Would appreciate some advice

[misterical]

Morning all. I've been visiting the same model for a long time. I've probably over-documented it here, often to the chagrin of some people. But I'm looking for some advice.

Currently she's having quite a bad time, struggling with the job and the fact that so many people just view for free or don't tip. Myself and a few others are regular tippers and (I think) we tip well but obviously a handful of us can only do so much. In previous bad times I've done some of the obvious things like send flowers etc but this feels different.

I'm looking for ways to encourage her and keep her going but am desperate not to say the wrong thing and make matters worse. For any model who has been in that situation before, how did you (or would you) want your members to support you. We're all tipping like bears to try and keep it going but more tips isn't really an option so I'm looking for suggestions on how to keep her spirits up.

Obviously I'd know how to do this in non-cam world but there are challenges in this environment. We speak offline but that's usually at a different time from when she is online and it's usually in the online time when she is most dejected. So I'm looking for ways to encourage in that online space. I'm at a bit of a loss. I don't want to make things worse.

 

[EasternPromis]

Well do you objectively see any faults in her stream that if improved might bring more people in?

 

[yummybrownfox]

Morning all. I've been visiting the same model for a long time. I've probably over-documented it here, often to the chagrin of some people. But I'm looking for some advice.

Currently she's having quite a bad time, struggling with the job and the fact that so many people just view for free or don't tip. Myself and a few others are regular tippers and (I think) we tip well but obviously a handful of us can only do so much. In previous bad times I've done some of the obvious things like send flowers etc but this feels different.

I'm looking for ways to encourage her and keep her going but am desperate not to say the wrong thing and make matters worse. For any model who has been in that situation before, how did you (or would you) want your members to support you. We're all tipping like bears to try and keep it going but more tips isn't really an option so I'm looking for suggestions on how to keep her spirits up.

Obviously I'd know how to do this in non-cam world but there are challenges in this environment. We speak offline but that's usually at a different time from when she is online and it's usually in the online time when she is most dejected. So I'm looking for ways to encourage in that online space. I'm at a bit of a loss. I don't want to make things worse.

Good morning! Sending flowers was sweet...but TIPS as well as continuing to make her live cam time enjoyable (conversations that make her smile and laugh) are preferred here. You are spending money when you send flowers, so next time instead of flowers you can use your money to give an additional tip...but specify that this one is a "just because" tip (It's not for flashes or any vids or anything in return). Include a sweet note with it, expressing how much you appreciate her. "Just because" tips are always a nice surprise, and models certainly aren't gonna get tired of money. That money could be helping her with a bill or expense that's contributing to her stress.

TIPS...and GOOD CONVERSATION are what makes time in free chat more enjoyable for models, and keep us from dying from boredom (as well as the music we're playing). By good conversation I don't mean constant back to back compliments like "Your hair is pretty...I like your outfit...nice smile...etc." (I'm not saying that you do this). I mean conversation such as "Did you get to see the new Saw X movie? What did you think of it?" Since you've been visiting her for a long time, you probably already have an idea what her likes and interests are. Start a conversation about that, as long as it's not something she's told you in confidence that she'd prefer to not have the whole free chat know about. For example, if during offline communication with you, she told you that she's got a music gig performing at a specific venue in NYC on Friday, don't blurt out in her public chat "Oh! Hey, what time are you performing at _______ on Friday?" because she need a bunch of random dudes knowing her whereabouts for Friday.

Or y'all can bond over how frustrating it is to have a craving for some Sprite, but the pizza place doesn't have it...because they have that new Starry drink instead.

 

[misterical]

Well do you objectively see any faults in her stream that if improved might bring more people in?

I'm not sure that criticism, constructive or otherwise is the way to go at the moment. Certainly not at the point where it's most raw.

 

[misterical]

Good morning! Sending flowers was sweet...but TIPS as well as continuing to make her live cam time enjoyable (conversations that make her smile and laugh) are preferred here.

She loves the flowers but I know what you are saying. I've always tried to keep the gift spend separate from the token spend (so it's extra and not instead of tokens) but it's a very valid point. In my mind I've always thought "well she gets all of the flowers, not just 30%". The conversations have always been good so I'll continue with that. Laughter and humour are definitely good suggestions here. Thanks.

TIPS...and GOOD CONVERSATION are what makes time in free chat more enjoyable for models, and keep us from dying from boredom (as well as the music we're playing). By good conversation I don't mean constant back to back compliments like "Your hair is pretty...I like your outfit...nice smile...etc." (I'm not saying that you do this). I mean conversation such as "Did you get to see the new Saw X movie? What did you think of it?" Since you've been visiting her for a long time, you probably already have an idea what her likes and interests are. Start a conversation about that, as long as it's not something she's told you in confidence that she'd prefer to not have the whole free chat know about. For example, if during offline communication with you, she told you that she's got a music gig performing at a specific venue in NYC on Friday, don't blurt out in her public chat "Oh! Hey, what time are you performing at _______ on Friday?" because she need a bunch of random dudes knowing her whereabouts for Friday.

You're kind of describing the pattern of our conversation as it stands. I've never been one of those compliment types. As a member they drive me crazy because it just becomes drivel after the fifteenth compliment in a row. I guess the thing I'm wrestling with is how to address the element in the room without addressing the elephant in the room. I want to make her feel better about her situation without dragging the conversation down or upsetting her but at the same time, she is the one bringing it up. In person it would be easy to sit down with a cup of tea and lift someone up when they hit a tough patch. This is a situation where there needs to be a veneer of sexiness and smiles and where there is a monitor watching and a slew of guys yelling "show feet bb".

Thanks for your thoughts. Really constructive and sympathetic. It's very hard to watch someone you have formed a bond with go through tough times.

 

[EasternPromis]

I'm not sure that criticism, constructive or otherwise is the way to go at the moment. Certainly not at the point where it's most raw.

If she has some technical problems you should not be afraid to let her know - glitchy sound and what not. It actually happened with me before I had awful time because something was technically wrong with my stream but my most loyal member kept watching and wouldn’t tell me something is wrong until after I struggled for 5 hours straight.

 

[yummybrownfox]

She loves the flowers but I know what you are saying. I've always tried to keep the gift spend separate from the token spend (so it's extra and not instead of tokens) but it's a very valid point. In my mind I've always thought "well she gets all of the flowers, not just 30%".

Oh, it's on a token site where she only gets 30%? Do you follow her on Twitter, and is she on other sites that have a larger percentage? Such as OnlyFans, LoyalFans, ManyVids? If she's on ManyVids, you can use the "Make it rain" feature to tip her so that she gets 80%. Tips on OnlyFans are also 80%. I think it's the same for LoyalFans.

If she's not on any of those sites...
Since it sounds like you've already had stuff sent to her via a mailing address, the next time you do that you could send her a VISA gift card. She can use it towards a bill, towards the cost of gas, or to buy herself food, etc.

 

[AudriTwo]

If she's not on any of those sites...
Since it sounds like you've already had stuff sent to her via a mailing address, the next time you do that you could send her a VISA gift card. She can use it towards a bill, towards the cost of gas, or to buy herself food, etc.

There are visa gift cards that are reloadable too.

 

[misterical]

Oh, it's on a token site where she only gets 30%? Do you follow her on Twitter, and is she on other sites that have a larger percentage? Such as OnlyFans, LoyalFans, ManyVids? If she's on ManyVids, you can use the "Make it rain" feature to tip her so that she gets 80%. Tips on OnlyFans are also 80%. I think it's the same for LoyalFans.

If she's not on any of those sites...
Since it sounds like you've already had stuff sent to her via a mailing address, the next time you do that you could send her a VISA gift card. She can use it towards a bill, towards the cost of gas, or to buy herself food, etc.

She was on MV previously. As bad as that site was to use, there was a certain satisfaction in knowing the share she got. I'll definitely look into the suggestions that have been made here. I didn't realise those things existed. I'm not sure it's just the money that's the issue, but also in some part the lack of appreciation being shown for the effort expended. I can imagine it's quite demoralising.

 

[misterical]

There are visa gift cards that are reloadable too.

Thanks for that info Audri.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I'm not sure it's just the money that's the issue, but also in some part the lack of appreciation being shown for the effort expended. I can imagine it's quite demoralising.

Oh, trust me. I know the feeling, which is why I don't really cam (on free chat sites) anymore. Which is why I suggested those things above, which included tip notes letting her know that YOU appreciate her. Keep doing that, so that her time on cam won't be a complete disappointment to her. Try to be one of the highlights of her time on cam.

 

[misterical]

Well, an update. I received a voicemail from her at the weekend to say that she'd decided to take a day off to get her head straight and rest. So I arranged to have something nice delivered to lift the spirits a little. She has recently started a new page as well, which suddenly took an upswing upon her return. She still has the "new" tag there so it remains to be seen how that will pan out long term but it was a very timely morale boost nonetheless.

 

[AmberCutie]

Well, an update. I received a voicemail from her at the weekend to say that she'd decided to take a day off to get her head straight and rest. So I arranged to have something nice delivered to lift the spirits a little. She has recently started a new page as well, which suddenly took an upswing upon her return. She still has the "new" tag there so it remains to be seen how that will pan out long term but it was a very timely morale boost nonetheless.

Maybe you should suggest she come and sign up here at ACF so we fellow cam models can exchange ideas and support. That can be a great morale boost.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

When I told members I was taking a day off and it had been slow what I wanted desperately was funds to cover that time off, not flowers or kind words

 

[AmberCutie]

When I told members I was taking a day off and it had been slow what I wanted desperately was funds to cover that time off, not flowers or kind words

This is absolute TRUTH.

 

[MarieElise]

Misterical, we went through all of this same exact stuff in another thread with you. Like I literally remember people telling you not to send flowers before? This is like the same exact content of a thread you made before. You had to find a flower shop, there was drama there yada, yada, yada. We all told you no model struggling would want flowers... you sent flowers anyways. Is this tripping anyone else out? I feel like Drew Barrymore in that movie where she relives the same day over and over and over and over sometimes... Do you remember @misterical ?

Given that context, my advice would be to go reread the thread you already made about this a year ago, and follow said advice this time.

 

[yummybrownfox]

When I told members I was taking a day off and it had been slow what I wanted desperately was funds to cover that time off, not flowers or kind words

This is what I tried to tell misterical two days ago in my above post in this thread, after he’d posted this in the Ask-A-Model section. One of his responses to me was “She likes the flowers.” Great, but models LOVE money too.

He said that giving her additional tips isn’t an option, yet he’s still sending her gifts…which I’m sure cost money. And why even bother asking for our advice if he’s just gonna do what he wants anyway.

 

[Vixxen81]

I believe misterical's presence in her room is driving away potential customers. Harsh? Perhaps.

I had to cut a guy like him loose. He was forever ruining goals, chatted over people, demanded more attention than anyone has a right to demand and people started avoiding me because of it. When I figured it out, I was hesitant to ban because income is income but as soon as I did it a flood of people came out of the wood work.

Don't go to her room for a week and see if she reports an uptick in income.

 

[darcyduke]

Start tipping more, and stop contacting her offline, because you're freebie hunting! Stop with the gifts and just send her tips. Gifts don't pay the bloody bills!

 

[misterical]

OK, so admission time. The suggestion of sending something was hers not mine, but I was hardly going to post that here because I'd only be crucified for different reasons.

As for other accusations about how I conduct myself in her room or out of her room? Complete conjecture. Hardly fair.

 

[Vixxen81]

OK, so admission time. The suggestion of sending something was hers not mine, but I was hardly going to post that here because I'd only be crucified for different reasons.

As for other accusations about how I conduct myself in her room or out of her room? Complete conjecture. Hardly fair.

If you are as stubborn there as you are here, it's not unfair at all.

 

[mkognitio]

She loves the flowers but I know what you are saying. I've always tried to keep the gift spend separate from the token spend (so it's extra and not instead of tokens) but it's a very valid point. In my mind I've always thought "well she gets all of the flowers, not just 30%". The conversations have always been good so I'll continue with that. Laughter and humour are definitely good suggestions here. Thanks.

You're kind of describing the pattern of our conversation as it stands. I've never been one of those compliment types. As a member they drive me crazy because it just becomes drivel after the fifteenth compliment in a row. I guess the thing I'm wrestling with is how to address the element in the room without addressing the elephant in the room. I want to make her feel better about her situation without dragging the conversation down or upsetting her but at the same time, she is the one bringing it up. In person it would be easy to sit down with a cup of tea and lift someone up when they hit a tough patch. This is a situation where there needs to be a veneer of sexiness and smiles and where there is a monitor watching and a slew of guys yelling "show feet bb".

Thanks for your thoughts. Really constructive and sympathetic. It's very hard to watch someone you have formed a bond with go through tough times.

some models aren't keen on conversations

 

[misterical]

If you are as stubborn there as you are here, it's not unfair at all.

I'm as stubborn as anyone who is accused of something unfairly. Just because you want all members to be bad men, doesn't mean we are. She doesn't suffer fools gladly. If I was anywhere near what you suggested I would have been gone a long time ago.

 

[misterical]

Start tipping more, and stop contacting her offline, because you're freebie hunting! Stop with the gifts and just send her tips. Gifts don't pay the bloody bills!

I've never asked for a single free thing in all the time I've been there. Nor would she even contemplate giving me anything for free.

 

[Vixxen81]

I'm as stubborn as anyone who is accused of something unfairly. Just because you want all members to be bad men, doesn't mean we are. She doesn't suffer fools gladly. If I was anywhere near what you suggested I would have been gone a long time ago.

I don't think all men are bad, tyvm. Let's see you posted about this a year ago, the only thing that seems to be the same today as it was last year is.your presence..

You never take our advice. Ever. Logic dictates she's either on all of the wrong sites or there's something about the relationship between you two that other people find offputting.

 

[MarieElise]

This conversation is going way off base. There's a difference between perhaps being unaware and a bit stubborn, from being a bad man/person. There was a leap there. Vixxen is pointing out a very fair observation. Try it out and see. What's the worst that could happen

 

[mkognitio]

maybe my presence in a models room could be putting users off as I am there most evening & tip a lot its tough

 

[MarieElise]

Misterical and mkognito are 2 different people with two different situations. For the sakes of clarity maybe we could address them at 2 different times? Otherwise this is going to get even more confusing and strange.

 

[misterical]

Logic dictates she's either on all of the wrong sites or there's something about the relationship between you two that other people find offputting.

You couldn't possibly know that even if it were true. The suggestion that one member sitting quietly in a room is driving other members away is laughable. I'm not a knight or a moderator. I have no aspiration to be one and I don't behave like one. Just like a number of other regular guys, I'm polite and respectful. I'm there a lot less often than most of them. You are simply imagining a scenario based on what you want to be true. No basis in truth.

 

[Vixxen81]

You couldn't possibly know that even if it were true. The suggestion that one member sitting quietly in a room is driving other members away is laughable. I'm not a knight or a moderator. I have no aspiration to be one and I don't behave like one. Just like a number of other regular guys, I'm polite and respectful. I'm there a lot less often than most of them. You are simply imagining a scenario based on what you want to be true. No basis in truth.

Well then you may want to quit spinning it like you're there every day and the bulk of her income.