Mindfulness

[SandyPanz]

The practice of techniques such as (but certainly not limited to) breathing deeply, meditation, and yoga, is a source of powerful, positive change in my life, and the lives of many others worldwide. I want to share some of the things I'm learning that have helped me understand better emotions, stress, and relationships, just to name a few. I'm also curious if you have any experiences and/or methods you'd like to share!

 

[EspiKvlt]

I'm a Buddhist, so everything I do is religion-based mostly.

 

[SandyPanz]

There are lots of versions of this-I came across the following in The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne. It's in a chapter on assertiveness, but I find it profoundly clarifying when I am struggling to understand if my feelings are appropriate to a situation. It helps me to see when I'm being unfair to someone else, too!

Personal Bill of Rights

I have the right to ask for what I want.

I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.

I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

I have the right to change my mind.

I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

I have the right to follow my own standards and standards.

I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.

I have the right to determine my own priorities.

I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.

I have the right to expect honesty from others.

I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

I have the right to be uniquely myself.

I have the right to feel scared and say I’m scared.

I have the right to say I don’t know.

I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

I have the right to be in a non abusive environment.

I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

I have the right to change and grow.

I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

I have the right to be happy.

 

[SandyPanz]

I'm a Buddhist, so everything I do is religion-based mostly.

I don't have much experience with Buddhism, but I think religion provides some of the most accessible avenues to mindfulness. Even though I'm not religious, I definitely feel more connected when I engage in things like ritual and the contemplation of mysteries.

 

[HanlonShaves]

Dunno about mindfulness, but in regards to handling stress, I've found a good amount of success with square breathing. Inhale over four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale over four seconds, hold for four seconds, inhale for four seconds...(repeat)

Aside from just slowing your breathing in a tense or stressful situation, helps distract you and lets you center yourself because it's something you actively need to focus on.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I love the condition known as 'Flow', it is my favourite state of mind to be in. Here is the wiki link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) .
To get there you need to push hard enough for the activity to completely occupy your attention, but not go too far so that it stresses you or you will pass through the state. The activity needs to be hard but not stressful, and can be mental or physical in nature, both is ideal.

Time will pass very quickly, you lose yourself to what you are doing, and feeling is one of bliss, a high state of happiness. The feeling after is similar to after good sex, but less physically draining.

Flow is the best reason to push yourself a little harder/ challenge yourself when you do a familiar activity. Particularly good on the mundane activities such as cleaning the house.

 

[TacoBelle]

I love the condition known as 'Flow', it is my favourite state of mind to be in. Here is the wiki link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) .
To get there you need to push hard enough for the activity to completely occupy your attention, but not go too far so that it stresses you or you will pass through the state. The activity needs to be hard but not stressful, and can be mental or physical in nature, both is ideal.

Time will pass very quickly, you lose yourself to what you are doing, and feeling is one of bliss, a high state of happiness. The feeling after is similar to after good sex, but less physically draining.

Flow is the best reason to push yourself a little harder/ challenge yourself when you do a familiar activity. Particularly good on the mundane activities such as cleaning the house.

So, do you basically just zone out while doing the dishes? I'm trying to figure out what you mean by

"To get there you need to push hard enough for the activity to completely occupy your attention, but not go too far so that it stresses you or you will pass through the state. The activity needs to be hard but not stressful, and can be mental or physical in nature, both is ideal."

Are there any sounds or smells that you focus on? Are there any specific thoughts that help get you to this point? Can you help explain how to get there a bit better?

 

[SandyPanz]

Dunno about mindfulness, but in regards to handling stress, I've found a good amount of success with square breathing. Inhale over four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale over four seconds, hold for four seconds, inhale for four seconds...(repeat)

Aside from just slowing your breathing in a tense or stressful situation, helps distract you and lets you center yourself because it's something you actively need to focus on.

Thank you! I tried this a few times and I especially like how the holds remind me of all the space in my lungs that I don't usually fully fill or empty. Definitely enjoyed a grounding effect!

I love the condition known as 'Flow', it is my favourite state of mind to be in. Here is the wiki link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) .
To get there you need to push hard enough for the activity to completely occupy your attention, but not go too far so that it stresses you or you will pass through the state. The activity needs to be hard but not stressful, and can be mental or physical in nature, both is ideal.

Time will pass very quickly, you lose yourself to what you are doing, and feeling is one of bliss, a high state of happiness. The feeling after is similar to after good sex, but less physically draining.

Flow is the best reason to push yourself a little harder/ challenge yourself when you do a familiar activity. Particularly good on the mundane activities such as cleaning the house.

Oooh, I think I know that feeling...and I'm intrigued by the possibility of practicing it while completing chores...I want to learn more Thank you!

 

[Ambers Troll]

So, do you basically just zone out while doing the dishes? I'm trying to figure out what you mean by
Are there any sounds or smells that you focus on? Are there any specific thoughts that help get you to this point? Can you help explain how to get there a bit better?

You actually want to make the dishes take up all of your attention when doing them, you zone in rather than out. For a simple task like washing dishes it would most likely be fast or better still as a multitask with something else. Usually you find flow best when you are close to your best capacity/ performance.
You need to make it harder, more challenging to find the state, zoning out is a different state, more like relaxing into a high skill task without any challenge, a good feeling but not flow.

Artists are one group who find flow easily they tend to start simply, then increase the detail and complexity. Athletes aim to do their best, then relax into the state to get 'in the zone'. At work I have found the best way is to always be thinking ahead on the best way to complete the next task, or sometimes next series of tasks, when flow strikes it is like a pattern forms and it all makes sense. Tasks can be complex, including interactions with people, meetings and so on, but your mind needs to be at full attention to stay in the state.

There is an argument that you need to be internally driven to find flow. You do any task for what it can teach you, what you can take from the task itself, rather than what it achieves you. You can't be comfort driven and must be a little curious to see what is possible to find flow.

 

[paige_orion]

I love the condition known as 'Flow', it is my favourite state of mind to be in. Here is the wiki link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology) .
To get there you need to push hard enough for the activity to completely occupy your attention, but not go too far so that it stresses you or you will pass through the state. The activity needs to be hard but not stressful, and can be mental or physical in nature, both is ideal.

Time will pass very quickly, you lose yourself to what you are doing, and feeling is one of bliss, a high state of happiness. The feeling after is similar to after good sex, but less physically draining.

Flow is the best reason to push yourself a little harder/ challenge yourself when you do a familiar activity. Particularly good on the mundane activities such as cleaning the house.

I have trouble achieving "Flow" while cleaning - but I know that exact same feeling. I get it while I am writing or while I am crafting - perhaps painting or bent over a sewing machine with scraps of fabric surrounding me. It isn't zoning out... Not really. It is just being so intensely focused on your project that nothing else exists.

The world fades away. I fade away. There is nothing but my hands and my tools and the creation unfolding before me, blooming more beautifully than I had imagined. And there is nothing but satisfaction and happiness. It is losing yourself in the now, in your creation (or action, in the case of mundane activities). There is no anxiety. There is not sadness. There are no thoughts. It is just... pure being. Immersing yourself so completely into your project that it feels as if you are apart of it. Or it is an extension of you. Sometimes, I can achieve the same feeling while dancing. Feeling the music pulse, aware of each nerve dancing in my body, aware of each movement of muscle, feeling free in a way that words cannot describe. Feeling both free and yet a part of everything, all at once. It's.... almost pure euphoria.

It is truly one of my favorite feelings in the entire universe. And it is a bit of a high. i wish I could achieve that feeling with mundane activities - I think that takes a bit more discipline than I have (right now).

For mundage activities, I try to think of the book, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, though it has been a while since I have read it. Normally, I am used to spending such mundane activities brainstorming novel plots and just zoning out and daydreaming. But Tolle speaks about how much humans spend too much time thinking of the future - daydreaming about days that might never come or reminiscing of the past, that the present, the NOW gets completely forgotten. But the now is all we have, really. So by being aware of each moment as it happens, and appreciating it, we shall be much more mindful of our life. Appreciating each moment, whether it is big and adventurous or small and mundane - the point is to focus on what is happening Now. We can find such happiness by appreciating every single moment.

Such as dishes. Focusing on how the warm water feels soothing against my fingertips, and how the light bouncing so beautifully against the soap bubbles and causes rainbows to dance against the porcelain of plates, and how it feels GOOD to wash away dirt and grime and make things clean again. Add in amazing music, when I can appreciate the happiness of a good beat and swaying hips and laughing at the pure joy of it all.

It's about finding joy and appreciation in even the most "boring" of activities. Basically, appreciating every moment of Now. Not letting yourself drift away into a world of daydreams, but remaining in the moment - and finding the perfection and happiness that can lie within... That's how you can truly be happy with your world and your life and yourself.

As someone who usually juggles a half dozen activities at once, this is definitely a struggle for me. But I'm determined to master it some day. ^_^

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I love mindfulness

I prefer it to other forms of meditation because it's not about "making your mind to blank" it's just about focusing on what is and when a thought comes up you accept it and move on without judgement.

There's a really cute video by a Buddhist monk talking about monkey mind on YouTube, I'm on my phone though so I can't link it

I've always naturally done certain elements of mindfulness meditation, sometimes focusing outwardly, sometimes inwardly, but because I'm studying psychology I decided to read more extensively into it.

I've definitely noticed an improvement on my mental wellbeing when I'm regularly practising.
It really helps with hard exercise in the gym, when I'm getting to a point I just close my eyes while doing it and my mind goes calm and the pain stops.

Where do people like to meditate?
I love going outside, though sometimes bugs crawl on me and tickle me and same happens with my hair in the wind, I find it a really calming environment. Problem is, in England it rains so much!
I'm finding my flat a pain as people are always coming and going, they say you shouldn't meditate in the bedroom but honestly I don't think I'll have a choice once summer is gone!

 

[SandyPanz]

I have trouble achieving "Flow" while cleaning - but I know that exact same feeling. I get it while I am writing or while I am crafting - perhaps painting or bent over a sewing machine with scraps of fabric surrounding me. It isn't zoning out... Not really. It is just being so intensely focused on your project that nothing else exists.

The world fades away. I fade away. There is nothing but my hands and my tools and the creation unfolding before me, blooming more beautifully than I had imagined. And there is nothing but satisfaction and happiness. It is losing yourself in the now, in your creation (or action, in the case of mundane activities). There is no anxiety. There is not sadness. There are no thoughts. It is just... pure being. Immersing yourself so completely into your project that it feels as if you are apart of it. Or it is an extension of you. Sometimes, I can achieve the same feeling while dancing. Feeling the music pulse, aware of each nerve dancing in my body, aware of each movement of muscle, feeling free in a way that words cannot describe. Feeling both free and yet a part of everything, all at once. It's.... almost pure euphoria.

It is truly one of my favorite feelings in the entire universe. And it is a bit of a high. i wish I could achieve that feeling with mundane activities - I think that takes a bit more discipline than I have (right now).

For mundage activities, I try to think of the book, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, though it has been a while since I have read it. Normally, I am used to spending such mundane activities brainstorming novel plots and just zoning out and daydreaming. But Tolle speaks about how much humans spend too much time thinking of the future - daydreaming about days that might never come or reminiscing of the past, that the present, the NOW gets completely forgotten. But the now is all we have, really. So by being aware of each moment as it happens, and appreciating it, we shall be much more mindful of our life. Appreciating each moment, whether it is big and adventurous or small and mundane - the point is to focus on what is happening Now. We can find such happiness by appreciating every single moment.

Such as dishes. Focusing on how the warm water feels soothing against my fingertips, and how the light bouncing so beautifully against the soap bubbles and causes rainbows to dance against the porcelain of plates, and how it feels GOOD to wash away dirt and grime and make things clean again. Add in amazing music, when I can appreciate the happiness of a good beat and swaying hips and laughing at the pure joy of it all.

It's about finding joy and appreciation in even the most "boring" of activities. Basically, appreciating every moment of Now. Not letting yourself drift away into a world of daydreams, but remaining in the moment - and finding the perfection and happiness that can lie within... That's how you can truly be happy with your world and your life and yourself.

As someone who usually juggles a half dozen activities at once, this is definitely a struggle for me. But I'm determined to master it some day. ^_^

Happy Birthday!

As a fellow daydream drifter I wholeheartedly agree-it is valuable practice for relocating the present...Thank you for sharing the details of your experiences flowing at home! I can find flow while cycling (I can totally relate to your feeling of oneness-it's as if my bike and body fuse!), but around the house I feel more susceptible to reliving the past or preliving the future. But I've noticed even when I take small steps, such as deepening my breath while I tidy, I get closer to flow. The more air I draw in, the more smells I notice, and the more smelling I do, the deeper I breathe...

 

[Ambers Troll]

@paige_orion you are awesome.. happy birthday, and your post earlier exactly describes the feeling of flow.

 

[Osmia]

The September issue of Lion's Roar (formerly Shambhala Sun) has a whole section on the topic of mindfulness.

 

[MFCGod]

Personal Bill of Rights

Just out of interest, who is that list directed at? is this an inner battle between your positive and negative mind or something reactive to other peoples opinions of you

 

[SandyPanz]

Just out of interest, who is that list directed at? is this an inner battle between your positive and negative mind or something reactive to other peoples opinions of you

Both. I was raised to believe and behave as if the opposite of that list is true. Even now that it's clear how poisonous living that way is (not only for my personal well-being but also for anyone interacting with me), my perceptions and emotional reactions still attempt to align with that original belief, and my behavior settles into the same old story, with a disappointing, but familiar ending. The list reminds me to stop and internally challenge the schema weighing me down. Those affirmations are also useful in handling/ dismissing unfair/unhealthy demands from others (especially with those who have known me long, and so expect me to continue behaving the same way). This practice is changing the way I see myself and I like to believe that it's also changing the way I'm seen...but I think the more I internalize the values on that list, the less external opinions matter...

 

[SandyPanz]

 

[ShilohGables]

to me, mindfulness is all about being present. taking the time to see what is going on in the moment and not let my head distract or change my reality.