In love with a camgirl

[Offdutybatman]

Yes, this is a question that needs answering. Been wondering about this for over half an hour now.

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html
Better resources than this out there, but I like this one a lot.

just referring to keeping things the way they are and MAYBE (which is a no but I feel bad saying that) meeting one day when I'm comfortable

 

[AmberCutie]

MAYBE (which is a no but I feel bad saying that) meeting one day when I'm comfortable

That seems like the most awful thing to say to someone who is stalking you.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Haven't been following this thread, so I have no idea what's going on. Went back and read all the posts.

Have no idea what's going on.

 

[Offdutybatman]

That seems like the most awful thing to say to someone who is stalking you.

I've never been in this situation. So I didn't know how to handle it other than to kind of let him have his way(to an extent) so he didn't flip.out

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I've never been in this situation. So I didn't know how to handle it other than to kind of let him have his way(to an extent) so he didn't flip.out

Well you're not alone, so don't feel too bad. A friend of mine in the same situation, never dealt with it before. Went on for months. She finally reached her breaking point. But she was more worried about hurting him than flipping his mind.

Now that she has put her foot down, he doesn't seem hurt at all. But he is flipping out.

As long as he's not stressing you out too bad, I suggest you tolerate him. Let him have his way.

 

[Offdutybatman]

Well you're not alone, so don't feel too bad. A friend of mine in the same situation, never dealt with it before. Went on for months. She finally reached her breaking point. But she was more worried about hurting him than flipping his mind.

Now that she has put her foot down, he doesn't seem hurt at all. But he is flipping out.

As long as he's not stressing you out too bad, I suggest you tolerate him. Let him have his way.

That's what I've been doing hes just a little annoying

 

[justjoinedtopost]

That's what I've been doing hes just a little annoying

Well I am sorry to hear you are getting annoyed. Especially since I have seen annoying turn into unbearable time and time again, often without the annoyed person realizing how bad things were getting. But that doesn't seem to be the case with your "stalker" (he doesn't sound like a real stalker; maybe even a nice guy).

I think focus is key here. Things will go swimmingly as long as you understand that you need to be available so that his needs are met (in as much as you are able). You being annoyed is a small price to pay if it means he gets his way (to an extent).

 

[mynameisbob84]

I've never been in this situation. So I didn't know how to handle it other than to kind of let him have his way(to an extent) so he didn't flip.out

I think the absolute worst thing you could do under the circumstances is to give his fantasies of meeting you any credence, yo. If you tell him in no uncertain terms that you're never going to meet and you're never going to be anything more than "internet friends", worst case scenario is him getting angry and no longer tipping you (assuming you haven't given him enough personal information to blackmail you with or anything). But by letting him think there's a chance this relationship will progress offline, by actively TELLING him that maybe one day you'll hook up in the real world, you're feeding his obsession and vindicating his poor behaviour. You're telling him that you enjoy your interactions with him enough to consider risking your own safety to one day meet him. It's unfair to him and it's creating a potentially dangerous situation for yourself, innit.

 

[Azhrarn]

Yes, this is a question that needs answering. Been wondering about this for over half an hour now.

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html
Better resources than this out there, but I like this one a lot.

An e-book written by someone with the digital equivalent of a mail-order diploma in psychology? Suuure, this can only end well.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

An e-book written by someone with the digital equivalent of a mail-order diploma in psychology? Suuure, this can only end well.

Very good, Ahrarn. You are learning to be more critical about what you read.
Any flaws in particular with what he wrote that you would like to point out?

 

[Azhrarn]

Very good, Ahrarn. You are learning to be more critical about what you read.
Any flaws in particular with what he wrote that you would like to point out?

Not happy with section on "narcissistic stalker."

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Not happy with section on "narcissistic stalker."

Interesting. That is the section that had me nodding my head in agreement. This bit...

"Example: If a narcissist has a secret – one should use this fact to threaten him. One should drop cryptic hints that there are mysterious witnesses to the events and recently revealed evidence."

I did this to a narcissist. Lol. Spectacularly effective results. The outcome was hilarious.

But there are a few bits in this article I disagreed with. As with any written work, you must glean the good, reject the bad.

 

[Lady_Sebilla]

That cam girl MUST appear in this thread

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I don't think you are being honest about the gifts/money situation. Which is typical because you want to believe it's true...and you want validation from outside sources.

You tell yourself it can't be about the money because she didn't ask...you offered...or whatever...but there are certain women who make their money by faking relationships. "I wish I could just talk to you but I have to make this topic" is really code for "take me private so I can get off cam and be done working".

I think over time it's very possible for a cam girl to develope feelings for someone she has talked to daily for 6..7...however many months. But seeing a name on a screen...adding them...and claiming to feel some virtual connection based on you entering her chat room is...bazaar...and typical of those models who fake relationships.

So are stories of sick grandmas...housing problems...volatility in their local area and wanting to move...etc.

Just be careful and be honest with yourself about what's really happening.

 

[metalguy1906]

I don't think you are being honest about the gifts/money situation. Which is typical because you want to believe it's true...and you want validation from outside sources.

It's fine you people don't want to believe lol. It's been over a month since i tipped her last and still she is the same with me like always. Is it so hard to believe that she doesn't see me as a wallet?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

It's fine you people don't want to believe lol. It's been over a month since i tipped her last and still she is the same with me like always. Is it so hard to believe that she doesn't see me as a wallet?

Do you ever feel the urge to anonymously tip her?

 

[metalguy1906]

Do you ever feel the urge to anonymously tip her?

Never, i don't need to hide

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Never, i don't need to hide

Well, I threw anon in there out of consideration that you may not want money to complicate things. But fair enough.
She still hasn't seen a picture of you? Or did I misunderstand this part?

 

[CrazyCatLady]

It's fine you people don't want to believe lol. It's been over a month since i tipped her last and still she is the same with me like always. Is it so hard to believe that she doesn't see me as a wallet?

Again. As stated in my post I think it's possible OVER TIME to feel a connection with someone. I don't think it's possible to instantly have a connection via the internet. What did she connect with? Your emojis? Screen name?

Even this post comes off as....uh...seeking validation. You want people to tell you it's real.

 

[wikki_pedia]

There is something very strange about this situation... It doesn't seem real at all

 

[metalguy1906]

You people believe what you want to believe, i would not come here waste a thread on something that isn't real. Talking with me before, during and after camera does not mean she is in love too, but we still have importance to each other.

Well, I threw anon in there out of consideration that you may not want money to complicate things. But fair enough.
She still hasn't seen a picture of you? Or did I misunderstand this part?

She sees me on skype.

 

[Lady_Sebilla]

So why don't you guys meet?

 

[eclipse76]

Haven't been following this thread, so I have no idea what's going on. Went back and read all the posts.

Have no idea what's going on.

I read the title and I thought, "Not this thread again"

 

[wikki_pedia]

I wish you to meet each other soon

 

[justjoinedtopost]

She sees me on skype.

Things make a little more sense now. Please keep us updated, for better or for worse.

 

[Messalina]

I think this thread deserves an "Inspiring Topic" medal

 

[Swizzles]

if it's too good to be true, it probably is...just be careful and don't go getting your heart broken.

 

[L'Erotica]

All my Internet-lovestories ended up with nothing. Though I was like you back then, believing this is serious and will last forever. Wish you luck and please, keep us updated

 

[mynameisbob84]

All my Internet-lovestories ended up with nothing. Though I was like you back then, believing this is serious and will last forever. Wish you luck and please, keep us updated

Mine all ended with me being begged to launch my love torpedo in to the waiting clunge sponge of myriad amorous females before finally acquiescing and throwing a fuck in to them with such erotic fervour that I put my back out and had to be waited on hand and foot for three days.

Some times I make things up.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Mine all ended with me being begged to launch my love torpedo in to the waiting clunge sponge of myriad amorous females before finally acquiescing and throwing a fuck in to them with such erotic fervour that I put my back out and had to be waited on hand and foot for three days.

Some times I make things up.

Same here. Never even made it to first base.