Lying about relationship status

[mynameisbob84]

I was in a model's room the other day and at one point, the topic of conversation swung around to models lying about their relationship status in order to implicitly lead members on. The model argued that this is fairly common practice on MFC and that she herself had told members she was single in the past (when in fact she was in a relationship) in the hopes it would lead to more tips from certain members.

This surprised me a little. Not because it doesn't make sense (I can absolutely see certain member types tipping a model more than they otherwise would if they think there's even a hint of a chance of that model letting them stick their willy in her foo foo), but rather because of the type of unhealthy relationship it breeds between model and member. Maybe the models on ACF are a little more level-headed and a little less under-handed than a lot of MFC models, but one of the things I see stressed over and over again on this forum is that MFC is not a dating site. And that makes a lot of sense, ya know? By making it absolutely clear that the chances of a given model meeting, dating, and/or fucking a member are practically non-existent, it (hopefully) cuts down on
a) models being stalked by crazies, and
b) members being exploited by models looking to manipulate them with promises of a relationship that is never truly on the cards.

By actively lying about being single in the hopes that the more obsessive members tip more, it surely creates an environment where models being stalked by crazies who think they're in love with (and crucially have a chance with) said models is more commonplace. Or am I reading too much into this? Do single models truly stand to make more than models in relationships?

So...

Models, have you ever/do you/would you ever lie about your relationship status? Members, does a model's relationship status have any effect on your tipping habits? (there be a poll so y'all can answer anonymously if ya like)

 

[Greggory]

It would depend on the model (personally). Ones that I tip because I like their looks and personality, knowing they are in a relationship really doesn't stop me tipping. Ones where I am there just for the looks though, I hope not...but probably do to some extent limit the tips.

The way I look at it, there are many guys who feel slightly possessive (even if they don't act it) about girls they like...and the concept of knowing there is another guy giving it to the girl they like doesn't sit well with them...even if they are clearly aware that they have 0% shot of even meeting the girl, there is always the fantasy.

 

[Shaun__]

I am fine with my model friends being in happy relationships, the world needs happy things happening in it.

 

[AmberCutie]

Was it my room that you are referring to, Bob? I just had a similar conversation on Thursday night and I think you may have been there. But it wasn't that I misled people to make more money by duping them, it's just that's what I thought I had to do to be successful. And also, I told this very inquisitive dude (when he said it's "unusual" that I am married) that it was a lot more common than he may think, and that many girls lie about it because so many members get all butthurt when they hear a girl is married. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "oh ur married? damn, too bad" in my chatroom, I'd be able buy myself some candy bars. A pallet of them.

I lied about my relationship status for about the first 5 months that I was camming. The only research I had done previous to camming was watching other girls on cam sites, reading their profiles, watching the interaction in their chat rooms. I was under the impression that being single was the only way to be liked. There was no ACF back then where I could talk with other models "behind the scenes" and exchange thoughts about this stuff. All I knew is that I needed a "cam persona" and that she was 25, lived in Newport Beach, and was single.

Once I had a few months under my belt I realized that I was making pretty personal connections with my chatting regulars and it just felt awkward to lie about something that had an impact on my every day. It's hard to not talk about my husband, or make up stories about where I live. So I came clean. I don't really feel it has interfered with my income, but I am betting it has cut down on a lot of drama and uncomfortable conversations with people who do get the wrong idea about member/cam girl relationships.

 

[CharlotteLace]

By actively lying about being single in the hopes that the more obsessive members tip more, it surely creates an environment where models being stalked by crazies who think they're in love with (and crucially have a chance with) said models is more commonplace. Or am I reading too much into this? Do single models truly stand to make more than models in relationships?

I openly wear my wedding ring on cam, and mention "we" at least a few times a night. Specifically for that reason. As much as camming is for fantasies, there are many members/models who dangerously blur that line. As much as I hate to stomp on BigDaddy69's dreams, I will never meet him, even if he is a really nice guy who just wants a stable relationship with my cam persona. Mentioning I'm taken makes it that much clearer and insistent that our playtime will always be of the cyber variety.

I've had a handful of guys who don't notice my wedding ring right away, and I think I've actually lost a few once they realized they didn't have a "real" chance with me. But that's okay. There'll be other members. Maybe single models do make more than models in relationships, but I'm more than willing to pay the "less likely to get stalked by a deranged fan" tax.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Was it my room that you are referring to, Bob? I just had a similar conversation on Thursday night and I think you may have been there. But it wasn't that I misled people to make more money by duping them, it's just that's what I thought I had to do to be successful. And also, I told this very inquisitive dude (when he said it's "unusual" that I am married) that it was a lot more common than he may think, and that many girls lie about it because so many members get all butthurt when they hear a girl is married. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "oh ur married? damn, too bad" in my chatroom, I'd be able buy myself some candy bars. A pallet of them.

I lied about my relationship status for about the first 5 months that I was camming. The only research I had done previous to camming was watching other girls on cam sites, reading their profiles, watching the interaction in their chat rooms. I was under the impression that being single was the only way to be liked. There was no ACF back then where I could talk with other models "behind the scenes" and exchange thoughts about this stuff. All I knew is that I needed a "cam persona" and that she was 25, lived in Newport Beach, and was single.

Once I had a few months under my belt I realized that I was making pretty personal connections with my chatting regulars and it just felt awkward to lie about something that had an impact on my every day. It's hard to not talk about my husband, or make up stories about where I live. So I came clean. I don't really feel it has interfered with my income, but I am betting it has cut down on a lot of drama and uncomfortable conversations with people who do get the wrong idea about member/cam girl relationships.

It actually wasn't your room. I don't think I was there for said conversation, so just a co-inky-dink

 

[Bocefish]

Variations of this topic seem to come up every so often.

A quick search found 71 posts on a similar issue and I'll say what I said then and the time before that when it came up. https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... on+to+play

I would much rather the model be honest and upfront from the beginning than catch her in a lie later on. That kind of lying can only do more harm than good when or if she gets caught.

I liked the way a model/friend put it when asked... she honestly said "I'm married but have permission to play online as much as I want." :thumbleft:

 

[Crumb]

I'm usually under the assumption that models are in a relationship and lying about it... until she mentions otherwise... cause in my brain I'm typically asking myself "how is this chick NOT taken by someone?"

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Models relationship status has zero effect on my choices. Don't care if shes married, don't care if shes single. Plus models lie all the time so it would be hard to tell which ones are being honest. Better to not care about stuff like this when visiting camsites.

 

[MemberEd]

I wouldn't even consider a model as lying for being inaccurate about that kind of information. Like where she lives and other personal information its just not something a member really needs to know.

 

[SexySteph]

I don't think that models lie to take advantage of men or mislead, I think it just helps to avoid innapropriate conversations "Will you do a b/g video with him?" "I bet my dick is bigger than his." etc.

Also, many men do seem to feel there is ownership in relationships "I'd never LET my girlfriend/wife do this." "How does your bf feel about you doing this?" "Does your boyfriend let you do this?" etc. It's kinda like when in a bar a woman tells a man she's not interested and he ignores it but if a man comes up and says something that implies this woman is dating him it changes things.

I think some guys might have a mental block around looking at another man's 'property' sexually. It's not about whether or not he could potentially date her, it's about her being some one else's. That's my thoughts at least. Also, if a camgirl's relationship status changes is there really an appropriate time or way to bring it up?

Ultimately, it's not REALLY anyone's business but her own. I don't even know if half the girls I have class with every day are in relationships.

 

[DuoShi]

I don't bother myself to care. To be straight-forward, I visit MFC to get off on models getting off. I can do that many ways, but none of those ways involve needing to know a model's relationship status. The model could be married, single, in a one or many relationships. As long as I find the model attractive and I like her personality, I will more than likely tip. Right now, I'm not trying to find a girlfriend. When I start trying, I'll be stepping out of the house for that endeavor.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

I was in a model's room the other day and at one point, the topic of conversation swung around to models lying about their relationship status in order to implicitly lead members on. The model argued that this is fairly common practice on MFC and that she herself had told members she was single in the past (when in fact she was in a relationship) in the hopes it would lead to more tips from certain members.

This surprised me a little. Not because it doesn't make sense (I can absolutely see certain member types tipping a model more than they otherwise would if they think there's even a hint of a chance of that model letting them stick their willy in her foo foo), but rather because of the type of unhealthy relationship it breeds between model and member. Maybe the models on ACF are a little more level-headed and a little less under-handed than a lot of MFC models, but one of the things I see stressed over and over again on this forum is that MFC is not a dating site. And that makes a lot of sense, ya know? By making it absolutely clear that the chances of a given model meeting, dating, and/or fucking a member are practically non-existent, it (hopefully) cuts down on
a) models being stalked by crazies, and
b) members being exploited by models looking to manipulate them with promises of a relationship that is never truly on the cards.

By actively lying about being single in the hopes that the more obsessive members tip more, it surely creates an environment where models being stalked by crazies who think they're in love with (and crucially have a chance with) said models is more commonplace. Or am I reading too much into this? Do single models truly stand to make more than models in relationships?

So...

Models, have you ever/do you/would you ever lie about your relationship status? Members, does a model's relationship status have any effect on your tipping habits? (there be a poll so y'all can answer anonymously if ya like)

I was married when i started and told ppl i had a boyfriend.
My marriage fell apart not long after that, and i was honest from then on in...

I will say having a BDSM relationship seems to make it more interesting and less offputting to some members.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I will sometimes act like I'm single in my public room, but any regulars I get close to will find out pretty quickly that I'm in a relationship.

I have several reasons for lying about relationship status:

I don't want members questioning me about my boyfriend or feeling they have a right to know about my personal life.

Telling members I have a boyfriend publicly does often lead towards comments, often they're negative like "I'd never let my girlfriend do this" and members somehow making out there's something wrong with my boyfriend because he is cool with my job.

Sometimes when I say something like "I haven't has an orgasm in x number of days!" a member will try insinuating there's something wrong with my boyfriends sex skills. Something that pisses me off no end as I doubt said person could ever give me an orgasm if he got the chance, and it's like they somehow expect my relationship to be based on nothing but sex.

Then there are the members who feel they have the right to ask about my sex life with my boyfriend, even ask for sex videos etc. There are certain things with camming for me that are NOT for sale, and one of those is personal information about MY sex life. No I am not going to tell some random dude about my intimate moments making love to my boyfriend so he can whack one off.

When it comes to new members, well, they haven't formed a relationship with me, so there's no reason to be honest about my relationship status, if they're just passing by then I'd rather them enjoy the fantasy and don't want to ward off potential tippers. If someone becomes closer to me/becomes more of a regular then I will tell them, but until that point seeing as much of my tips come from total newbies who never tip again I don't bother taking the risk of putting them off and the risk of having them question me.

I don't mind talking to regulars I become friends with about my relationship so long as they're not interrogating me, but for me I feel almost violent when dudes try and worm their way into my personal space without it being remotely invited. I didn't like being asked about my sex life when I was single, I most definitely don't like being asked about it now I'm in a relationship. This stuff I'm asked not even my closest friends would ever ask about, it's completely inappropriate in every situation.

What I wouldn't do would be make out I'm available for dating deliberately to lead someone on so they tip me lots, I think some models do this, but not many. What I think plenty of models do is similar to what I do, keep themselves single, partly for the illusion/income and partly to ward off questions. I don't see anything wrong with this. Camgirls in themselves are an illusion, every time a camgirl cams she'll have moments where she exaggerates her happiness, enjoyment and friendship feelings towards members. Her personal life has zero to do with camming, if she's clear she's not available for dating then she's not deliberately leading members on, she's just playing along to the fantasy.

 

[Bocefish]

Also, many men do seem to feel there is ownership in relationships "I'd never LET my girlfriend/wife do this." "How does your bf feel about you doing this?" "Does your boyfriend let you do this?" etc. It's kinda like when in a bar a woman tells a man she's not interested and he ignores it but if a man comes up and says something that implies this woman is dating him it changes things.

I think some guys might have a mental block around looking at another man's 'property' sexually. It's not about whether or not he could potentially date her, it's about her being some one else's. That's my thoughts at least. Also, if a camgirl's relationship status changes is there really an appropriate time or way to bring it up?

I believe there is some ownership in a serious relationship, which is why I shared the way my model friend put it. She said "I'm married but have permission to play online as much as I want."

That should dissolve any guilt or apprehension a member may have. If it doesn't, then said member is on the wrong site.

It's also nice to know that what I previously thought was an innocent honest compliment saying "your husband is a lucky man" is apparently no longer welcomed.

 

[SexySteph]

Also, many men do seem to feel there is ownership in relationships "I'd never LET my girlfriend/wife do this." "How does your bf feel about you doing this?" "Does your boyfriend let you do this?" etc. It's kinda like when in a bar a woman tells a man she's not interested and he ignores it but if a man comes up and says something that implies this woman is dating him it changes things.

I think some guys might have a mental block around looking at another man's 'property' sexually. It's not about whether or not he could potentially date her, it's about her being some one else's. That's my thoughts at least. Also, if a camgirl's relationship status changes is there really an appropriate time or way to bring it up?

I believe there is some ownership in a serious relationship, which is why I shared the way my model friend put it. She said "I'm married but have permission to play online as much as I want."

That should dissolve any guilt or apprehension a member may have. If it doesn't, then said member is on the wrong site.

It's also nice to know that what I previously thought was an innocent honest compliment saying "your husband is a lucky man" is apparently no longer welcomed.

I wouldn't say that's an inappropriate comment. But "Man, if I was your bf you wouldn't need to cam, I'd satisfy you" isn't. I'm not quite sure where you got the vibe that I was calling that inappropriate.

 

[Gen]

I don't think married/taken women saying they're single should be seen as potentially encouraging bad behaviour any more than a single model saying she's single (being honest) should. That is to say, the member would have no way to tell the difference so that's kinda saying by being open about your singleness, you're encouraging/facilitating stalkerish attachments?

Anyways, I'm single and open about it! Sometimes I want to lie though because I feel like guys sometime make fun of me for being single, lol. And also I do get tired of "omg HOW ARE YOU SINGLE" because I don't know how to answer that lol. And when I've said that I'm just too busy to have time to start anything, they don't believe me (I think they can't fathom that someone isn't crazy desperate for a partner haha but it's true, I broke up with m last boyfriend because I felt I didn't have time for him).

I do wonder how to tell them whenever I do (or if I do lol) eventually start dating someone.

 

[Mirah]

I started off being very honest but quickly got sick of the questions/comments that followed. the "I can't believe he lets you do this, what a chump!" or asking veeery personal questions about my sex life so I started not talking about it at all. wouldn't confirm or deny or answer any marital status questions.
When I signed up for my first cam mansion though, I decided to talk about it again just because I didn't want anyone going to the after party to get any mixed impressions. It wasn't a specific member that made me change my mind but just the potential. so since then I've been very honest about it and I shut down the questions/comments that follow it pretty quick, its easier for me to do that now that I've came into my own cam wise as opposed to when I had first started. I have gotten backlash from it but all from people who were brand new in my room (they would leave as soon as I mentioned it) or seemed like they were getting a bit too close anyways. Many, if not all of my regulars were super cool about it

 

[SaffronBurke]

I dance around the subject a lot, because my situation is unique. I get asked how I got into camming on a regular basis, and usually answer with the truth - my husband was watching some girls on MFC, and I was intruiged, and tried it out. But then things start getting weird, because he died in February, and I'm not sure how to bring it up, or how it will be received. I currently have a friend I'm sleeping with, but I don't know how to phrase that, either, and once more am unsure how it would go over to viewers. I do have a line that I use both personally and while camming, as it's true - I don't sleep with anyone I met on the inter webs. This stops most of the meet-up requests and halts any illusions immediately.

 

[Rileyster]

I'm very straight up about my relationship status on social networking sites such as Tumblr. I don't mention it on MGF and the like unless someone asks then I will tell them that I am engaged but I do keep my ring on in my pictures and videos. I never want anyone to get the wrong idea and I have found that it keeps most guys respectful and to not cross my boundaries

 

[CharlieSays]

I'm single, but I date. And I tell my room exactly that. I would tell MFC folks if it got serious enough that I wanted to move in with someone, but I would want to avoid the personal questions as long as possible. I think maybe because we share so much of our sexuality online it's nice to have some things that are just yours.

Maybe I should have a pretend boyfriend though, because I did get asked on two IRL dates from MFC people recently. I could call him Bob in your honor.

 

[Jessi]

Im really open about it, I mean we have videos together and in a lot of ways he's like my little helper elf. I often talk openly about my day or what exciting things are coming up and your spouse is often involved with those things. And I have silly sex stories.

If a member likes imagining me picking up random-untested-dangerous-strangers to make porn with or can't jerk off to/make friends me because I'm committed to someone else emotionally... I don't think I want them for a regular anyway. I have great regs who don't care and are fun to be around while respecting my boundaries

 

[WickedTouch]

IMO I have no interest in whether any cam model is married/single has a SO or whatever. It is their personal life, outside of camming and they have the right to keep that as private as they wish. After all, I don't interrogate the woman who serves me my coffee in a local coffee shop or the woman who works the supermarket checkout as to their relationship status. If THEY bring up the topic, then that is up to them... not for me to go trawling.

It is generally agreed that every camgirl has the right to keep her home location, phone, email, facebook etc all as private as SHE wishes... so I think her relationship status should be in the same ball park... nobody's business but hers.

oh and MFC is STILL not a dating site last time I looked... :thumbleft:

 

[Albert_1]

I know I have zero shot going in so a models relationship status is irrelevant to me unless there bf/husband is a member of the room or a source for amusing stories in which case I find it to be a plus that she's taken by someone cool.

By actively lying about being single in the hopes that the more obsessive members tip more, it surely creates an environment where models being stalked by crazies who think they're in love with (and crucially have a chance with) said models is more commonplace. Or am I reading too much into this? Do single models truly stand to make more than models in relationships?

I could see how it could potentially encouraging models being stalked by crazies, but people this crazy can jump through a lot of hoops to convince themselves that the person they're stocking is in love with them or would fall for them if they met them face to face.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

IMO I have no interest in whether any cam model is married/single has a SO or whatever. It is their personal life, outside of camming and they have the right to keep that as private as they wish. After all, I don't interrogate the woman who serves me my coffee in a local coffee shop or the woman who works the supermarket checkout as to their relationship status. If THEY bring up the topic, then that is up to them... not for me to go trawling.

It is generally agreed that every camgirl has the right to keep her home location, phone, email, facebook etc all as private as SHE wishes... so I think her relationship status should be in the same ball park... nobody's business but hers.

oh and MFC is STILL not a dating site last time I looked... :thumbleft:

This comment pretty much says it for me. I never understand why some members believe they're owed an honest answer as to something personal in a model's life. Personally I don't like to talk about anything, not even extra jobs and work I do outside Mfc. Yet some members who get wind of some of the stuff I do seem to think it's cool (after me saying I don't want to discuss it with them) to probe me with questions. Just because you speak to someone and want to fuck them doesn't mean you're allowed to push your way into their intimate life. Mfc isn't a dating site and a model being single does not invite stalkers, it just gives some members the mild hope and illusion that one day something might happen. I think that when I was single several members did have minor hopes that one day they'd get to date/meet me, but all those members still stayed once I got into a relationship.
I think with many members they do harbour secret hopes of dating a model. Just like many people get put off a celebrity if they get into a relationship. Of course there was no chance of dating that person anyway, but another person complicates fantasies. They know it's not real, but most enjoy imagining every now and then.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I don't think married/taken women saying they're single should be seen as potentially encouraging bad behaviour any more than a single model saying she's single (being honest) should. That is to say, the member would have no way to tell the difference so that's kinda saying by being open about your singleness, you're encouraging/facilitating stalkerish attachments?

Good point

I think there's a difference between a model being open about being single but also making it clear that her being single doesn't mean she would ever want to date/fuck a member, and a model lying about being single with the sole intention of leading members to believe that there's a chance of something romantic happening should they stick around long enough and tip big enough though. It's the latter phenomena (that may or may not be even remotely common on MFC) that was being discussed in the model's room that I referenced in the initial post.

And I completely take on board that there any number of reasons a model might not be forthcoming with the truth about her relationship status, and that not every model who lies about being single is doing so in the hopes that members will tip more. I just wonder if the models that are happy to lead members on aren't potentially playing a dangerous game.

And for the record, I care not whether a model is single or in a relationship. So long as their room is fun to hang out in and they're nice to look at, their marital status is every bit as relevant as their location, their preferred method of transportation, or whether they've ever stepped in a dog poo and walked it into the house, all over their brand new carpet.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Maybe I should have a pretend boyfriend though, because I did get asked on two IRL dates from MFC people recently. I could call him Bob in your honor.

If you do, make him cool, yeah? Maybe he plays in a band and maybe that band opened for Broken Social Scene or something once. Or maybe he can play the Super Mario Bros. theme on bass.

 

[Sevrin]

I think it's better not to discuss relationship status at all, both for models and members. It's partly a privacy issue, partly TMI. I find it just as awkward when members discuss their relationships with their significant other in public on a cam site as when they proposition a model. Likewise if a model does it. I doesn't add to my enjoyment of a model's company knowing she has an offline relationship, but it doesn't necessarily subtract, either. There's one married model I've known for years and we've talked about her hubby. It's no longer a camgirl-member thing though. I haven't seen her online for ages, primarily because she's mostly an admin now, but we still chat occasionally, and I send her a tip on her birthday.

The only times I have discussed that kind of thing is when models have brought up the subject in private discussion. My preference is to let the model set the boundaries for what they are willing to discuss. If she asks my name, I'll ask for hers. If she asks about my life offline, I'll ask about hers. If they don't, I won't either.

 

[MissHollyJade]

If anyone asks me, I will tell them I'm married. Otherwise, it's not brought up. Granted I cam on SM and not MFC so I'm not really building relationships with regulars. To me, it kind of kills the fantasy to be in a private and bring up my husband, unless it's asked. On MFC though it's a little different and I would probably talk about him more openly in my room.

 

[Jillybean]

I started out on Streamate lying about it. I thought the guys on there cared. I guess since they pay to take you private, they'd want you all to themselves, meaning they want you to be single. Turns out they don't give a poop at all and now I don't pussy-foot around it when they ask.

Not single guys. Doesn't change anything. You can still see me naked.

But on the point of stalkers. I find that the amount of guys who get unhealthily attached are the same now that I'm openly taken. I don't think it matters if they think you're available or not. If a member is irrational enough to think that the relationship can go offline, they are also irrational enough to think there's a possibility of the girl leaving whoever she's with.

That being said, it doesn't happen often. And I'm so happy.

And also... I don't feel BAD about enjoying privates. I DO have a really good time and get REALLY turned on almost every private. I know some people would think that's cheating on your significant other, but not really. Not if you're open and you both are comfortable with it. I wouldn't get jealous if he enjoyed his job, so why should he get jealous if I enjoy mine.