Purchasing menu items for other members?

[ACFFAN69]

I'm curious on peoples opinion of a member purchasing things for other members on a models menu (videos, song requests, etc)? I do this every so often to attempt to promote a fun chat environment. I always send a ninja tip beforehand asking her permission and I generally do it as a ninja tip. I figured whenever someone purchases something for me I always appreciated it, so what could be the harm?

I never really saw anything wrong with it, but I've spent some time thinking and I'm starting to wonder if it's something I should stop doing?

I'm worried some members might see it as "showing off", condescending or an act of charity (although I always keep it to tippers or celebrities only). I could also see some models not liking it for various reasons. For example they might not want to "push their wares" onto members that haven't outright said they want them. Some might also see it as an incursion on their ability to run the room. There's also the possibility that members that aren't getting gifts will feel "left out" or "not in the clique". There's obviously a ton of negatives that I could be missing that your input could fill in.

What's your thoughts? I'm curious of the opinion of both members and models alike.

 

[dilligaf0]

I've only experienced this in one room, but the way it was handled was nice.
First, the model was asked if it was okay with her.
Second, the "gift" was mentioned in a "model only" tip note, but the tip was public.
Third, the member receiving the "gift" was notified by P.M. by the model.
The gift was from a room regular to another room regular.

 

[JoleneBrody]

You asking permission privately first is awesome! I have a pretty strict rule against it in my room so it is very uncomfortable when someone tips without asking first. It's almost always left up to me who to gift it to as well, which is an even bigger problem.

The main reason I stopped allowing it years ago was because people would buy raffle tickets for a room reg chatter who had maybe tipped me a total of 11 tokens in the couple years they've been hanging out, unknown to the nice member who tipped for them. They are nice enough to get to hang out in my room but winning a likely very expensive prize for a cheap raffle ticket they didn't even tip for themselves, feels pretty shitty to me. the majority of these members do not need pity prize tips, they are making a personal decision not to tip most of the time unrelated to their finances.

 

[Shaun__]

I would feel icky if a member was buying me stuff.

 

[AmberCutie]

There's a couple members in my room who used to be able to tip very lavishly and have since had to slow down. When the other regulars in the room occasionally tip to give these guys stuff, It's no problem at all and I'm happy to.

I have a current promotion going for this special month that I specifically say in the details that the members can gift Stars to other members. But it's a slightly high-cost deal, so no one has really done it yet, but I'd be totally fine with it if they did, because I'm inviting it.

I don't really like gifting stuff to newcomers. Especially if it's something near and dear to me, like a raffle ticket to win panties, or baked goods. (I want people who I know and appreciate me enough to tip for themselves to participate in those things.)

It's almost always left up to me who to gift it to as well, which is an even bigger problem.

It does sort of put a halt in whatever I'm doing and distract me when I have to scroll through the list of people in my room to decide who deserves a gift. I'm not a huge fan of people dropping tips to randomly gift vids/content to people. It happens sometimes, and I deal with it on a case by case basis, but in general I'm not a fan of it.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I'm curious on peoples opinion of a member purchasing things for other members on a models menu (videos, song requests, etc)? I do this every so often to attempt to promote a fun chat environment. I always send a ninja tip beforehand asking her permission and I generally do it as a ninja tip. I figured whenever someone purchases something for me I always appreciated it, so what could be the harm?

I never really saw anything wrong with it, but I've spent some time thinking and I'm starting to wonder if it's something I should stop doing?

I'm worried some members might see it as "showing off", condescending or an act of charity (although I always keep it to tippers or celebrities only). I could also see some models not liking it for various reasons. For example they might not want to "push their wares" onto members that haven't outright said they want them. Some might also see it as an incursion on their ability to run the room. There's also the possibility that members that aren't getting gifts will feel "left out" or "not in the clique". There's obviously a ton of negatives that I could be missing that your input could fill in.

What's your thoughts? I'm curious of the opinion of both members and models alike.

I think there had been a time when one of my favorite, very generous regulars bought a video or some raffle tickets for a member who hardly ever tipped (though he was in my room all the time, telling people "She's cool, and doesn't even mind if you don't tip her, just as long as you're chatting" - *facepalm*). Despite the fact that it was a nice gesture on the regular's part, it annoyed me a bit that he was rewarding this guy with the chance of winning a Skype show or custom video. Call me crazy, but I'm not thrilled with the idea of a person who doesn't tip actually winning a raffle...when there are other members trying to win it...who were willing to spend their hard-earned money on me.

I think what dilligaf0 posted is a good way to go about it, though. Privately ask the model beforehand if it's okay. And then she can PM the other member about it.

You have a good heart, so just proceed with caution because with the way some people are...when you do something nice for them once, they start to EXPECT it from you again.

 

[JoleneBrody]

There's a couple members in my room who used to be able to tip very lavishly and have since had to slow down. When the other regulars in the room occasionally tip to give these guys stuff, It's no problem at all and I'm happy to.

I have a current promotion going for this special month that I specifically say in the details that the members can gift Stars to other members. But it's a slightly high-cost deal, so no one has really done it yet, but I'd be totally fine with it if they did, because I'm inviting it.

I don't really like gifting stuff to newcomers. Especially if it's something near and dear to me, like a raffle ticket to win panties, or baked goods. (I want people who I know and appreciate me enough to tip for themselves to participate in those things.)



It does sort of put a halt in whatever I'm doing and distract me when I have to scroll through the list of people in my room to decide who deserves a gift. I'm not a huge fan of people dropping tips to randomly gift vids/content to people. It happens sometimes, and I deal with it on a case by case basis, but in general I'm not a fan of it.

Also add the fact that you are noe having to play favorites in sorts, and will likely be disappointing a handful of people you don't pick. That's a lot of pressure!

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

You asking permission privately first is awesome! I have a pretty strict rule against it in my room so it is very uncomfortable when someone tips without asking first. It's almost always left up to me who to gift it to as well, which is an even bigger problem.

The main reason I stopped allowing it years ago was because people would buy raffle tickets for a room reg chatter who had maybe tipped me a total of 11 tokens in the couple years they've been hanging out, unknown to the nice member who tipped for them. They are nice enough to get to hang out in my room but winning a likely very expensive prize for a cheap raffle ticket they didn't even tip for themselves, feels pretty shitty to me. the majority of these members do not need pity prize tips, they are making a personal decision not to tip most of the time unrelated to their finances.

That's a really interesting perspective Jolene. I've done it the past, and on couple occasion had people do it for me. I pretty much always ask the model first, and generally it is for something like a contest where I have most of the models content. Often in the form of I'll donate my prize to the next person who buys a balloon/gets a number. I also would never ask the model to chose the receiptant which seems unfair to the model. There are times I've done it where I'm sure it was the right thing to do. The guy who was a really generous tipper last week, but this week is out of tokens and the model has a great new video, which he said he wanted. He spent 2,000 tokens last week to finish a countdown so buying him a 150 video this week seems perfectly reasonable.

However, I've done exactly what you said bought raffle tickets for the talkers hardly ever tippers. I think in the future, I won't and you are correct that's a mistake. I use to think the talkers/not tipper was mostly
starving college kids, but I've come to realize it is often unrelated to personal finances.

 

[Azhrarn]

In one room I frequent it's a common practice and actually encouraged. People who tip large and tip often sometimes have to struggle to find reasons to tip, so tipping for another member is as good a reason as any other. Sometimes it's a reward to members who generally tip but are temporarily broke; sometimes it's a gift to newbies to encourage them to become regulars. Of course nothing is without pitfalls. Some people might see it as showing off, but then again, showing off is often a factor in most tipping, so if you're going to show off why not do some good at the same time? Sometimes it encourages people to beg, which is frowned upon. In those cases the model and/or room helpers can intervene as necessary.

 

[Jimmy9]

Personally I wouldn't like it if someone bought me something. It sort of implies that I'm cheap because I'm not tipping, and I don't really like getting stuff for free anyway. I think if you feel like being generous you should match tips or raffle tickets instead, so people can feel like they're contributing as well. You may even get people to tip who wouldn't normally if they know their tip will be doubled.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I have to say the matching tips, or offering your prize to the next person to participate in the game is totally cool IMO, because that's encouraging people to tip themselves rather than just giving something to someone who didn't really put forth the effort to earn it.

I'm more than cool with those types of situations.

 

[dilligaf0]

The best time to have a model pick who the gift goes to is if there are members that have most or all of her content.
She can look up and see who needs what.

 

[Gen]

The best time to have a model pick who the gift goes to is if there are members that have most or all of her content.
She can look up and see who needs what.

That sounds like a lot of work for the lady! I personally (on mfc) don't track who has what video, but even if I did, I'm not sure I'd want to start doing that during a show (or even after, haha). Not to say models shouldn't work for our tips but that seems really tedious and expects a lot from her (in the sense that she'd have all that info at the ready).

 

[CharlotteLace]

I definitely dislike it. I get so many dudes coming in demanding/begging for freebies, and now and then my regulars will tip on their behalf. It's always my newest dudes who don't know how my room runs, and it makes me feel shitty to make an example out of a well-meaning gesture.

But letting newcomers get rewarded for acting entitled? Learning that decent guys will cover their freeloading ass in my room? Nope. I'd rather not get the tip than have to deal with un-teaching that bad habit. I actually took flashes off my menu to prevent this issue, it was getting ridiculous.

The worst was when a dude would come in and ask for a birthday flash, and somebody would pay for him. Of course they wouldn't know that member had had six "birthdays" that week alone.

 

[Azhrarn]

I definitely dislike it. I get so many dudes coming in demanding/begging for freebies, and now and then my regulars will tip on their behalf. It's always my newest dudes who don't know how my room runs, and it makes me feel shitty to make an example out of a well-meaning gesture.

But letting newcomers get rewarded for acting entitled? Learning that decent guys will cover their freeloading ass in my room? Nope. I'd rather not get the tip than have to deal with un-teaching that bad habit. I actually took flashes off my menu to prevent this issue, it was getting ridiculous.

The worst was when a dude would come in and ask for a birthday flash, and somebody would pay for him. Of course they wouldn't know that member had had six "birthdays" that week alone.

Sort of feel like people are getting somewhat the wrong idea. No one is encouraging freeloading or begging. The people who get items are people who usually tip as i said above. In the case of "newbs", in the most recent example I can think of, it was a basic who tipped his first 200. That's a big deal. So another member purchased a gift for him that would specifically encourage him to visit her room more.

 

[AmberCutie]

People who tip large and tip often sometimes have to struggle to find reasons to tip, so tipping for another member is as good a reason as any other.

It sorta seems odd to say that a generous tipper needs a reason to tip other than to support his favorite model.

 

[Azhrarn]

It sorta seems odd to say that a generous tipper needs a reason to tip other than to support his favorite model.

Well, I'm deliberately trying to be vague. Here I'm referring to a whale who already has all content, and is trying not to give other guys the expectation that he's always going to help with the counts. Also, there's the resentment that might occur when you see a small group of people consistently winning all the prizes. So matching tips is one solution. But specifically with regards to prizes, some solutions I've seen are: 1) tip but specify your tip doesn't count towards prize; 2) give your prize to someone else, or 3) just buy a prize outright for another member. There are still other alternatives too, but I'm not going to go into those because they are too room specific.

 

[TacoBelle]

This is a frequent occurrence in my room. I have a handful of regulars that will (almost nightly) tip for another member to play a game or have a song request. I love the camaraderie that stems from it. However, it has caused negative effects:

1) The non-tipping regulars start to expect it. One reg that was in my room had never tipped, but the other regs would always buy games for her. So every game night, she would lament about not having tokens. "Oh, I wish I could play. I wish I could afford it. I hate not being able to afford things!" and they would buy them for her. That was annoying, but it got worse. Eventually, she would come in and bluntly say, "Does anyone have a free game I can use?" I finally had to message the main tippers and ask that they stop tipping for her after that. Needless to say, she stopped coming around.

2) There are a few members who have tokens, but not enough for whatever I'm selling. So they tip it, just because, instead of saving up for the bigger ticket item. Another regular will be kind and tip the remaining amount for the video or whatever with a tip note that says, "Add this to JimBob's tip so he can get the video!" NO. I hate this. If JimBob or the other member had asked me before, I probably would have been ok with it. But I've since made a rule that it has to be agreed upon beforehand.

3) I have had to bake and mail cookies to a user who was only in my room for 5 minutes, only talked a few times, and never saw again... simply because someone bought him a raffle ticket. Well, he came in afterwards to tell me that the cookies were great, but that was it. I've had to mail cookies to regulars who have never tipped because of the same reason. I'm more ok with that because they actively participate in the room. They help make it a fun and lively place.

As for choosing who to give the prize to: I often get regs that tip for a free song request/raffle ticket/whatever for someone in the room. Instead of me showing favoritism, I reward the members that are actively listening. I say that it'll go to the 3rd handraiser. So everyone listening posts an emote of a hand, and the 3rd person gets it. It sometimes is someone who never tips, but I'm more ok with it because they're actually participating.


I know that these don't all pertain to your situation, OP. But I think they might help other models who are in similar predicaments.

 

[Roger]

Yet another interesting topic I have stumbled across! I am usually a big proponent of the "pay it forward" mentality. I love random acts of kindness in hopes it can spread (ok...maybe buying that Starbucks coffee for the cute girl behind me is not really random ). I never really considered a downside to tipping for someone else's enjoyment, but can certainly understand for the reasons that have been stated. The important takeaway for me on this topic is to certainly ask the model privately first before proceeding with tipping for another.

 

[Azhrarn]

The rewarding of raffle tickets is something I really don't like for exactly those reasons. The first two examples you gave of course are forms of begging. But instead of messaging the tipping members, wouldn't it be easier to just message the beggars themselves, or posting a general statement/rule in your public chat? In my experience, the camaraderie that develops is great, as long as you discourage begging at the same time.

In general though, I too see very little downside to "random acts of kindness", and have to question a certain mean spiritedness which is coming across in certain cases.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Sort of feel like people are getting somewhat the wrong idea. No one is encouraging freeloading or begging. The people who get items are people who usually tip as i said above. In the case of "newbs", in the most recent example I can think of, it was a basic who tipped his first 200. That's a big deal. So another member purchased a gift for him that would specifically encourage him to visit her room more.

She was sharing her personal experience and personal opinion on those personal experiences... I'm not sure why you are disagreeing with her personal experience. :/ it is what it is and she feel the way she feels.

 

[Azhrarn]

She was sharing her personal experience and personal opinion on those personal experiences... I'm not sure why you are disagreeing with her personal experience. :/ it is what it is and she feel the way she feels.

I wasn't disagreeing with her. I was trying to explain I was referring to something different. I have said repeatedly, in several threads, that freeloading/begging is not something to be encouraged/tolerated, but there are a number of situations where tipping on behalf of others can be useful.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I wasn't disagreeing with her. I was trying to explain I was referring to something different. I have said repeatedly, in several threads, that freeloading/begging is not something to be encouraged/tolerated, but there are a number of situations where tipping on behalf of others can be useful.

She was responding in general to the OP, not to you directly. Maybe you were missing that.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

People who tip large and tip often sometimes have to struggle to find reasons to tip, so tipping for another member is as good a reason as any other.

It sorta seems odd to say that a generous tipper needs a reason to tip other than to support his favorite model.

Perhaps it does, but I think it is pretty common. Tipping is pretty transactional on MFC, I give you so many tokens you flash, do the chicken dance, spank, or send me a video. This is different than in IRL where you tip after the fact as reward for good or at least some service. An important exception is the after the cum show tip. I do make some just because tips, but I prefer not to because then it feels like an act of charity and to be honest there are literally a billion people who have more need of my charity than the average camgirl. So I often do some mental gymnastic to convince myself that I'm tipping for something, even if it gift for another member.

 

[dilligaf0]

People who tip large and tip often sometimes have to struggle to find reasons to tip, so tipping for another member is as good a reason as any other.


Perhaps it does, but I think it is pretty common. Tipping is pretty transactional on MFC, I give you so many tokens you flash, do the chicken dance, spank, or send me a video. This is different than in IRL where you tip after the fact as reward for good or at least some service. An important exception is the after the cum show tip. I do make some just because tips, but I prefer not to because then it feels like an act of charity and to be honest there are literally a billion people who have more need of my charity than the average camgirl. So I often do some mental gymnastic to convince myself that I'm tipping for something, even if it gift for another member.

My big tips are to see the model be speechless.

 

[Azhrarn]

She was responding in general to the OP, not to you directly. Maybe you were missing that.

Yes, I did. Sometimes I'm narcissistic like that.

 

[weirdbr]

It sorta seems odd to say that a generous tipper needs a reason to tip other than to support his favorite model.

It does feel odd, but there's some models that feel uncomfortable about 'just because' tips, so if you are a regular that tips frequently you might get to a point where you need to find 'excuses' to tip.. Or you end up just tipping for flashes, spanks, etc all the time to not make her uncomfortable. ( I could write a long dissertation about why I disagree with that, but well.. their room, their rules).

Personally I don't frequently buy stuff for other members as I can see how that would be problematic as others mentioned, but every once in a while I will do it if it's for a regular as long as we have a good relationship (both member to member and member to model) and they tip whenever they can, since that helps with the atmosphere of the room being just a bunch of like-minded people hanging out.

 

[Protocosmo]

It sorta seems odd to say that a generous tipper needs a reason to tip other than to support his favorite model.

I prefer to support whatever any given model has got going on. Be it a game, raffle, countdown or a new video. "Just because" tips are great. All tips are! But I like to save my tips so I can participate in things and help make a model's extra efforts worthwhile. Come to think of it, for me, there really is no such thing as a "just because" tip... Every one of my tips are me saying, "I like you. I like what you do, I want you to keep camming!"

As for tipping for others. I'm kinda mixed. I usually do it because others have often done it for me. Way often. With the exception of a couple of members, it largely makes me feel uncomfortable being tipped for. I do agree with what most people have said about tipping for non-tippers. It's not something I've really thought about and I'm glad this came up. Also, when it comes to raffles, I want all the tickets for me!!!!!

 

[AmberCutie]

I have had to bake and mail cookies to a user who was only in my room for 5 minutes, only talked a few times, and never saw again... simply because someone bought him a raffle ticket.

I've had one instance in the past that someone gifted a brand-newcomer a raffle ticket. The raffle was for an item to be shipped out to the winner, which then lists my PO box return address, takes physical off-cam effort and time on my part...

I denied it. I do not feel someone whom has never tipped, nor has learned the ways of my room, should be entitled to win something like that without their own effort. It created a silly weird fight in my room over it, and needless to say I never saw that person again.

But I'd make this same decision again in a heartbeat.

 

[Protocosmo]

But I'd make this same decision again in a heartbeat.

I've seen it happen as a member and it was a real, "yay," moment for me. To have bought all those raffle tickets and see that some guy I never even saw once win it... Bleh. Don't get me wrong, I'm usually pretty satisfied when another regular wins!