Is This A Scam?

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

So... this may be a weird one, but I was on a cam site and met a girl. Attractive, funny etc. Tipped her and I don't know how things escalated but after a week she wanted me to come to her country to meet her (we had exchanged pictures and video chatted a few times). I know it's crazy but I booked a flight because it wasn't too expensive and I was just curious enough to see if this was "for real" and didn't mind losing the airfare money if she cancelled at the last minute.

Time went by and she actually started doing a countdown of the day I would arrive and I would see that some of her "regulars" were discussing the guy that was going to visit her. Each day, I expected her to come up with some lame excuse as to why I couldn't come, so I was prepared for it, but the excuses never came other than she was afraid that I wouldn't think she was pretty in person.

The day arrived and I was SURE she was going to cancel on me as I made the long flight (about 7 hours). Got to the airport in a different country where I didn't speak the language and got held up in customs. I texted her and she said she was there but had to go home really quick because she had forgotten something. When I got out of customs, she wasn't there and a few texts went unanswered. At that point, I was sure that this was a bust.... but about 20 minutes later she texted me, asked me where I was and told me she would be there soon.

Then... I finally met her in person! She was beautiful!

We spent the next week together seeing all of the interesting things near her home. We stayed together in my hotel and basically were a married couple on vacation. It was such a great experience that it was difficult for me to board my flight back home. She cried because she didn't want me to leave too.

Now to my question:

While she was with me I bought her some things and spent maybe $500 on her (not including dinners and other things that we did together). Most of it was clothing for the places that we went as well as makeup she wanted. and was my idea. It didn't bother me to spend the money as I could afford it easily and was stuff needed for things that both of us wanted to do. However, since I've been home she hasn't been on the cam site much and because of it has asked me for some money. I've given it to her, but it seems to be getting to be a regular thing and that's not something I'm prepared for or want.

She wants to stop camming and tells me she loves me (I even met her parents & family when I was there and went to her home and theirs and I have all of the addresses). I just wonder at what point should I say enough to the money?

Further info is: She wants me to come back to see her and I plan to do it again soon because I had such a wonderful time and I really enjoyed her company and the sex was amazing.

It just concerns me that she now expects me to support her as if we are a married couple. Is this something other people have experienced? At what point do you cut the money off to see if the relationship by itself is real? As of today, I've sent her less than the $500 I spent on her while I was with her, but I'm looking for a relationship, not changing my initials to ATM! Yeah, it's kind of chump change right now, but I'm wary that the amounts will only increase.

Anyways... if you got this far, thanks for reading. Maybe I've found the unicorn, or maybe I'm just in a slow scam. I'd appreciate some other opinions on this.

 

[RVN]

I'm assuming we are talking about Colombia here.

Similar thing happened to me although the meet up never happened. Mainly because my credit card wouldn't work on the Avianca website. Being from Europe a flight to that particular country is a lot more expensive.

I've sent money, a fair bit. I can afford it but it's more than I'm comfortable with to be honest. You're early on in this, my advice is to stop sending money now and see what happens.

She spoke to me about giving up camming. I could see she hated it and because of this she wasn't making any money. I offered to send her $500 a month if she stopped but she decided to carry on another month. I spent so much on tokens that final month that when she quit I told her I could no longer afford to send that money every month.

This was months ago now, she's quit camming and started a business. We still talk to each other regularly but I've told her now that the money has to stop.

She still wants to meet up. Anyway it's a long winded reply but to answer your question I think that it's just that Colombianas expect men who they are in a relationship with to look after them financially and spoil them.

Best of luck

 

[MiaSarah]

Oh honey. Did you get the tattoo yet?

 

[Wuggie]

I don't know if I would call it a direct scam, seeing as you actually did meet up with her and so.. but it's definetly something you should adress quickly with her! that you can't just keep sending money like that..

I have met up with a few girls, only ONE I ended up sleeping with, others we just went out for drinks and dinner etc and continued as friends.. the one I slept with we were in a relationship for a bit over 7 years.. BUT not once, have I send them money afterwards, some I have visited on the sites after and tipped still or gone to private with, just like I would before.. but other than that, no money sent! and I believe you HAVE to be firm on this... if she really do care about you, she will understand this and it won't be a proble, if she does not understand, bullet dodged and you had a great week..

at least in my opinion..

 

[Maxi]

I’m struggling to accept this one. It’s seems a little too ‘cliché’.

Maybe I’m just a bit too cynical in my 40s.

Anyhoo…

 

[yummybrownfox]

So... this may be a weird one, but I was on a cam site and met a girl. Attractive, funny etc. Tipped her and I don't know how things escalated but after a week she wanted me to come to her country to meet her (we had exchanged pictures and video chatted a few times). I know it's crazy but I booked a flight because it wasn't too expensive and I was just curious enough to see if this was "for real" and didn't mind losing the airfare money if she cancelled at the last minute.

Time went by and she actually started doing a countdown of the day I would arrive and I would see that some of her "regulars" were discussing the guy that was going to visit her. Each day, I expected her to come up with some lame excuse as to why I couldn't come, so I was prepared for it, but the excuses never came other than she was afraid that I wouldn't think she was pretty in person.

The day arrived and I was SURE she was going to cancel on me as I made the long flight (about 7 hours). Got to the airport in a different country where I didn't speak the language and got held up in customs. I texted her and she said she was there but had to go home really quick because she had forgotten something. When I got out of customs, she wasn't there and a few texts went unanswered. At that point, I was sure that this was a bust.... but about 20 minutes later she texted me, asked me where I was and told me she would be there soon.

Then... I finally met her in person! She was beautiful!

We spent the next week together seeing all of the interesting things near her home. We stayed together in my hotel and basically were a married couple on vacation. It was such a great experience that it was difficult for me to board my flight back home. She cried because she didn't want me to leave too.

Now to my question:

While she was with me I bought her some things and spent maybe $500 on her (not including dinners and other things that we did together). Most of it was clothing for the places that we went as well as makeup she wanted. and was my idea. It didn't bother me to spend the money as I could afford it easily and was stuff needed for things that both of us wanted to do. However, since I've been home she hasn't been on the cam site much and because of it has asked me for some money. I've given it to her, but it seems to be getting to be a regular thing and that's not something I'm prepared for or want.

She wants to stop camming and tells me she loves me (I even met her parents & family when I was there and went to her home and theirs and I have all of the addresses). I just wonder at what point should I say enough to the money?

Further info is: She wants me to come back to see her and I plan to do it again soon because I had such a wonderful time and I really enjoyed her company and the sex was amazing.

It just concerns me that she now expects me to support her as if we are a married couple. Is this something other people have experienced? At what point do you cut the money off to see if the relationship by itself is real? As of today, I've sent her less than the $500 I spent on her while I was with her, but I'm looking for a relationship, not changing my initials to ATM! Yeah, it's kind of chump change right now, but I'm wary that the amounts will only increase.

Anyways... if you got this far, thanks for reading. Maybe I've found the unicorn, or maybe I'm just in a slow scam. I'd appreciate some other opinions on this.

Even if it is legit, I find it a bit concerning that other people in the public chat were aware of the fact that you two had plans to meet up, and that it became the topic of conversation among these other dudes. I really don't think it's wise for a cam model to speak so openly in the public chat about her plans to meet up with a member. That's a conversation that you two should have had privately. Otherwise it just opens the door for any 'ole Tom, Dick, and Harry in her chatroom to start grilling her (and grilling you) with a bunch of nosey questions, and asking how they get a "date" or a "hookup" with her too. Is that really what she wants for her room?

 

[deltaepsilon]

I’m struggling to accept this one. It’s seems a little too ‘cliché’.

Maybe I’m just a bit too cynical in my 40s.

Anyhoo…

Sorry to go off topic, but same age range prob older, I'm sure you know after 40 more than 50% of you life is over. Around 70 most bodily functions start winding down, brain degeneration usually kicks in around 80, each year you live now is like dogs years (you age 7 psychologically and emotionally, ) Gravity is one of the strongest forces in nature it can even bend light speed! The downhill ride is always more fun at least that is what I was told in theme parks.
What the hell am I doing writing this shit, maybe getting inspired by the OP!

 

[misterical]

Holy smokes. This is a twist on the normal shit.

 

[nancy_58]

So... this may be a weird one, but I was on a cam site and met a girl. Attractive, funny etc. Tipped her and I don't know how things escalated but after a week she wanted me to come to her country to meet her (we had exchanged pictures and video chatted a few times). I know it's crazy but I booked a flight because it wasn't too expensive and I was just curious enough to see if this was "for real" and didn't mind losing the airfare money if she cancelled at the last minute.

Time went by and she actually started doing a countdown of the day I would arrive and I would see that some of her "regulars" were discussing the guy that was going to visit her. Each day, I expected her to come up with some lame excuse as to why I couldn't come, so I was prepared for it, but the excuses never came other than she was afraid that I wouldn't think she was pretty in person.

The day arrived and I was SURE she was going to cancel on me as I made the long flight (about 7 hours). Got to the airport in a different country where I didn't speak the language and got held up in customs. I texted her and she said she was there but had to go home really quick because she had forgotten something. When I got out of customs, she wasn't there and a few texts went unanswered. At that point, I was sure that this was a bust.... but about 20 minutes later she texted me, asked me where I was and told me she would be there soon.

Then... I finally met her in person! She was beautiful!

We spent the next week together seeing all of the interesting things near her home. We stayed together in my hotel and basically were a married couple on vacation. It was such a great experience that it was difficult for me to board my flight back home. She cried because she didn't want me to leave too.

Now to my question:

While she was with me I bought her some things and spent maybe $500 on her (not including dinners and other things that we did together). Most of it was clothing for the places that we went as well as makeup she wanted. and was my idea. It didn't bother me to spend the money as I could afford it easily and was stuff needed for things that both of us wanted to do. However, since I've been home she hasn't been on the cam site much and because of it has asked me for some money. I've given it to her, but it seems to be getting to be a regular thing and that's not something I'm prepared for or want.

She wants to stop camming and tells me she loves me (I even met her parents & family when I was there and went to her home and theirs and I have all of the addresses). I just wonder at what point should I say enough to the money?

Further info is: She wants me to come back to see her and I plan to do it again soon because I had such a wonderful time and I really enjoyed her company and the sex was amazing.

It just concerns me that she now expects me to support her as if we are a married couple. Is this something other people have experienced? At what point do you cut the money off to see if the relationship by itself is real? As of today, I've sent her less than the $500 I spent on her while I was with her, but I'm looking for a relationship, not changing my initials to ATM! Yeah, it's kind of chump change right now, but I'm wary that the amounts will only increase.

Anyways... if you got this far, thanks for reading. Maybe I've found the unicorn, or maybe I'm just in a slow scam. I'd appreciate some other opinions on this.

Hello. This behavior of users makes the models not work and you do not realize that they are looking for money. As an experience from the study, it is a problem for the industry, they make us ban the accounts due to personal data, plus the girls have husbands, partners and the user ends up paying the expenses for everything. I met some that when users come to visit them, they take the couple out of the house to receive the user.

 

[Maxi]

Sorry to go off topic, but same age range prob older, I'm sure you know after 40 more than 50% of you life is over. Around 70 most bodily functions start winding down, brain degeneration usually kicks in around 80, each year you live now is like dogs years (you age 7 psychologically and emotionally, ) Gravity is one of the strongest forces in nature it can even bend light speed! The downhill ride is always more fun at least that is what I was told in theme parks.
What the hell am I doing writing this shit, maybe getting inspired by the OP!

It’s fine. I’ve got a glass of half-decent white wine in my hand and I’m thinking about putting some cantina-style band music? Not sure.

Thanks though!

 

[mika_kedi]

Yes, it's a scam. You are scamming her by stringing her along with your money when you don't plan to continue to support her financially but still want companionship and sex from her.

 

[EasternPromis]

Most of it was clothing for the places that we went as well as makeup she wanted. and was my idea.

“Honey, I think your under eye circles will look 50/50 in the restaurant I’m taking you to! How about we go to Sephora to get some concealer?”

Seriously tho, did you establish that you’re bf/gf and exclusive?
In some cultures it’s common expectation for man to support or pamper his gf/wife, and if you’re from “rich” country this is even more expected. I think you need to have conversation about both your expectations ASAP.


I hope she doesn’t turn up pregnant or something, because she’s moving fast like high speed train.

 

[rockin_rod]

Here we go again down another rabbit hole.........

 

[misterical]

Here we go again down another rabbit hole.........

This is a rabbit hole with a difference though. Strap in. It's going to be a wild ride.

 

[Makko]

I'm surprised she talked so openly about it. They both could have been banned from the site!

 

[MarieElise]

I don't know what advice to give, I really don't. I think you should go on as is. It seems that's an expectation in your relationship ie that you pay for a lot of things.
I don't see the big deal with that, but if you suddenly need to change things up because you need something else, or feel insecure, then you need to communicate that directly w her.
Not a bunch of strangers on the internet

Lol who are these cam models who do this stuff?
These must be new girls, who are not super serious about it.
I think you'll find long term professional cam models don't use the sites to do this kind of stuff
and it can be kind of annoying to us, that others do, because it sets up some very unrealistic expectation... sigh.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I’m struggling to accept this one. It’s seems a little too ‘cliché’.

Maybe I’m just a bit too cynical in my 40s.

Anyhoo…

I'm with you, and I'm 41. The older I get, the more annoyed I get with people wasting my time.

We are way too naive when we're in our teens and 20s. We get wiser as we grow older and go through shit (work shit, financial shit, relationship shit, family shit, etc.), and we want to live a peaceful life. My time is too precious to be having somebody waste it with bullshit games.

 

[Maxi]

I'm with you, and I'm 41. The older I get, the more annoyed I get with people wasting my time.

We are way too naive when we're in our teens and 20s. We get wiser as we grow older and go through shit (work shit, financial shit, relationship shit, family shit, etc.), and we want to live a peaceful life. My time is too precious to be having somebody waste it with bullshit games.

I wish I could go back and give myself this advice…

 

[AudriTwo]

if you are truly looking for a relationship- the chances of finding it on a camsite are rare. so if nothing comes of this, don't take it personally or take it out on her.

you two need to have a grown-up conversation about both of your expectations of whatever relationship you two have or want to. the way you are spending, she could think this is a sugar daddy situation. what country is she from? is it a country where $500 is life-changing money? she could not shut up about OP flying out to her with her chat. talking about meeting up with members is such a bannable offense. she could be ignorant on the rules. im speculating here but she could very well believe that you are going to support her like a boyfriend/spouse will. like mentioned above, it could very well be her culture.

if you are enjoying spending your "chump change" ( ) on her and receiving all that attention she gives you, what's the problem exactly? it seems like your idea to go shopping. people in committed relationships in general are usually going to spend money on their partner. even more when you marry them. my husband would take me to art museums every weekend and regularly buy me swarovski necklaces in the beginning. when we moved in together, that became less. now i get an art book and a swarovski necklace for christmas or an anniversary. we have a lot more pricier expenses and priorities than when we first got together like saving for retirement or property taxes. our relationship with him gift giving has evolved.

anywho what im getting at is i would be pretty hurt if my boyfriend decided to stop sharing what i thought was his love language in the beginning. im not one to want gifts, but it made me feel really special and loved. i'd think our relationship was doomed and be pissed if i found it was a test to see if our relationship is real. hell, i see that as a breakable/relationship-ending offense instead of talking to me.

i just think its weird to use your money to get a woman's attraction/attention and then want to take it away. have that hard conversation about each other's fears and expectations in whatever relationship you two have. im also pretty concerned you maybe using your money exploitatively. and she could very well be doing the same. idk i only heard your side. if you dont want to give her money so she doesn't cam, you need to communicate that. you can say no. creating boundaries and communicating them is fundamental in a relationship.

 

[inertvolcano]

You flew to her country. You met her family. You went to her home. She slept with you. You bought her gifts and lifted her hopes up.

And you're here, asking if this is a SCAM?

This poor woman. Jesus Christ.

 

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

I'm assuming we are talking about Colombia here.

Similar thing happened to me although the meet up never happened. Mainly because my credit card wouldn't work on the Avianca website. Being from Europe a flight to that particular country is a lot more expensive.

I've sent money, a fair bit. I can afford it but it's more than I'm comfortable with to be honest. You're early on in this, my advice is to stop sending money now and see what happens.

She spoke to me about giving up camming. I could see she hated it and because of this she wasn't making any money. I offered to send her $500 a month if she stopped but she decided to carry on another month. I spent so much on tokens that final month that when she quit I told her I could no longer afford to send that money every month.

This was months ago now, she's quit camming and started a business. We still talk to each other regularly but I've told her now that the money has to stop.

She still wants to meet up. Anyway it's a long winded reply but to answer your question I think that it's just that Colombianas expect men who they are in a relationship with to look after them financially and spoil them.

Best of luck

I appreciate the insight. I have already let her know that I won't be sending more money, and nothing seems to have changed. I'll be booking another flight this week while they are still very cheap. She is insistent that I come see her again, so once again I'll make the trek. It's a nice little vacation and I find her country very appealing.

Good luck with your situation, I hope that it works out for you!

 

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

You flew to her country. You met her family. You went to her home. She slept with you. You bought her gifts and lifted her hopes up.

And you're here, asking if this is a SCAM?

This poor woman. Jesus Christ.

Well... When you put it like that! lol

I guess I've just never had someone ask me for money like this on a continual basis other than my children!

 

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

if you are truly looking for a relationship- the chances of finding it on a camsite are rare. so if nothing comes of this, don't take it personally or take it out on her.

you two need to have a grown-up conversation about both of your expectations of whatever relationship you two have or want to. the way you are spending, she could think this is a sugar daddy situation. what country is she from? is it a country where $500 is life-changing money? she could not shut up about OP flying out to her with her chat. talking about meeting up with members is such a bannable offense. she could be ignorant on the rules. im speculating here but she could very well believe that you are going to support her like a boyfriend/spouse will. like mentioned above, it could very well be her culture.

if you are enjoying spending your "chump change" ( ) on her and receiving all that attention she gives you, what's the problem exactly? it seems like your idea to go shopping. people in committed relationships in general are usually going to spend money on their partner. even more when you marry them. my husband would take me to art museums every weekend and regularly buy me swarovski necklaces in the beginning. when we moved in together, that became less. now i get an art book and a swarovski necklace for christmas or an anniversary. we have a lot more pricier expenses and priorities than when we first got together like saving for retirement or property taxes. our relationship with him gift giving has evolved.

anywho what im getting at is i would be pretty hurt if my boyfriend decided to stop sharing what i thought was his love language in the beginning. im not one to want gifts, but it made me feel really special and loved. i'd think our relationship was doomed and be pissed if i found it was a test to see if our relationship is real. hell, i see that as a breakable/relationship-ending offense instead of talking to me.

i just think its weird to use your money to get a woman's attraction/attention and then want to take it away. have that hard conversation about each other's fears and expectations in whatever relationship you two have. im also pretty concerned you maybe using your money exploitatively. and she could very well be doing the same. idk i only heard your side. if you dont want to give her money so she doesn't cam, you need to communicate that. you can say no. creating boundaries and communicating them is fundamental in a relationship.

To be fair, the money that I spent on her while I was there was for both of us. I guess the only thing I found strange was her asking for cash after I had come home. I get your point though and when I'm there again, I don't plan on doing anything differently because she is a wonderful person to spend time with and I enjoyed her company. I came across this site and read some of the stories here and was curious because there seem to have been many people with bad experiences.

 

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

“Honey, I think your under eye circles will look 50/50 in the restaurant I’m taking you to! How about we go to Sephora to get some concealer?”

Seriously tho, did you establish that you’re bf/gf and exclusive?
In some cultures it’s common expectation for man to support or pamper his gf/wife, and if you’re from “rich” country this is even more expected. I think you need to have conversation about both your expectations ASAP.


I hope she doesn’t turn up pregnant or something, because she’s moving fast like high speed train.

Nooo! I didn't say or do anything like that! She had left some things at home and rather than spend the money for her to go home and retrieve things, we just bought new stuff.

She said she didn't want to assume that we were bf/gf and wanted me to ask her -which I did. She accepted. So we are exclusive AFAIK and she's not given me a reason to distrust her, but the speed of everything has me a bit confused. I was sort of thinking along the lines you are saying about the expectations of support.

As far as pregnancy, I am a bit concerned. It's how I ended up married the first time! She does want children, so it's something I need to be careful with.

 

[SheMayBeAUnicorn]

Oh honey. Did you get the tattoo yet?

Nah, I'm good...

 

[inertvolcano]

Well... When you put it like that! lol

I guess I've just never had someone ask me for money like this on a continual basis other than my children!

It sounds like she is coming into this expecting a sugarish arrangement. You never said what country she is from, but if it's Colombia, young women finding guys from other more economically advantaged countries to pay their rent while being in a straightforward boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with them isn't unusual. It's you taking care of her living expenses and in return getting to be in a relationship with someone who is way out of your league/appropriate age range, with maybe the chance that it will work out long term if you're compatible. It's not a scam, but it is a dynamic that many people find morally icky for very good reasons. People in your situation often exploit the difference in financial security and use it as leverage in the relationship, and your posts don't fill me with a lot of confidence that that's not what you're doing.

I just hope things work out okay for her in the long run.

 

[AudriTwo]

As far as pregnancy, I am a bit concerned. It's how I ended up married the first time! She does want children, so it's something I need to be careful with.

You shouldnt be that concerned if you are regularly using condoms and other methods of bc.

Also get the snip, my dude. Shit can be reversed. You guys can have more responsibility of your reproductive health instead putting majority of it on us women. Dont wanna create a whole ass human you are responsible for who is probably in another continent.

 

[rockin_rod]

I won't be sending more money

I'll be booking another flight this week while they are still very cheap.

It's a nice little vacation and I find her country very appealing.

Maybe I have misunderstood, but the overall impression here sounds like you have no specific intentions of commitment towards this person, and just see it as an opportunity for sex and a cut-price vacation.

 

[Vixxen81]

If she wants to come to your country and you haven't had a vasectomy, do not use any condoms she brings with her and keep a personal stash she doesn't know about and draw from there.

 

[Vixxen81]

Maybe I have misunderstood, but the overall impression here sounds like you have no specific intentions of commitment towards this person, and just see it as an opportunity for sex and a cut-price vacation.

Sexual tourism is a lucrative industry.

Sorry for the double post.