How do I stop dwelling on the fact that I'm never able to attend AVN or other adult conventions?

[Guy]

Yes its loud, to many people and honestly not that much fun. I do not drink so being around obnoxious drunk people was not fun.. Also dude's touching me all the time..I went 4-5 years ago and honestly NEVER again. If you really want to attend one just fly? It's not as great as you think also TBH

I would JUST go to fetcon but I would go for the classes and to shoot content not to attend the convention.

Does Exxotica have the same issues?

 

[BiancaBaker]

Does Exxotica have the same issues?

This was exxotica I have never been to AVN and I have 0 desire to go. Also after that exxotica I do not think I would go again tbh.

 

[Dan Epstein]

There are other types of shows. The Internext, The Phoenix Forum, The Latin American Expo(Which I’m lucky to attend this year).
The B2B events don’t encourage disrespectful behavior, at least to the best extent of my knowledge (only two shows so far). I’ll fill my people in here once I’m there, just like I did in Romania last June.

 

[Emberblaze]

Non consensual groping. Nope. Nope. Nope. I can't even imagine what kind of little psycho I would turn onto over that. I'm really not a violent person but I've been in a bunch of fights and every single one was because a man put his hands on me in a non consensual manner and didn't cease when I told them to and when I escalated to raising my voice or something they pushed/slapped/hit me and I lost my shit.

Why the hell do these conventions allow this shit?

I used to do a dungeon area in a trade show that was adult themed every year that came here until the show got sold. Often in my underwear or next to nothing and the only time someone even reached out to touch me casually was while I was wearing latex and they just touched my arm. No one ever dared to grope me even though alcohol was served there. The show was very clear and last year while I was doing the mic for the dungeon area I basically walked around preaching it over the mic. The issue we actually had was photos without asking. But not touching any year that I was there.

 

[heybarkeep]

Are strip clubs a possibility? Won't pretend to understand the appeal of a porn convention but a strip club seems like it would be more fun.

 

[Fatquack]

I have never had a car or a license and that has never stopped me from traveling anywhere. Lack of funds, maybe, but never the lack of a car.

 

[MDouble00]

It's one of those things that my boys and I had discussed going to before just as casual let's go to Vegas during the AVN or the AEE or whatever. But, something always comes up and we lose the core of the group, or we all decide to go somewhere else. Once I discovered camming I was more intrigued by attending to meet some of the models I've followed over the years. As when the time draws near there is usually discussion from the models and members in the room about meeting up etc. Overall, I lean more towards I'm only likely going to go if we were already planning to be in Vegas before it kicked off or as it was closing out.

But, if it is something that you are dwelling over. Then as some have suggested, put the money aside to save up and book the trips early so you can get the best deals and so forth. It could be a bucket list thing for you. You wanted to do it, you put the work in and did it. If it exceeds your expectations all the better. If it doesn't live up to it, hey you still did it.

PS I don't recommend Bus/Train/ - and only go by car if you are road tripping with friends.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I have only been to the Melbourne Sexpo, I live in the UK so that one was just because I happened to be there. It was the first one MFC had done over there so it definitely wasn't the same as the Vegas one in terms of turn out and attention, which I have always watched from the other side of the pond feeling jealous. My experience there was that I enjoyed meeting the models and the guys from MFC, but the actual convention I found pretty boring and a bit creepy if I'll be honest, except the kissing and spanking sexy ladies part, that was obviously awesome! The guys I met who seemed cool and I had enjoyable conversations with were Heidiv's regulars, but they were there to meet her rather than being diehard porn fans. I know camming is technically porn, but being interactive in nature I feel like most members who befriend models are more respectful and well, normal, when it comes to talking to women. Not going to sugar coat it, there were a lot of very creepy and lewd men around, which isn't that unsurprising. Definitely would have loved Aussies I know to have come over, but I only turned up in Melbourne a week before and found out about the convention a few days before, so had no time to invite anyone. Gutted when I found out one of my good friends actually lives in Melbourne and decided not to go in case it made me feel uncomfortable, I would loved to have met him. So I don't know about other models, but for me having members you know show up is warmly received! The only thing I will say is not to expect too much from said model as conventions are pretty intense, especially if they cam all the way through, but it doesn't mean they're not super glad you're there. Kind of like going to a friends wedding, you don't get to talk to them that much because they're overwhelmed with attention, but they are still super happy to have you there.

The scary part was I got followed by a little asian dude who had been hanging around the stall earlier and bought another model a pair of shoes. I basically left the convention, it was still light and I think I'd gone a bit early as I felt ill (the con sickness thing is real), and the guy jumped on the tram right behind me. I don't know if he had followed me out of the convention or if he had been leaving anyway, but he started a conversation up with me while we were on the tram. I then realising rather suddenly we'd got to my stop said goodbye and jumped off. He looked too surprised to do anything and stayed on. I walked round the corner in the opposite direction to where the tram was going to the next stop, and low and behold, while I was waiting for my next tram he rushed round the corner and then very obviously attempted to casually start conversation with me. This time he was asking if I was going home and where I lived. Obviously aware he was following me I told him I wasn't going home, I was just meeting my boyfriend and some of my friends. At this he looked kind of distressed, a tram had pulled up and without looking at which one it was he jumped on it. I was glad the lie worked, as I was going home and my boyfriend was at work. He wasn't exactly the most threatening of men, and I have no idea what he thought was going to happen after he followed me back, but I'm glad I didn't find out all the same.

With the drinks spiking, yes men should definitely watch out for it, especially in gay venues where you're more likely to be targeted. I've had my drink spiked a bunch of times and have not had any obvious approaches in terms of date rape, so I do think a lot of times people spike, they're either just going around doing it for giggles, or they do it to lots of people to widen the chances of raping someone. Being spiked is awful even if all it does is ruin your day (and the one after with the comedown).

 

[Dan Epstein]

I have only been to the Melbourne Sexpo, I live in the UK so that one was just because I happened to be there. It was the first one MFC had done over there so it definitely wasn't the same as the Vegas one in terms of turn out and attention, which I have always watched from the other side of the pond feeling jealous. My experience there was that I enjoyed meeting the models and the guys from MFC, but the actual convention I found pretty boring and a bit creepy if I'll be honest, except the kissing and spanking sexy ladies part, that was obviously awesome! The guys I met who seemed cool and I had enjoyable conversations with were Heidiv's regulars, but they were there to meet her rather than being diehard porn fans. I know camming is technically porn, but being interactive in nature I feel like most members who befriend models are more respectful and well, normal, when it comes to talking to women. Not going to sugar coat it, there were a lot of very creepy and lewd men around, which isn't that unsurprising. Definitely would have loved Aussies I know to have come over, but I only turned up in Melbourne a week before and found out about the convention a few days before, so had no time to invite anyone. Gutted when I found out one of my good friends actually lives in Melbourne and decided not to go in case it made me feel uncomfortable, I would loved to have met him. So I don't know about other models, but for me having members you know show up is warmly received! The only thing I will say is not to expect too much from said model as conventions are pretty intense, especially if they cam all the way through, but it doesn't mean they're not super glad you're there. Kind of like going to a friends wedding, you don't get to talk to them that much because they're overwhelmed with attention, but they are still super happy to have you there.

The scary part was I got followed by a little asian dude who had been hanging around the stall earlier and bought another model a pair of shoes. I basically left the convention, it was still light and I think I'd gone a bit early as I felt ill (the con sickness thing is real), and the guy jumped on the tram right behind me. I don't know if he had followed me out of the convention or if he had been leaving anyway, but he started a conversation up with me while we were on the tram. I then realising rather suddenly we'd got to my stop said goodbye and jumped off. He looked too surprised to do anything and stayed on. I walked round the corner in the opposite direction to where the tram was going to the next stop, and low and behold, while I was waiting for my next tram he rushed round the corner and then very obviously attempted to casually start conversation with me. This time he was asking if I was going home and where I lived. Obviously aware he was following me I told him I wasn't going home, I was just meeting my boyfriend and some of my friends. At this he looked kind of distressed, a tram had pulled up and without looking at which one it was he jumped on it. I was glad the lie worked, as I was going home and my boyfriend was at work. He wasn't exactly the most threatening of men, and I have no idea what he thought was going to happen after he followed me back, but I'm glad I didn't find out all the same.

With the drinks spiking, yes men should definitely watch out for it, especially in gay venues where you're more likely to be targeted. I've had my drink spiked a bunch of times and have not had any obvious approaches in terms of date rape, so I do think a lot of times people spike, they're either just going around doing it for giggles, or they do it to lots of people to widen the chances of raping someone. Being spiked is awful even if all it does is ruin your day (and the one after with the comedown).

The B2B events are very different. In fact, getting into them requires a professional affiliation and a part in either the industry. or its sub industry (like the boring payment dude who types here). I have a good friend (a model, colleague), who really ups her game in fan events like the AVN, she creates swag items, and leads panel discussions. It's not always signing lingerie or flashing to fans, there are lots of positive professional activities. Affiliates, developers, entrepreneurs, models, designers, photographers, legal consultants, accountants, to name but a few. I always get to be mistaken for one of the waiters by the way
Given my experience in trade shows, +one coming up in Colombia next week, a pro with an agenda and a plan, would not engage in groping, or any type of illegal behavior. Corey Silverstein and Michael Fattorosi (aka Pornlaw) have all the ropes on the do's and don't do's in adult industry conventions by the way, it's hilarious to read but also very informative.
Besides, this year I'm supposed to moderate a short panel in Spanish, so I guarantee you that will Ferrel Spanglish moments will happen, I will share the goofs with y'all soon

 

[CharlieCharma]

Yep, I'm a guy and I protect my drink while I'm at a bar or anywhere as I mentioned above. Never know what's going to happen. Have seen too many people get fucked with regarding their drinks.

Though, now I rarely drink alcohol, so it's more water or soda/pop when I'm out. Still, same rules apply.

My old roommate felt iffy about some dude giving her a drink. She was going to toss it, but our male friend thought that would be wasteful. Thirty minutes later he was being put into a cab by a bunch of cops because he was so fucked up.The cab apparently looked in his uber for an address since my friend was too fucked up to give one. I found him on my porch asleep in vomit later that night since my house was the last one he ubered to.

With the drinks spiking, yes men should definitely watch out for it, especially in gay venues where you're more likely to be targeted. I've had my drink spiked a bunch of times and have not had any obvious approaches in terms of date rape, so I do think a lot of times people spike, they're either just going around doing it for giggles, or they do it to lots of people to widen the chances of raping someone. Being spiked is awful even if all it does is ruin your day (and the one after with the comedown).

I was told by a cop when I was a teenager that most people who spike drinks don't do so because they want to date rape someone. They do it because of the power trip seeing someone pass out/not being able to hold their liquor thing. Like to humiliate them and get off with it later. Super fucked up.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

My old roommate felt iffy about some dude giving her a drink. She was going to toss it, but our male friend thought that would be wasteful. Thirty minutes later he was being put into a cab by a bunch of cops because he was so fucked up.The cab apparently looked in his uber for an address since my friend was too fucked up to give one. I found him on my porch asleep in vomit later that night since my house was the last one he ubered to.



I was told by a cop when I was a teenager that most people who spike drinks don't do so because they want to date rape someone. They do it because of the power trip seeing someone pass out/not being able to hold their liquor thing. Like to humiliate them and get off with it later. Super fucked up.

I think I have heard the same thing, not from a cop, but it is something I "knew" from when I was in my teens. I definitely felt that way when I had been spiked as no one seemed to be around trying to take advantage. The only time it ever led to sex was I was on a date with a kind of friend/fuck buddy, we were sleeping together anyway and just went out for a drink. I remember him bumping into some friends as I sat drinking a glass of wine, I can't remember anyone spiking me, but I was near the bar and it could have easily happened. That is the last thing I remember before him helping walk me back and then waking up in the morning. The fucked up thing is, we apparently had sex when we got back (which I have no memory of). While I don't think he was the one who spiked me, and I was happy with sleeping with him normally, I was really not ok that he had sex with me while I was out of my mind like that. It's one of the reasons you should never have sex with someone who seems very drunk/out of control, even if you have a sexual relationship normally. People often say "but they chose to drink", that's not a good excuse anyway, but you also don't know if the person was spiked. When I expressed I had been spiked he didn't believe me.

The craziest thing with spiking is that no one ever believes you're not "just drunk", even when you can usually hold your drink and suddenly cannot stand people don't realise what's going on. I've been spiked before on nights I've been drinking soft drinks, and even my boyfriend at the time who had been buying me the soft drinks didn't realise what was going on. I've also been spiked when I've been drinking fuck loads anyway. There's a very clear difference in the response as well as the comedown. I remember a friend of mine wanting to go to a gay bar and me and my girlfriends taking a stand wanting to go to a straight bar for once, so we agreed to each go to our own bars then meet up at the night club half an hour later. I found him outside completely off his face, he was being looked after by some friendly randoms. I had left my other friend in the club and didn't want to leave her without letting her know what was going on. These people told me they were heading off and would take him back with them, and aged 19/20 I had a moment of not knowing what to do. I couldn't understand how he had got into this state so fast, but I was aware something was wrong. In that moment of me trying to work out what to do, the people had walked off with him. I knew I should have stopped them, but no matter how much I called he was lost until the morning. He didn't seem to think he had been raped, but he woke up scared in the guys apartment. It just goes to show how in moments like that, even when friends are around, it can be easy for a stranger to trick them into being taken. It's why awareness is so important.

 

[heybarkeep]

My old roommate felt iffy about some dude giving her a drink. She was going to toss it, but our male friend thought that would be wasteful.

Would have been alcohol abuse. Kidding. Sorry that happened to your friend. Lucky enough to never be drugged as far as I know. Have blacked out rather early a few times but thankfully nothing bad ever happened.

 

[curvyredhead]

I have no fans.

i am a fan

 

[Bocefish]

How do I stop dwelling on the fact that I'm never able to attend AVN or other adult conventions?

Wisconsin is a relatively short, affordable train ride and Uber to ANYWHERE in the Chicago area for special events. Quit your whining and find a way if it's that important to you.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I live in Wisconsin and I can't drive. Don't have a friend to take me.

I don’t drive either. I always make sure I have the most updated local bus schedules here.

Amtrak has some train stations in Wisconsin. Amtrak is more expensive than the bus companies I’m about to list, however Amtrak will get you to your destination quicker because they don’t do all of that layover crap (where you have to transfer to another bus after sitting in the waiting room for a long time). Warning: They have a “Quiet Car,” where you’re not allowed to talk on the phone or anything. I usually try to avoid the damn Quiet Car and sit somewhere else, in case a situation were to arise where I’d HAVE to take that phone call.

Greyhound also has bus stations in Wisconsin, and is cheaper. They did piss me off a couple times by giving me the wrong gate number, causing me to miss my bus. And they didn’t apologize. Some of their employees tend to have this IDGAF attitude while they’re chewing their gum like Mr. Ed the horse.

Mega Bus is great! The cheapest option also. I’ve seen bus fares as low as $1. I see that Mega Bus has several bus stops in Wisconsin.

As soon as you hear about an adult convention you’re interested in, start saving your money...for your ticket and for public transportation costs.

 

[lil_purrmaiden]

I have thought about it and based on the recent negative experiences that i've heard, I feel no FOMO over not going. I am very sure I will never feel a desire to go to an event. I would'nt worry models are at their best online anyway!

 

[Guy]

I went and attended the Cam


I went the first time to attend the Cam Mansion so it was super exciting and novel. The Expo was actually the less fun portion of that trip. And subsequent trips just felt less and less interesting. I really think you're not missing anything. Don't fret over it.

I guess those pictures on Twitter make those expos look a lot better than they actually are.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I’m attending one right now, the people are well behaved, models, affiliates, companies, industry reps, all of them are amazing and professional.
The swag alone is worth the endeavor

 

[weirdbr]

I guess I should give a different point of view, since so far the vast majority of opinions/experiences were negative. From a member's POV, it can be fun if you plan ahead and have things to do. For example, things I've done this year:
- hung out at the expo with a few model friends (and got hugs from all of them )
- had meals with a a few models and members
- went to a strip club with said members, plus two models joined us later
- went to Natalia Grey's party

This was the third year in a row I've been to AEE; yes, you can get the flu, but so far I only got it once (last year), but you can try to reduce the risk by getting a flu shot and making sure you are in overall good health (including taking vitamins).

Now, with all that said, you have to pay attention (no matter if you are a model or member), since the expo is open to anyone willing to pay for the ticket or get a credential - for example, on the last day of the expo some drunk idiot pushed me out of nowhere (probably looking for a fight) and last year an 'industry professional' had to be expelled from the event after he grabbed a model without her consent in the MFC booth.

For the issue of groping, I don't expect they will end any time soon, but this year was the first in which AEE had a mandatory code of conduct that everyone that had to sign when getting their wristbands/buying a ticket at the door (and even without it, like last year, they took action if required). For MFC models, their booth is always staffed with quite a few security guards and they are ready to act, but I recommend being cautious always (even if you have trusted regulars around as a backup).

 

[Esther_Fae]

I don't drive and live several hours from the airports around me. I still made it to AVN this year. If you really want to go then you will find a way. Use the bus, greyhound, train, plane, ect.