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I am two days from the great reveal. And I am reeling in sadness and despair right now and answering posts here keeps me from self destruction. So yes, there are better outlets for my real catharsis but for now I am looking for distraction. And this is as good a place as any to distract myself from truth.

If you want a distraction, stop posting in this thread and check out the rest of the forum. Talk about TV shows or movies or whatever else. Dwelling on it isn't going to help.
 
If you want a distraction, stop posting in this thread and check out the rest of the forum. Talk about TV shows or movies or whatever else. Dwelling on it isn't going to help.

Honestly, not to be melodramatic, but nothing is going to distract me from the pain right now. I am in a state of shock. Even though I should have I did not see this coming. I believed everything she told me to be true. I would defend her to the death. This is just going to take some time. And I promise not to annoy you to much with my posts.
 
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I wrote a model a poem once. I was pretty proud of it. It was very romantic. I kinda wish I'd saved it now so that I could send it to amorous pursuits in a bid to woo them.

EDIT: I found it!

This might sound silly
But you make my willy
Stand to attention, yeah?
Babe, if you were a teacher I'd wanna be in your detention
Cos fire is to ice what you are to semen retention

Girl
Let dem titties unfurl
You make my hair curl
When dat ass roams free
So many sperms in mah pants I had to check it wasn't pee
Now baby show me that snatch on the count of three

One, two, three
Will you be me valentine?
HAHAHAHA!
 
I am struggling to overcome this overwhelming grief. And still expert to hear from her with words of comfort, or explanation, or an apology. Or to simply tell me that she enjoyed our time together. Or simply to tell me that she appreciated all I did for her. For even if you ignore all the money, the poems, and letters and time should of meant something to someone who said they were alone. That people can be so selfish is someone I'm finding difficult to comprehend. For I still see her smile in my mind's eye, and can't believe that this is who she really is. For I believed in her when no one else did. And that is the way that love should be. And yet it cut me in the end.
 
For I believed in her when no one else did.

o4dSoKR.gif
 
 
1. See a therapist and read a book about grief. I too used to get horrendously cut up by the ends of relationships, but reading books about how to deal with the death of loved ones got me through. Yea I was a fucked up love addict at some point lol. The books helped me.

2. Start doing something to replenish your savings. Seriously, being broke will make you sadder, so sort that shit out asap. Sell your story, do music gigs, whatever, just get your finances in order.

3. Workout. Always wanted a banging body? Now's the time. Broken hearts are healed in the gym and not only will it give you time to get your anger out, you will also produce more endorphines which will make you happier.

That's what you can do now. That's the only thing you can do now. Oh and go get that damn tattoo removed, if you meet the woman you actually want to be with, how's she gonna feel if you have another's name on you? Just get it removed.
 
Oh and go get that damn tattoo removed, if you meet the woman you actually want to be with, how's she gonna feel if you have another's name on you? Just get it removed.
That tattoo is the real fuckup of this story.

I dated a girl, her ex-hubby had goaded her into tattooing his name on her tit, then would pressure her to show it off at parties. Every time I saw it, thought "dam thats trashy".

Think about it. Any woman worth having sees that Victoria tattoo, she is going to bail. And any woman willing to tolerate it should be dumped. So it's a real mess, no matter how you look at it.
 
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The tattoo is VERY cover up-able. The cheapest and easiest option will be to let it heal really well and then get it covered up with something awesome.

Take great care of it during healing! Don't let your grief affect how well you heal because the more scar tissue, the harder to cover.
 
That tattoo is the real fuckup of this story.

I dated a girl, her ex-hubby had goaded her into tattooing his name on her tit, then would pressure her to show it off at parties. Every time I saw it, thought "dam thats trashy".

Think about it. Any woman worth having sees that Victoria tattoo, she is going to bail. And any woman willing to tolerate it should be dumped. So it's a real mess, no matter how you look at it.
The tattoo is VERY cover up-able. The cheapest and easiest option will be to let it heal really well and then get it covered up with something awesome.

Take great care of it during healing! Don't let your grief affect how well you heal because the more scar tissue, the harder to cover.
The tattoo is VERY cover up-able. The cheapest and easiest option will be to let it heal really well and then get it covered up with something awesome.

Take great care of it during healing! Don't let your grief affect how well you heal because the more scar tissue, the harder to cover.

Thank you. Someone else had suggested I get the "ia" removed and change it to a "y." I really liked that and overcoming this will certainly be a victory to me. Thank you for the kind thoughts and advise.
 
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Thank you. Someone else had suggested I get the "ia" removed and change it to a "y." I really liked that and overcoming this will certainly be a victory to me. Thank you for the kind thoughts and advise.
Well that "t" kind of looks like an "L". So VIC-LOR...slip an "e" in there, change that "ia" to a "ds", and you've got ViceLords, guess you could try to pass yourself off as a gangbanger.

Might get you killed, but I bet chicks would dig it.
 
Well that "t" kind of looks like an "L". So VIC-LOR...slip an "e" in there, change that "ia" to a "ds", and you've got ViceLords, guess you could try to pass yourself off as a gangbanger.

Might get you killed, but I bet chicks would dig it.

LOL. Hey I need all the help that I can get. Thanks for the advice.
 
I am struggling to overcome this overwhelming grief. And still expert to hear from her with words of comfort, or explanation, or an apology. Or to simply tell me that she enjoyed our time together. Or simply to tell me that she appreciated all I did for her. For even if you ignore all the money, the poems, and letters and time should of meant something to someone who said they were alone. That people can be so selfish is someone I'm finding difficult to comprehend. For I still see her smile in my mind's eye, and can't believe that this is who she really is. For I believed in her when no one else did. And that is the way that love should be. And yet it cut me in the end.

Ok, my sympathy is waning. You know what everybody loves about their buddy who won't listen to tons of sound advice? Nothing.

I feel like you're trying to turn us into her. Now, instead of her joining you on your own lonely, depressed journey, you want us to do the same. Buddy, I know you already blew all your money, and I'd need every bit of that 30k to listen to a guy who refuses to wise up.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but for the most part, this forum has handled you with kid gloves. But, if you want to continue to wax poetic on your desire for some epiphany from her, I feel like we'll be closing up the sympathy shop rather quickly.
 
Ok, my sympathy is waning. You know what everybody loves about their buddy who won't listen to tons of sound advice? Nothing.

I feel like you're trying to turn us into her. Now, instead of her joining you on your own lonely, depressed journey, you want us to do the same. Buddy, I know you already blew all your money, and I'd need every bit of that 30k to listen to a guy who refuses to wise up.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but for the most part, this forum has handled you with kid gloves. But, if you want to continue to wax poetic on your desire for some epiphany from her, I feel like we'll be closing up the sympathy shop rather quickly.
Not problem. I am done here. Sorry for the inconvenience.
 
Take all of this emotion and use your clear creativity/musical/writing talent and write this as a rock opera. Keep it honest (as in don't paint her as 100% the villain and you 100% the hero because the truth is she gave you what you wanted to an extent) and who knows, maybe it will become a hit and you can recoup your losses!
 
Nice new avatar, btw Living. That steely eyed, self assured gaze much more appealing than the heartbroken stuff.
 
I would like to say this last part to you. You know, you need to dust off this chapter of life and turn a new leaf in 2017. She did not love nor never loved you. Frankly, I feel that you are longing for this person so much because of what happened during your marriage. Maybe your years of being neglected really messed with your psyche? Because you are going at this chick very hard and it did not end well. This why therapy and grief counseling can be your best course of action. Also, you should be working on putting into your retirement again because you do not want to broke. Also, you need like several months of depressing to do before getting into a relationship or seeing any sex workers. In addition, you should really work on yourself and your interests. :)

I am struggling to overcome this overwhelming grief. And still expert to hear from her with words of comfort, or explanation, or an apology. Or to simply tell me that she enjoyed our time together. Or simply to tell me that she appreciated all I did for her. For even if you ignore all the money, the poems, and letters and time should of meant something to someone who said they were alone. That people can be so selfish is someone I'm finding difficult to comprehend. For I still see her smile in my mind's eye, and can't believe that this is who she really is. For I believed in her when no one else did. And that is the way that love should be. And yet it cut me in the end.
 
Was a little harsh with my first post. Sorry but I can'tell believe you thought that this was true. Especially with all the posts warning you to what was going on. Good luck though. I'm sure you must be hurting. Especially your wallet.
 
Thanks to everyone for the support. While I am still struggling with everything that has been going on, things might be looking up. There is some real interest in turning this tragedy into a film/documentary by a small independent film group. So I should definitely recoup my investment and make a very handsome profit as well. And I would rather be in a loving relationship that have the money. And maybe I can as a parting gesture help her to leave this place that she says she hates so much. It may sound crazy but I still believe that she wants out and told any grudges towards all the lies.
 
Thanks to everyone for the support. While I am still struggling with everything that has been going on, things might be looking up. There is some real interest in turning this tragedy into a film/documentary by a small independent film group. So I should definitely recoup my investment and make a very handsome profit as well. And I would rather be in a loving relationship that have the money. And maybe I can as a parting gesture help her to leave this place that she says she hates so much. It may sound crazy but I still believe that she wants out and told any grudges towards all the lies.

Whenever I facepalm a post, I just click on it. I don't actually physically facepalm! Until this one!

Dude! Wake up! She loves her job! Her and her husband are enjoying the living fuck out her how lucrative her job is. They go out to fancy dinners in the pretty Bucharest city centre. They go on nice holidays! She probably helps her parents and his parents with that money. They are maybe saving up to open some cute B&B in the near future... you know... when she is ready to leave. She is not a fucking victim. She knows exactly what she's doing and loving every single minute and penny of it.

A parting gesture? Are you joking????

From you this point on you have literally lost all my sympathy. Good luck to you, sir.
 
...And maybe I can as a parting gesture help her to leave this place that she says she hates so much. It may sound crazy but I still believe that she wants out and told any grudges towards all the lies.
If by crazy, you mean delusional and obsessive, then yes. Crazy.
 
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