex workers and that maybe next time they hear a stripper or hooker joke they can realize that they know a sex worker who is an awesome Mom and is in a healthy marriage. I also talked about how their support (some people had messaged already after seeing my instagram) meant a lot to me because it wasn't something I had gotten from everyone. I live in a very small town, once that was posted the town knew and that kind of worked in my favor I didn't have to come out over and over. I think it just showed me how sometimes we only pay attention to the negative and judgemental people and we fail to see how open minded a lot of people can be.
I had come out to my close friends right when I started working because it just didn't occur to me not to and they all always knew I was interested in sex work. It wasn't something I stumbled upon, it was something I had always sought out. So it was no surprise and that was easy for me.
I come from a family of bold women who are deluded enough to think they are feminists. My Mom has always been anti-porn, anti anything sexual, anti the world because she is a severely damaged woman. I knew how the conversation with her and my sister would go but it was making me feel sick to feel like I couldn't be myself with them, it made me not want to be around them. I resented them for making me feel so unwelcome my whole life. So I told them that this is what I was doing, I told them that questioning my mental health or my reasons for doing it was not going to be tolerated (oh hunny this is just bc you were raped as a child is 100% their thinking and I'm not going to listen to that shit anymore). That I hoped they could be supportive and love me regardless of any of this. They responded saying to no longer talk to my entire step family so no one knew, asking me not to tell my own extended family and to not ever come out in general, they said they would never talk to me about it and never wanted to hear about it. I quit talking to them because putting a ton of rules on someone and adding an but I still love you, at the end isn't love and it isn't support. Just a few months ago my Mom started coming around and making a real effort with me and now we do talk more and I am just starting to resent her a little less. Though those were always issues in our relationship, this situation just brought them to the surface. So I didn't have a good experience coming out to my family but I knew it was going to go exactly the way that it did, being in that they all think that pornography is rape. So, I knew what I was getting into, I wasn't shocked by anything that happened or was said.
Regarding being out, I do regret it sometimes. But it's more of a grass is greener situation. I wasn't happy being in and I'm not any happier being out, it's just different. It is nice just being able to be honest about small things, like needing to work, or that when I went to Florida last summer it was for a work convention, things normal people would be able to do. I was single for a few months since being out and that was hell. Everyone assumed I was so easy and it's all anyone wanted to talk to me about. I still, a year later, get messages from guys I haven't seen in ten years saying they'll be in town next week and I know what the assumption there is. It's exhausting because I don't allow myself to be an object in my job, that doesn't suit me and my mental health can't handle it. My best male friend is no longer my friend because I got sick of being this sexual entity that he placed all these fantasies on. He was never rude or out of place with me but I could feel how he felt and I could read between the lines in what he said and it literally tore my heart to shreds. This person was a best friend for over ten years. Honestly, if I were to move far away I wouldn't continue to be out. As much as I think it's the right thing to do, I find it annoying a lot of days and I wish I would have kept it to just my close friends and family rather than going to full blown route. I'm not trying to deter you obviously, I just think I was naive at the time and because I knew it was the right thing to do I didn't let myself think about the downsides. I wish I would have taken both into consideration, but that's on me and just how being out effects me personally. Everyone is different.
