Internet Jokes

[AlexLady]

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)


Here's another of my favorites;
<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit


Another;
<Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
<Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
<Judge-Mental> fuck me


http://bash.org - a site full of great IRC jokes and memories.

 

[pyrite1965]

OH DAMN that was funny!!

 

[NaughtyAmberX]

Here's another of my favorites;
<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

I just busted a gut laughing at that one.

 

[Mitchie Lynn]

I *heart* Bash. I follow it via RSS.

 

[SatanJonez]

I *heart* Bash. I follow it via RSS.

Do they still update it anymore?

 

[Mitchie Lynn]

Yes, they do a big quote dump once in a blue moon.

 

[heart42]

Just wish the Jesus Christ joke would've been a couple days later guys
as it would've been a lot funnier. I realize that I love these jokes but you really need to be careful when talking about God especially when today is 1 of the most religious days of the year. I love jokes too but there's a time & place to tell them.

 

[NaughtyAmberX]

Just wish the Jesus Christ joke would've been a couple days later guys
as it would've been a lot funnier. I realize that I love these jokes but you really need to be careful when talking about God especially when today is 1 of the most religious days of the year. I love jokes too but there's a time & place to tell them.

And you have to realize that some people -aren't- religious. Like me, you always tell me I'm in your prayers, and as flattering as that is, I hate it. I'm Agnostic. I don't believe in that kind of stuff. I used to, until I grew up and faced reality. So please, if you expect people to respect you and your beliefs.. try to respect -ours-, too.

 

[AmberCutie]

I love jokes too but there's a time & place to tell them.

And this is ALWAYS the time and place to tell jokes.

This site is not religious. If you are going to be all sensitive about this stuff, really darling, I may recommend you look elsewhere for your social networking.

 

[NaughtyAmberX]

This site is not religious. If you are going to be all sensitive about this stuff, really darling, I may recommend you look elsewhere for your social networking.

Yeah, that too.

 

[arachn1d]

Today is one of the most religious days of the year for only one major religion. There are a myriad of other religions, and plenty of people who do not practice Christianity. Standing on a soap box and complaining about "religious" humor, or otherwise preaching to the crowd are what turn me completely off to, if not against, any form of faith.

George Carlin put it best: "Keep thy religion to thyne SELF."

 

[Keithy]

Religion? In my /b/?

 

[AmberCutie]

Religion? In my /b/?

...no...

in MY /b/.

Won't be nun a dat heer.

 

[arachn1d]

Religion? In my /b/?

...no...

in MY /b/.

Won't be nun a dat heer.

There will not be any of that here*

 

[SatanJonez]

George Carlin put it best: "Keep thy religion to thyne SELF."

This.


Also excuse my avatar. That is a fetish. Not a real "OMFG I LOVE JESUS" thing. >_>

 

[Keithy]

Your avatar is hot.
Also, pie is good.
I forgot where I was going with that.

 

[LadyLuna]

Also excuse my avatar. That is a fetish. Not a real "OMFG I LOVE JESUS" thing. >_>

Still being mostly catholic and knowing exactly what that cross with teh weird end in your hand is made for,

ROFL, love it.

Do you actually use it? Or is it just a prop?

Then again, in high school, when I was completely catholic and lost the colors game a million times, I scarred my friends for life when I finally did one. They banned me from the game lol. It was "Itayo" (japanese for "it hurts"), and I said it with my hands clasped my eyes raised to the sky in a voice that was pure religious ecstasy. As a SEX noise. (no, I usually can't repeat the performance anymore)

 

[SatanJonez]

Also excuse my avatar. That is a fetish. Not a real "OMFG I LOVE JESUS" thing. >_>

Still being mostly catholic and knowing exactly what that cross with teh weird end in your hand is made for,

ROFL, love it.

Do you actually use it? Or is it just a prop?

Then again, in high school, when I was completely catholic and lost the colors game a million times, I scarred my friends for life when I finally did one. They banned me from the game lol. It was "Itayo" (japanese for "it hurts"), and I said it with my hands clasped my eyes raised to the sky in a voice that was pure religious ecstasy. As a SEX noise. (no, I usually can't repeat the performance anymore)

Totally usable, but the Lords big feet kind of get in the way. Might have to do something to fix that. And LOL

 

[morment]

did someone delete the actual Jesus joke? or was he just complaining about the opening line of the first one?

also, anyone else find it amusing that that would come up on a site dedicated to a camgirl?

 

[SatanJonez]

I never actually saw a Jesus joke before he popped up complaining. Minus the fact that my avatar might offend someone, but I already apologized for that, surprisingly enough. :roll:

 

[morment]

I never actually saw a Jesus joke before he popped up complaining. Minus the fact that my avatar might offend someone, but I already apologized for that, surprisingly enough. :roll:

I know I've said it before, but it bears repeating, your nun outfit is hot.

hopefully the next time you wear it on cam I'll actually get to enjoy it. the last time I saw you online my internet decided to take a nosedive and get all choppy on me

 

[AlexLady]

<_< Here's another re IRC quote. It is less internet related to cope with the changing topic.



<ninevolt> I may not be Jesus but my penis gives women a religous expereience.
<skittz> haha
<skittz> yeah
<skittz> it turns them into nuns



>_>

Bad Alex, I know.

 

[pyrite1965]

LOL damn that was good!

 

[Syntastic]

Just wish the Jesus Christ joke would've been a couple days later guys
as it would've been a lot funnier. I realize that I love these jokes but you really need to be careful when talking about God especially when today is 1 of the most religious days of the year. I love jokes too but there's a time & place to tell them.

Q: Why's the Hindu Kali not as good as your God?
A: Kali can only jack off 10 guys at once but God can fuck entire countries.

(Figured it went with the religious bashing. Sorry to continue the off-topic posting Alex)

 

[AlexLady]

No worries dude. Off topic-threads are just conversations that were easier to have where they started rather than a new thread for.