Le sigh.

[BabyGirlRed]

***WARNING: EMOTIONAL TWAT, HERE***

I absolutely love being on cam. I've made so many plans on how to make my shows better and treat this like a job.
Here's the problem: I don't have a proper schedule.

Mr. Man doesn't want me to go on cam while he's at home, which is totally understandable, but he's home pretty much all the time. He's looking for a job right now while he's still on assistance. I want to be able to help out with money, but because of my mental shenanigans, I can't handle a "normal job".

I want to have regular hours on cam, but I can't until Mr. Man gets a new job so I can go along with his schedule.
This is really stressing me out a big bunch.

I've been trying to talk to him about my plans for the cam business, but he doesn't seem to take it seriously.
I know that I can be really successful if I have a proper schedule. That way, my regulars will know exactly when I'll be on, I'll gain more regulars, I'll have more time to make more moolah, and I won't have to spend all my days looking at memes on the internet.

I've thought about talking to him about having a schedule where he could go chill at the bar (or something) for a few hours while I'm on cam, but I think that would be a tad rude. This is indeed his home, and I shouldn't kick him out.

I want him to understand that this is a job that I can handle, and I want to treat it like a job. I don't want to just pop on cam every now and again. I want to be able to make money and help out (and buy one of them crazy hitachis. Boy, oh boy! Do those ever look fun!).

Ladies and gents, do you have any advice?

Should I just wait until he gets a job?

Should I talk to him about setting up a schedule for myself now?
If so, what the heck do I say?
How can I make him take me seriously?

 

[Evvie]

I think it's superduper good how motivated you are both to cam and to keep the peace with Mr. Red.

Being home all day sucks and while it isn't fun to kick someone out, also consider that it might be good for him to just get out of the house.

I think you should try and make him understand that this is a real job. I'm not sure what kind of pay he is used to, but you could try to run some numbers by him.

- the average camscore on MFC is 1000. That means the average lady there is making more than minimum wage (~377 tokens or $18 an hour). In fact, for most people, that wage is very significant. You could be making half the average tokens and still be making just about minimum wage.

You could equate the real-life values of things to tokens and compare how little you have to work on MFC, as opposed to a minimum-wage job, to get them. "I could work for five hours on MFC and buy a month's worth of groceries, as opposed to working a week at Starbucks for the same money."

You can explain to him your highest tips and point out that you just made $25 in seconds. In what other job does that happen?


But in the end, I think until you can get a consistent schedule, you should avoid getting on cam and risk hurting your score. In the meanwhile you can film videos, build a private blog, do extra research, produce lots of good photos, build your online presence, work on a new (or improved) cam space... there is a lot you can do without actually getting on cam

 

[SoTxBob]

just tossing a few thoughts out....

You could be the major bread winner here with a lil bit of effort and luck. That in itself has potential to create issues if he's the least bit insecure. "he doesn't seem to take it/me seriously" would also be a bit of a concern.
That says to me he's of the mind of 'male over female' in the house. Sad but it is still common. I don't know how you can change his outlook other than maybe when he sees the benefits [cash] from your work.

Simply stated, IMO it would be best to sit him down and lay out the plan for the short term...
"I want him to understand that this is a job that I can handle, and I want to treat it like a job. I want to have regular hours on cam, I don't want to just pop on cam every now and again. I want to be able to make money and help out." Simple and to the point.

Is your place large enough that you could have the bedroom or living area quiet and to yourself for a few set hours a day? He needs to concede some and realize you can make a go if he will cooperate a tiny bit. I'd not send him to the bar. Period. A drunk state of mind isn't what you want coming back home after you've been doing your thing for other guys online. If however there is someplace else he could hang out, that'd be great as long as it doesn't cost. Lay it out and ask for his input. It will be much easier for his machismo to handle if hes a part of the decision making or brainstorming part.
Good luck.

 

[BabyGirlRed]

But in the end, I think until you can get a consistent schedule, you should avoid getting on cam and risk hurting your score. In the meanwhile you can film videos, build a private blog, do extra research, produce lots of good photos, build your online presence, work on a new (or improved) cam space... there is a lot you can do without actually getting on cam

Thank you so much, Evvie! (I'm a big fan of yours, by the way.) My camscore is already really freakin' low. A sexy 734.7!

I have been doing a lot of research on how to improve my cam sessions and what not. I would love to make some fun videos as well. I've been checking out all the top models and studying their tricks (Mr. Man doesn't believe I'm studying. Oh, my!). Although I may not make it to the top, there's no harm in trying! I don't want to be a complete slacker.

I've been thinking about getting Mr. Man to do a photo/video shoot for (maybe with, even) me so I can make some extra skrill.

There isn't much I can do for cam space, but I have some ideas. I don't have my own bedroom, but if I buy some simple girly sheets and throw them on the bed and up on the way, that will be sure to pretty things up a tad.

Oh, and a white board. I definitely need a white board.

Is your place large enough that you could have the bedroom or living area quiet and to yourself for a few set hours a day? He needs to concede some and realize you can make a go if he will cooperate a tiny bit. I'd not send him to the bar. Period. A drunk state of mind isn't what you want coming back home after you've been doing your thing for other guys online

We live in a small apartment, so it doesn't really work out. There's been a few times where I would go on cam in the kitchen while he would sleep in the bedroom.

And he's drinking here anyways. He's not an angry drunk. He's not an angry anything.

 

[Shaun__]

On topic: It is hard for some men to be in a relationship with someone making more money than they do, and they will sometimes sabotage their partners. I am not saying this is happening in your case, but please be aware of it.



Off topic: BabyGirlRed i just looked at your profile and all I learned was that you are 1 inch tall, you weigh 1 pound, you have good taste in models, and you seem to like squids. I do not even know what you look like, because you do not have a single picture of yourself. I always check the profile before I visit a model, and when I see a profile like that I get scared and pass the model without looking back.

 

[AllisonWilder]

While consistency is key on MFC, have you considered Streamate at all? Consistency is still important there, but it's not as big of a deal. If you've got time randomly here or there you can pop on for an hour, make a decent amount and then go about your day.

In my experience, guys don't take camming seriously until they see that you are and that it's paying off on your paychecks.

Good luck to you! =)

 

[BabyGirlRed]

I do not even know what you look like, because you do not have a single picture of yourself. I always check the profile before I visit a model, and when I see a profile like that I get scared and pass the model without looking back.

I have yet to take snazzy photos of myself, Shaun. I was homeless a short while ago, so all my sexy clothing is gone. I just got some nice stuff two days ago, though. Not 'naughty', but still really freakin' nice. I'm thinking about taking some pictures with that stuff.

I know my profile is crap. There's a lot I want to do with it and I plan on taking many pictures. It would be much easier if I could get Mr. Man to take some pictures rather than me attempting awkward self-shots.

Thanks for the honesty. I definitely don't want to scare anyone off.

 

[BabyGirlRed]

have you considered Streamate at all?

I've thought about it a couple times, but I never really looked into it. I just kind of jumped into MFC and that was that. I'm still very new. I'm checking out the site right now. Thanks.

 

[bob]

about the whole "being rude" thing

I've been trying to talk to him about my plans for the cam business, but he doesn't seem to take it seriously.

let's start with this :whistle: ......to me, that's the biggest "rudeness" in your post
yeah, maybe as shaun suggests, he feels a bit threatened....him being outta work and all....but the relationship is a two way street, and if you've told us that you really can't handle a "normal" job, i'm fairly certain you two have talked about that as well.
so...as sotx says....there's potential in camland for you
and yeah...a schedule is a good place to begin developing it....relationships don't survive on love alone...they need money and growth too.....
the idea of waiting until your guy is in a situation where he can just pretend nonchalance about where your money comes from is tantamount to putting your relationship in limbo while he sorts out his stuff.
i like the idea of sending him off to the bar...it's sensitive to his discomfort without denying it.

How can I make him take me seriously?

you're on the right track....you've considered his needs and take them seriously...on an emotional level....this speaks directly to his importance in your life.
you've considered solutions to the situation....because income sounds like it's a real problem right now...for the both of you...and this speaks directly to the practicalities of any live in relationship....
frame it that way, and -to me- you give him the responsibility of working with you....VERY serious business

 

[LadyLuna]

I do not even know what you look like, because you do not have a single picture of yourself. I always check the profile before I visit a model, and when I see a profile like that I get scared and pass the model without looking back.

I have yet to take snazzy photos of myself, Shaun. I was homeless a short while ago, so all my sexy clothing is gone. I just got some nice stuff two days ago, though. Not 'naughty', but still really freakin' nice. I'm thinking about taking some pictures with that stuff.

I know my profile is crap. There's a lot I want to do with it and I plan on taking many pictures. It would be much easier if I could get Mr. Man to take some pictures rather than me attempting awkward self-shots.

Thanks for the honesty. I definitely don't want to scare anyone off.

1. A picture of you in regular clothes is better than no pictures at all. on streamate, my first uploads to my profile were me in a t-shirt and cargo pants. Seriously, check it out, it's still up. And some guys actually prefer that set to the panties and bra ones I've posted since.

2. Luna's Guide to easy self-pictures.

A. Take a video. in the video, pose. Do lots of poses and lots of angles. You don't have to have your hand on the trigger at all for this!

B. Download avidemux. It's a free video editing software. The key here, is that it allows you to save your video as a bunch of jpg's taken from the frames.

C. Go to file, mouse-over the save with the arrow behind it and another menu will appear right next to it. The last option should be "save selection as jpeg images..." Click that. Create a folder somewhere for the images, there's going to be a lot of them. Then choose a base-name. Avidemux will save each frame as a jpeg image of that base-name followed by a number.

D. Go to the folder with your pictures, and pick out the ones you want. Delete the rest.

Viola! You now have a bunch of sexy and/or goofy pictures to upload to your profile without doing much work. ^_^

 

[Evvie]

I do not even know what you look like, because you do not have a single picture of yourself. I always check the profile before I visit a model, and when I see a profile like that I get scared and pass the model without looking back.

I have yet to take snazzy photos of myself, Shaun. I was homeless a short while ago, so all my sexy clothing is gone. I just got some nice stuff two days ago, though. Not 'naughty', but still really freakin' nice. I'm thinking about taking some pictures with that stuff.

I know my profile is crap. There's a lot I want to do with it and I plan on taking many pictures. It would be much easier if I could get Mr. Man to take some pictures rather than me attempting awkward self-shots.

Thanks for the honesty. I definitely don't want to scare anyone off.

Some models have fun putting in fake heights, weight, and ages... all my info is fake right now, but just because I like to mess around. I agree it is probably not a good idea. Personally, when a model has fake info (not fudging, but clearly impossible) I find it irritating because I want to know things about her and that doesn't help.

I was actually going to suggest exactly what ladyluna said for photos! I have a screen capture program that takes pictures of my webcam continuously, I just mess around for ten minutes and there can be 50 great new photos to use.

Don't worry about what you're wearing. Any clothes or no clothes will work. Beauty shots with only your face are very attractive as well.

I spent a lot of time camming in the kitchen. I found the most important thing was not where I was, but how much time I had to spend setting up beforehand. Putting on makeup, moving equipment, testing lighting, and getting dressed could take up to an hour for me and very often I wanted to jump on cam, but I was dissuaded because I could never just 'jump' on. If you can find an area where you can keep your stuff most of the time without having to break it down, that is a good cam area.

 

[ComicOzzie]

So the boyfriend is out of work and yet he gets bent out of shape when you work and bring in money?

Am I missing something here?

 

[Anonymous]

So the boyfriend is out of work and yet he gets bent out of shape when you work and bring in money?

Am I missing something here?

^This.^

How does he expect to have any money coming in if he's not working, and he doesn't want you to get on cam? Is it just because of the whole "I'm not comfortable with my girl chatting with dudes on the internet" thing? Not to be rude, but he needs to get over it and start taking your job seriously...because, contrary to what many guys believe, camming IS a REAL job, and it can be a very well-paying job. A lot of people assume that work-from-home jobs aren't "real jobs."

 

[loveyougipsy]

Mr. Man doesn't want me to go on cam while he's at home, which is totally understandable, but he's home pretty much all the time. He's looking for a job right now while he's still on assistance. I want to be able to help out with money, but because of my mental shenanigans, I can't handle a "normal job".

I've been trying to talk to him about my plans for the cam business, but he doesn't seem to take it seriously.

From a partners perspective I think until you can get to the bottom of these you have a hard battle ahead.

Apart from not seeming to take it seriously has he actually told you why he has a problem with it?
Is it a money issue? You earning when he isn't?
Is it the whole cam site idea? Does he feel threatened, freaked out?
Is it even he'll hear you saying similar phrases on cam that you say to him? Unless he can understand the difference it can be very hard for him hearing you using similar phrases talking to cam site members that you would say to him.

Playing devil's advocate, could you relax and enjoy yourself on cam even in a dedicated room knowing he was on the other side of the door?

 

[BabyGirlRed]

I had a great time last night! I had a couple drinks with Mr. Man and watched some girls on cam with him. It turned into one of the best conversations we've ever had! He showed me a girl that I (surprisingly) have never seen before, and I was really inspired by her. I told him that that's what I wanted to do. Her show was quite similar to how I would like my shows to be (with my own personality, of course).

Being a tad tipsy, I had the courage to say "Hey, listen up. Here's what I want to do, and here's how you can help. I want a damned job, and your income assistance isn't coming in anymore." (he left for Croatia a couple months ago, so they stopped the payments while he was gone, but for some reason, they didn't start up again) "I know that if we get this shit together, I will be able to bring in great money. Maybe even more than minimum wage if I set my shows up right. You are the boss. This is your home, your laptop, but we need money. And you can still be the boss... Of me! You know a lot about fashion (like the fabulous straight homo lover he is) and you can pick my outfits and take pictures for me. My schedule is up to you, and you can tell me, as a man, what you would like to see in a show. I want to pay you back for everything you've given me, and then some!"

We both got really excited and now he's in! I feel wonderful! I think I just needed to be more upbeat about it. Every other time I tried talking to him, I was quite the Debby Downer. I think that having a fun, upbeat conversation about it while watching as some babe made hundreds of dollars in less than an hour was the smart way to go about it. Also, beer.

Time to shave my muff and take some pictures!

Gosh, you guys. I am so unbelievably happy right now! Not only did I get my way, but I feel as though we are much closer as a couple.

I do understand why he wasn't that into it before, but I think now that money is becoming an issue, he's more supportive.
I honestly think there is no need for him to be jealous. I mean, come on! He's the one that gets to bang this fine ass.
And I'm going to be pleasuring myself anyways (bad boys finish first), so why not do it on cam and make some cash?

Squee!!! I am so happy, I might just vomit.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

From your post, I think you are a wonderful girlfriend. Taking his feelings into consideration and making him a partner and not just a separate person is inspiring. I wish the best for you both.

 

[BabyGirlRed]

Thank you, Megan. :-D

 

[Anonymous]

I am so happy, I might just vomit.

That's funny! :mrgreen: I felt like I was gonna vomit a few minutes ago, and I have no idea why. I drank some Simply Lemonade just now and feel a little better.

Anyway, I'm glad that your boyfriend is being supportive now and understands that it IS a real job. Have fun!

 

[AmazingAshlee]

I wish this thread existed when I started! I was with someone for 4 years before I joined, but the fact that he couldn't get on board with me wanting to be on MFC was the straw that broke the camels back. His biggest thing was "Oh, but you might not actually MAKE any money, and then you've done this crazy shameful thing for nothing." We broke up after he let his reasoning slip: "But then you wouldn't need me..." Considering I was a stay at home mom and he was not giving me any spending money at all, even when I'd ask... Umm yeah, he had to go. He's still in my life because he's my "baby daddy" and a year after taking things seriously the way you'd like, I'm doing just fine, and he's green with envy. I really love the way you handled things, and even though there were way too many issues for my relationship to work, I could have said things differently. It also brings me a little hope that maybe one day I actually be able to have a real relationship and be a camgirl at the same time, cause so far that's been a major flop. Girls, if you have been with you S.O. since before starting, and you got them on board, you are so much more lucky than you know.