Dating a camgirl and I need some advice

[Dan Epstein]

I'm not on the consumer's end, however I feel proud to say the following:
I've been exposed to extremely human people, with mood swings and every imperfection while assisting cam models, however I was also exposed to extremely loyal and trust worthy people. I'm lucky.
It's true that some people tried to abuse my trust, however it's also true that they also discovered how Israeli I am...Models taught me to use what've got on the professional and empowering aspect, and I'm damn proud of it.

 

[Neongamegirl]

Jealousy is a weird thing. It's very possessive and can by objectifying.
My husband and I both cam. We've both set boundaries with each other according to our comfort levels.
We don't watch other people's cams. We don't do privates and no c2c.
Public maturbation and nudity isn't an issue for either of us. In fact, we both enjoy watching rooms full of people give positive attention to the another. I love people admiring him, and seeing how good he feels about himself after that makes me happy. It feels wrong for me to tell him what parts of his body he can and can't show, and vise versa.
We cam on chaturbate and that public show atmosphere feels very positive and uplifting.
People tend to be respectful (if not, they're easily banned).

Some issues we've had: a high paying customer requested that I call him "master" during a public cumshow he'd tipped for. I didn't see any harm in it, but it made my husband upset. I'm Asian and there is a cultural phenomena of maid cafés, where you call the customer master. My thought process is that it was innocent if a waitress can do it.
It was easy to say because it didn't mean anything to me, calling them some pet name like hun or bb would elicit the same emotional response. Context is important and he understood and trusted me after he realized that I wasn't internally submitting to someone else.

We've also had issues of my regulars getting jealous that I'm married and that I openly mention him or have him on my cam for couple shows, but his fans don't care that he's married and a lot even enjoy it.
There is a married tag for men's cams, but it's not a thing for women. We're supposed to appear attainable and men tend to be more territorial, even in their fantasies.

I don't like to manipulate people or put out a fake version of myself and I lose customers over it, but I don't think I'll change that. I'm not good at performing and being inauthentic.
I do my thing on cam like a musician plays a gig and I like the people who come into my room. My interactions are friendly and genuine, but they're also limited. There's a line of emotional intimacy and I don't cross it, out of respect for my partner and our relationship.
We've decided to switch our couple show to his channel though, even though I still will not hide that I'm married on cam, I'm going to try not to push it into people's faces as often either.

Having open dialogue and communication with your partner about your feelings and discussing boundaries is really important, to any relationship, but especially when one or both of you is working in this field.
It's also important not to assert your will over someone's own bodily autonomy and that individuals are not possessions. You can express feelings of discomfort, but to be in a relationship, you need to trust the other person's say of what they do with their own body.

 

[SuperSentaifan4ever]

It sucks when most men find out that their favorite cam girl is either in a relationship with someone or is already married to someone and it ruins the fantasy and can be pretty unhappy about that.

If a cam girl is currently dating somebody who's in a relationship, the best thing I can do is acknowledge it and wish that couple the best.

You can still support that cam girl and chip in to her shows or whatever, but just keep in mind that she already has a relationship with someone.

 

[SuperSentaifan4ever]

I have wanted to date a cam girl myself and am very aware that some cam girls don't do meet ups which is absolutely understandable because of safety reasons which I completely understand.

And I also understand that some sites don't allow contact outside of the site the cam girl is working for iirc. Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Jealousy can be a downright ugly emotion at times. I believe that a relationship with a cam girl or a sex worker is just the same as any other relationship. Trust is a very big factor because both partners need to trust each other completely.

What are some of the big "Pros and cons" when it comes to dating a cam girl or a sex worker?

 

[SaffronBurke]

It sucks when most men find out that their favorite cam girl is either in a relationship with someone or is already married to someone and it ruins the fantasy and can be pretty unhappy about that.

If a cam girl is currently dating somebody who's in a relationship, the best thing I can do is acknowledge it and wish that couple the best.

You can still support that cam girl and chip in to her shows or whatever, but just keep in mind that she already has a relationship with someone.

I have wanted to date a cam girl myself and am very aware that some cam girls don't do meet ups which is absolutely understandable because of safety reasons which I completely understand.

And I also understand that some sites don't allow contact outside of the site the cam girl is working for iirc. Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Jealousy can be a downright ugly emotion at times. I believe that a relationship with a cam girl or a sex worker is just the same as any other relationship. Trust is a very big factor because both partners need to trust each other completely.

What are some of the big "Pros and cons" when it comes to dating a cam girl or a sex worker?

Camsites. Are not. Dating sites. A model's relationship status shouldn't even matter to the transaction.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I don't even know how to respond to that, I'm still shocked by a goldfish from another thread However, I agree that dating sites and apps are different than webcam sites. Now where is that face palm emoji....

 

[caireen]

I have wanted to date a cam girl myself and am very aware that some cam girls don't do meet ups which is absolutely understandable because of safety reasons which I completely understand.

And I also understand that some sites don't allow contact outside of the site the cam girl is working for iirc. Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Jealousy can be a downright ugly emotion at times. I believe that a relationship with a cam girl or a sex worker is just the same as any other relationship. Trust is a very big factor because both partners need to trust each other completely.

What are some of the big "Pros and cons" when it comes to dating a cam girl or a sex worker?

We don't just NOT do meet ups for safety reasons. We also don't do meet ups because we don't want to. I'm not on a camsite to find someone to date. I'm there to work.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

@SuperSentaifan4ever Dating a cam model?
Nah, no way, I like to tip around.

 

[AudriTwo]

What ever happened to masturbating? Guys who romanticize dating cam models are just like the guys who want to date strippers. I think they are fucking lame and are living in Dreamland.

You don't realize this is a job or respect. If your biggest attraction is because of her work, she isn't going to feel truly valued.

Cam girls aren't really "real" women. For the most part we are hypersexual and don't truly act like our trueselves. Some of us are 360 different on cam. If you want a real relationship, go on a dating site.

 

[BritneySiren]

If jealousy is an issue for you and you're negativity impacting her work with dreams of future plans that may or may not happen I dunno.

I had a very jealous ex who made me hate cam. I quit multiple times because of the stress of dealing with him and work really killed everything for me.

Expecting someone to change jobs when you get together isn't realistic. You never really know how things will go until the relationship is tested anyway and if she quits having her own income and work because of someone else she will regret it.

it takes a very secure person to date anyone who cams, does porn or even a model for that matter. They're always going to get attention and things and they may enjoy aspects of their job. It doesn't take away from what they have with you.

Have you considered therapy? It might be better to talk to a professional about these problems.

I'm not sure what you do for work but if you can't get this under control and fully accept her (which means accepting her job and trusting that she isn't going to randomly run off) then it might better to date a normal girl.

Besides when it comes down to it after the gloss fades and you get to see the real person with all their flaws exposed which can take a few months to a year for that to happen you may not even feel the same way.

dating someone who is accepting of what I do and even supportive of it and thinks it's kinda cool is the best feeling ever. Even when I get down on myself about it because of slow times or not feeling sexy they're the ones that reassure me that it will be ok and that I'm still awesome and that I'm not alone in this. I think that's how it should be.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I would be really put off if a guy wanted to date me just for the sake of dating a camgirl. We're individuals so I can't give you the pros vs cons of dating a camgirl because that is all individual to who a person is. We're not this magical unicorn breed of people. The whole "omg I'm dating a hot sex worker!" Just feels like a novelty and not genuine interest in the person. When I fell in love with one of my cam customers and he fell for me it wasn't about me being a camgirl at all-it was just 2 people connecting organically. He didn't seek out to date a camgirl.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I would be really put off if a guy wanted to date me just for the sake of dating a camgirl. We're individuals so I can't give you the pros vs cons of dating a camgirl because that is all individual to who a person is. We're not this magical unicorn breed of people. The whole "omg I'm dating a hot sex worker!" Just feels like a novelty and not genuine interest in the person. When I fell in love with one of my cam customers and he fell for me it wasn't about me being a camgirl at all-it was just 2 people connecting organically. He didn't seek out to date a camgirl.

I don't think people realize this when they hear about members and models who end up dating. While there are many instances of it occurring, neither party was on cam looking for a new significant other, IT JUST HAPPENED. Going to a camsite expressly to find a model to date is only going to end in disappointment.

 

[Guy]

I don't understand. Why is it that some guys chose to seek a relationship on camsites instead of on a dating site or at a bar?

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I don't understand. Why is it that some guys chose to seek a relationship on camsites instead of on a dating site or at a bar?

Because they think they are special snowflakes who will be the exception to the "This isn't a dating site, I'm not here to meet guys!" rule.

 

[Guy]

Because they think they are special snowflakes who will be the exception to the "This isn't a dating site, I'm not here to meet guys!" rule.

Why do they think that way?

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I don't think people realize this when they hear about members and models who end up dating. While there are many instances of it occurring, neither party was on cam looking for a new significant other, IT JUST HAPPENED. Going to a camsite expressly to find a model to date is only going to end in disappointment.

YUP! Sooo many times when they hear a model and member are dating it turns into a "OMG I have a chance!! What do I need to do?!" You can meet and fall in love anywhere. Coffee shop, park, vanilla job, bar, library etc. There is no special formula that will equal to every guy who happens to want to date a camgirl ending up with a girlfriend. Or when I say I have a boyfriend and they're like "aww damn " Like you had NOOO chance anyway whether I was single or not to be quite blunt. Like me having a boyfriend is the deciding factor, not something important like genuine connection/interest.

Whether a camgirl is in a relationship or not literally shouldn't matter so much because 95% of the time you don't have a chance anyway for even making it matter that much. Fantasy ruining or not, tons of camgirls do lie about being single just to not deal with drama and maintain that fantasy. After all, I don't demand to know the relationship statuses of my members although I'm sure plenty are married/are in a relationship and it doesn't change how I feel about them.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Why do they think that way?

Entitlement issues? I don't know. Gotta be a particular kind of stubborn to ignore what people tell you over and over again.

 

[Guy]

YUP! Sooo many times when they hear a model and member are dating it turns into a "OMG I have a chance!! What do I need to do?!" You can meet and fall in love anywhere. Coffee shop, park, vanilla job, bar, library etc. There is no special formula that will equal to every guy who happens to want to date a camgirl ending up with a girlfriend. Or when I say I have a boyfriend and they're like "aww damn " Like you had NOOO chance anyway whether I was single or not to be quite blunt. Like me having a boyfriend is the deciding factor, not something important like genuine connection/interest.

Whether a camgirl is in a relationship or not literally shouldn't matter so much because 95% of the time you don't have a chance anyway for even making it matter that much. Fantasy ruining or not, tons of camgirls do lie about being single just to not deal with drama and maintain that fantasy. After all, I don't demand to know the relationship statuses of my members although I'm sure plenty are married/are in a relationship and it doesn't change how I feel about them.

Are there some single models that claim they're in a relationship in order to discourage members from asking them out?

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Are there some single models that claim they're in a relationship in order to discourage members from asking her out?

Probably but it honestly wouldn't change much. I know a few models who say straight up they're married and still get asked out. I get asked out just as much as when I was openly single vs being in a relationship. In fact I think it's even a little worse now because the guys who do go on and on about wanting to ask me out say things like "oh I can make you way happier than your bf can" etc lol

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Are there some single models that claim they're in a relationship in order to discourage members from asking them out?

Possibly. But I don't think that would deter enough of them to be beneficial, or worthwhile. Honestly if these dudes think they have a shot at a date with an internet stranger they've never met, I don't think that them thinking the object of their desire was in a relationship would change that.

 

[Dan Epstein]

This just made me realize why I don't use dating sites or apps.
Once in a blue moon I go on a date because we both lifted our eyes off the smartphone for a moment or two

 

[SaffronBurke]

Are there some single models that claim they're in a relationship in order to discourage members from asking them out?

It doesn't work. Instead, the model gets "bb date me instead. I'll fuck you so good all the time, you won't need to do this anymore". Because, as everyone knows, we cam because we're not getting dick often enough or good enough that we just have to masturbate on the internet to get off. Who needs a job or to pay bills? It's OK bb, you won't have to work if you're with me. You'll be too busy being my living Real Doll. I can totally support you with my average-income job bb.

 

[caireen]

Because they think they are special snowflakes who will be the exception to the "This isn't a dating site, I'm not here to meet guys!" rule.

And also because women on dating sites probably ignore them... "those bitches on OKCupid think they are too good for me.. well they are ugly anyway.. I know, I'll go on MFC and find a girl to rescue from her life of depravity.. wow, these girls actually talk to me"

 

[Gen]

It's OK bb, you won't have to work if you're with me. You'll be too busy being my living Real Doll. I can totally support you with my average-income job bb.

I once met a guy who was like "I really want to date you....but I don't want to date a sex worker....just work for a few months then quit and date me!"

 

[Fatquack]

But I am different, really! I just want to date a camgirl so I can stop working and be a kept man!

 

[opphs]

I don't understand. Why is it that some guys chose to seek a relationship on camsites instead of on a dating site or at a bar?

I think that there's this weird male tendency to conflate any hint of female sexual agency with sexual availability, and so a lot of these guys come to cam models because they think that sex work is some sort of cheat code to the game of mating.

Yeah, it's entitlement, and also a basic failure to see cam models as individuals with their own preferences, desires and LIVES instead of, like, some sex doll that's just waiting for Random Internet Stranger #62374 or something.

 

[OldHippy]

I really want to date a nurse.

Nurses are use to looking after people and cleaning up after them. They are always sympathetic and nice, even to really rude and disgusting people and you know, they have had special training to put up with all sorts of disturbing stuff (this might help with some of my more messy kinks ).

With all these qualities, that all (hot) nurses have, things like personality and interests are really not important. So any nurses please pm me with your offers....


PS

If I don't answer immediately it is probably because my wife and kids are home so be a bit patient (haha patient) /s

 

[Dan Epstein]

Old Hippy you are the worst....LMFO

 

[DFT]

I think that there's this weird male tendency to conflate any hint of female sexual agency with sexual availability

And it ain't nothing new.
Friends, a couple lines from a song fifty some years on back, Red Sovine's "Gear Jammer and the Hobo"

Cept this arm's broke broke just a little bit
Oh I'm sorry ole buddy how did it happen
Well it was like this
I got a hold of this copy of the Playboy magazine / yeah
And I thought it was a Sears and Roebuck catalog / go on
And I broke my arm fillin' out order blanks

Same ever as today. Just the arm breaking method that changes.

 

[Magnolia]

I really want to date a nurse.

Nurses are use to looking after people and cleaning up after them. They are always sympathetic and nice, even to really rude and disgusting people and you know, they have had special training to put up with all sorts of disturbing stuff (this might help with some of my more messy kinks ).

With all these qualities, that all (hot) nurses have, things like personality and interests are really not important. So any nurses please pm me with your offers....


PS

If I don't answer immediately it is probably because my wife and kids are home so be a bit patient (haha patient) /s

Snortlaughing at this. It's fucking perfect.