Genuine concern for someone's wellbeing

[Violet Dawn]

But hey I'm getting over it


Not some loser to care about a worthless model

Now I have more money, fewer fake promises and dreams and less stress in my life

And she now has enough to buy her luxury apartment for her much better looking young fiance

Bro, grow up. Yall talked daily for 2 years and she hasn't spoke to you for a day. A DAY.

I have days where I'm so cripplingly sick that I don't even talk to the people I care about the most.

You're a member, not her dad. You are entitled to nothing.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

I am friends with models to the degree that I have their real contact information and this is not the way to behave if you are a sane person that wants to be friends with anyone. This reads more like the movie The Cable Guy, freaking creepy stalker behavior. I have never had a friend that I have talked to every single day for two years model or not. Personally I would rather work the fryer at McDonald's than put up with this for two years. I hope you learn how to back off and be a better friend to people in the future.

 

[Life_Happens]

Wow! This topic, and the responses given by OP scream troll to me. And if not, I agree with DJ - a little stalkerish.
I have a couple models who I chat with with offsite frequently. If they are incognito for a day or two - no biggie! They have a REAL life.
In fact, if you give the space and leave her alone, she will most likely appreciate time with you a lot more than if you freak out about a few hours of no communication.
Just chill, dude. Go out with friends...binge a TV series...enjoy the cool things about life.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

What do you think I should do

You are not dating IRL. Should be nothing of your concern and you shouldn't feel responsible. Also, comes off as quite needy and rather stlalkerish. Why would you panic, and why would you care and be so invested? I do not get where the problem is. My 2 cents.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Sorry for dp. Just to clarify: I wanted to say that maybe she has some problems she has to deal with. I do no get why you feel entitled to have an explanation from her as to why she is not reachable at the moment. Are you a friend of hers/ her boyfriend/ a family member?

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Every 2 days it feels like some dude's here going off because we're "obnoxious shits" or were all "mean" or whatever. I'm not trying to be a smart ass or a perv, but have y'all tried maybe messaging each other? Maybe you might enjoy each other's company if you know what I mean. Just seems like the logical next step to me. You guys (who're all pissed like that) can soothe and nurture each other's emotions and all that, and cut us out of it. Sorry if that's a controversial thing to say, but just a thought.

Y'all can relate to each other and provide each other with the support that you're looking for. Since the cost-free support we give is never good enough.
Seems logical to me.

That way you'll feel understood, supported, and less lonely, and we can all get a break from it...
Win win.
Don't knock it till you try it

Totally--- so many dudes come to a cam model forum asking for input/feedback/suggestions/advise then end up flipping out when it's given to you and you don't agree with it. (See most of the "in love with a camgirl" threads) If this guy really believed his relationship with her was genuine he wouldn't be here basically asking us how to proceed with stalking this model for taking a day off. Don't bother posting in "Ask a cam model" if you actually don't want honest responses and want to be coddled

 

[NotYou]

Wow, for someone so concerned, you soon quickly changed your opinion over the space of a short period in your comments.
I understand that it might be weird for her to just go "cold" and stop talking, but that doesn't mean anything bad. ANy number of things could have happened. Plenty of times before I had smartphone (and mobile data) I lost my internet, either due to technical faults, weather, me not paying bills (or too late) so I was cut off... my computer breaking, or god knows what else, so I could not communicate with the world except those I am close to in real life.. it can be days or weeks before resolving.

Not to mention all the health and well being breaks she may want or NEED or family emergencies. Maybe try to consider HER feelings and privacy and space right now?

At least wait a week or 2 weeks before getting so worked up.

 

[Danigirl]

Soo... She's supposed to be at your beck and call 24/7 and when she takes time to herself she must be dead. Of course that makes sense. She only lives to talk to you.

When I'm not working, I'M NOT WORKING. You're lucky you got that much attention because even if you were a whale, I would have banned you. That kind of clinginess/obsession/practically thinking you own her time out of work is way over the top. Believe it or not, models actually are real people with real lives outside of work. Not a blow up doll with access to the internet.

 

[rockin_rod]

Consider whether your concern is genuinely for her well-being, or for your own feelings.
Space and boundaries are absolutely vital. Both for viewers and for models, but especially the models.

 

[AmberCutie]

Consider whether your concern is genuinely for her well-being, or for your own feelings.
Space and boundaries are absolutely vital. Both for viewers and for models, but especially the models.

Curiosity can be crippling.

 

[donnie123456]

Let me summarise the thread and I suggest you all look very hard at yourselves in the mirror

You seemingly are all clealry incapabale of any plesant or caring behaviour towards a model (inn possible serious distress or even deceased) or towards a person who actually cared for them

Look at the thread and look in the mirror the lot of you

PS And look up rhetoric in a dictionary. Totally obnoxious behaviour and sadly par for the course

You all launched into me after raising serious concerns. You insulted me. You insulted her. You showed total disregard for the difference between your privilege and hers.

I've faced these attacks before here and its a total pile on.

I genuinely came here hoping for some support but you all let down a beautiful young person who may well be dead

 

[donnie123456]

.... sorry can't add to the previous one. And after a long stream of obnoxious and hurtful comments when I have been worried sick over someone (I genuinely loved and cared about) and their well being under possible very serious circumstances, I stopped reading when I realised I would just get obnoxious hurtful attacks. From the word go

I haven't logged on for 3 days because your obnoxiousness was too upsetting and I have ignored all the comments. I can't face more hurt

Show a bit of decency to people who ae worth more than the lot of you put together. She was a very special person and didn't deserve anything bad

I'm still trying to decide on different ways to find what may have happened to her. How would you feel if someone just disappeared from your life. Someone special and kind and beautiful.

Not knowing whether harm came to her. etc

 

[donnie123456]

Shall we start again

Shall I ask again

Shall we proceed without an obnoxious pile-on and the usual attack the poster mentality

But also start from the assumption that as someone who has known the person concerned (at least via phone) for two years and their problems and what they have been going through that I actually know the situation better than any of you

I also know to respect her boundaries and privacy - family issues as much as anything

Do I need to go on and how hard it is asking for genuine support from a supposed support group only to be viciously and repeatedly attacked

I actually held off on many avenues of emergency contact or investigation for those very reasons. Do you know how hard it was thinking she could be alone and dying in her room yet not being able to or think it was right to intervene. I could have contacted police, neighbours, hospitals anyone in her area of town to try to find her. But I didn't stick my nose in. Yet she could have been lying dying in her bed alone. etc

Its been a few weeks offline, 5 days since I heard anything (after 2 years almost constant communication). Who knows what could have happened

Given the run up to the "disappearance" and knowng the sort of person she was/is she wasn't really the blocking and disappearing type. Its more like the phone being dead

Shall I go on. Do any of you care about people at all

 

[MallorieReese]

Wow, sounds like she really needs that time off. Be nice enough to give it to her and stop panicking - it's only 24h.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

How would you feel if someone just disappeared from your life. Someone special and kind and beautiful.

Not knowing whether harm came to her. etc

That's life. Get used to it, especially if you are going to interact with people in online spaces.

Shall we start again

Shall I ask again

No. Unless you want to hear the same...

Shall we proceed without an obnoxious pile-on and the usual attack the poster mentality

But also start from the assumption that as someone who has known the person concerned (at least via phone) for two years and their problems and what they have been going through that I actually know the situation better than any of you

Oh.

Do I need to go on and how hard it is asking for genuine support from a supposed support group only to be viciously and repeatedly attacked

Wait. What? I think you are confused about what this is. You sound like you are looking for a therapist, this is not the place.

 

[MarieElise]

This isn't free therapy, go pay for it. I can't speak for everyone else, but I don't provide free emotional support and companionship to random people I've never met.
Just like you do with this cam model you "care" about, who wait ...was "worthless" 2 seconds later. Red Flag city.

Stop being so cheap and lazy, and get your ass to a therapist. You're trying to take advantage of us, then getting abusive when we rightly don't let you, and set boundaries.
Something it doesn't seem you are used to i.e. boundaries.
It's old, and overdone.

 

[AudriTwo]

Its been a few weeks offline, 5 days since I heard anything (after 2 years almost constant communication). Who knows what could have happened

5 days? well in that case...

you should keep respecting her space. only one person knows what happened. only she does and she chose not to communicate that with you.


accept she is taking a break, dealing with real life, quit, or living her best life.
we aren't going to advise you how to report her missing or potentially stalk her. no cammodel here would be okay with other models doing the same if a member was desperately and emotionally trying to reach them.

Do I need to go on and how hard it is asking for genuine support from a supposed support group only to be viciously and repeatedly attacked

this is a discussion board. not a support board. if you need support, may i suggest therapy or an actual support group that isn't online.


if you think something like her being sex trafficked or whatever, report it to the FBI or Interpol.

 

[englishmuffins]

1. Just as many others recommended, please give her space.
2. No member is entitled to model’s private life. If they are sick, depressed, or are on vacation, please, respect their privacy.
3. Models do not come online at the whims of a member’s desire to see her or hear from her.
4. You have asked models and members alike our opinions and advice. They have done so and you felt the need to retort, unnecessarily so.
5. You have given an extreme scenario about death for a model, this comes off across as obsessive behavior.
6. You have also emotionally manipulated other’s responses to justify your backlash responses simply because you want someone to see if from your side and validate your entitlement to her. That’s not okay. Your behavior and discussion about the model in question and your responses are what has warranted the responses you have received.

We are very empathetic here. But when models and members are telling you to please give her space, that is the best thing to do.

 

[Marceline]

The way I see it, these are the two most likeliest reasons for why the model in question isn't responding:

1. She's sick and just doesn't feel like talking to anyone while she rests up.

2. After two years of dealing with OP's needy and obsessive behavior she finally got to a point where she either doesn't have to rely on him financially or just can't deal with it, finances be damned, and has ghosted him or straight up quit the industry. She didn't feel compelled to tell him anything because if this thread is any indicator, OP would have flipped out and come up with some crazy scenario as to why she doesn't want to talk to him anymore, like someone is coercing her not to talk to him, like her fiancé, instead of just accepting that she doesn't want to talk to him anymore. And then we would have had a thread here like "This model I talked to for 2 years told me out of nowhere she didn't wish to talk to me anymore. I'm genuinely concerned about her wellbeing since this isn't like her. I think someone is forcing her to not talk to me anymore and that she is in danger. I'm thinking about calling her local authorities. What should I do?"

OP, you said that she has a fiancé. So she clearly has at least one person nearby who is there looking out for her if something did happen, which is very unlikely. She doesn't need you to help her. Your "concern" comes off as creepy and selfish. If anyone seems like they don't care about other people, it's you. If the people who responded here didn't care, we would just be like "yeah, do what you want. Call the cops and the hospitals". But we're not doing that because the people here actually do care about the wellbeing of other models, and women in general. We're not going to egg someone on to stalk a model.

Also

You insulted her.

No. Literally the only person in this thread who insulted her is YOU.

Not some loser to care about a worthless model

Now I have more money, fewer fake promises and dreams and less stress in my life

And she now has enough to buy her luxury apartment for her much better looking young fiance

You're also the only person who insulted yourself. But okay.

I fucking swear, I'm so sick and tired of unstable dudes coming to this forum and throwing a tantrum when they aren't coddled and calling us uncaring because we refuse to lie to them or tell them to literally stalk a model. Seek legitimate professional help.

 

[rockin_rod]

I'm going to suggest that this is more about you not coping with losing the control you felt you had over this model.
The immediate leap to suspect the very worst after only 1 day; the attack at the responses here; the switch to dismissive attitude towards the model in your reply #20; all point to this.
Please, give her space. It'll be healthy for you too. If/when she wants to get in touch again, you'll hear from her.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Yeah I'm confused why you say WE insulted her by suggesting to give her privacy and not assume she's dead just for not talking to you. If anything we're being far more considerate and protective of her than you have been. If she is sick, on the floor, dying, something happened etc--she has her "younger, good looking fiancé" to take care of her apparently. If you truly cared, that caring mask of yours wouldn't have slipped and you wouldn't pour out your anger and jealousy about her having a fiance and calling her worthless. That is not care or concern---that is possessive, jealous and obsessive behavior. I'd be pretty fucking hurt if someone who said that they cared about me suddenly say I'm worthless because I'm not at their beck and call. You can deflect all you want, manipulate and blame us---bottom line is you're the one insulting her here.

Telling you not to flip out is pretty empathetic--we're telling you the emotional worry you're putting yourself through isn't normal or healthy. We DO care about fellow models that's why we're telling you to leave her alone & get yourself some help if you feel so emotionally invested to the point of a heartbreak and want to use this place for a support group. We're not professional therapists.

 

[Danigirl]

The gaslighting on this thread by OP is amazing. So hard to imagine why nobody fell for it.

 

[AudriTwo]

The gaslighting on this thread by OP is amazing. So hard to imagine why nobody fell for it.

op: gaslights
us:

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

Let me summarise the thread and I suggest you all look very hard at yourselves in the mirror

You seemingly are all clealry incapabale of any plesant or caring behaviour towards a model (inn possible serious distress or even deceased) or towards a person who actually cared for them

Look at the thread and look in the mirror the lot of you

PS And look up rhetoric in a dictionary. Totally obnoxious behaviour and sadly par for the course

You all launched into me after raising serious concerns. You insulted me. You insulted her. You showed total disregard for the difference between your privilege and hers.

I've faced these attacks before here and its a total pile on.

I genuinely came here hoping for some support but you all let down a beautiful young person who may well be dead

rhetoric
noun

speech or writing intended to be effective and influence people:

How far the president will be able to translate his campaign rhetoric into action remains to be seen.
I was swayed by her rhetoric into donating all my savings to the charity.

I never insulted her and I don't know what her privilege is compared to mine so I can not possibly take that into account. Me perceiving you as creepy isn't anything I can do much about, I mulled it over for a bit more and I still perceive you that way. I wish you weren't creepy, but you are.

.... sorry can't add to the previous one. And after a long stream of obnoxious and hurtful comments when I have been worried sick over someone (I genuinely loved and cared about) and their well being under possible very serious circumstances, I stopped reading when I realised I would just get obnoxious hurtful attacks. From the word go

I haven't logged on for 3 days because your obnoxiousness was too upsetting and I have ignored all the comments. I can't face more hurt

Show a bit of decency to people who ae worth more than the lot of you put together. She was a very special person and didn't deserve anything bad

I'm still trying to decide on different ways to find what may have happened to her. How would you feel if someone just disappeared from your life. Someone special and kind and beautiful.

Not knowing whether harm came to her. etc

We should show a bit of decency? You were the one that called her worthless. You don't really care about her, you care about yourself and how you feel so you are trying to make yourself the hero in this.

Shall we start again

Shall I ask again

Shall we proceed without an obnoxious pile-on and the usual attack the poster mentality

But also start from the assumption that as someone who has known the person concerned (at least via phone) for two years and their problems and what they have been going through that I actually know the situation better than any of you

I also know to respect her boundaries and privacy - family issues as much as anything

Do I need to go on and how hard it is asking for genuine support from a supposed support group only to be viciously and repeatedly attacked

I actually held off on many avenues of emergency contact or investigation for those very reasons. Do you know how hard it was thinking she could be alone and dying in her room yet not being able to or think it was right to intervene. I could have contacted police, neighbours, hospitals anyone in her area of town to try to find her. But I didn't stick my nose in. Yet she could have been lying dying in her bed alone. etc

Its been a few weeks offline, 5 days since I heard anything (after 2 years almost constant communication). Who knows what could have happened

Given the run up to the "disappearance" and knowng the sort of person she was/is she wasn't really the blocking and disappearing type. Its more like the phone being dead

Shall I go on. Do any of you care about people at all

And now you are about to upgrade from being perceived as a creep to being a cyberstalker. Maybe you are the one who should take a look in the mirror.

 

[AmberCutie]

It’s a little concerning that the term “gaslighting” has gotten so casual and overused. IMO it should be reserved for very specific scenarios, not just when someone flips their script and/or lies.

I recently read where the term originated, and I can see that it’s a lot more of an intense situation than what we have experience here. Yes we told him he did something wrong, then he flipped the script and tries to paint us as the villains, but it might be a different scenario than actual gaslighting.

 

[AudriTwo]

It’s a little concerning that the term “gaslighting” has gotten so casual and overused. IMO it should be reserved for very specific scenarios, not just when someone flips their script and/or lies.

I recently read where the term originated, and I can see that it’s a lot more of an intense situation than what we have experience here. Yes we told him he did something wrong, then he flipped the script and tries to paint us as the villains, but it might be a different scenario than actual gaslighting.

the reason i think its gaslighting is he is trying to manipulate the thread so we question our judgment.

from my understanding and experience, its gaslighting or an attempt

 

[AmberCutie]

the reason i think its gaslighting is he is trying to manipulate the thread so we question our judgment.

from my understanding and experience, its gaslighting or an attempt

I guess I feel like gaslighting can only happen with someone you actually know and trust. We clearly give 2 shits about this guy lol.

My point being we’re diluting the power of the word by using it in such casual scenarios like this.

 

[donnie123456]

I am not gaslighting

I made a genuine post about genuine concern for someone

Stop misusing the term gaslighting too. I've been on the receiving end of gaslighting from some evil f**ks in my life. So use it properly

If the rest of you can't just show some respect for someone then I am not even going to waste time reading your obnoxious messages

What is your problem

People who think its funny. I feel I must be dealing with a group with a fair percentage of psychopaths. Thats the only way I can describe it. Often those who use terms like gaslighting and trying to turn around their obnoxious attitudes

It feels very personal. And very creepy. There has been some very creepy stalking of me (and possibly the models I visit) on various platforms. Same suck f**ks harassing me here and on other platforms. Maybe you got the wrong person

There is clear evidence to me from this thread of highly personal attacks - and across other platforms and Cam sites too. There are some real sick creeps out there

How do you track people. Something as simple as IP numbers, text analytics, Google search history - what do you creeps do to stalk and gaslight your victim. I am using gaslighting correctly now

Maybe some of the same creeps who do creepy stuff with DNS and other parts of our critical Internet infratructure

Lets get to the bottom of it creeps. And before everyone jumps on me that only applies to the creeps. If you don't self-identify with what I am saying please stay out. Too many people jumping o stuff that wasn't directed at them

What I posted was serious - potential police/health matter - and some obnoxious shits (not everyone) took an opportunity to attack me for almost 50 posts now

What else do creeps on Cam sites do. Can we trust all the sysadmins not to be creeping in and out of people's conversations. I've seen a fair few creepy stalky behaviours - imitation, posing as someone to get information, etc etc. Is anyone on this thread one of the creeps who has been giving me a hrd time in other parts of my life and relationships. Because you don't look good

I reckon its possibly creeps close to home - ISP level type stuff given the way they follow you, stalk you, mess with video streams etc

But the way many (not all) of you behaved on this threadover a serious issue and the obnoxious attacks is totally unbelivable but within the chacter I have observed from time to time

 

[AmberCutie]

It feels very personal. And very creepy.

There are some real sick creeps out there

Yes, and I know you think this is a personal attack, or whatever words you used, but your behavior with this exhibits the above. We keep telling you to just leave her alone and give her time. And if you never hear anything again, to move on, because you're just a cam site member.

What I posted was serious - potential police/health matter

It's seriously such a smaaaaaaaaal chance that it really is that, though, and if it is, it isn't your business. Again, you're just a cam site member.

 

[donnie123456]

Does anyone care about my OP and the person (possibly deceased) that I expressed genuine concern over. Anyone

On this thread I am only prepared to talk about that. It is all that matters to me. Its why I posted

No more attempts at disruption or constant straw men arguments to avoid the point

I will talk on the subject of the OP but its too late now I imagine for any emergency response if it were needed

But on the subject of creeps, has anyone on here been interfering with any of my relationships in my life anywhere - not restricted to Cams. Does everyone respect our privacy on here