What do you do when....

[IsabellaSnow]

We're running a business, it isn't anything personal, it is just how it is.
It really depends on what's making us money most of the time.

If you tip a bit, then are a douche which means others won't tip, and continue being a douche, then you're out.

If you make the model so uncomfortable she can't work. Then she's no longer earning, so you're out.

If you're a high tipper but are rude to those who never tip, well, I personally don't like that kind of behaviour, but if you tip enough/more than I'd earn anyway every single night, well, I'd possibly humour you, depending if I got along with you as a person.
I don't mind my regulars having a bit of a laugh if someone's being a total asshat and is making horrible comments to me etc just before I ban, but otherwise if the guy's just a bit of a idiot, I'll be the one to tell him and don't like anyone being rude to others.

Most of the time, I'd say it just isn't worth it! I'm usually very quick to ban if someone starts acting nasty.

Fact is though, although yes it is easy to insult and offend over the net, if you're consistently being banned from chat rooms, then although it's not personal between you and the model, you should maybe take it on board seriously. If all you have to do is type a bit for someone to tell if you're a bellend/crazy, it might be telling you something!

I have had no experience with you hornygods, so this is just from what I've read here, but someone was saying in your writing style that you're intelligent. If that is true then you'd think you'd be bright enough to know what to say/what not to say. It's pretty easy to not get banned from a room, everyone knows how guys get banned, yet so many go and do it anyway. Unless you're setting out to piss models off then that to me=moron.

If you don't wanna get banned, don't get banned, it's your choice what you type! It's not like anyone's judging you because of looks etc

 

[JoleneBrody]

If you think I've got nothing, then what are these responses then?

Over worded excuses and reasoning that makes no sense? Purty much.

 

[AllisonWilder]

If you think I've got nothing, then what are these responses then?

Still nothing. :lol:

 

[hornygods]

@Julia - when did I say that all bad member behaviour should be met with a ban? How are you defining a 'troll'? Have you seen the conduct that I'm referring to?

... you've got a regular in your room who tips well, and tips often.... but is a jerk to everyone else in the room? I'm more curious to understand the perspective of those who don't ban and/or ignore these members.

Is it really worth it? If so, why?

I was responding to the original question you posed in this thread, and most of the responses have talked about this from "to ban, or not to ban" perspective. You even pose your initial question pretty generally, specifically seeking responses from those who don't ban. I feel that there are a number of appropriate, timely responses to inappropriate member conduct - banning isn't usually my first course of action with supportive regulars. The rest of my response was illustrating why.

It's not mere 'calling out freeloaders' as you suggest, rather - it's harassment of the members who don't have the tokens to tip. There's a considerable difference between the two, but you've probably overlooked that part.

This just makes you sound like a huge dick, tbh. Was I supposed to infer that from "is a jerk to everyone else in the room"? It's not my obligation in responding to this thread to go perv on the model you initially pretended it wasn't about. I can't "overlook" information that I'm not privy too.

It's pretty clear already from some of the posts in this thread who I'm referring to, so I wouldn't delve any further into speculation. If you're going to discuss mental issues - that's their own responsibility, in all honesty. If it's taken out on other members in the room, which it has been and continues to be, then I fail to see how autism could be considered a good reason to keep someone in the room.

Yes, I did notice that while this started off as a more general discussion, you were in fact poorly disguising a complaint you had with a particular model. I think we've all gathered that. Good form! :thumbleft:

Because I haven't observed much personally, I chose to reply based only on my own experiences. Which have included calling out members privately on shitty behaviour when I had more information about a situation than I was interested in disclosing in public chat - including mental health issues. I wasn't actually using my experience to infer that the member in this case had mental health problems. It was an example I used to illustrate how members don't always have all the information about situations, and might be better off letting models decide how to handle specific conflicts/run their rooms.

I fail to see what you're trying to suggest when you're telling me that I should contribute when I've already done so at the time. For the record, I've been a long-time regular of the room before I was banned.

To summarize:

Don't assume because things aren't handled loud and clear in public that a model isn't trying to manage a situation. So much of camming is behind the scenes - including our relationships/friendships with members

I'd wager that a lot of these situations are more complex than members bad behaviour simply being excused because they've "bought their way out of it". I second the suggestions to place these kinds of members on ignore, and if you really want to help out, contribute to her count.

I did't say you didn't contribute. I guess I just don't see the point of complaining without trying to seek some type of proactive response to improve things. Obviously you're not really seeking any resolution at this point, but if someone else came to this thread with the intention of improving a similar situation, I still think being supportive or ignoring the member could be a helpful course of action. Those were my thoughts on how things might be improved from a member perspective. I still feel that ultimately this type of conflict is between a member and a model.

I made specific references to a specific form of member conduct. The least you could do if you were concerned about ambiguity is to simply ask for clarification. I can't see why you must assume that it was a personal vendetta. Of course, you can overlook things within scenarios presented in the posts.

It was inspired from an inkling of dislike with another member, so it does have many references to a particular member/room in this thread. Of course, you had a point on why some members are kept - but that is slightly beyond the scope of this thread. Is it really a good reason to keep an asshole who tips a lot because their asshole-behaviour comes from having mental health issues?

As for seeking some kind of proactive response to improve things - if we're referencing my personal experience, that has already happened but wasn't very effective. The course of action which proceeded was the drama which ensued.

 

[hornygods]

If you think I've got nothing, then what are these responses then?

Over worded excuses and reasoning that makes no sense? Purty much.

They're reasoning by definition, not excuses. I'd like to know how they make no sense though, feel free to elaborate if you wish.

If you think I've got nothing, then what are these responses then?

Still nothing. :lol:

Okay. If that's the case, there's obviously no discussion with you.

I -made- people uncomfortable, and I'm awfully aware of that - but that doesn't change the fact that there was an asshat high-tipper in the room who caused a commotion.

You seem to be saying that both you and the high-tipper made people uncomfortable. If you were going to get rid of one annoyance who would you pick as a model?

'Uncomfortable' might be a little too general, but you're referencing two different periods. I made the model uncomfortable in a way that's very different to how the high-tipper made the room uncomfortable. One was just coming across as too attached, the other was harassing and flaming pretty much everyone else in the room. I'm the former.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Ok.... don't know if you ever tip the models, but if a guy is being an arsehole and isn't tipping there is no decision, they go, immediately.

If someone behaves badly yet is tipping/contributing then that's very different! its like you'll put up with family/friends being idiots, because you love them even if no one else does, but if someone else does that, well yeah, they can fuck off.

If you're a high tipper, and I don't know how high we're talking, but in ways they're treating you well, when most of the other people in there are just waiting/watching for a free show/getting free entertainment. Why would you kick out the person who's paying your bills to save the feelings of those who never plan on helping you out at all?

 

[Cassidy Nicole]

This whole thing can be summed to this... The positives with keeping the high tipping guys out weighed the positives with keeping you around. End of story.

 

[NoelleBright]

You are taking this way too seriously.
This thread is 4 pages long and it has gone absolutely nowhere and it's just going to continue going in circles.
Turn off the computer, get up, and go outside for a walk and get some fresh air.
MFC is supposed to be FUN but you're sucking it dry with shit like this.

 

[mynameisbob84]

'Uncomfortable' might be a little too general, but you're referencing two different periods. I made the model uncomfortable in a way that's very different to how the high-tipper made the room uncomfortable. One was just coming across as too attached, the other was harassing and flaming pretty much everyone else in the room. I'm the former.

It seems like a pretty easy decision to make, dood.

"Do I ban the guy who tips a lot but annoys some of my regulars?

OR

Do I ban the guy who doesn't tip much and annoys ME?"

If I'm a model, I know which option I'm picking...

 

[GoddessAiren]

:auto-crash:

I was looking for a train wreck emoticon but there isn't one so I guess this will suffice.

 

[Shaun__]

I -made- people uncomfortable, and I'm awfully aware of that - but that doesn't change the fact that there was an asshat high-tipper in the room who caused a commotion.

You seem to be saying that both you and the high-tipper made people uncomfortable. If you were going to get rid of one annoyance who would you pick as a model?

'Uncomfortable' might be a little too general, but you're referencing two different periods. I made the model uncomfortable in a way that's very different to how the high-tipper made the room uncomfortable. One was just coming across as too attached, the other was harassing and flaming pretty much everyone else in the room. I'm the former.

I had falling outs with several models as you know, and that making the model uncomfortable is more important than you seem to think it is. The worst part about when it happened was if they had just told me I would have stopped what ever it was, or left. One decided she would just take my money until she snapped one day and everybody remembers the several page thread of people calling me stupid another instance caused. Talking from the perspective of someone who is often misunderstood by people I recommend dropping this and moving on.

 

[sweetiebatman]

Well, THIS thread didn't go as the OP intended :lol:

But seriously now Horny, stop it, you are coming across a little (well alright a lot...) bitter and its clear to anyone with eyes you were asking a pointed question with your original post as you have been "outed" by not one, not two, but 3 models now

 

[hornygods]

As for Jessi's response - I have yet to write a full reply, as she's the only one who knows the complete backstory that dates back through several months. She does omit several things, all from her own perspective - I think there might be something to be learnt if we shared perspectives from both sides of the coin.

You seem to be super in love with rationalizing away everything in your path, because you got bullied in high school for being a nerd and that's your only recourse to deal with people who have better social skills than you.

So let me make this very, very clear:

Nobody gives a good fuck about you.

You seem to think you're some sad martyr that people need to understand. You seem to think that you're a tragic story of some MFC underdog who hates a model's room but can't leave because he's a "long-time" regular, even when you were banned from said room and aren't welcome there.

Absolutely nobody is saying, "well yeah, I feel that model should give a long and reasoned argument and debate over why she banned a single douche from her room." Except for you, because you can't fucking let it go.

I don't know if you have Aspergers or OCD or you just like stalking women who loathe you, but dude, just fucking let it go.

Nobody cares about your sad story of you getting banned from a model's room.

I hear stories about you all the time and none of them have been positive. If you care about any models at all, get off of MFC and leave them the fuck alone. But you don't, because it's all about you.

Jessi does not owe anyone an explanation. Neither does Jolene or any of the other models you've pissed off by being a pedantic fuck.

You are not going to save your reputation by forcing a model who banned you from her room to give a detailed explanation of every negative behavior you presented to force yourself out.

Nobody cares that you, a non-high-tipping asshole was banned, but a high-tipping asshole was not banned. Leave it the fuck alone you dumb fuck.

Right. You can make these assertions about 'bullied in highschool' based on my posts. That's not a logical leap at all! And you think I'm the one being argumentative here?

You seem to think that I'm the wrong-doer. You seem to think that posting vicious diatribe is considered 'an appropriate, reasonable response'. I don't expect a scholarly response - I expect one that is at least logically sound. It's not difficult - argument supported by relevant reasoning. Assumptions and accusations I would not respond with passively - that's willfully misconstruing a situation.

Rumours are just that - rumours. Stories are never going to present the full situation, as their very nature does not intend to. It's completely littered with personal biases. I don't know who would write stories of something nice that anyone has done, at least in the context of member behaviour (unless it's extraordinary).

Okay, since you obviously think you know better than me of what happened in a room - what did I get banned for? No, you can't cop-out by quoting Jessi's post, nor draw anything from mine.

I'm a pedantic fuck? Yeah, right. I don't bend over backwards and accept your responses so you're name-calling. That's cool. If nobody truly cares about me, then nobody would bother with making responses. That's clearly not the case.

We're running a business, it isn't anything personal, it is just how it is.
It really depends on what's making us money most of the time.

If you tip a bit, then are a douche which means others won't tip, and continue being a douche, then you're out.

If you make the model so uncomfortable she can't work. Then she's no longer earning, so you're out.

If you're a high tipper but are rude to those who never tip, well, I personally don't like that kind of behaviour, but if you tip enough/more than I'd earn anyway every single night, well, I'd possibly humour you, depending if I got along with you as a person.
I don't mind my regulars having a bit of a laugh if someone's being a total asshat and is making horrible comments to me etc just before I ban, but otherwise if the guy's just a bit of a idiot, I'll be the one to tell him and don't like anyone being rude to others.

Most of the time, I'd say it just isn't worth it! I'm usually very quick to ban if someone starts acting nasty.

Fact is though, although yes it is easy to insult and offend over the net, if you're consistently being banned from chat rooms, then although it's not personal between you and the model, you should maybe take it on board seriously. If all you have to do is type a bit for someone to tell if you're a bellend/crazy, it might be telling you something!

I have had no experience with you hornygods, so this is just from what I've read here, but someone was saying in your writing style that you're intelligent. If that is true then you'd think you'd be bright enough to know what to say/what not to say. It's pretty easy to not get banned from a room, everyone knows how guys get banned, yet so many go and do it anyway. Unless you're setting out to piss models off then that to me=moron.

If you don't wanna get banned, don't get banned, it's your choice what you type! It's not like anyone's judging you because of looks etc

I don't really feel like making an overly elaborate response to cover all your points, but I really don't think you know exactly what happened. I'm not sure whether you're trying to claim that I'm the person who's making others uncomfortable, or whether you're describing my hypothetical. If the latter, thanks for the insight. I really appreciate some of the more respectful posts in the rather chaotic and feisty discussion.

@Noelle - Yeah, the thread's not progressing because it's just bitter attacks on eachother now. I'll finish composing my response to Jessi and let the thread die after.

@Shaun_ - I remember reading that. I love being misinterpreted as to how I made a model uncomfortable though. That's cool.

 

[AllisonWilder]

Dude, if it's taking you this long to compose a response to Jessi then it's clearly too long.

 

[AmazingAshlee]

omfg horny, just SHUT UP and get a new hobby for Christ's sake!

 

[hornygods]

@Amazing - you don't have to participate in the discussion if you don't want to. There's no obligation to read my responses.

 

[NoelleBright]

Dude, if it's taking you this long to compose a response to Jessi then it's clearly too long.

He's busy backing up his reasoning with direct quotes and references and will be posting it in MLA format.

 

[Cassidy Nicole]

Dude, if it's taking you this long to compose a response to Jessi then it's clearly too long.

He's busy backing up his reasoning with direct quotes and references and will be posting it in MLA format.

I didn't know this was ENC 101 :?

 

[AmazingAshlee]

this is a MODELS forum... in the ask-a-MODEL section? I will stick up for my fellow models if I choose. You have your answers, now you are just bashing. We come here for support for our ALREADY DIFFICULT JOB, not so that you can ask us why our fellow model isn't doing what you want her to. And honestly, if Amber was as tough on you as you expected Jessi to be on others, you'd be gone- Especially since you have admitted you don't tip well. You have all the wrong ideas about what this forum is about.

 

[Shaun__]

@Shaun_ - I remember reading that. I love being misinterpreted as to how I made a model uncomfortable though. That's cool.

I think my assumption that you made the model uncomfortable is sound, but I would have felt guilty if I did not at least make an effort to help you. I do not think you understand how you made the models feel, and I will again recommend you step away from this thread and think about what they may think of the situation. I am not posting this expecting a reply, I owe some karma and this is just repaying it. I am choosing to believe this is all a big misunderstanding on your part. People gave me the benefit of the doubt and I think I repaid that social kindness today.

 

[Mirra]

I've read all of this craziness after Tweets made me look for this thread. I almost pulled an Abe Simpson on this thread. I'll say a few things.

... you've got a regular in your room who tips well, and tips often.... but is a jerk to everyone else in the room? I'm more curious to understand the perspective of those who don't ban and/or ignore these members.

Is it really worth it? If so, why?

If I was a model (Don't visualize it please) running a room it would be all about math... to a certain extent. If a tipper bothers certain others but not me and my average tokens per hour is higher while they're in the room, I'll tolerate them and ask friends/regulars to try and be understanding. If they alienate the room so much that the average goes down, I tell them once what's up and if they keep it up they're gone. If they bothered me they'd be gone no matter how well they tip.

From a member perspective, I've struggled with a situation where it was me vs. another member. In that case, I felt like the other member was misleading a new model. I felt certain I was in the right. I ended up banned. I was sour about it and am still not thrilled with how it turned out but have had to take responsibility for getting banned because my conduct in the chat was unbecoming. It's tough sometimes but we are guests in the models' rooms. We need to put our feelings on the shelf and just enjoy them and/or support them.

As has been said ad nauseam it is ultimately up to each model to run her room the way she sees fit. If you have a problem with the way she runs her room your options are to put up & shut up or move along.

I will close my post by saying I haven't witnessed many of the other things being recounted in this thread. I honestly don't care. I support every model who has done what she felt needed to be done to maintain the atmosphere she wants.

 

[julia_grey]

I made specific references to a specific form of member conduct. The least you could do if you were concerned about ambiguity is to simply ask for clarification. I can't see why you must assume that it was a personal vendetta. Of course, you can overlook things within scenarios presented in the posts.

It was inspired from an inkling of dislike with another member, so it does have many references to a particular member/room in this thread. Of course, you had a point on why some members are kept - but that is slightly beyond the scope of this thread. Is it really a good reason to keep an asshole who tips a lot because their asshole-behaviour comes from having mental health issues?

Honestly, I'm only replying because it pains me to think anyone else could have misunderstood my posts and come to the same conclusions you have. I don't feel as though I'm under any obligation to research your or any members entire history with a model in question - and I don't care to. "The least you could do"? "I can't see why you must assume that it was a personal vendetta", "you can overlook things within scenarios presented in the posts" - all of these comments? They struck me as rude. I don't even know you,and my original post said nothing to condemn you.

I don't tolerate assholes or asshole-ish behaviour from regs whether they're my highest tipper or not. I wouldn't not ban someone because they were acting like an asshat, but I knew they had problems. There are, however, some really nice guys and people in general (mental health issues or not) who struggle with appropriate responses. This is one of the defining characteristics of autism spectrum disorders - an inability to relate to other people, read social cues, and respond appropriately, which is why I used that example specifically. Some people struggle with this without any disorder to attribute it to. I personally wouldn't tolerate ongoing bad behaviour from any premium, but if I knew, for example, this was a particular issue - I might be actively PMing this person to say "Hey, I appreciate your support & trying to encourage tipping, but that comment might be pretty off-putting to some people", and you might be none the wiser in public chat. If I consider myself invested in the friendship/person, I'm not going to make an example out of them. I was hoping this point kind of spoke to the complexities of human relationships generally - most people are a mixed bag of shitty traits and redeeming qualities, and it's pretty hard to have relationships, friendship or otherwise, that are lasting if you can't sometimes separate people from their actions or act with empathy.

I have banned two high tipping regulars for such behavior, but because of my ongoing friendship with them, all of it was carried out by MFCmail, away from prying eyes. I feel like a public ban of a longterm regular would be almost akin to breaking up with someone on a post-it - unless the behaviour really warrants, I conduct my business behind close doors when it's with people I care about.

P.S. Awkward misplaced thanks. My bad.
P.P.S. TL;DR - I promise I usually value brevity in my posts, but had to make an exception. Sorry, bbs!

 

[hornygods]

I apologize for rudeness. The posts were caught up in a big commotion, so it was harder to write a response neutrally. I can fully relate to when members struggle with responding appropriately, but I guess my initial contention with that was the fact that I was referring to a scenario where that wasn't the cause of the issue, but it does strike a cord with my personal experiences (esp. the quotes from JJ, where I was unaware of what conduct was considered out of line at the time).

I guess you have answered my original question, which I appreciate. Thanks for the response.

 

[JickyJuly]

@Shaun_ - I remember reading that. I love being misinterpreted as to how I made a model uncomfortable though. That's cool.

I think my assumption that you made the model uncomfortable is sound, but I would have felt guilty if I did not at least make an effort to help you. I do not think you understand how you made the models feel, and I will again recommend you step away from this thread and think about what they may think of the situation. I am not posting this expecting a reply, I owe some karma and this is just repaying it. I am choosing to believe this is all a big misunderstanding on your part. People gave me the benefit of the doubt and I think I repaid that social kindness today.

I'm with Shaun on this one. Time to step away and reassess your own actions and how they've brought you to this situation, duder. They way you make people feel, whether based on your intention or a miscommunication, is how they feel. If someone's uncomfortable with you, they are uncomfortable no misinterpretation about it. If you're really a great guy and the world continually "misunderstands" you, at some point it becomes your own doing. Perhaps a class is social etiquette or communications would help. Take some responsibility for your own actions, man. Look at your own faults and own or alter them before you blame the meager brains of others for not understanding you.

 

[sweetiebatman]

No Briton should be arguing on here when when I have just witnessed probably the greatest sporting hour in the countries history, Go Team GB!

Lets all calm down and watch the Lion King! :-D

 

[hornygods]

I've been told that the Brits just won the 10km track

 

[sweetiebatman]

In the last hour we have won

Heptathlon
Long Jump
10k

anyways back on topic to how wrong you are :thumbleft:

 

[SoTxBob]

Can I get a cold beer ? bscene-drinkingcheers:

 

[IsabellaSnow]

everyone is the hero of their own story. No one wants to think they've been a dick, and even if they know they've done wrong they'll make excuses for themselves.

Horny, no I wasn't there so I don't have a perspective of what happened, but I've read through this and seen what the other girls have said and have seen how you've reacted to everything people have said.

What I don't get is that you were basically responding to my post "if you're talking about me f off, but if you're talking about "in general" then thank you so much for your comment" you do know that even "in general" if you are acting as i've said this still applies to you.

All you seem to be is in total denial you could have done wrong, (even though admitting that others who act as you do would be in the wrong) and you seem absolutely dead set on arguing this out, not accepting anyone else's opinion and not backing down. It makes me wonder if you don't come into cam girls rooms to wank over their bodies, but actually because the confrontation makes you hard. But that is total speculation.

I say again, whatever the situation, if you've been banned, you're being a douche in some way, whether or not you realise it or see it from the other persons point of view or not. Girls don't tend to ban guys for the sake of it.
We're working a job where we learn to judge how a person is going to act just by the words they type, sure you may be a really great person out of the typed world, but that's irrelevant to us. Stop taking it so personally.

 

[LindseyDoll]

This thread.... wow...
It seems to have going a little something like this: a question is asked about something very subjective, different answers are provided, OP declares all answers not good enough.

Look, if someone is dropping big tokens on me, enough that I'm making way more than the piddly little amount that I would otherwise make, you're damn right I would let them get away with more than other members. If it drove off other members, I wouldn't be sad that the 'feel' of my room was ruined, I need to eat and have rent to pay. I struggle financially, many of us do. Lots of jobs involve putting up with BS so that you can put food on your table.
You're implying that the model would do so much better if she kicked the unpleasant tipper to the curb, but what if she's done the math, and knows for sure that she'll be able to pay her rent this month because of Tippy McJackasserson?
It feels like you're saying that you know better than us how we should run our rooms. Like you know how to make our incomes better than we do.
Every model feels differently about it, that's basically what we've said, and you keep going "I'm right unless you provide proof that I'm wrong!"

No one is right, no one is wrong, it's a matter of preferences and opinion. Arguing about it is useless. This isn't a debate hun. Relax, have a cup of tea or a hot bath or something, and please stop beating the horse, it's had enough.