Is it a scam? Or possible? Unlikely?

[gallett]

Ok, i don't even know where to start... but here is the story anyway. So as a client i never used camming sites before - not that i'm against them or anything, just never felt the need as regularly meet women IRL. Anyway, so i was bored away on a business trip away from my most recent partner about 5 months ago, and i found myself viewing a few cam sites at 1am as you do (honestly first time i've ever explored this). Then i saw this women who was/is literally my perfect type - never met in real life. Young early 20s (i'm in my late 30s). Couldn't resist and set up a brief private and a chat. Then asked her if I could see her again on the site and when she would be online, but as chance would have it she was quitting the studio that week - but gave me her contact detail and said we could set up something informally if i ever wanted as she was going to set up her own private camming accounts... so far, obvious alarm bells ringing... didn't think i'd risk off of a site. a few weeks later - i thought stuff it and contacted her anyway. Started with just business chat, but before long flirting became normal chat and now we have spoken (quite literally) around 50 - 500 messages per day, every day for the last 6 months (with at least a couple of normal non-sexual video chats for 2-4 hours per time per week - all off site). We are also intimate sometimes, but its normally her who instigates it and i dont give her money. Since then, she has quit camming, started a new career and we regularly video chat... i dont think ive ever directly paid for a service, but i do get her gifts from time to time, and helped her with her rent for a month when she quit camming (not a big deal for me, rent where she is is relatively cheap and im relatively rich). But she has never asked for a thing. We also share every part of our lives, her boyfriend ups and downs, now ex. Same with my girlfriends / ex-girlfriends, etc. We talk about everything and anything. She talks to me in front of her friends, even her family (her friends and family dont know about her camming background and we always joke we met on a langauge app). Now she says she wants me to travel to the other side of the world to meet in person - or she wants me to help her fly to somewhere else nicer where we can meet. I really care about her now and she says she cares about me - but its all a bit too good to be true.



So my questions are: 1) has anybody heard of this happening before? Im paranoid im living an illusion, i keep thinking i must be being scammed somehow, and yet everything checks out 100% correct. I know her id, her real address, her public and private social media... her private details she shares everything with me. I even used one of my online accounts to store some of her cam payments because she had an issue with payment verification in her country (before she quit the job).

So if there is a scam, i have no idea where it would be when a model gives ME money...

2) what am i missing? This cant happen can it? I can understand clients imagining relationships with models... but does it ever happen the other way around (although again, i only ever paid her once on a site when we first met - all the other times i saw her on a site was only for a few minutes just to play annoy her with a joke or two in her chat room whilst she was working - i would then arrange to meet over sms off site later). Like i said, ive never actually directly paid her for any thing. I just give her gifts from time to time (last time being quite awhile ago)

3) im trying to help remove all the past images/video of her on google - any tips of how to do this now she has finished in the industry?

Any advice from models or clients who know this industry would help a lot... thanks

 

[gallett]

oh yeah, i should add ive been paranoid since day 1 about this... yet i know everything about her life - her real instagram, her real job in media, her real bank accounts? we even share our google location and she gives me passwords when she wants any technical help from me... its almost annoying that everything i try to do to prove to myself that this is a scam fails to prove anything beyond my own paranoia!!!!

 

[gallett]

she even got angry once when i suggested giving her money for an intimate video she sent me.... (she gave me the silent treatment until i promised not to send her any money and promised never to act like a client again) so in a way - i dont mind being scamed by one of the best actresses ive ever met...

 

[gallett]

Finally, of course there is an unequal situation here - im relatively rich and she is relatively poor... so is it any different from a sugardaddy or typical older guy, younger women relationship? Of course i want to treat her... but how can i tell it is real -that she actually cares? Funnily enough, ive been pretty level headed about this the whole time, constantly telling myself if i give her a gift it is because i am happy to pay for this "experience" - she brings me pleasure. It is her who keeps bringing up emotional topics, quizzing me on my female friends and partners in a jealous way, etc...

 

[norcalmd]

There’s so many similar “in love with a cam girl” stories here that read like a playbook of your situation.

 

[gallett]

There’s so many similar “in love with a cam girl” stories here that read like a playbook of your situation.

Yeah - i totally get that.... but thats what im trying to ask - where is the scam??? What am i missing? Are all cam girls (or even ex-cam girls) automatically scamming? Or cant this really exist?

 

[Smoothie]

Ok, i don't even know where to start... but here is the story anyway. So as a client i never used camming sites before - not that i'm against them or anything, just never felt the need as regularly meet women IRL. Anyway, so i was bored away on a business trip away from my most recent partner about 5 months ago, and i found myself viewing a few cam sites at 1am as you do (honestly first time i've ever explored this). Then i saw this women who was/is literally my perfect type - never met in real life. Young early 20s (i'm in my late 30s). Couldn't resist and set up a brief private and a chat. Then asked her if I could see her again on the site and when she would be online, but as chance would have it she was quitting the studio that week - but gave me her contact detail and said we could set up something informally if i ever wanted as she was going to set up her own private camming accounts... so far, obvious alarm bells ringing... didn't think i'd risk off of a site. a few weeks later - i thought stuff it and contacted her anyway. Started with just business chat, but before long flirting became normal chat and now we have spoken (quite literally) around 50 - 500 messages per day, every day for the last 6 months (with at least a couple of normal non-sexual video chats for 2-4 hours per time per week - all off site). We are also intimate sometimes, but its normally her who instigates it and i dont give her money. Since then, she has quit camming, started a new career and we regularly video chat... i dont think ive ever directly paid for a service, but i do get her gifts from time to time, and helped her with her rent for a month when she quit camming (not a big deal for me, rent where she is is relatively cheap and im relatively rich). But she has never asked for a thing. We also share every part of our lives, her boyfriend ups and downs, now ex. Same with my girlfriends / ex-girlfriends, etc. We talk about everything and anything. She talks to me in front of her friends, even her family (her friends and family dont know about her camming background and we always joke we met on a langauge app). Now she says she wants me to travel to the other side of the world to meet in person - or she wants me to help her fly to somewhere else nicer where we can meet. I really care about her now and she says she cares about me - but its all a bit too good to be true.



So my questions are: 1) has anybody heard of this happening before? Im paranoid im living an illusion, i keep thinking i must be being scammed somehow, and yet everything checks out 100% correct. I know her id, her real address, her public and private social media... her private details she shares everything with me. I even used one of my online accounts to store some of her cam payments because she had an issue with payment verification in her country (before she quit the job).

So if there is a scam, i have no idea where it would be when a model gives ME money...

2) what am i missing? This cant happen can it? I can understand clients imagining relationships with models... but does it ever happen the other way around (although again, i only ever paid her once on a site when we first met - all the other times i saw her on a site was only for a few minutes just to play annoy her with a joke or two in her chat room whilst she was working - i would then arrange to meet over sms off site later). Like i said, ive never actually directly paid her for any thing. I just give her gifts from time to time (last time being quite awhile ago)

3) im trying to help remove all the past images/video of her on google - any tips of how to do this now she has finished in the industry?

Any advice from models or clients who know this industry would help a lot... thanks

For starters, you yalk as though you can’t tell what she’d be getting out of this arrangement, but then you also listed some very specific benefits she’s gotten from you.

I don’t know you or this woman, so I can’t comment on anyone’s intentions. But based solely on what you wrote, you’re doing plenty for her. For some people, that would be more than enough to continue stringing you along.

 

[gallett]

For starters, you yalk as though you can’t tell what she’d be getting out of this arrangement, but then you also listed some very specific benefits she’s gotten from you.

I don’t know you or this woman, so I can’t comment on anyone’s intentions. But based solely on what you wrote, you’re doing plenty for her. For some people, that would be more than enough to continue stringing you along.

Sure, i can see that i've helped her a little bit here and there. But it's certainly a lot less than i've spent on dates, girlfriends, etc... so it doesn't bother me. I'm happy to pay for this "experience" problem is she keeps trying to turn it emotional. My question is whats the difference between this and the normal dating world sometimes. Moreover, is there some big scam i am missing? How could i prove it? Before i do something stupid and set up a holiday to meet this girl sometime in the future.

 

[Maxi]

The only person who can tell you if it’s a scam or not is the person supposedly scamming you.

You can reason it is due to any red flags you’ve seen, but all we can do on this forum is point you towards other threads of members who have come on here will similar stories as yours.

If you want to be this model’s sugar daddy - go for it! If you want to meet her - I don’t know, go for it! Only you can make these decisions yourself.

 

[gallett]

The only person who can tell you if it’s a scam or not is the person supposedly scamming you.

You can reason it is due to any red flags you’ve seen, but all we can do on this forum is point you towards other threads of members who have come on here will similar stories as yours.

If you want to be this model’s sugar daddy - go for it! If you want to meet her - I don’t know, go for it! Only you can make these decisions yourself.

Thanks for the reply... i think my main question is whether anybody has ever heard of a happy ending in these situations, rather than all the scams out there and other stories. Of course, nobody can help me with my specific issue - but im trying to look for red flags, etc. All other stories seem to take place "on-site" so to speak. I was hoping i could find a similar story "off site" or indeed if any models have ever heard of something legit happening with a nice ending.

 

[Maxi]

Thanks for the reply... i think my main question is whether anybody has ever heard of a happy ending in these situations, rather than all the scams out there and other stories. Of course, nobody can help me with my specific issue - but im trying to look for red flags, etc. All other stories seem to take place "on-site" so to speak. I was hoping i could find a similar story "off site" or indeed if any models have ever heard of something legit happening with a nice ending.

There have certainly been forum members who have spoken about members and models ending in a relationship but as I gather, it’s not very common.

Have a read through the forum and see what you can find. There’s a wealth of information here for you.

 

[Vixxen81]

I've been a model for 10 years. I know of only one success story regarding a model hooking up with someone and that someone was also a model. They've lived together for the past 7 years.

Most models are only willing to see viewers at conventions but you said she quit camming but either I missed it or you didn't say what she does to support herself now.

That said, for all you know, she's got 20 guys like you on the line.

If you want to spend the money, do it. Heartbreak is a part of life. As long as you accept that risk, it's no one's business but yours.

 

[Wuggie]

Thanks for the reply... i think my main question is whether anybody has ever heard of a happy ending in these situations, rather than all the scams out there and other stories. Of course, nobody can help me with my specific issue - but im trying to look for red flags, etc. All other stories seem to take place "on-site" so to speak. I was hoping i could find a similar story "off site" or indeed if any models have ever heard of something legit happening with a nice ending.

Have heard of the story with a happy ending, and lived the story with a "Happy ending" or well we split up after almost 8 years, but I will count it as okay as okay as meeting anyone anywhere else, and even I can't tell you when it's real or not, it was a gut feeling back then and looking at our history online before even considering meeting up.

It's such a rough decision and one that you should never take lightly imo, if you are feeling happy with how your arrangement is with this girl for now, I would keep it at that myself, the fact you felt like you had to come and ask about it here, tells me that you are NOT in the place where this would have a happy ending somewhat, if I ever had to ask anyone else "hey is this real" I would probably consider it not real.. But that's again, just my way of looking at it.. (IF you ever go see someone from these sites, please for the love of god always tell someone exactly who it is you are going to meet! I know this isn't always the easiest, but do it anyways!)

 

[gallett]

I've been a model for 10 years. I know of only one success story regarding a model hooking up with someone and that someone was also a model. They've lived together for the past 7 years.

Most models are only willing to see viewers at conventions but you said she quit camming but either I missed it or you didn't say what she does to support herself now.

That said, for all you know, she's got 20 guys like you on the line.

If you want to spend the money, do it. Heartbreak is a part of life. As long as you accept that risk, it's no one's business but yours.

She works a pretty normal job now (hence why i'm trying to help her cover up her past on google searches as best i can - but struggling there) - i am 110% confident on this (i see her on official company promotions). Funnily enough, one of the things she keeps saying to me is that im in a unique position as i was never really a website client (only met her there once when we first met) but equally, im the only person in her current life who knows her past, accepts it and never ever judges her for it (why would I).

She openly said she had at least 6-7 other guys outside of websites who she provided services to through whatsapp, etc. But she claims they all kept the legit client/model relationship and abandoned her when she went through a rough personal patch a few months ago and couldnt provide a service (i stuck with her throughout this purely as a friend). I saw this all happen in real time - one guy even verbally abused her online when he found out i had her real address because he was upset she hadn't given it to him... ive always been there as somebody to bounce things off as i said, i wasn't interested in a service... it all developed weirdly naturally along non-client lines... which makes me question where the scam is.

But you are absolutely right - i have no way of knowing for sure... i guess my paranoia is well founded. Seems like it would be very odd for me to be that one exception to the rule it seems. Thanks anyway.

 

[Vixxen81]

She works a pretty normal job now (hence why i'm trying to help her cover up her past on google searches as best i can - but struggling there) - i am 110% confident on this (i see her on official company promotions). Funnily enough, one of the things she keeps saying to me is that im in a unique position as i was never really a website client (only met her there once when we first met) but equally, im the only person in her current life who knows her past, accepts it and never ever judges her for it (why would I).

She openly said she had at least 6-7 other guys outside of websites who she provided services to through whatsapp, etc. But she claims they all kept the legit client/model relationship and abandoned her when she went through a rough personal patch a few months ago and couldnt provide a service (i stuck with her throughout this purely as a friend). I saw this all happen in real time - one guy even verbally abused her online when he found out i had her real address because he was upset she hadn't given it to him... ive always been there as somebody to bounce things off as i said, i wasn't interested in a service... it all developed weirdly naturally along non-client lines... which makes me question where the scam is.

But you are absolutely right - i have no way of knowing for sure... i guess my paranoia is well founded. Seems like it would be very odd for me to be that one exception to the rule it seems. Thanks anyway.

Well I guess you could buy her a plane ticket and if she boards it's a good sign things are fine. If she doesn't? There's your answer.

 

[EasternPromis]

Relationships between members and cam girls can happens and I’ve witnessed it myself with several girls from my studio where I started back in a day. Generally most telling thing is age gap, couples that were created and got married and still together were about same age.

I don’t think this girl is using you to get just cash out of you.
However if she’s from poor country she might have desire to move abroad and get a husband who will take care of her. Nothing wrong with it.
This is why she would deny money and not be demanding to show “she’s not like That”.

Here you need to figure out how far do you want this to go. Remain online only?
Meet up? You do understand you will need to pay for traveling and what not?
Do you want to just experience sex with her?

Are you the type to marry? If you’re in late 30s and haven’t been married, are you willing to?
Because when you meet, and she’s of course on her best behavior, things go smoothly… what’s next? You will pay for trips to see her however much time off you have in a year (4-6 weeks/year)? In order to have her with you permanently you will have to get married and apply for fiancée/spouse visa and this stuff takes long time and is expensive and pain in the ass. Are you ready for it?


Do you understand and okay with intellectual and life experiences gap because of age difference?
Do you understand you’d need to decide to get engaged or married without living with the person first?

 

[gallett]

Have heard of the story with a happy ending, and lived the story with a "Happy ending" or well we split up after almost 8 years, but I will count it as okay as okay as meeting anyone anywhere else, and even I can't tell you when it's real or not, it was a gut feeling back then and looking at our history online before even considering meeting up.

It's such a rough decision and one that you should never take lightly imo, if you are feeling happy with how your arrangement is with this girl for now, I would keep it at that myself, the fact you felt like you had to come and ask about it here, tells me that you are NOT in the place where this would have a happy ending somewhat, if I ever had to ask anyone else "hey is this real" I would probably consider it not real.. But that's again, just my way of looking at it.. (IF you ever go see someone from these sites, please for the love of god always tell someone exactly who it is you are going to meet! I know this isn't always the easiest, but do it anyways!)

Thanks for the reply... actually i came to a random forum for the first time ever purely because i have no idea where else to explain this and i wanted to get it off my chest... its not exactly something im going to openly ask about as the instant natural reaction would be - it must be a scam... !!! Hence i wanted to find out if it ever does happen for real. My gut actually tells me it is legit... purely because everything checks out, every single time and im a naturally paranoid person...(i was the one telling her to be careful as she comes off as a little naive at times) but just because my gut says this doesnt make it real. So i'll probably play it safe and keep it as it is. Having said that, meeting up in a third country has a certain appeal...

 

[Wuggie]

Thanks for the reply... actually i came to a random forum for the first time ever purely because i have no idea where else to explain this and i wanted to get it off my chest... its not exactly something im going to openly ask about as the instant natural reaction would be - it must be a scam... !!! Hence i wanted to find out if it ever does happen for real. My gut actually tells me it is legit... purely because everything checks out, every single time and im a naturally paranoid person...(i was the one telling her to be careful as she comes off as a little naive at times) but just because my gut says this doesnt make it real. So i'll probably play it safe and keep it as it is. Having said that, meeting up in a third country has a certain appeal...

Yea I can understand that, I would always go with meeting up at a neutral ground for sure if you ever go for it... but it DOES happen that it's real.. It just happens very often that it's not real, if it's something you would feel happy with, I do hope for you it's real though

 

[EasternPromis]

Having said that, meeting up in a third country has a certain appeal...

Absolutely. Vacation with a hot early 20s girl, who is not too financially demanding. Why would you bother to go to shit hole she’s living in?
To get to know her culture, meet friends or reassure family you not an old creep? Phew who needs to waste precious pto on this.


OP is looking for reassurance that it’s safe to try to get laid with the girl from abroad. Case is closed

 

[Vixxen81]

Absolutely. Vacation with a hot early 20s girl, who is not too financially demanding. Why would you bother to go to shit hole she’s living in?
To get to know her culture, meet friends or reassure family you not an old creep? Phew who needs to waste precious pto on this.


OP is looking for reassurance that it’s safe to try to get laid with the girl from abroad. Case is closed

And there you have it.

 

[gallett]

Absolutely. Vacation with a hot early 20s girl, who is not too financially demanding. Why would you bother to go to shit hole she’s living in?
To get to know her culture, meet friends or reassure family you not an old creep? Phew who needs to waste precious pto on this.


OP is looking for reassurance that it’s safe to try to get laid with the girl from abroad. Case is closed

Thats not what i meant at all. Im sorry you took it that way. I meant meeting in a third country has the appeal of not having to worry about scams... please dont make assumptions about somebody you dont know... you talk as if i havent done everything possible to treat this women in the most equal way possible and alleviate every fear she might have - i have. If i just wanted to get laid with a hot 20 something id just continue dating or even pay for a service (not that i would do that - again nothing wrong with it, just not my style), both would be much cheaper in time and effort. So getting back to the main topic, and answering your previous post with less assumptions, yes, i have been married, no commitment is not an issue, yes knowing if something is legit before i make that commitment is the very difficulty i am trying to work out here. So how does a guy find out without either 1) putting themselves at potential risk or 2) making the women feel at risk... i would actually go to her country, im a very well travelled man. But i dont wanr to put my life on hold if i dont at least stand some chance of finding a legitimate situation. Hence the original question - does this ever happen in a legitimate way?

 

[Lilly_____]

. Hence the original question - does this ever happen in a legitimate way?

This was already answered multiple times, but the answers are more sophisticated than yes or no because there are so many layers to this. So I feel like you don't really want that particular answer, you want to hear that it's legit and it will turn out the way you wanted.

But if all really comes down to that question, here's the answer you're looking for, in a world with so many possibilities: Yes.

 

[HeadyRaven]

Finally, of course there is an unequal situation here - im relatively rich and she is relatively poor... so is it any different from a sugardaddy or typical older guy, younger women relationship? Of course i want to treat her... but how can i tell it is real -that she actually cares? Funnily enough, ive been pretty level headed about this the whole time, constantly telling myself if i give her a gift it is because i am happy to pay for this "experience" - she brings me pleasure. It is her who keeps bringing up emotional topics, quizzing me on my female friends and partners in a jealous way, etc...

In less than a year on a couple of sites, I've experienced two situations or "offers" similar to this. Some of the details of the situations were a little different, but they have enough in common with what you are describing that I can comment. Also I've picked up a lot from conversations with a few models I've gotten close with.

Finally, of course there is an unequal situation here - im relatively rich and she is relatively poor... so is it any different from a sugardaddy or typical older guy, younger women relationship?

At this point, there is no reason to think it's any different. You don't think her circumstances - and desire to improve them - are a factor? The bigger question is: Do you care if it's "only" a sugardaddy situation? If no, you have a lot less to worry about. If yes, you need to be very careful and I suggest planning for a possible future shock or disappointment.

how can i tell it is real -that she actually cares?

Tell her that you took a big gamble on an investment and unfortuntately, it went down the tubes and you're broke. Tell her you know you'll recover but it's going to take a year or two for you to dig yourself out of the hole. (and in the meantime, you can't send any gifts or money). You'll know in a couple of months or less whether she actually cares. And if she starts sending you money to help you out, you might just be that one in a thousand case.

It is her who keeps bringing up emotional topics, quizzing me on my female friends and partners in a jealous way, etc...

I'm not sure if you are saying this out of naivete (you mentioned being new to cam sites) but this is all very standard, especially in certain regions and if she came out of a studio cam model background. No one can say for sure if this woman is sincere or not, but there are some incredibly skilled manipulators and they can be three steps ahead of you in the emotional chess game - if they are playing you. The only thing you can do is decide what kind of risk you want to take. As said, if the aim is a sugar daddy situation and you won't care if it turns out that she has (or will have) arrangements with other guys, that will be a lot less painful than if you are fully expecting true love and a future.


Last thing is: You described yourself as rich, and not having any problems finding women in real life. So why are you pursuing a situation with so many unknowns, risks and built-in obstacles? Are there no perfect or near-perfect women in your area or at least in your country? What don't we know about this picture?

I don't think anyone can give a 100% accurate prediction but you are seeing words of caution for a reason - especially if you think you found your future life partner. But if you are only looking for a fling, well, just take normal precautions.

 

[gallett]

This was already answered multiple times, but the answers are more sophisticated than yes or no because there are so many layers to this. So I feel like you don't really want that particular answer, you want to hear that it's legit and it will turn out the way you wanted.

But if all really comes down to that question, here's the answer you're looking for, in a world with so many possibilities: Yes.

I actually wasnt asking the question again... as you say, others have already answered. That was more of a response to the assumptions made by the poster who i was replying to... im aware it is not a yes or no question. I am aware it is not straightforward and my only wish here was to hear some different experiences on this issue. However, thank you for the thought anyway - i'll take your well intended "yes"

 

[EasternPromis]

1) putting themselves at potential risk or 2) making the women feel at risk... i would actually go to her country, im a very well travelled man. But i dont wanr to put my life on hold if i dont at least stand some chance of finding a legitimate situation. Hence the original question - does this ever happen in a legitimate way?

It does happen. I know several couples that met on camming sites, but as I stated before couples were in mid-late 20s with little or no age gap, and one couple I know is in their 50s but also little age gap. Because relationships of people from different cultures, backgrounds, different language is already challenging… add to it age gap and financial power imbalance is making relationships very, very difficult and almost not sustainable long term.

Would your local early 20s hot girls hang out with you? Be honest with yourself, realistically, without expectation of any financial support? What do You have in common with a college kids? (and depending how early is her 20s… she might be just few years out of high school).

In this stories It always baffles me how old dudes acting like victims. As if they so innocent, pure souls having their hearts broken by cruel 20 year olds lol When in reality you are prey on someone way younger and poorer and only worried if it’s gonna kick you in the ass eventually.

And If you’ve been married, do you have any children? Is the girl aware you have children and ex wife?

What do you think you can be risking really?
Just book yourself a hotel room in reputable place in downtown, meet her in public place, don’t rush things, use condom if sex happens, let trusted friends know where you going and let them see your location at all times. Just regular precautions when meeting new person or online dating precautions.

 

[gallett]

Absolutely. Vacation with a hot early 20s girl, who is not too financially demanding. Why would you bother to go to shit hole she’s living in?
To get to know her culture, meet friends or reassure family you not an old creep? Phew who needs to waste precious pto on this.


OP is looking for reassurance that it’s safe to try to get laid with the girl from abroad. Case is closed

Btw, there are so many loaded assumptions in this post i'm sorry that your experience has taught you to assume so many guys will be like this... you know im even learning and rapidly becoming fluent in her native language... some of us guys do really actually care for the cultures of others we care about... thank you for your previous, well thought out response.

 

[EasternPromis]

Btw, there are so many loaded assumptions in this post i'm sorry that your experience has taught you to assume so many guys will be like this... you know im even learning and rapidly becoming fluent in her native language... some of us guys do really actually care for the cultures of others we care about... thank you for your previous, well thought out response.

Not necessarily my experiences rather my observations. I started camming in studio back in 2013, so I got to know many girls and made friendships, we keep tabs on each other so I can see how some life stories developed within 10 years.

I’m Ukrainian married to American btw, so I know all about family of people from different cultures.

 

[gallett]

Last thing is: You described yourself as rich, and not having any problems finding women in real life. So why are you pursuing a situation with so many unknowns, risks and built-in obstacles? Are there no perfect or near-perfect women in your area or at least in your country? What don't we know about this picture?

Oh this is quite simple, i was actually in a relationship when i met this women (it was a long business trip as i explained in the original post) - point is none of this was planned. I didnt expect to meet somebody and slowly end up talking to them every single day, for hours at a time... building up a friendship over time... call me romantic but this is about meeting somebody who i genuinely care about. I never said i stopped dating locally - i still do, as does the women who is the subject of the post. We are completely 100% open about this. I am considering whether to take this to the next level and weighing up risks and difficulties - hence the post on a random forum

 

[HeadyRaven]

So how does a guy find out

If you feel it is legit (and it seems you do, if you are already studying her language), the only way to find out for sure is to proceed. Just mitigate your risks as much as possible. Others here could give a better guess on the odds that a circumstance like this will end with you and the woman living happily ever after in a few years, but even if the odds are not high, it doesn't mean that these things don't sometimes work out.

But it seems to me that at some level, you have some doubts. (If you didn't, why would you ask?) The fact that you have those doubts, it's good. Remember those doubts when you are making decisions. Don't let the little brain make all the decisions for the big brain.

 

[HeadyRaven]

Last thing is: You described yourself as rich, and not having any problems finding women in real life. So why are you pursuing a situation with so many unknowns, risks and built-in obstacles? Are there no perfect or near-perfect women in your area or at least in your country? What don't we know about this picture?

I never said i stopped dating locally - i still do, as does the women who is the subject of the post. We are completely 100% open about this. I am considering whether to take this to the next level and weighing up risks and difficulties - hence the post on a random forum

I had just posted something else to you, but I view this as a good sign, as it suggests you haven't gone totally off the deep end, where you will convince yourself of anything. I just say from experience that in such a circumstance, you have to be realistic and cautious, even if you move forward with whatever the next level is.