Am I Simply Being Gullible?

[Deleted member 31926]

I will cut contact with her until then and tell her to contact me once she is finished if she wants to start a real relationship. I will put the ownership on her... Does any of this make sense?

Absolutely, and I think that's an excellent plan. If she misses you she'll get in contact with you again soon enough. One way or another, you'll have your answer.

Likewise, I think insisting she come see you in America first is a great idea. Again, if you're really as valuable to her as you believe, she won't mind making the trip. And demanding this sort of effort from her up-front helps protect you from being fooled.

Sincerely, best of luck. Let us know how things work out.

 

[cherrybomb1111]

She says that she cannot meet me outside of cam or contact me because she will lose her job. Is that not true? Appreciate the support. It is very much appreciated.

well unless the studio stalks her every move outside of cam then no she won't loose her job. Do they tap her phone and watch her emails? I mean how far do her employers go to monitor her communications outside of work? They don't. I've given people my email and Skype my Twitter. There are plenty of ways to communicate outside of the cam world. And it's very easy to go around the rules and regs. Sounds like a lack of motivation on her part. I'm sure you have given her your contact info. Where there is a will there is a way. I have a boyfriend that I am in love with... If he wasn't around I'm sure there would be someone that I would have communicated with consistently and maybe even fell in love with. If you love someone you make the effort to talk to them! Right?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

She says that she cannot meet me outside of cam or contact me because she will lose her job. Is that not true?

If it is true, then that tells you her job means more to her than meeting/having contact with you away from the cam

If it is not, then she is lying to you.

 

[LivingInMyth]

well unless the studio stalks her every move outside of cam then no she won't loose her job. Do they tap her phone and watch her emails? I mean how far do her employers go to monitor her communications outside of work? They don't. I've given people my email and Skype my Twitter. There are plenty of ways to communicate outside of the cam world. And it's very easy to go around the rules and regs. Sounds like a lack of motivation on her part. I'm sure you have given her your contact info. Where there is a will there is a way. I have a boyfriend that I am in love with... If he wasn't around I'm sure there would be someone that I would have communicated with consistently and maybe even fell in love with. If you love someone you make the effort to talk to them! Right?

Yes, I totally agree that if you love someone you make the effort to talk to them. And I have always felt that it was me putting in the effort so I truly appreciate your comments as I believe that they're revealing.

 

[LivingInMyth]

If it is true, then that tells you her job means more to her than meeting/having contact with you away from the cam

If it is not, then she is lying to you.

Yes, for now her job is clearly more important although she says she plans to quit in December so that we can be together so the messaging is mixed.Thank you for the note.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Absolutely, and I think that's an excellent plan. If she misses you she'll get in contact with you again soon enough. One way or another, you'll have your answer.

Likewise, I think insisting she come see you in America first is a great idea. Again, if you're really as valuable to her as you believe, she won't mind making the trip. And demanding this sort of effort from her up-front helps protect you from being fooled.

Sincerely, best of luck. Let us know how things work out.

Simon, thank you so much for your thoughtful commentary. And I feel better knowing that you think my plan is cohesive. I promise to stick to my guns on this and I will let everyone know how things turn out.

 

[cherrybomb1111]

I believe that you have spoiled her a little too much. They always talk about cam girls becoming victims. But in all reality anyone can be a victim if they choose too. If you allow yourself to become emotionally attached to a emotional and financial leech then your allowing yourself to be a victim to that. The fact that she has never preformed a show for you after the thousands invested in her proves that she's a leech. Most cam girls work tirelessly for that kind of money. most cam girls are naked after the first 50 tokens.. I believe it will be healthy for you to step back for a while. It seems that you enjoy her company which is all good and well but company in real life is free. Say hi to a pretty lady at a coffee shop and revel on real life conversation that is not one-sided. Or pay per minute kind of transaction.

 

[LivingInMyth]

I believe that you have spoiled her a little too much. They always talk about cam girls becoming victims. But in all reality anyone can be a victim if they choose too. If you allow yourself to become emotionally attached to a emotional and financial leech then your allowing yourself to be a victim to that. The fact that she has never preformed a show for you after the thousands invested in her proves that she's a leech. Most cam girls work tirelessly for that kind of money. most cam girls are naked after the first 50 tokens.. I believe it will be healthy for you to step back for a while. It seems that you enjoy her company which is all good and well but company in real life is free. Say hi to a pretty lady at a coffee shop and revel on real life conversation that is not one-sided. Or pay per minute kind of transaction.

Thank you. I will be taking everyone's advice and will be stepping back for awhile and will see if she makes the emotional investment that would suggest that she is seriously invested in this "relationship".

 

[AnneDVille]

On top of everything that's been said... you do know that studios in EE can and do monitor the shows? Right?

And girls are actively encouraged to string people along like that?

And she fed you the oldest sob story in the world.... I didn't actually believe that sob stories worked anymore. Obviously, I was wrong. Also... dude! Wake up! She is scamming you and playing on your emotions. And that's not ok.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Thank you. I will be taking everyone's advice and will be stepping back for awhile and will see if she makes the emotional investment that would suggest that she is seriously invested in this "relationship".

Uhhh...how you going to know if she is seriously invested in the "relationship", or hoping at a shot at pulling down another 50-75 g's?

 

[LivingInMyth]

On top of everything that's been said... you do know that studios in EE can and do monitor the shows? Right?

And girls are actively encouraged to string people along like that?

And she fed you the oldest sob story in the world.... I didn't actually believe that sob stories worked anymore. Obviously, I was wrong. Also... dude! Wake up! She is scamming you and playing on your emotions. And that's not ok.

Thank you Anne. I have always said that I am OK if we are both victims here (her truly not wanting to do this) but I am not OK with being the only victim here as don't like being prey. Thank you for the comments.

 

[cherrybomb1111]

Thank you Anne. I have always said that I am OK if we are both victims here (her truly not wanting to do this) but I am not OK with being the only victim here as don't like being prey. Thank you for the comments.

remember she chooses to do this job. And she makes a killing doing it. She's not a victim. She is paying her rent.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Uhhh...how you going to know if she is seriously invested in the "relationship", or hoping at a shot at pulling down another 50-75 g's?

I am done being online with her in December and she knows that. If she continues to work in this profession I will wait for her no longer nor will I continue to pay to talk to her online. She needs to make a choice.

 

[LivingInMyth]

remember she chooses to do this job. And she makes a killing doing it. She's not a victim. She is paying her rent.

She is a victim though if she feels like this is the only thing she can do to make ends meet in a poor country. If she feels victimized by those who prey on her online then I would argue that she's a victim. Of course, those are her words, and I can't validate those feelings other than to say that I have seen her sob after a private with someone who degraded her online.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I can't validate those feelings other than to say that I have seen her sob after a private with someone who degraded her online.

You wouldn't happen to remember the member's username would you?

A little off topic, but I've been having some real trouble lately finding someone who will degrade me to the point of sobbing...

 

[LivingInMyth]

You wouldn't happen to remember the member's username would you?

A little off topic, but I've been having some real trouble lately finding someone who will degrade me to the point of sobbing...

She did not mention his name and I think her sobbing was a result of the cumulative degradation and this one member was simply the final straw.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

She did not mention his name and I think her sobbing was a result of the cumulative degradation and this one member was simply the final straw.

(sigh)
well ok, thanks anyway

 

[mynameisbob84]

On the one hand I'm glad I'm not this gullible. On the other, I wish I too had $75k in disposable cash.

 

[LivingInMyth]

On the one hand I'm glad I'm not this gullible. On the other, I wish I too had $75k in disposable cash.

Trust me the cash was not disposable. I drained my pension to provide her a safe haven during her periods, when she was tired, or feeling sad. All of this came at great personal cost.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Trust me the cash was not disposable. I drained my pension to provide her a safe haven during her periods, when she was tired, or feeling sad. All of this came at great personal cost.

That was not smart, sir. My best advice is to send her an email explaining that for the wellbeing of your own mental health and financial security, you can longer talk to her. Delete your camming accounts, delete any videos or pic sets you have of her, delete all of her contact details, take up a new hobby and join a dating site. Trying to find true love on a cam site is like digging for gold in a mine field. You might get lucky but you're far more likely to wind up heartbroken.

 

[LivingInMyth]

That was not smart, sir. My best advice is to send her an email explaining that for the wellbeing of your own mental health and financial security, you can longer talk to her. Delete your camming accounts, delete any videos or pic sets you have of her, delete all of her contact details, take up a new hobby and join a dating site. Trying to find true love on a cam site is like digging for gold in a mine field. You might get lucky but you're far more likely to wind up heartbroken.

Appreciate the comments. I was actually not looking for love online but a distraction like everyone else. The fact that we fell into conversation rather than simulated sex is still a mystery to me but I really enjoy our time together. But having said that, I will not be online again assuming that this does not work out. I will lick my wounds, take some time off, and decide whether I want to pursue love again.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Trust me the cash was not disposable.

Except, as it turns out, it got disposed.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Except, as it turns out, it got disposed.

Yes, unfortunately.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Yes, unfortunately.

Are you a member of MFC?

 

[AnneDVille]

One last point before I go back to my corner:

Plenty of people make ends meet in poor countries without being sex-workers.

Romania... is not that poor. I mean it's not the US, but it's not a 3rd world country either.

Being a cam girl is not exactly a bad gig.... I should know. And the way you talk about this 'profession' on this forum can come across as a lil' bit insulting. You know... we're all camgirls and members here... Some of us like our jobs...

*just my 2 pennies*

 

[LivingInMyth]

Are you a member of MFC?

No, I am on CC (primarily), LJ, and IMLV.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

No, I am on CC (primarily), LJ, and IMLV.

Well, you should spend the 20 dollars to become an MFC premium (if you've got that much left). Go discuss this in the lounge. You need a support network right now, a group of people who have been in your shoes and can help you through this.

Thats one thing I hated about LJ, the lack of community...

 

[LivingInMyth]

One last point before I go back to my corner:

Plenty of people make ends meet in poor countries without being sex-workers.

Romania... is not that poor. I mean it's not the US, but it's not a 3rd world country either.

Being a cam girl is not exactly a bad gig.... I should know. And the way you talk about this 'profession' on this forum can come across as a lil' bit insulting. You know... we're all camgirls and members here... Some of us like our jobs...

*just my 2 pennies*

Apologies. I am just articulating what one person has told me is there experience. To be honest, I try to avoid stereotypes. I realize that some camgirls love their jobs, others hate theirs and their is a continuum in between. Before my experience I assumed all camgirls loved their jobs but realize there is lot of "acting" going on so I am simply sensitive to the camgirl experience. In the case of the girl that I interact with she tells me she feels degraded but can do it with a smile. In other words, she is an actress. Of course, I don't know the truth in any of this but recognize that camgirls are individuals. Having said that, the consensus is that she is preying on me which tends to fuel the stereotype that I am fighting against. Again, apologies if you or anyone were offended. I do make moral judgments regarding the profession, I simply hope that all camgirls and their clients are happy and respected by the other.

 

[LivingInMyth]

Well, you should spend the 20 dollars to become an MFC premium (if you've got that much left). Go discuss this in the lounge. You need a support network right now, a group of people who have been in your shoes and can help you through this.

Thats one thing I hated about LJ, the lack of community...

Thank you for the great idea! Yes, feel like I am spiraling out of control and need a support network. Obviously, out of shame I have kept this way from friends and family. As an FYI, I am single so there is no affected spouse in all of this. Thanks again for the recommendation.

 

[Nordling]

Well, you should spend the 20 dollars to become an MFC premium (if you've got that much left). Go discuss this in the lounge. You need a support network right now, a group of people who have been in your shoes and can help you through this.

Thats one thing I hated about LJ, the lack of community...

Ha! In the lounge? That's kind of like asking for personal advice from a team of Don Rickles clones.