Falling in love with a cam girl

[AudriTwo]

Well there has been a stretch for abya week i didn't pay her and yet she still talked to me like the other models they just kick me out and ban me and they are the ones coming to me
I don't know what to think anymore

dude. do exactly what we said. give her your contact info and tell her how you feel. stop visiting her all together. even if you aren't paying her, you being in her room talking with her makes her look interesting to other customers. so she isn't sitting there looking bored.

 

[CoffeeKnight]

A week isn't that long of a time. Talking to you doesn't make you special in her eyes. Neither does saying you are cute on cam. Her job is to interact with you and make you want to keep coming back.

What I think you are looking for isn't going to be found on camsites. Nothing good is ahead of you if you keep misinterpreting a sex worker doing her job as a woman falling in love with you.

You have gotten some very good and objective advice from people in this thread that don't have a stake in the matter. You should follow it.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I think you need to put things in perspective, sir. Her talking to you when you've gone a couple of days without tipping doesn't mean she loves you. Her telling you you're cute doesn't mean she loves you. I've had cam girls send me birthday and Christmas presents, care packages, swapped phone numbers, been told I don't need to tip, been given real names and invites to follow their personal social media, and none of that meant in any way, shape or form, that they loved me, or were romantically interested in me in the slightest (humblebrag concluded). I think you're looking for things that either aren't there or are there for reasons that begin and end with the financial benefit of the model/studio. The sooner you can see that, the sooner you can walk away from what could quickly and easily become a toxic relationship.

 

[par1966]

So how would you say i should precede with this, if her intentions are genuine
I could have screwed this up
How do i catch a rat if you want to put it that way if her intentions are only for the money, because iam at my tether right now

 

[par1966]

So how would you say i should precede with this, if her intentions are genuine
I could have screwed this up
How do i catch a rat if you want to put it that way if her intentions are only for the money, because iam at my tether right now

I don't have a crystal ball

 

[a_haze420]

We've already told you multiple times. Stop tipping her and stop visiting her on camsites. Tell her how you feel and provide her info on how she can reach you outside of mfc. See if she keeps talking to you.

 

[Starman]

Well there has been a stretch for abya week i didn't pay her and yet she still talked to me like the other models they just kick me out and ban me and they are the ones coming to me
I don't know what to think anymore

Sorry, but it's not for real. She talked to you because she knows you'll pay her again. She's investing her time with you for future profit.

You are in an internet love fog. You're projecting onto this model all your ideas of a perfect mate. You have to realize she's an actor. She probably has a kid or two, and a boyfriend or even a spouse. On camera she plays a role, and you've fallen in love with the role.

I get the idea you're new to cam-models. If you go on the site, the women you've given tokens to can see that you've logged on. It is VERY COMMON for models to PM a guy who's given her a lot of tokens, and invite him to visit. It is especially common behavior for Eastern European women in studios. They are trying very hard to meet a quota.

 

[WickedTouch]

Recently i have fallen in love with a cam girl on mfc, since November 15, since i put my cam open she has seen me and called me cute, since November 23 i have showered her with over 13,000 tokens because i love her, i have asked her for email address she has to ask the studio or bossi even gave her mine when she went on her holiday the 30of December to January 8th 2018
But i never received a email from her
She told me her phone broke and lost all the data this may be true, i just want to know if her feelings are genuine as mine
I mean just yesterday i told her i had 200 tokens she has said in a quote (as you want i don't love you not for tokens )
She has said she will wait when i am ready to go to private session for our second time she has claimed to love me
When she logs in she always pms me
But there is still uncertainty i didn't know if it is me or my feelings playing tricks on me, i just want to know 100%i if she truly loves me, i know its not about the money because she never ask only about private session omce in a while when we are going to do it again
I want to point out she is a non nude model which I respect very much
Well that is my feelings and questions for this beautiful lady that i have fallen in love with that is driving me crazy that I can't think straight

Life Rule #47: If you are a guy, don't allow the small brain to do any of the important decision making in your life.

As a grown assed adult, you must have realised by now that the big brain should be doing all the heavy lifting here. Listen to it! It is strong! It is logical and clever (the majority of the time)! It knows stuff... complex stuff! It has seen things... many, many, many things!!! It can save you.

The little brain sadly knows nothing. It is immature and juvenile. The little brain just wants to always go and party... have fun, get laid!!! Don't listen to the little brain... it is stupid. It will get you into trouble... mucho trouble!!! It will not save you.

You are NOT in love... it is simply a fantasy which has drawn you in. Don't be blinded by the sexy eyes and the cute little tushie... it is simply her charm offensive. Nothing more. You have fallen for the fantasy that is projected by the average camgirl through her room performance and you are mistaking her act, her style and hustle for genuine affection. It is an illusion... albeit a pleasant and often pleasurable one it must be said, but it is NOT real. Remember where you are. You are witnessing a performance... a hustle, but at the end of the day it is simply a camgirl doing her job. It is business. Take a deep breath and step away from the show.

Listen to the big brain... you know it makes sense!


This post was brought to you by The Real World...

 

[par1966]

This is the email i have written her

Hi Anna

I just want to find out your feelings towards me i know you said you love me on numerous occasions and times and, i said the same thing and i ment every word when i said i love you and i will keep on saying it
Right now i am getting my passport arranged in the American consulate IN Melbourne in the next few hours (Anna's reply she said when are you thinking of coming over to Poland because i don't finish university until March) and then i said iam talking to the airline agency to see how much it would cost to go to Poland and be with you
My feelings are strong for you Anna said i want you to come over but I don't want to rush into to fast and i do love you)
I am very serious, i just want to know your side because it may be me, for all my life i have been insecure girls telling me that they like me or love me and it ends with me getting hurt and thats when i was younger but i grew up from my shy self, i am very comfortable talking to you
I just want to know how much you really love me and want to be with me
As i said above i have made preparations to come to you in Poland
I don't care about Australia i want to be happy and my happy place is with you Anna if you truly want me that is,
I will see you tonight my time
And i really do love you with all my heart this is not a joke i am sincere with all my feelings i just hope you feel the same way as you know i have you on my phones wallpaper and my profile background and i have asked your permission to do so because i love you
Love Peter

And Anna has said she wants to be with me in real life she lives in a student hostel in Poland she is in financial hardship has to pay half of year of university as well
Its starting to fit
Now i tried to sus her out and she is still adamant about me coming over

 

[JickyJuly]

Ew.

 

[par1966]

Well i tried to push her and she has not bent at all

 

[Deleted member 37064]

And Anna has said she wants to be with me in real life she lives in a student hostel in Poland she is in financial hardship has to pay half of year of university as well

Food for thought....

What if she is "interested". But, only from the perspective of getting a free ride out of wherever it is that she lives then dumps you once she's free of it? Perhaps maybe even marriage, and then she divorces once she's legally able to stay?

 

[par1966]

If you're applying she wants to come to Australia
That isn't what we both want
We both want to settle in poland
And she has stated she wants vto know where we are going to live as she lives in a student hostel, it seems every time i say something mist of everybody finds flaws in this and still thinking she is scamming she hasn't even brought up anything to do with tokens at all, just for once she could be telling the truth, there is people that are genuine even cam girls about there feelings, now i put it to her my intentions towards her and she wants me in real life but she wants to go slow, if i get burnt that's my fault but if she is actually genuine about her feelings towards me i could be screwing a good thing on advice of others and there negative replies
I took your advice and i tried to push her
And she isnt backing down seems she is getting more and more happy every time she stares at me
Ome day at a time from this day forward

 

[par1966]

If you're applying she wants to come to Australia
That isn't what we both want
We both want to settle in poland
And she has stated she wants vto know where we are going to live as she lives in a student hostel, it seems every time i say something mist of everybody finds flaws in this and still thinking she is scamming she hasn't even brought up anything to do with tokens at all, just for once she could be telling the truth, there is people that are genuine even cam girls about there feelings, now i put it to her my intentions towards her and she wants me in real life but she wants to go slow, if i get burnt that's my fault but if she is actually genuine about her feelings towards me i could be screwing a good thing on advice of others and there negative replies
I took your advice and i tried to push her
And she isnt backing down seems she is getting more and more happy every time she stares at me
Ome day at a time from this day forward

And it would be me to imagination status no her no plans for coming here

 

[Mara_Jayne]

Thing is, even if she is telling you the truth, you two are living in fantasy land right now. You know each other through a filter called the internet. It's no wonder she says she wants to take it slow with you talking the way you are. She says come visit and you already have plans to drop your life to move countries and buy a place with someone you really don't know. If you want to meet and she's all for that, great. Start there. Only plan for a short visit. Meet one another in person a few times to see if you even have real chemistry with one another then go home and plan a few more visits just the same. Basically get to really know her in person. See if you two can actually get along well enough that way, before you even think about making plans to uproot your life to buy her *coughs* I mean both of you a house together in Poland.

Many couples who live a lot closer make the mistake of moving in with one another way too soon just to find they are not compatible house mates. The bigger the move the more responsible and cautious you need to be with the moving in together talk.

Either way, best of luck to you both.

 

[a_haze420]

When she is asking where you are going to live and telling you she has financial hardship it is clear to me she wants to be with you for financial reasons.

The reasons we are skeptical is because we see guys get screwed over like this all the time. Search around the forum and you'll see many other posts just like yours and the guys never believe they're being screwed.

 

[Mirth-orama]

If a camgirl likes you, and really likes you, she will make that happen.

.... etc.

This is... just it. All the paragraphs. I wouldn't even try to add anything to it.

 

[JickyJuly]

Maybe stop thinking about what she can give you and ask what you've even got to offer her. What do you love about her? What are her dreams? How will you help her get to her dreams? What was her childhood like? What is her middle name? What's her favorite subject as a student? Why should she love you? Can you work in Poland should you haul your ass there? She's dots on a screen man. Until you can answer important questions, anything else is a fantasy you're building in your own head and begging her to be part of. Have you ever had a relationship with a real human? What you're describing is not how love works. You've not said one thing about her that is special. You're trying to create a test to know if she will be what you want when she came from a place that clearly outlines what she wants from you. Hint: it's not love.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I don't suppose that disclosing a private message from the girl you're in love with is the most chivalrous act. I'd start by being an ordinary and basic gentleman with a girl, prior to being a knight in a shinning armor.
Just make sure you are not becoming a Don Quixote.

 

[yummybrownfox]

if i get burnt that's my fault but if she is actually genuine about her feelings towards me i could be screwing a good thing on advice of others and there negative replies

The folks posting on here are just being real with you. Just because they aren't telling you what you wanna hear doesn't mean they are being "negative." But I think people on here are getting a bit annoyed with telling you the same thing over and over again, and you don't wanna listen.

This is sad. Please don't end up like that woman - a few years ago - who was facing eviction because she'd spent all her money on Beyonce tickets. Smh.

It's a shame you couldn't have just fallen in love with a woman off Match.com or something (an actual dating site with people who really do intend to meet in person), instead of on a freaking cam site.

Maybe this is one of those scenarios where we have to just stop making suggestions to you...and just let you find out on your own that you're being unrealistic...and making a mistake. Live and learn.

 

[Starman]

The folks posting on here are just being real with you. Just because they aren't telling you what you wanna hear doesn't mean they are being "negative." But I think people on here are getting a bit annoyed with telling you the same thing over and over again, and you don't wanna listen.
[snip]
Maybe this is one of those scenarios where we have to just stop making suggestions to you...and just let you find out on your own that you're being unrealistic...and making a mistake. Live and learn.

Exactly. I wonder why par1966 even asked for advice in the first place.

If you go through with this, par, I urge you to have a backup plan, and to keep your security in mind at all times. If she doesn’t show up, or things don’t work out between you, have a tour of the region planned so you don’t end up wasting your trip/money.

Register with your country’s embassy, get their phone number. Keep all valuables in the hotel safe. Carry your wallet and passport in your front pocket. Get a copy of your passport and keep it someplace separate from the original passport.

Arrange your first meeting in a public place (not a bar) - a park or cafe. You pick the spot, not her. If she insists on her choice of a meeting place, that’s a bad sign. Don’t carry large amounts of cash, or valuables. Don’t drink alcohol, it makes you sloppy and vulnerable, and somebody could spike it. Avoid any situations where you could be set up and shaken down or robbed.

A good sign would be if the girl wants you to meet her family. In fact you can test her as soon as you meet her by asking to meet them.

I strongly suggest you google “Eastern European dating scams” or something similar to protect yourself against worst-case scenarios.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Exactly. I wonder why par1966 even asked for advice in the first place.

If you go through with this, par, I urge you to have a backup plan, and to keep your security in mind at all times. If she doesn’t show up, or things don’t work out between you, have a tour of the region planned so you don’t end up wasting your trip/money.

Register with your country’s embassy, get their phone number. Keep all valuables in the hotel safe. Carry your wallet and passport in your front pocket. Get a copy of your passport and keep it someplace separate from the original passport.

Arrange your first meeting in a public place (not a bar) - a park or cafe. You pick the spot, not her. If she insists on her choice of a meeting place, that’s a bad sign. Don’t carry large amounts of cash, or valuables. Don’t drink alcohol, it makes you sloppy and vulnerable, and somebody could spike it. Avoid any situations where you could be set up and shaken down or robbed.

A good sign would be if the girl wants you to meet her family. In fact you can test her as soon as you meet her by asking to meet them.

I strongly suggest you google “Eastern European dating scams” or something similar to protect yourself against worst-case scenarios.

This. Though even if I was in her shoes and actually was in love with him, I still wouldn't be talking about introducing him to the family after only meeting once...because that would mean having to introduce him to my son. I don't bring dudes I just met (or just started dating) around to meet my son. That's a big deal to me (meeting my kid/the rest of my family). We'd probably have to be serious for at least 6 months or so before I'd even consider doing that. We have discussions about this kinda stuff often in my Single Moms group.

 

[Starman]

This. Though even if I was in her shoes and actually was in love with him, I still wouldn't be talking about introducing him to the family after only meeting once...because that would mean having to introduce him to my son. I don't bring dudes I just met (or just started dating) around to meet my son. That's a big deal to me (meeting my kid/the rest of my family). We'd probably have to be serious for at least 6 months or so before I'd even consider doing that. We have discussions about this kinda stuff often in my Single Moms group.

Probably right. But the subject of family is bound to come up. I recently visited an Eastern European country, though it was not a dating/romance visit. It’s a very family-orientated culture. My friends were shocked that I wasn’t in twice-daily contact with my grown children back in the states. They were constantly checking in with parents and other family members. The FIRST thing my friends did when we met was to go through the big book of family photos.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Probably right. But the subject of family is bound to come up. I recently visited an Eastern European country, though it was not a dating/romance visit. It’s a very family-orientated culture. My friends were shocked that I wasn’t in twice-daily contact with my grown children back in the states. They were constantly checking in with parents and other family members. The FIRST thing my friends did when we met was to go through the big book of family photos.

It's fine for the subject of family to come up on a first date, as long as the guy isn't pushing to meet the woman's kid/s and all asap. Some of us would consider that a bit creepy. Lol. It's one thing if she still lives at home with parents, and he's ringing the doorbell (first date) and they're all there sitting in the living room. Then yeah, I guess she'd have to introduce them, right?

What you just described is a bit different from what I'm talking about anyway, but we're sorta getting off track here...

 

[OldHippy]

Please keep us updated OP, I know some great tattoo artists in Melbourne if you like...

Maybe this thread can be added to the many other trainwreck threads that serve as warnings to some smarter guys...

By the way I have gotten to know a few camgirls quite well, most of them have been great people and some I consider very good friends. I have also met my share of not so nice girls some have ended up bragging to me on how they pretend to "love" guys to get money, I even had one girl pretend she had cancer...

I hope this girl is one of the nice ones but it really is much to soon to tell.

 

[par1966]

This. Though even if I was in her shoes and actually was in love with him, I still wouldn't be talking about introducing him to the family after only meeting once...because that would mean having to introduce him to my son. I don't bring dudes I just met (or just started dating) around to meet my son. That's a big deal to me (meeting my kid/the rest of my family). We'd probably have to be serious for at least 6 months or so before I'd even consider doing that. We have discussions about this kinda stuff often in my Single Moms group.

This. Though even if I was in her shoes and actually was in love with him, I still wouldn't be talking about introducing him to the family after only meeting once...because that would mean having to introduce him to my son. I don't bring dudes I just met (or just started dating) around to meet my son. That's a big deal to me (meeting my kid/the rest of my family). We'd probably have to be serious for at least 6 months or so before I'd even consider doing that. We have discussions about this kinda stuff often in my Single Moms group.

 

[par1966]

Well i am chatting with Anna as we speak i have asked her if i could help her with her tuition for university she said no 3 times i her responsibility i said ok
She said i had done enough for me
And you have to live I said ok, what now i am stumped i want to help her financially?

 

[Mara_Jayne]

Well i am chatting with Anna as we speak i have asked her if i could help her with her tuition for university she said no 3 times i her responsibility i said ok
She said i had done enough for me
And you have to live I said ok, what now i am stumped i want to help her financially?

She wants to be independent even if she enters a relationship. Just because someone is struggling doesn't mean that person wants to be reliant on another person to fix things. If she says she's got it then she's got it. If you truly care and have offered other means of support then you get to be there for her morally and let her do her thing to get her own responsibilities paid off. But really when are you going to respect her wishes on taking things slow? The way you talk it sounds like you expect to not just visit her but to buy a house the moment you're there and have her move in with you and live happily ever after... Which is still fantasy. You need to get your head out of the clouds. As crazy as it sounds, the love you feel for her isn't even real yet. You still see pixels and hear words that could very well just be empty promises. Take things slow for both your sakes. Don't worry about what next when you haven't even done the first step which is meeting in person to see if the two of you actually connect in real life. Make two plans for your trip. One for if you two hit it off and one for if things don't go the way you dreamed it would. Then go from there.


I'm pretty confused about your posts though. Who are you trying to prove to that she isn't scamming? Us? Or yourself? If your gut is saying don't then listen to it. There's no need to rush. Take a break from talking/viewing her, let her know you feel confused and need time to yourself and come back in a month. If she welcomes you back when you are still not tipping then she might not being lying.. but there will always be what ifs. No matter the route you take.

 

[Dan Epstein]

This is like participating in a Jackass episode, do it at your own risk....

 

[par1966]

This not a jack ass episode, strange as it sounds there are some good people in this world unlike you, i don't think this young model is scamming she refused my help as i do believe she wants to be independent
Or else she would have taken me to the bank
But i am starting to trust her Dan
Down below is Anna





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