Dating a camgirl and I need some advice

[Emberblaze]

But I am different, really! I just want to date a camgirl so I can stop working and be a kept man!

Do you cook, clean, give massages and know how to hold the hitachi in place for me while I mostly ignore you?

*Starts excitedly writing up slave contract*

 

[TokenGesture]

While there are many instances of it occurring,

That's interesting and informative. From just admittedly casual observation, I assumed model/member dating was a decidedly rare one in a zillion occurrence. I considered any member who even entertained the notion as being deluded on a grand scale. I know you're not instancing it as in any way commonplace but the "many" surprises me a little.

 

[SuperSentaifan4ever]

What ever happened to masturbating?

If you want a real relationship, go on a dating site.

I have been trying dating sites, and nobody is biting unfortunately. As far as I know, nothing has happened to masturbating. There's only so many times that a guy can jerk off before it starts to get boring.

 

[SaffronBurke]

That's interesting and informative. From just admittedly casual observation, I assumed model/member dating was a decidedly rare one in a zillion occurrence. I considered any member who even entertained the notion as being deluded on a grand scale. I know you're not instancing it as in any way commonplace but the "many" surprises me a little.

By "many", I mean "more than one". I can think of four instances that I am aware of, but not all of those models are open about it to members.

 

[Fatquack]

Do you cook, clean, give massages and know how to hold the hitachi in place for me while I mostly ignore you?

*Starts excitedly writing up slave contract*

If you're not a vegetarian, can't we get a cute maid for that?, I give great massages, does that mean I don't even have to pretend I have a headache to get out of sex?

 

[NoelleBright]

I have been trying dating sites, and nobody is biting unfortunately. As far as I know, nothing has happened to masturbating. There's only so many times that a guy can jerk off before it starts to get boring.

I'm not following your logic here.
So you have issues finding dates via the normal avenues, but think you'll have more luck with camgirls? Why?

 

[Emberblaze]

If you're not a vegetarian, can't we get a cute maid for that?, I give great massages, does that mean I don't even have to pretend I have a headache to get out of sex?

I definitely stuff my face with animal products on the regular.
I guess I'll have to find someone else.
You sure? I mean if you marry me you'll get free Canadian health care.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I'm not following your logic here.
So you have issues finding dates via the normal avenues, but think you'll have more luck with camgirls? Why?

I would think bothering someone at their workplace about dating or relationships would get even less people "biting," I'm also confused.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

I don't understand. Why is it that some guys chose to seek a relationship on camsites instead of on a dating site or at a bar?

On dating websites, bars and other places that one might go to pick up a stranger, many men tend to get ignored or rejected a LOT. In real life scenarios (even in bars), just getting a woman you don't know to make eye contact with you can be a challenge. It's acceptable to reject someone for any reason, or no reason at all, and in many cases there's nothing the rejectee could have reasonably done to change the outcome. I'm sure it gets very frustrating and demoralizing.

On a cam site, part of the models' job is to make you feel welcomed and wanted. They are always horny and happy to see you. You probably won't get completely rejected (i.e. banned from the room) unless you really cross the line, are terribly unpleasant, make it clear that you're philosophically opposed to spending money on cam models, or indicate that you are permanently broke. Follow some pretty basic rules, and the cam model will be nice to you by default.

So I assume that some guys would rather take a shot at a welcoming, horny cam model (even if he knows in his brain that it's a very long shot and this isn't who she is 100% of the time) than slog through real life dating, because even if a positive outcome is much less likely, the process seems a lot more enjoyable.

Are there some single models that claim they're in a relationship in order to discourage members from asking them out?

I don't think it helps at all with not getting asked out - guys will just suggest that you should leave your partner. However, having a partner can be pretty handy when guys are pestering you about why you don't do certain things. Tell a very persistent member that you don't do X because you don't like it, and he'll argue that you just haven't done it right and you'll love it with him. Tell him that you love X, but your bf/husband wants you to keep that just for himself, and it's basically impossible to make a counter argument.

Personally, I get the feeling that customers liked me better when I was married than they do now that I'm single-ish. A lot of guys LOVE playing with married women. I'm seriously considering "enhancing" the level of one of my current relationships just because I think customers will be happier if I say that I'm seeing someone more seriously than I actually am.

That's interesting and informative. From just admittedly casual observation, I assumed model/member dating was a decidedly rare one in a zillion occurrence. I considered any member who even entertained the notion as being deluded on a grand scale. I know you're not instancing it as in any way commonplace but the "many" surprises me a little.

I believe it happens on rare occasions, but it's hard to know how common it is because it's something that we'd barely admit to each other, much less the members. Everyone in the cam universe is much healthier and better off if we all assume that it's never going to happen, so if/when anomalies do happen, it's kind of better to keep them quiet.

 

[AudriTwo]

I have been trying dating sites, and nobody is biting unfortunately. As far as I know, nothing has happened to masturbating. There's only so many times that a guy can jerk off before it starts to get boring.

 

[Fatquack]

I definitely stuff my face with animal products on the regular.
I guess I'll have to find someone else.
You sure? I mean if you marry me you'll get free Canadian health care.

It's a tempting offer, but I already have free health care since I live in a civilized country like you.

 

[AudriTwo]

i wasn't joking about that ted talk. she makes great points on online dating. it is how you market yourself to the group you want to attract. if you don't want to be alone, you should probably take all advice you can get. fun fact, i helped a friend who has been single for over a decade find a girl online by using points from this video. made him an extremely likable profile. we found him a date in weeks. he's going 4 months strong in a relationship with a dancer.


im sorry i can't take it with the feel sorry for yourself because you can't find a date. try to better yourself, don't just give up and develop false fantasies since you don't know how to pursue real life relationships. not trying to dig at ya man, but come on. get some self-confidence.

http://www.mensfitness.com/life/gearandtech/dos-and-donts-online-dating

 

[SuperSentaifan4ever]

i wasn't joking about that ted talk. she makes great points on online dating. it is how you market yourself to the group you want to attract. if you don't want to be alone, you should probably take all advice you can get. fun fact, i helped a friend who has been single for over a decade find a girl online by using points from this video. made him an extremely likable profile. we found him a date in weeks. he's going 4 months strong in a relationship with a dancer.


im sorry i can't take it with the feel sorry for yourself because you can't find a date. try to better yourself, don't just give up and develop false fantasies since you don't know how to pursue real life relationships. not trying to dig at ya man, but come on. get some self-confidence.

http://www.mensfitness.com/life/gearandtech/dos-and-donts-online-dating

I've been single for a little over a decade myself. How do I market myself to the group I want to attract? I'm still new to this whole online dating thing. I'm not trying to beat myself up over it too much.

 

[OldHippy]

I've been single for a little over a decade myself. How do I market myself to the group I want to attract? I'm still new to this whole online dating thing. I'm not trying to beat myself up over it too much.

I don't really know you, so I can only give some general advice from a guys perspective. My apologies if I am way of the mark.

Become the sort of person that you would want to date, take pride in yourself. This means excercise a bit, watch what you eat, dress nicely from your shoes upwards. Just think of the amount of effort that the women you want to date are putting into their appearance and compare that to what you are doing. Be realistic about the types of women that you will attract, if you are expecting to date a Victoria Secrest model you better have a lot of charm and other things to offer. Also accept that dating inevitably involves some rejection, unless you are very lucky you will not meet your life partner on your first date.

Be honest, be nice and respectful to any potential women you meet and know how to keep a conversation interesting and going. Call me old-fashioned but that is what I think works.

Now about wanting to find a date or love on a cam site, while not impossible it is definitely much more difficult than any of the more traditional methods. Firstly don't confuse attention, from someone who you are paying for that attention, for love or any other romantic feelings. Remember you are basically paying someone to flirt with you, for guys having a beautiful woman pay you this sort of attention can cause some good judgement to be discarded. Now even if by some chance you happen to be one of the mystical special snowflakes, that have been mentioned in this thread, it is most likely that you do not live anywhere near your new love interest, this will put a bit of a dampener on your dating ambitions. Once we have overcome all these hurdles there is the issue of actually dating a sex worker, there are whole other posts on this forum about this issue alone.

Personally I have met some awesome girls on cam sites , a few have become very good friends. I value these friendships and I consider myself very luck to have met them, but this doesn't mean that they want to date me or that I would be foolish enough to ruin these friendships by trying to get something that does not exist.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I never had the looks, nor the money, not sure about the charm even, but I always aimed at good conversations.
I have an insight for you while seconding Audri with regards to trying to find a date on a webcam site, and it relates to offline.
Date someone that you can communicate with, not an app, or a profile, and don't confuse a job that requires excellent communication skills with an invitation for romantic peer bonding.
I'm out of line anyway, but after years of going to bars by myself, flying abroad by myself, movies and concerts by myself, I do tend to meet interesting people. Being alone does not make you abnormal or unique, just very human and approachable

 

[Gen]

Personally I think spending much time on camsites when you're trying to date is not good. Getting used to girls (who are likely younger/hotter than girls you'll be dating irl, unless you are hot/rich/lucky) who will giggle at your jokes and play into your interests, and obviously get sexy at your request, is getting your brain accustomed to that. If you go from a world of constant validation to one of potential rejection, it's easy to fall back on the easy choice even if it's long-term against your goals. I do this thing where I'll date one person, if it doesn't work I swear off dating for several months/a year and retreat into the easiness that is Not Dating. Wel that's fine unless you ultimately do want to meet someone and settle down, in which case actively avoiding dating is pretty against your own interests. Maybe camsites don't impact your expectations or experiences with irl women but if you're struggling, it's something to consider imo.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Probably but it honestly wouldn't change much. I know a few models who say straight up they're married and still get asked out. I get asked out just as much as when I was openly single vs being in a relationship. In fact I think it's even a little worse now because the guys who do go on and on about wanting to ask me out say things like "oh I can make you way happier than your bf can" etc lol

This is common even in real life. Women who say they're in a relationship (real or not) somehow get turned into a prize that some men just won't give up until they can claim it. When I was married, my then wife would go dancing and get hit on all the time. She'd even show her ring and says she's happily married and guys would try even harder. Most times, it was her and her girlfriends that went out. But, sometimes, I'd go with and see it happen so I'd have to put a stop to it. I can't dance, I have two left feet and highly uncoordinated so I'd only come out for slow dances or when necessary. She was fine with it, or at least stated so.

Think I already commented on this. But, I don't go on cam sites looking for someone to date. Not what they're there for. Nor am I there strictly for sexual stuff either. I'm happy being a part of the room's conversation, getting to know others and the model via the conversations going on. But, it pretty much all stops when I log off. Sure, there's a couple of models I chat with on occasion outside their rooms. But, it's rather rare since I don't like to bother them much as they have their private lives. Same way I look at celebrities. They have their own lives, and I know they get pestered by a number of people frequently. I'd rather respect their privacy and treat them as just another person than being starstruck.

Admittedly, there are a couple I wouldn't mind meeting in person. Not because of trying to date, or being infatuated with them. Rather, I look at it as meeting a penpal or person you've interacted frequently with for the first time. Nothing more. But, given the nature of how some people are, I can completely understand why most would never want to. So, if it were never to happen, not a biggie. However, I have been asked by a couple of models if I had planned on going to AVN or another convention at some point as they would like to meet me if I did.

Either way, I'm happy to interact with the models I do and the others in their room.

 

[slazenger]

Because they think they are special snowflakes who will be the exception to the "This isn't a dating site, I'm not here to meet guys!" rule.

Why do they think that way?

I know a guy who has met and dated several camgirls over the years - I'm guessing maybe 8 or so. Beautiful girls. I've seen the photos, videos, etc. I'd like to do it too just to try it out but I can't seem to implement his strategy, which he's tried to impart to me, well enough. He uses kind of a paint-by-numbers approach to wooing them but clearly it works. I think he does it because, for him at least, it's really easy. And he has a second account on the sites he uses so that he can see what their sexual proclivities are, while using the first account just to chat with them. A couple of these girls have asked him to work with them as "couples." Surprisingly, he's a little on the older side - around 50. But very fit, looks pretty young. He's also fluent in Spanish and really likes the Colombian girls, so that's an advantage. Anyway, I guess he's one of these special snowflakes and I imagine there are plenty of others out there, in absolute numbers if not percentage terms. I'd like to be one but I can't quite get the hang of it and my Spanish isn't so good so that's a big hindrance with the Latina girls.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

I know a guy who has met and dated several camgirls over the years - I'm guessing maybe 8 or so. Beautiful girls. I've seen the photos, videos, etc. I'd like to do it too just to try it out but I can't seem to implement his strategy, which he's tried to impart to me, well enough. He uses kind of a paint-by-numbers approach to wooing them but clearly it works. ... I'd like to be one but I can't quite get the hang of it and my Spanish isn't so good so that's a big hindrance with the Latina girls.

My suggestion for your paint-by-numbers:

Step 1) Drop large, frequent, no-strings-attached tips.
Step 2) Take the model private frequently and for long periods of time - spend most of it clothed and chatting so you develop chemistry and trust.
Step 3) ...? Fuck if I know.

Steps 1 and 2 are very important. Because step 3+ is unpredictable in it's content and success, I suggest that you increase your chances by following steps 1 and 2 with as many models as you possibly can.

 

[slazenger]

My suggestion for your paint-by-numbers:

Step 1) Drop large, frequent, no-strings-attached tips.
Step 2) Take the model private frequently and for long periods of time - spend most of it clothed and chatting so you develop chemistry and trust.
Step 3) ...? Fuck if I know.

Steps 1 and 2 are very important. Because step 3+ is unpredictable in it's content and success, I suggest that you increase your chances by following steps 1 and 2 with as many models as you possibly can.

He moves the discussion over to whatsapp pretty quickly so as to minimize the money going to the camsite. He also has a backstory as to why he's there that has little to do with sex (like, a friend is starting a competing site and wants him to invest so he's trying to understand the industry, or some BS like that). After that, yeah, he'll send them a couple hundred dollars no-strings-attached to chat and if they disappear then so be it. If they stick around then he'll keep chatting with them and see where it goes. No nudity at all, I don't think, just chatting. (He has the second account that he uses only once or twice just to anonymously see how naughty they are.) Then if all goes well he'll set up a meeting that coincides with one of his business trips, then takes it from there. It's interesting because I don't even think he's really that interested in seeing these girls "perform", so to speak, other than seeing what they're willing to do sexually on cam. He uses it basically like a dating site, although a slightly expensive one. Yeah, step 3 appears to be the hardest step... 1 and 2 don't seem that difficult. I might not be charming enough. We'll see.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

Well, I meant my comment as a tongue-in-cheek way of saying "go spend a bunch of money on a bunch of cam models, and you probably won't date one of us, but we'll be enjoy the money, thanks!" Clearly my tongue-in-cheek wasn't cheeky enough, lol!

But if we're going to take this seriously, you probably won't get very far without steps 1 and 2, so maybe it wasn't the worst fake advice ever...?

 

[NoelleBright]

He moves the discussion over to whatsapp pretty quickly so as to minimize the money going to the camsite. He also has a backstory as to why he's there that has little to do with sex (like, a friend is starting a competing site and wants him to invest so he's trying to understand the industry, or some BS like that). After that, yeah, he'll send them a couple hundred dollars no-strings-attached to chat and if they disappear then so be it. If they stick around then he'll keep chatting with them and see where it goes. No nudity at all, I don't think, just chatting. (He has the second account that he uses only once or twice just to anonymously see how naughty they are.) Then if all goes well he'll set up a meeting that coincides with one of his business trips, then takes it from there. It's interesting because I don't even think he's really that interested in seeing these girls "perform", so to speak, other than seeing what they're willing to do sexually on cam. He uses it basically like a dating site, although a slightly expensive one. Yeah, step 3 appears to be the hardest step... 1 and 2 don't seem that difficult. I might not be charming enough. We'll see.

Why go through all this trouble? What is the point?
Why not go to match.com and cut out all the mess in the middle? I don't understand.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Why go through all this trouble? What is the point?
Why not go to match.com and cut out all the mess in the middle? I don't understand.

Power.
By throwing out a ton of bullshit lies this dude is able to manipulate models who would not maybe normally meet up, to do so, thus making his lil weener tingle with power. (if it's even true)
I'll never understand the thrill some men seem to take in getting one over on a woman in order to sleep with them. If you have to lie and play crazy games to get laid, that may not really be such a great thing to be proud of.
That means you, as you are, aren't too great.

 

[slazenger]

Why go through all this trouble? What is the point?
Why not go to match.com and cut out all the mess in the middle? I don't understand.

I can think of three reasons.

(1) There are no virtually no fake profiles on camsites (I guess it's possible in a way, maybe?), so you know it's a real girl you're seeing and chatting with (unless they've come up with really good robots). On match and similar sites there are a ton of fake profiles.
(2) On match (and other similar sites) you have no idea what the woman is like sexually. None. With camsites at least you get an idea (not perfect, obviously, but an idea).
(3) On match all of the women with real profiles are looking for someone, as are all of the men. (Obviously.) Because women rarely reach out to men, all of the men mostly pile onto the most attractive women, so the women have enormous choice (and everyone is pretty much local). So there is a supply/demand imbalance that favors the women. With camsites, the girls aren't even looking for the most part, and 99.9% of the men are undesirable from the camgirl's point of view because they're perverts, old, fat,married, poor, social retards, and/or don't have the means to travel to meet the girl (if the girl is foreign). So, the supply/demand imbalance actually favors a (somewhat) normal guy who simply doesn't have all of the negatives of most of the clients.

Power.
By throwing out a ton of bullshit lies this dude is able to manipulate models who would not maybe normally meet up, to do so, thus making his lil weener tingle with power. (if it's even true)
I'll never understand the thrill some men seem to take in getting one over on a woman in order to sleep with them. If you have to lie and play crazy games to get laid, that may not really be such a great thing to be proud of.
That means you, as you are, aren't too great.

You may have a point here. Also, I guess it could stroke one's ego to know that one is actually sleeping with girls that thousands of other guys want to meet but have to suffice with just jerking off to them and chatting with them online. I think virtually all men lie and play games to get laid, at least the ones who are sleeping with women who have lots of options (that is, they're desirable) - sleeping with undesirable women is easy, no manipulation is necessary. Anyhow, don't many many models manipulate their clients for money? Isn't that how it works? I suppose that what's good for the goose is good for the gander on that count. Anyhow, most people - men and women - aren't "too great" as they are. And the ones who do think they're great are generally the worst. That's what I've noticed, at least.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

(2) On match (and other similar sites) you have no idea what the woman is like sexually. None. With camsites at least you get an idea (not perfect, obviously, but an idea).

True, it's been a long time since I slept with anyone without getting my prize wheel and raffle tickets out first.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Anyhow, most people - men and women - aren't "too great" as they are. And the ones who do think they're great are generally the worst. That's what I've noticed, at least.

Sounds like you pegged your "friend" perfectly...

 

[a_haze420]

I cannot stress this enough.
Cam sites are not dating sites.
You seriously both sound creepy weird and entitled af.
Just sttooooppp trying to make these girls into something that are not: real life love interests.
These girls are working for a living and tons of them will just humor you (or at least be somewhat nice to you for a little while lol) for $ so you are legit only playing yourself.
Personally I usually get annoyed by guys thinking they can meet or date me and block most of them.
These girls aren't gonna date you.

 

[a_haze420]

Also @slazenger do you know how many "just trying to get to know you nice normal guys" camgirls are contacted by every. Single. Day.
Its really not unbalanced at all and is actually a huge percentage of clients.
Give your head a shake if you think that is a unique approach to camgirls...

Keep in mind TONS of us models are in relationships or married or single and just not interested and will just ignore your "nice guy" plan

 

[slazenger]

Sounds like you pegged your "friend" perfectly...

I can only imagine the spectacular view from way up there on your high horse...

I cannot stress this enough.
Cam sites are not dating sites.

For you, clearly not. Which is perfectly ok. For some small subset of others, perhaps. I'm sure you don't mind if paying customers treat the sites as they wish. To each their own, right?

You seriously both sound creepy weird and entitled af.

Fair enough. But coming from a model who probably makes most of her living off of (creepy weird?) clients jerking off to her on cam... I'm forced to consider the source and the context. I'm sure you understand.

Personally I usually get annoyed by guys thinking they can meet or date me and block most of them.
These girls aren't gonna date you.

Well, you're just one model. Others may feel differently. My friend has dated many of them. A few have lived with him for months at a time. So, clearly there are exceptions and you're not one of them. Also, I suspect that your views (and those of many other US-based models here) on this issue may differ from the views of your compatriots that work outside of the US (eg, Colombia). Where you stand (often) depends on where you sit.

 

[AudriTwo]

i feel about the same about models who use their clientele list as their dating poll as members who seek out dating cammodels. fucking lame.