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Daily Thoughts

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I have "get a life" homework for myself that included getting out more.

I had a friend come from out of town like an hour away to come hang out. But. He's also been pretty reclusive for some time. We didn't really make plans to anything specifically so we did this and that at random. Had coffee. That was ok. Went to play billards and that was ok too, until he just said "I'm bored."

And it's really hard to be positive and try to enjoy doing things in the moment when someone just flat out says, this is boring. Ok. So why did we go play pool in the first place? Cause after that I just noticed the....emptiness of the place....older couple here...older couple there...some people sitting at the bar...others playing pool...

I didn't mind it so much because I could focus on the cue ball and not like the million thoughts racing in my head. And I was trying to make light of how none of us was able to hit a shot. But after that it just killed my vibe..

So I suggested maybe there's a place with an open mic. Those are fun. We found one and it was blues themed tonight. I don't exactly know the scales so well to jam improv..I like to bring something to play. And he wanted to do comedy so we left..

Then we went and got something to eat. Was talking like psychology and stuff..I dunno..It's always interesting to me a little. But outside of that..I literally have nothing to converse on. I haven't watched any shows or movies recently. I haven't done anything exciting. And neither has he and so instead of staying he just left.


I felt just disappointed...I am trying to make some kind of effort and really stop being such a hermit. I feel he had good intentions and I appreciate it. But it just kinda brought me down and put me in kind of a shit mood after.

So now I'm trying to watch a new TV show instead of rushing to MFC. It's like I'm trying to learn how to live a life all over again at age fucking 30....
 
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What a year. Last month in particular. Today is the 3rd...

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  • Funny!
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Stats show over 20% of Chicago kids don't know where their next meal may be coming from, yet Chicago people were camped out days in advance to spend over $1K to get the latest I phone.
20% of of 'Chicago people' were camped out? Or the entire collective?

Ugh...just look at those heartless fuckers...



:rolleyes:
 
R.I.P., Robert Guillaume (The voice of Rafiki in The Lion King, Benson, etc.). Passed away almost two weeks ago, and I'm just now finding out about it, for some reason.

 
  • Sorry to hear that.
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Every day, I die a little bit inside when I see what sort of random mindless stupidity is tweeted (and retweeted and retweeted and "hell yeah'd" and "wtf'd" and "girl, PREACH!") by my peers. It kills me even more inside when I really have to fight the urge to correct every single one of them because it's really difficult and exhausting to argue with people who are emotionally blinded to how things really work.

So I'm just going to post this here instead of getting into endless Twitter debates with people who won't learn to know any better.

qGhiEIe.gif


I think part of my bitterness and jadedness as my years tally up in the cam world is due to being surrounded by this more and more. I once had an aspiration to help all my cam peers be smarter, better cam peoples, but it's becoming more apparent that many are beyond help at this point.
 
I went to my first convention this weekend and had the most amazing time of my life. I feel like I actually have friends for the first time in my life after spending a weekend with a bunch of girls who get me, and the lifestyle associated with camming. And nothing made me happier than getting a chance to give my members hugs!

I want to go to AVN, it's been my dream to go to the Vegas convention since I started camming five years ago and now that I finally feel confident (major anxiety about social situations) enough to attend I'm afraid I still won't be able to go due to lack of finances. It's such short notice and I'm nervous because my travel expenses are so big I won't be able to raise the money in time.

I'm afraid to get my hopes up, but I think it's a little too late for that. :wideyed:
 
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Lol. Go to a bar last night with a friend. Basically some random people at the bar and a table of girls. After some time passes I nonchalantly offer them drinks, they decline. Next thing I remember, I'm coming out of the bathroom and one of the girls is sitting next to by spot at the bar and the others have gone. After some small talk, she reveals that she is a platonic escort and asking me if I am interested in her services.

Oh lord. The irony.
 
I want the guy's number who bought a fake Leonardo for $450 million. I'm totally going to make some fake Mondrian tomorrow for him because hey you never know...