AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!

Cam model addiction

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Hi all,

First post but been reading posts here for a few weeks. I appreciate the title of my post might be a bit awkward given that the majority of users here are cam models but please hear me out.

I'm a guy in his early 50s who has used cam sites for probably about 7 years off and on. I tend to go through spurts of using them. However in the last few weeks I've gone down a complete rabbit hole with them and hoped to share my experience to see if anyone else has been in the same boat.

Now, to clarify, I'm a pretty in control guy in every aspect of my life. I've thankfully not dropped a lot of money at this point however in the past few weeks I've been browsing cam models compulsively whenever I've had a free minute. To the point where it had begun to affect my ability to do anything else. I'd be eating dinner at 9pm because I'd wasted the traditional meal time mindlessly browsing. It has become a hugely dangerous fantasy island of beautiful women for me. I was always a LiveJasmin user. While I found the high cost of credits frustrating, the need to buy them in pricey bundles usually gave me pause for thought before completing the purchase. Recently however, I moved over to Jerkmate and the "pay as you go" option there is very dangerous indeed. I also work from home and I've been spending huge chunks of my day browsing cam sites instead of doing what I'm being paid to do. Which is unacceptable.

It would be good to hear from anyone else who has experienced a similar level of obsession.

Now secondly (and this is the event which brought me to my senses) I have experienced a twist on the "falling in love with a cam girl" stories on here. I didn't fall in love. However I've been chatting regularly to a Venezuelan model in Colombia who became (and I only have her word for this so no idea how true it is) infatuated with me. I'm long enough in the tooth to know that this is largely bullshit however the chat was good, she was funny, thought I was funny and we got on well. However, she has been ridiculously persistent with me and I would find myself, at her request, spending time in her chat with her while she was on shift. Only one time did I take her pvt because having read about (and laughed at) back tattoo guy, I'm well aware of how it can work if you start laying out regular cash.

With this girl however there was nothing scammy. Not a hint of it. The drain on me was mainly mental, not financial. Whenever I tried to leave her room to do other things she would beg me to stay. There's no fool like an old fool so I did. I would find myself sitting up until 1am until she went for her break before going to bed. While I was never in danger of falling in love, there was a huge buzz from a beautiful girl laughing and chatting with you while dressed in her underwear. The first real warning sign was when she asked me to tip her to smoke a cigarette because her vape was broken. At $25 a smoke I refused. I then got the story about how she couldn't afford any more vape juice because she had been paid on Friday and all her money was already gone. I sidestepped the subject but I could see that she was laying foundations.

At the end of the night we had a falling out when I pointed out that I spent almost as much time at her studio as she did and that I wanted to dial it back a bit. She took it very badly, ejected me from the room and send me a scathing PM about how she had feelings for me and she had welcomed me to her room and spent time with me.

At 5am this morning I had the horrible realisation that I was an absolute idiot. She was likely setting me up for a long con. I cancelled my Jerkmate account there and then.

However, and here is the clincher, the fantasy that cam sites generate can be so compelling that I actually felt bad for disappearing without telling her. I know she will log on tonight, probably expecting an apologetic message from me and be stunned to see that my account no longer exists. Incredibly I feel like an absolute shit for doing that.

Anyway, any thoughts from customers and models would be welcomed.
 

Marceline

Cam Model
Aug 11, 2017
1,807
7,401
113
Like with gambling, shopping, sex and a plethora of other enjoyable activities, browsing and interacting on cam sites releases dopamine and can totally be addictive. I think when you’re falling down a rabbit hole to where you’re allowing a certain activity, which is supposed to be an enjoyable pastime, to interfere with your life and productivity it’s best to take a step away from it. You’re already doing that and acknowledging that it’s become a problem for you instead of ignoring it, so kudos for that! My only suggestion would be to stay away from cam sites until/if you feel like you can set up healthy boundaries for yourself when it comes to browsing cam sites. Such as, only allowing yourself to stay on for a certain amount of time, like an hour before bed or after you’ve finished working. And, only allowing yourself to spend a certain amount of money that you set aside specifically for tokens. If you feel like you can’t do that and would want to spend more time or more money, then continue to stay away for your own well-being.

As far as the situation with the model goes, you shouldn’t feel like shit for what you did. You tried setting up boundaries and she got angry over it. That’s not your problem. If she really did have feelings for you, she would have respected you wanting to dial it back. And, someone who genuinely has feelings for another person would want to spend time with them or talk to them outside of their workspace and outside of the other person spending money on them, an opinion which I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of in the multiple “I’m in love with a cam model” threads here. Neither you nor any other member owes models an explanation as to why you won’t be around or why you deleted your account. Sure, if there’s a good rapport between the two of you, there’s a lot of models who would want to know rather than just have a regular disappear, but just like models don’t owe regulars an explanation if they decide to just stop camming one day, members don’t owe that either.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
A bit of an update on the situation with the model. I reactivated my account temporarily so I could explain to her. I told her I was going to step away for a bit. She cried. Pretty genuine tears as well. I expected her to try and convince me to stay so I was surprised when she told me to stay away until she no longer had any feelings for me. Then she told me to take care of myself. I left.

On one level I felt like more of a shit. On another then I felt that at least I had given her some closure and didn't just leave it as a closed account. I think maybe she was genuine all along. Jerkmate allows you to hover over the thumbnail and watch the video and after I left she was sat at her desk in floods of tears. I certainly didn't expect that. I'm not going to lie, the temptation to return to the room and console her was strong but I know that I'm only prolonging the thing.

It was a very keen reminder to me that there are real people with real feelings on both sides of the camera. I will tread very carefully in the future. I certainly didn't expect to visit a cam site and have someone be heartbroken when I left. That's not a nice feeling.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Incidentally, I didn't spend any significant money on her. One 10 minute private in weeks. She was really weird about the idea of going pvt with me. It was like she thought she was in a relationship and me taking her pvt so soon would be weird. Thoroughly atypical cam-model interaction all round.
 
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
This might not be the right thread for it, but in my experience Colombian models hunt men with decent jobs who treat them well with the persistence and tirelessness of a shark and middle aged guys are soft squishy prey who are not used to being so intensely focused on by a beautiful woman and it almost always ends in tragedy for both parties.

If you haven't lived in a community wracked by poverty, where your options for a boyfriend/husband are, choose 2:

- unemployed
- abusive
- unfaithful
- drug addict

then you can struggle to understand how the priorities of someone inside that community are very different from your own, and how seeking out someone who won't beat you, or steal all your money to spend on cocaine, etc. is a perfectly logical decision and not a scam. It just comes across that way because in a first world country, you are not treated as a high value potential partner as a perfectly ordinary older man with a decent amount of money. You're the butt of jokes on sitcoms.

None of this is to say you did anything wrong. This is just a pattern that repeats often and Colombian models get treated as some uniquely deceptive and greedy species and they're not. There's services in Colombia where young Colombian women pay to be introduced to middle class Americans, and get taught the skills to be compatible with them, so that they can marry them.

The idea that Colombian cam models wouldn't take advantage of their position to match up with that kind of man and only use it as a scam is just not accurate (especially when their jobs gets them screened out of the aforementioned introduction services.)

What does that mean for you? Nothing. Just trying to add some perspective and combat some stereotypes. But scam or not a long distance relationship with someone from another country with a language and culture barrier, who is a sex worker, and who is sitting on a completely different level of Maslow's Hierarchy than you are leads to heartbreak 99.9% of the time. If it doesn't end for one of the many, many specific challenges I just mentioned, it can end for one of the many perfectly mundane reasons relationships fail like disagreements over how much time you're spending with each other. And if it doesn't fail how prepared are you to uproot your life, or invest the resources in uprooting hers, to be together? How prepared are you for the prejudice you'd face in your country or hers for that partnership? You're convinced she's scamming you over $25 for a vape cartridge. Just wait until every single person you know says she's "in it for the green card" when you sure as hell weren't transplanting your pasty (I'm assuming it's pasty) ass to Bogota.

Anyway, you're both better off. You handled it better than most from the people I've known who ended up on either side of this recurring drama. Like Marceline said, you identified when you started to feel uncomfortable, set boundaries, and walked away when those boundaries weren't respected. Back tattoo guy and his ilk get dick-sick and lose all control and perspective. It's self destructive which even the cam model in the non-scam scenarios doesn't want.

And congrats on recognizing the pull of addiction that these sites can have. I identify with it completely, and while I've never spent more than was healthy, I've spent enough to get that sinking feeling of "oh God what am I doing?" in my stomach before I realized I needed to take a look at my finances and figure out where the line was between having fun and having an addiction.

tl;dr you've done the right thing and have nothing to feel bad about. Right on.
 
Last edited:
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Interestingly, my thought that it was a scam came from what I'd read on this site more than anywhere else. Since I saw her reaction, I'm pretty convinced she wasn't scamming me and regret having drawn that conclusion a bit too quickly. I'm more ashamed of myself that I didn't back away earlier. Unfortunately the vanity of being a middle aged man with a (slightly but not massively) younger woman fawning over me meant that I allowed myself to bask in the fantasy for a bit too long. Clearly I regret that now because by returning to her room time and again, I've given her the wrong impression.

The weird thing is that having spent a long time trying to break the cycle of essentially spending her shift with her, I now miss her. What the fuck is that even about? The range of human emotion is a very confusing thing indeed.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
And as for Colombian models, they are by far my favourite models both in terms of the way they look and the way they conduct themselves. I've never encountered a rude Colombian model but many rude Romanian and Russian ones. The Colombians seem to be lovely people who are struggling to get by in a tough economic situation.
 
Jun 4, 2021
221
269
31
Well I say I got addicted at the start but it was literally my escape from reality, my life was at its worst and yeah the company of beautiful half naked women was pleasure.

I kinda always knew i had a problem but was already in therapy at the time. I took a semi time out for a week or 2 (I cant remember now) and I also brought a game console which helped me (just dont tell the ladies that sometimes I rather just play video games then see them cum 😅).
With spending I set myself some ground rules (although how I've done it makes me feel like I might be on the spectrum scale). I always tip a girl when I enter a room because I think it just the honorable thing to do, but being a low tipper I must admit I do feel guilt for not being able to tip more and sometimes when its quiet i do have to remind myself I cant afford to spend 50+ tokens (most of the ladies i follow make more then me anyway 😅)

With love, no it hasnt happened although I dont really follow random girls and have grounded myself in some girls rooms simply because I enjoy their company more then anything.
If for some strange reason they happened to live nearby me then yeah I would suggest meeting up for a chat since where I live it's almost inevitable that we would bump into each other at some point, but it wouldnt be to see if I could get into their pants rather if it's possible to be friends in real world.

With girls that requests to tip for something in particular I learnt very quickly to walk away from those ladies and I recommend to anyone else here to do the same thing.

Sounds like u r doing the right thing. Like others have said take some time away, perhaps start a hobby of some sort to keep u distracted. I mean I'm still visiting the ladies just not as much because my life is better now (oh and sometimes I just want to play some video games and watch a crappy movie 😅)
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Well I say I got addicted at the start but it was literally my escape from reality, my life was at its worst and yeah the company of beautiful half naked women was pleasure.

I kinda always knew i had a problem but was already in therapy at the time. I took a semi time out for a week or 2 (I cant remember now) and I also brought a game console which helped me (just dont tell the ladies that sometimes I rather just play video games then see them cum 😅).
With spending I set myself some ground rules (although how I've done it makes me feel like I might be on the spectrum scale). I always tip a girl when I enter a room because I think it just the honorable thing to do, but being a low tipper I must admit I do feel guilt for not being able to tip more and sometimes when its quiet i do have to remind myself I cant afford to spend 50+ tokens (most of the ladies i follow make more then me anyway 😅)

With love, no it hasnt happened although I dont really follow random girls and have grounded myself in some girls rooms simply because I enjoy their company more then anything.
If for some strange reason they happened to live nearby me then yeah I would suggest meeting up for a chat since where I live it's almost inevitable that we would bump into each other at some point, but it wouldnt be to see if I could get into their pants rather if it's possible to be friends in real world.

With girls that requests to tip for something in particular I learnt very quickly to walk away from those ladies and I recommend to anyone else here to do the same thing.

Sounds like u r doing the right thing. Like others have said take some time away, perhaps start a hobby of some sort to keep u distracted. I mean I'm still visiting the ladies just not as much because my life is better now (oh and sometimes I just want to play some video games and watch a crappy movie 😅)
To be fair, I wasn't looking for love and didn't find it. I had no intention of meeting anyone. I was simply flirting and chatting and it seems to have got a bit out of hand from her perspective. I like to think of myself as a decent guy. I don't like to hurt people and make them sad which is why the whole thing has sat badly with me.

I'm going to take some time out now. Live Jasmin is actually an easy site to browse without spending. There's enough of a pay wall time break to make you think twice before entering your card details. Jerkmate makes it very easy to just hit a button and go which is very dangerous. All the little transactions mount up.
 
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
Interestingly, my thought that it was a scam came from what I'd read on this site more than anywhere else. Since I saw her reaction, I'm pretty convinced she wasn't scamming me and regret having drawn that conclusion a bit too quickly. I'm more ashamed of myself that I didn't back away earlier. Unfortunately the vanity of being a middle aged man with a (slightly but not massively) younger woman fawning over me meant that I allowed myself to bask in the fantasy for a bit too long. Clearly I regret that now because by returning to her room time and again, I've given her the wrong impression.

The weird thing is that having spent a long time trying to break the cycle of essentially spending her shift with her, I now miss her. What the fuck is that even about? The range of human emotion is a very confusing thing indeed.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes it is a scam. But Colombian cam models are good people and bad people in the same mixture you find anywhere else. And the idea that this is always a scam comes from not understanding the context they're in and just a general suspicion of people from developing countries. And it's not a good situation, I just think it's more tragedy than maliciousness more often than people think. A lot of guys dive headfirst into these situations, give the models more money than they should, and then yell scam when things go to shit. And if you only speak English, you're only hearing the guy's side of the story.

But don't beat yourself up about it too much. There's a blurring of fantasy and reality that makes it really confusing. Does she mean it when she says she's falling for me? Is this a GFE thing? It's hard to tell, and the only way to know for sure is for what happened to happen, or for you to pursue it and put yourself at risk. And, anecdotally based on the experiences of people I know on both sides, the Colombian models really try to take things slow and hide aspects of their situation so they won't scare you away, which just drags it all out longer and makes it more painful when it inevitably collapses.

And she'll do it again when the next nice guy comes along. They're playing roulette but with even worse odds. It's a fucking bummer and it plays out constantly on camming sites.
 
Last edited:

Miss_Lollipop

Cam Model
Feb 7, 2011
7,520
37,877
293
www.miss-lollipop.com
Twitter Username
@MissLollipopMFC
MFC Username
Miss_Lollipop
Clips4Sale URL
http://clips4sale.com/store/46293/misslollipop
Thetes a really good podcast called pick me up in scared, they talk about love scams on a recent episode. One thing i like was at the end of the show they really dig into how a rise in love scams correlates to a rise in poverty and generally people struggling. They cite some data i think for it too. There's often a reaction to scams that we should be going after scammers and punishing them but I do think there's often not enough emphasis put in "hey what could we do to fix the broken ass set of circumstances in society that lead people to doing this"

They also talk about nuance and context. How this isn't black and white there's lots of inbetweens. How "leveraging relationships a d taking advantage" can be at various levels of mslicious intent. It really made me think a lot.
 
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
Yes exactly. There is of course straight up scamming, but then there's also ruthlessly pursuing a marriage with someone sheerly because their money could be life changing, and then there's actual romantics who believe in the power of love and are impressed when a guy is actually interested in them and doesn't mind that they're a cam model (cam modeling is such a part of the Colombian economy now and they are frequently depicted in pop culture as lazy, disgusting idiots so guys like that are rare.) And everything in between.

I know a handful of couples who met this way and while I always stand by that it's a one in a thousand chance and nobody should do it, some people are out there making it work. I know couples that are married and have kids, one couple meets up for long weekends a few times a year and actually are two of the most disgustingly in love people I've ever known, and one is married but their relationship is entirely remote - I have no idea how that works but they're both happy and have been together for a few years and seem totally satisfied with the arrangement. But for the handful of successes I know way, way, way more cases where a sincerely looking for love cam model ended up tangled up with a guy who would shower her with gifts and promise his love and then grow increasingly more paranoid and accusatory over time before either he imploded or she got sick of being treated like a liar all the time, or she would share her real life like that she's disabled or that she has kids and just like that he's gone. It requires complete trust in a total stranger on another continent which is just not a normal thing to do, and most people understandably can't.

Like I said, it's a fucking bummer. And I agree with you about the structural issues. Petro just got elected and is making big promises so we'll see.
 
Last edited:

Miss_Lollipop

Cam Model
Feb 7, 2011
7,520
37,877
293
www.miss-lollipop.com
Twitter Username
@MissLollipopMFC
MFC Username
Miss_Lollipop
Clips4Sale URL
http://clips4sale.com/store/46293/misslollipop
Thetes a really good podcast called pick me up in scared, they talk about love scams on a recent episode. One thing i like was at the end of the show they really dig into how a rise in love scams correlates to a rise in poverty and generally people struggling. They cite some data i think for it too. There's often a reaction to scams that we should be going after scammers and punishing them but I do think there's often not enough emphasis put in "hey what could we do to fix the broken ass set of circumstances in society that lead people to doing this"

They also talk about nuance and context. How this isn't black and white there's lots of inbetweens. How "leveraging relationships a d taking advantage" can be at various levels of mslicious intent. It really made me think a lot.
I'm sorry for all the typo's, I was on my phone.

Podcast is called "Pick Me Up I'm Scared"
 

Lilly_____

Cam Model
Jun 7, 2022
147
319
16
Twitter Username
@LillyUnderscore
MFC Username
Lilly_____
Streamate Username
LillyManara
@bigvolcano are you Colombian or latin American? Because the way you worded your responses takes into account so many layers of latin American culture. That's rare in English speaking environments so it got me curious.

The way American money is seen here, and therefore American men, even between well educated women, is always like this: you just won the jackpot. Because what he makes as a salesman or whatever basic profession would be enough to let you live like a fucking princess here. It's the ticket out of this living hell.

(I remember when I started camming I got soooo impressed about how much money I could make and was soooo happy- I was making $30 a day)
 
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
@Lilly_____ I'm not Colombian but I have family in Colombia, including cousins who are models. I'm in Medellín now visiting for the first time ever. Sorry if this is a vague answer, I'm nervous sharing personal info online but I didn't want to dodge your question.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
@bigvolcano are you Colombian or latin American? Because the way you worded your responses takes into account so many layers of latin American culture. That's rare in English speaking environments so it got me curious.

The way American money is seen here, and therefore American men, even between well educated women, is always like this: you just won the jackpot. Because what he makes as a salesman or whatever basic profession would be enough to let you live like a fucking princess here. It's the ticket out of this living hell.

(I remember when I started camming I got soooo impressed about how much money I could make and was soooo happy- I was making $30 a day)
This girl was singularly unimpressed by America and Americans. I'm not sure if that's because she is from Venezuela or not, rather than Colombia. I am not American.
 
May 31, 2021
60
84
21
Your self-awareness is commendable. You saw that you were getting addicted and that visiting the cam sites was no longer fun or healthy for you personally and made the right choice to take a break. Where you might have gone wrong is in trying to seek closure with this model with whom you became attached. We are just customers on these cam sites--even if we form positive connections and have good feelings when we visit our favorite models, neither the model nor you owe each other anything outside of the experience within the cam show. Customers are very rarely "friends" to sex workers and we would be putting everyone in an awkward position if we tried to treat the interaction as anything more than it really is. The gist is, that you could've (and probably should have) just stopped communicating with the model cold turkey--you are entirely within your rights to do so. Just as a model can ban/block you for whatever their own reasons are. Any well-adjusted person would understand that sometimes, things happen and closure is not possible, whether it's a customer who just stops coming to your show, or a model who moves on and never tells their customers about leaving. Just reading this forum it's clear that while a model might wonder where a regular went, they'll move on.
 
Mar 6, 2022
348
475
16
I'm a guy in his early 50s who has used cam sites for probably about 7 years off and on. I tend to go through spurts of using them. However in the last few weeks I've gone down a complete rabbit hole with them and hoped to share my experience to see if anyone else has been in the same boat....


Anyway, any thoughts from customers and models would be welcomed.


Your account is very interesting, sir. And I'm not surprised that one can go from a "recreational user" to getting a habit with cam sites and models, just like with alcohol or drugs or even sugar (which may be addictive as cocaine). Neuroendocrinology and our stimulus/response wiring and all that. Camsites are certainly aware of the high addictive potential and do everything they can to encourage it.

I think that it's very fortunate that you know yourself and were able to see things as they are. It's probably a good thing to dead start, ride out the withdrawal and reassess when your mood and energy levels are normal again.

Re the Colombian woman, I think your observation was accurate. FWIW, I'm in a somewhat similar situation with a Romanian model whom I want to graciously step back from but I'm thinking it won't be pleasant. I wish you all the best.
 

Lilly_____

Cam Model
Jun 7, 2022
147
319
16
Twitter Username
@LillyUnderscore
MFC Username
Lilly_____
Streamate Username
LillyManara
@Lilly_____ I'm not Colombian but I have family in Colombia, including cousins who are models. I'm in Medellín now visiting for the first time ever. Sorry if this is a vague answer, I'm nervous sharing personal info online but I didn't want to dodge your question.
No don't be sorry. I didn't mean to be nosy. It was just a refreshing read.

@Lilly_____ , when do we start the revolution? :)
We're already on it!


This girl was singularly unimpressed by America and Americans. I'm not sure if that's because she is from Venezuela or not, rather than Colombia. I am not American.
Oh sorry I didn't mean to assume you were American. My comment was more complementary to volcano's thoughts on why latin models may get too attached to customers in the delusion that a relationship could get them out of there/here.

I feel like that was a bit off topic though, sorry. I admire your attitude and self awareness, as many stated here. I wouldn't even feel sorry for cutting the conversation cold turkey to tell you the truth. You can't get too emotional on this job. Getting too upset about someone stopping speaking to you while doing you job is just not very mature. I mean guys will leave shows out of the blue - did they cum? Did I bore them? I don't know. It's rude but you move on to the next show. It's a fucking job. But you still worried about how she'd feel and did the best humanly thing to do. Don't worry!
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Oh sorry I didn't mean to assume you were American. My comment was more complementary to volcano's thoughts on why latin models may get too attached to customers in the delusion that a relationship could get them out of there/here.

I feel like that was a bit off topic though, sorry. I admire your attitude and self awareness, as many stated here. I wouldn't even feel sorry for cutting the conversation cold turkey to tell you the truth. You can't get too emotional on this job. Getting too upset about someone stopping speaking to you while doing you job is just not very mature. I mean guys will leave shows out of the blue - did they cum? Did I bore them? I don't know. It's rude but you move on to the next show. It's a fucking job. But you still worried about how she'd feel and did the best humanly thing to do. Don't worry!
I didn't take any offense at you thinking I was American. Not a problem.

I still feel a bit bad about it today. She was genuinely upset from what I could tell and that had me a bit flustered if I'm honest. I've never encountered anything like that before. I'm quite fussy with my choice of model. I like to chat first. I'm attracted to intelligence and humour first and foremost. I'm sure lots of guys like the really slutty end of the model aesthetic as well but that's just not my preference. I'm not attracted to the pussy rubbing and fake moaning in the first instance. As a result, there's often a bit of getting to know the model first. You've probably gathered that I'm more interested in a one on one kind of show than say a Chaturbate token throwing festival (as excellent as they are). It does however tend to lead to more of a connection being made prior to any pvt.

I think the thing that makes it worse is that she was a genuinely lovely girl. Funny, smart, intelligent. Very quirky. The sort of girl that I would have moved heaven and earth to be with if I'd met her when I was younger and in different circumstances.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
Re the Colombian woman, I think your observation was accurate. FWIW, I'm in a somewhat similar situation with a Romanian model whom I want to graciously step back from but I'm thinking it won't be pleasant. I wish you all the best.
I wish you the best. Hopefully it's easy enough done. If my experience is anything to go by then I'd consider taking the advice that I've been given since posting and just do it cold turkey. I think it would pull on the heart strings less.
 
Jun 12, 2022
91
119
6
There's a part of me that is expecting to get a message from her in the days ahead actually, which will no doubt make me feel bad again. The platform I am visiting has no way of restricting which models can message you unfortunately. I reactivated my account to have "the chat" yesterday and have not since closed it again. I'm reluctant to do so to be honest despite having a strong resolution not to use it for the foreseeable future.
 
Mar 6, 2022
348
475
16
I wish you the best. Hopefully it's easy enough done. If my experience is anything to go by then I'd consider taking the advice that I've been given since posting and just do it cold turkey. I think it would pull on the heart strings less.

Thank you. The thing is that I feel bad about her particular background and circumstances, both emotionally and financially. Not that I have romantic feelings for her or anything like that. The thing is that I feel sorry for her and I've been rather more generous than is comfortable for a student. And she is rather naive as a model and confused about where the lines are.

But the problem may have solved itself. Her hours at her studio have changed this week.

p.s. And I told her about ACF and gave her the link. She didn't seem interested.
 
Last edited:
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
The thing is that I feel sorry for her and I've been rather more generous than is comfortable for a student.
You reminded me that I actually have something to say about the topic of addiction to cam sites. I think the best thing any member can do to protect their finances and protect themselves from scams and manipulation and addiction is to set a weekly or monthly budget for how much you spend on cam models and never go over it. This is what I did when I started being more generous than I was comfortable with.

The most surefire way to avoid regret is to never spend money you're not okay never seeing again. I mainly use Chaturbate so I fill up my tokens when I get paid. I can be as generous as I want with them but when they're gone, they're gone until I get paid again. And I've never noticed a difference in how the models I support have treated me. They know even if I'm not tipping today, I have before and I will again.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Highlander884
Jun 8, 2022
129
258
16
I think that's fair and a good policy. In my case I'm an extremely generous tipper who has a positive relationship with the models and have been assured it's okay. Your mileage may vary. Always put the model first.
 
Last edited:
Mar 6, 2022
348
475
16
You reminded me that I actually have something to say about the topic of addiction to cam sites. I think the best thing any member can do to protect their finances and protect themselves from scams and manipulation and addiction is to set a weekly or monthly budget for how much you spend on cam models and never go over it. This is what I did when I started being more generous than I was comfortable with.

The most surefire way to avoid regret is to never spend money you're not okay never seeing again. I mainly use Chaturbate so I fill up my tokens when I get paid. I can be as generous as I want with them but when they're gone, they're gone until I get paid again. And I've never noticed a difference in how the models I support have treated me. They know even if I'm not tipping today, I have before and I will again.

That's good advice generally. The situation with the Romanian girl is a special case though; I'm not that much into cams personally.
 
  • Like
Reactions: bigvolcano
If I can't tip, I don't go into the cam room at all.

This is how I feel about going to karaoke night (It's in a bar, but I don't really drink). I make sure to have some cash on me, so I can tip $5 for my glass of water. Otherwise I won't go.