Your SigOther and Camming

[KristiRoxx]

Hi ladies (and fellas),
My question is how does your significant other feel about you camming, or how do you feel about your significant other camming?

My SO and I have been talking a lot about me becoming a cam girl, I've only done it for one night and I could tell that it really made him feel uncomfortable, so I haven't been on mfc since.

When I do talk to him about it he tells me that he gets excited by the idea, but at the same time feels like its wrong.

What do you guys think? How do I explain things to him? Is it even worth the stress?

 

[Violet Dawn]

My boyfriend doesn't like the idea of guys looking at me, mainly because he feels guys think they are incredibly entitled. But he loves the income, he loves that it gives me flexibility and most of all he loves that it makes me happy to be myself. He's actually quite jealous of it. When my boyfriend and I first started we made some ground rules, and they were 1. You always come first. 2. I don't actually want to be with these people. I'd just be honest and tell him that he could think of it as you're getting paid for people to think about you, which they'll already do anyway, and he's the one who can really live the fantasy. If it is really that big of a deal you need to determine if it is worth it or not. It's a great career, but is it worth losing a relationship? Or the other way around.

 

[dilligaf0]

If you get verified model status, there are many models there (in the models only section) that can give you more / better advice than you'll get in a public thread.

 

[KristiRoxx]

If you get verified model status, there are many models there (in the models only section) that can give you more / better advice than you'll get in a public thread.

I'm working on the verified model status but in the meantime I wanna hear everyone's opinion.

 

[KristiRoxx]

My boyfriend doesn't like the idea of guys looking at me, mainly because he feels guys think they are incredibly entitled. But he loves the income, he loves that it gives me flexibility and most of all he loves that it makes me happy to be myself. He's actually quite jealous of it. When my boyfriend and I first started we made some ground rules, and they were 1. You always come first. 2. I don't actually want to be with these people. I'd just be honest and tell him that he could think of it as you're getting paid for people to think about you, which they'll already do anyway, and he's the one who can really live the fantasy. If it is really that big of a deal you need to determine if it is worth it or not. It's a great career, but is it worth losing a relationship? Or the other way around.

See in my predicament he's really on the fence about it. And believe me, no amount of money is worth this relationship, but at the same time its something I'm really interested in and want to do, but... Ugh...

 

[JerryBoBerry]

If you get verified model status, there are many models there (in the models only section) that can give you more / better advice than you'll get in a public thread.

Keep in mind the rules have recently changed here. We're use to telling new ladies to get model access to see more. But now they may have to be actively posting here for a bit before being able to see that area. So we're probably going to be seeing more of these questions being answered here in public

Hello ladies! Welcome to the forum! Here are instructions on how to be upgraded to model status.Only active posters are eligible view the Model's Only section. Once you get your "verified cam girl" tag, you may still be restricted to the public section until you've begun posting and participating.

 

[Pluot]

My SO is luckily very supportive of me camming. They may even cam with me in the future. The only reason they are comfortable with it is because they have worked hard to work through their jealousy, and are able to root me on and be happy with my success. Maybe talk to your partner more in-depth about why it makes them uncomfortable.

Communication is so important!

 

[BiancaBaker]

I personally would never quit camming for a guy. Would you ask him to quit his job? I would ask him that question- it's very unfair he is asking you not to do something you love. Any normal guy would support your decisions and stand by you- He may have limits- but talk to him and work it out. If he doesn't pay all the bills and support you then he has no right to tell you how to support yourself. If camming is that important to you then leave him now if he can't get on board. If he is more important than stop camming and find a vanilla job.

 

[Guy]

I used to know a girl who was a nude model for SuicideGirls (https://suicidegirls.com/) She loved being a part of them and embraced it as part of her lifestyle. She was with them for 5 years. However In march 2014 she got a new partner. A month into their relationship he forced her to stop being a part of SuicideGirls. He was bothered by the fact that other guys were seeing her naked. He told her that if she did not leave SuicideGirls he would dump her. She had just had a divorce and was extremely desperate to be in a relationship. So she choose to leave the culture and lifestyle that she loved and embraced. 6 months later she put up a photo of herself on her Facebook page that showed her with a lot of make up on. I liked the photo and wrote that she looked nice in the photo. This angered her boyfriend and he forced her to block me on Facebook. Saddening.

 

[KristiRoxx]

My SO is luckily very supportive of me camming. They may even cam with me in the future. The only reason they are comfortable with it is because they have worked hard to work through their jealousy, and are able to root me on and be happy with my success. Maybe talk to your partner more in-depth about why it makes them uncomfortable.

Communication is so important!

We definitely are talking through it, but until I know he's at least comfortable with the idea I won't go back on. Like I said before, no amount of money is worth my relationship.

 

[KristiRoxx]

I should probably add to this that me and my SO have been together for 2 years and I just recently started flirting with the idea of camming, its not like he's a new guy forcing me to stop something I've established, its me trying to start something.

 

[KatVonnegut]

If your boyfriend is on the fence about it, it may cause a bit of turbulence between the two of you if you don't communicate properly. The one thing I have to say about camming is it really broke down all the walls in my relationship. It became a positive thing because it really helped strengthen the communication that I have with my partner. They weren't super comfortable with it either, but if you take things slowly and guide him through it, and show him that it's not that scary, then maybe he will come to accept it and support you.
There are some things that your partner may never fully be comfortable with, but it's a journey and you won't know until you start camming what those things are. My best advice is if you really want to pursue camming but also want to stay with your partner (who may possibly object to this line of work), is just take it slow. Do it, but go slowly and COMMUNICATE. A LOT. About everything. He's going to have a lot of questions, and he might not know how to ask them. Tell him about your day at work just like you would any other job. That's what worked for me. I would tell my partner stories of what happened, things that made me laugh, stories of regs that made me laugh, what I did in my shows, etc. It helps to make it feel more normal, like just another day at the office.
Some ladies may have differing experiences/opinions than this, but this is just what my experience has been.

If you have any more questions you can private message me, good luck lady

 

[dilligaf0]

Keep in mind the rules have recently changed here. We're use to telling new ladies to get model access to see more. But now they may have to be actively posting here for a bit before being able to see that area. So we're probably going to be seeing more of these questions being answered here in public

I was only pointing out that the people best experienced to answer her are in the models section instead of public.
You know how some of the morons are here.

 

[Azhrarn]

We definitely are talking through it, but until I know he's at least comfortable with the idea I won't go back on. Like I said before, no amount of money is worth my relationship.

Sounds to me like you're already doing the right thing. It's really difficult when your so is involved in some type of sex work. At the absolute minimum you need good communication and absolute trust. But it seems to me that you have your priorities straight, so if this is something you want to pursue you need to find out what his fears and concerns are and address them.

 

[Hyaena]

My fiance did the thing dudes do where they insist that they're cool with it and then flip out when they finally hear you camming from the other room. It's starting to get better with a combination of time, him getting a job away from home, and involving him by creating a couples account (which I wanted to do anyway, of course). I just hope he doesn't think that I'm supposed to abandon my solo accounts...

 

[KristiRoxx]

My fiance did the thing dudes do where they insist that they're cool with it and then flip out when they finally hear you camming from the other room. It's starting to get better with a combination of time, him getting a job away from home, and involving him by creating a couples account (which I wanted to do anyway, of course). I just hope he doesn't think that I'm supposed to abandon my solo accounts...

That's the issue I'm running across. He's fine about it if he's not home, but I cammed once when he was home and he kinda flipped out. I hate that he's so on the fence about it. He's starting to get a little better, like he asks me how my night went and stuff like that, but it feels so weird when I know he's on the other side of the door sometimes.

 

[Guy]

That's the issue I'm running across. He's fine about it if he's not home, but I cammed once when he was home and he kinda flipped out. I hate that he's so on the fence about it. He's starting to get a little better, like he asks me how my night went and stuff like that, but it feels so weird when I know he's on the other side of the door sometimes.

Why does it bother him?

 

[Hyaena]

That's the issue I'm running across. He's fine about it if he's not home, but I cammed once when he was home and he kinda flipped out. I hate that he's so on the fence about it. He's starting to get a little better, like he asks me how my night went and stuff like that, but it feels so weird when I know he's on the other side of the door sometimes.

Oh man. My guy yelled at me through the door and shit. Luckily I was not in private and only regs were there so they were understanding. I've never had a negative rating or anything on streamate so I got lucky. Did you cam before you met him? I did. And he knew, god dammit!

 

[summerale]

Why does it bother him?

Not gonna lie, it would bother me if I had a girlfriend that cammed while I was at home.

 

[Guy]

Not gonna lie, it would bother me if I had a girlfriend that cammed while I was at home.

why?

 

[Hyaena]

why?

BECAUSE BOYFRIENDS ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN. Nawww, I get it. But...HE KNEW. BEFOREHAND.

 

[summerale]

why?

I think if I dated someone that cammed, I'd want them to cam while I was out at work or just out in general so then it wouldn't be too weird at home.

 

[Guy]

I think if I dated someone that cammed, I'd want them to cam while I was out at work or just out in general so then it wouldn't be too weird at home.

If i dated a chick that cammed while I was at home, to me that would be hot

 

[Hyaena]

If i dated a chick that cammed while I was at home, to me that would be hot

See that's what they often think too. And then it happens. BLAMO! RAGEGASM! CAVEMAN EMOTIONS!

 

[Guy]

See that's what they often think too. And then it happens. BLAMO! RAGEGASM! CAVEMAN EMOTIONS!

Nah, Im not that type

 

[NerdieBirdie]

Very supportive and loves it. I'm the breadwinner in the house, by a lot. And he makes a decent hourly wage. He gets to get spoiled as much as I do. We dine out because of camming, buy hella vinyl because of camming, travel because of camming, etc. He has items on my wishlist that got directly bought by others through my camming. What isn't to love?

He and I had been together a little over three years when I looked into camming. He had shown me Reddit. And Reddit had shown me Aella. I did a lot of research, made my profile to ensure I'd be approved, and then approached him and asked before I ever did anything. We have no weird issues of jealousy or any weirdness. I don't know. We have just never had that at all. I can't empathize with those that have the possessive or jealous or uneasy feeling partners. That would suck.

He totally loves hearing my ridiculous privates of eating hamburgers or drooling for an hour. He said if he were a gal he'd do it to to make hella bank.

 

[kitty_love]

I can only give my two cents as a new cam girl (i'll be starting my first day later this week), but I've talked about it extensively with my boyfriend, and he is okay with it; in fact, he's agreed to help me out with a few cam related things (graphic design stuff) that i'd otherwise be unable to do (I just don't have the technical knowledge). Obviously, as I haven't started yet, there'll be some things that arise that will have to be discussed, but I'm lucky to have such a supportive guy.

It might also be worth it to mention I have some background in other areas of sex work that past boyfriends have frowned upon, so I entered into this relationship very open about my past and future in sex work. However, I hadn't really considered the possibility of camming until later on into the relationship, but he's been in my corner the whole way.

Edit: I copied my response and showed it to my bf, and his words were "I support you 150%"

 

[KayleePond]

Here are some threads on this general topic that are in the Public Section that you can read through! They're not all dead on, but you might find some insights in them that will help you!

Cam girls with boyfriends?
Are you guys married? or Boyfriends
Quitting for your SO
Fiance wants to start camming...
Boyfriend/Fiance/Husband Support Group?

Of course there is like a MOUNTAIN of threads on this topic in Models Only so when you get in there you can see a lot more about this!

 

[UncleThursday]

See that's what they often think too. And then it happens. BLAMO! RAGEGASM! CAVEMAN EMOTIONS!

It depends on the guy. I'd be in another room playing video games, or on my account chatting/perving on other models I know. Now, where we'd have issues would be if she were to tell me I should give up my account... can't have her enjoying other guys giving her attention, but her saying I can't use my own account however I want. That'd just be a double standard I wouldn't put up with.

 

[Hyaena]

It depends on the guy. I'd be in another room playing video games, or on my account chatting/perving on other models I know. Now, where we'd have issues would be if she were to tell me I should give up my account... can't have her enjoying other guys giving her attention, but her saying I can't use my own account however I want. That'd just be a double standard I wouldn't put up with.

Here's how I'd personally feel about that: The difference between what I do and what he'd be doing by chatting with other camgirls seems to be a big one. I'd take issue with him talking to them for free. At the very least it would be disrespectful towards me since he's flirting with other girls online while I'm doing my job (which I love...but a job nonetheless) in addition to wasting the other model's time. At worst he's spending OUR money to basically emotionally cheat on me. Spending money on a camgirl is buying a hell of a lot more than porn. Porn is totally cool in my book. It would only truly be a double standard if he worked as a cam model and I managed to somehow take issue. I'd like to say that I'd have no problem with that. But who knows, man. That's what a lot of people think, APPARENTLY. I don't mean to sound like a jerk, by the way. Just offering my perspective. Let it be known that I've looked up from my keyboard several times to argue with my fiance over a brand new and exciting problem! Me wanting to wait until we can get a better webcam/tripod before we finish up our couples account and go live. THE HORROR! HIS LIFE IS PAIN! PITY HIM! I HAVE COMMITTED HIGH TREASON PUNISHABLE BY DEATH IN THE FORM OF SAD PUPPY DOG FACES. Seriously! I want answers, man meat! Explain your fellow man!