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Yes, another ‘in love with a camgirl’ thread. But I’d love opinions if anyone is willing to share them.

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Jun 29, 2020
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So yes, I guess this is another ‘I’m in love with a cam girl’ post, and I apologise for that. I’ve read around, I’ve read about the back tattoo (I’m not considering a back tattoo, for what it’s worth), I think honestly I just need to let this out more than anything. So here goes, and apologies for this being so long.

Since late last year I’ve been talking to a cam girl. This started when I was travelling with work and used a cam site during those long, lonely, hotel nights, as I have done for around 2 years now. It was just casual fun and I can afford it, I’m a pragmatic and rational man and I generally am able to tell fantasy from reality, it’s never been a problem in this way for me before.

But then this girl happened. At first it was like any cam girl interaction, some chat followed by cam sex. I saw her a few times in a couple of weeks.

It’s important for me to say that at this point neither she nor I made any outlandish moves. We chatted through her site, sometimes having cam sex, other times just chatting in her free chat for a couple of hours when it was quiet. I started to kind of look forward to her being online.

After Christmas, there was a change in pace somehow and she started to ask me to share more of myself with her - pictures, to start with. I’m extremely privacy conscious and never show myself on these cam sites, never do cam to cam, or any of that. I used a fake picture, mainly because I enjoyed talking to this girl and I didn’t want to stop talking to her, so I felt that was the only way to continue that without compromising myself. I didn’t consider this to be a problem, because this was still the camgirl experience game to me at that point and I figured we were both manipulating each other to some extent at that point.

Fast forward a few weeks. She dropped some hints about maybe wanting to chat outside of the site, which I put down to her flirting and kind of disregarded, I genuinely didn’t think she was serious.

One day we had a particularly pleasant, long conversation, just in free chat, and then couple of days later a really intense private chat. She asked me for my personal contact details again afterwards. I was enormously flattered, honestly, and obviously lost in a post orgasm endorphin flood. I’m a normal, early 30s man from Western Europe. She’s very pretty, late teens, from an Eastern European country. I relented and made an account on her preferred messenger to talk to her, again with no personal information about me on it.

At this point I was honestly still assuming that this is simply an extension of the cam girl experience, and that she was probably planning on using this as a way to keep me on the hook and coming back for more. But whatever, she’s pretty, I enjoy her company, I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.

We started chatting regularly. Far more on the messenger than her site. Late night chats. I learn more about her. We text fuck. We talk about stuff from our lives that is increasingly intimate and personal for both of us, and I start to view her as a friend. There is almost no mention of money, other than to explicitly say that she’ll never ask me for any, and although I still continue to pay for her time on her site from time to time if she’s online, she absolutely doesn’t pressure me into that. I make it very clear that talking to her is just fun for me, and I wasn’t interested in a relationship at that point even with people in real life, mainly due to my constant travel with work.

She mentions a couple of times that she would like me to visit her one day in real life, first of all as a fuck buddy. I’m torn. I’ve been sending her fake pictures, but actually I really quite like this girl and now I know her better I seriously begin considering trying to go to her country for a weekend, to see what happens. I oscillate between really wanting to go, and thinking it’s the most stupid fucking idea I’ve ever had, particularly as I’ve lied about my appearance to her. Regardless, my work is too busy at this point for visiting to be a realistic idea. Deep down I still regard this as her flirting and trying to keep me on the hook, really.

I go through a very rough patch after lockdown starts in my personal life, and end up with some very complicated family issues to take care of. I stop talking to her for a week when things got very bad, in the middle of lockdown, mainly because I just didn’t want to drag her into my drama, because now for some reason I see this girl as a friend, but also partly because I was aware that I was getting quite deeply into this girl. I start to realise that I’m in love with her, as ludicrous as it sounds.

I message her after the week and apologise, try and explain. She accepts my apology and then reveals that she’s discovered that my photos are not of me. I freak the fuck out, and delete. Fucking. Everything. Figuring that she must surely hate me now.

I spend another week feeling like I’ve fucked up something, and missing her terribly. I get drunk on my own one night and send her a huge confession and apology I’ve written, and admit that I’m in love with her. I honestly don’t expect a reply, I just need to tell her. She replies straight away, in the middle of the fucking night. She says she’s in love with me too, and that she’s missed me and has had to go on anti anxiety drugs while I’ve not been in contact.

So we decide to start a ‘relationship’. I show her myself, finally, breaking every rule I’ve set myself for online interactions, because I’m now infatuated with this girl. Lockdown prevents me from travelling to her, but at this point I’m lost in lust and fresh love and if there weren’t travel restrictions I would have. I‘d still like to, I think.

So far, so standard, I guess. However, there are a few red flags that have popped up recently.

Firstly, we decided to have a zoom date a couple of weeks ago, and she was very specific about saying that we shouldn’t have cam sex during that date, as she’d ‘promised her boss that she wouldn’t’. That statement rang some alarm bells in my head, but I guess I glossed over it at the time because I really only wanted a conversation with her anyway. And the conversation was great, regardless. We’ve had a couple of zoom dates since and each has been really pleasant.

It’s a bit inconsistent though, honestly. I know she broke the site/studio rules to get my personal contact details, and I know that either her bosses found out about this or she told them. We text/voice fuck, and send dirty videos to each other in our messenger conversations anyway, so we’re already doing all but cam to cam video sex.

Is this a sign that actually she wants to keep me on the hook to do video sex only though her site so she still gets money from me? Or is her boss more involved in this than I think?

Secondly, I decided to be that asshole and watch some of her cam show via a guest account a couple of weeks ago. I can’t pretend that her being a cam girl and being in a ‘relationship’ with her is easy. I’m trying to get my head around the idea that she’s performing intimate acts for other men for her work, and that’s hard, particularly since I’ve been one of her customers myself. It’s my first time dating a sex worker, and while I will make it work if I can, I need time to adjust.

Broadly speaking her room was as you’d expect, but I noticed that when I’m not there, with a couple of her regulars she uses intimate language similar to how she spoke to me before we started messaging off the site. I don’t know whether I’m just being jealous (and probably I am), but it makes me a little bit uncomfortable. If she’s talking like that to them in free chat, god knows how she’s talking in private.

I’m not naive enough to imagine that there’s not other men she’s also given her personal contact details to, and there are obviously men who are interested in her in real life, too, though she says she’s single. But she seems to spend a lot of time talking to me, and I feel like she’s sincere in how she describes her feelings for me. Should the way she talks to some other members be a red flag for me? Or am I being an asshole?

I’m trying to be rational about this. I realise I’m addicted to the dopamine hit this ‘love’ gives me, and it’s likely clouding my judgement. I do genuinely care about her, though, in a way I’ve probably never felt before, which sounds ridiculous now I write it down. My work post-COVID will be very different and I’m in a place where I’d be willing to try and make a long distance relationship work if I can.

I really feel like we have a connection that goes beyond camgirl-client. We talk a lot about just every day shit in our lives, in the same way that real couples do. Maybe that’s what a smart camgirl would do, and maybe I’m just getting a heavily curated version of her real life.

Admittedly I’m still paying her on the site occasionally, but far less frequently than before, perhaps once a month I might send her some tokens if I can see she’s having a shit day. She honestly doesn’t seem to care if I do or don’t, though she’s obviously grateful when I do. But again maybe that’s what a smart cam girl would do, I don’t know.

I think my biggest concern is about whether I’m being scammed. If I travel to her, is there a risk that this is an extortion scam and I’ll be bribed or something by her studio bosses? In her country camming is illegal so her studio is probably ultimately being run by organised crime rings somewhere up the food chain who have the local police in their pockets. Does that seem like something I should be concerned about?

I find it very hard to reconcile the idea that she might be a scammer in my head. She’s incredibly sweet, funny, genuinely caring, and her real life persona (or what I’ve got to know of it, I guess) is a million miles from her cam girl persona.

Deep down I obviously want to believe that this is real, and that we might somehow have a future together, or at least that it’s worth trying to find out if we have the same connection in real life as we do via messages and zoom dates. But I’d appreciate any opinions, I guess.

Once again, apologies for the length of this post and thanks for reading if you actually got this far.
 
May 18, 2020
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Europe
I think my biggest concern is about whether I’m being scammed. If I travel to her, is there a risk that this is an extortion scam and I’ll be bribed or something by her studio bosses? In her country camming is illegal so her studio is probably ultimately being run by organised crime rings somewhere up the food chain who have the local police in their pockets. Does that seem like something I should be concerned about?
This is a long con that's obviously working very well (for them), and you're in the middle of it and up to your knees. If she is from Belarus or Ukraine I would IMMEDIATELY STOP whatever is going on and get on with my life. Nothing good can come from this. It's probably not what you want to hear, but there you go.

Honeytraps have worked for thousands of years, and for very good reasons. Don't fall (further) into it.

Edit: and please for the love of whatever, don't ever travel there!
 
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Jun 29, 2020
18
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This is a long con that's obviously working very well (for them), and you're in the middle of it and up to your knees. If she is from Belarus or Ukraine I would IMMEDIATELY STOP whatever is going on and get on with my life. Nothing good can come from this. It's probably not what you want to hear, but there you go.

Honeytraps have worked for thousands of years, and for very good reasons. Don't fall (further) into it.

Edit: and please for the love of whatever, don't ever travel there!
I really appreciate the response, thank you. She is from one of the two countries you mentioned.

I guess in the back of my head I probably believed it to be a long con, but can you explain how it works? Or is it as I’ve described (ie extortion)?
 
Jun 29, 2020
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Let’s do it in checklist format this time

+ Studio model ☑
+ Eastern European ☑
+ She initiated offsite contact herself but refuses to have sexual video chat off site ☑

Doesn’t look good to me, but good luck.
Yeah, reading this in the cold light of day makes me realise how dumb I’m being. It was helpful to write it out if nothing else to be able to look at it all critically.

Thanks for the response, I genuinely appreciate it.
 
May 18, 2020
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I guess in the back of my head I probably believed it to be a long con, but can you explain how it works? Or is it as I’ve described (ie extortion)?
Well, I obviously have no idea what their end game is, but a western guy with money (and no criminal record, I assume) is useful for many things. The simple version is that she keeps grooming you for a while and then starts mentioning all the emergencies she needs money for. New washing machine, new phone, new laptop, new clothes, sick grandparents, car repairs, imminent eviction from her flat etc. The money of course ends up in other pockets than hers.

Another angle is to get you there, throw some false criminal charges at you with the local police (rape, terrorism, you name it) and offer you a way out by doing them favours. Money laundering is a big deal for these people, in which they transfer money out of their country and into your account. After a while you transfer the money somewhere else according to instructions. When (!) you're arrested for money laundering, you don't know anything besides a couple of made up names. There could also be other ways to squeeze you, of course.

As for the girl, she was probably forced into this the same way you would have been had you gone there. Whatever you did online with her is in all likelihood safely filed away somewhere to maintain her loyalty.
It's called a "confidence game" for a reason, because confidence and trust is the only currency when you deal with other people. But, sometimes you end up with a bag full of counterfeit currency.

Western society is unfortunately conditioned to see happy endings everywhere, but they're actually nowhere.
 

TaylorDaisy

Cam Model
Feb 6, 2014
346
929
143
Damn, I mean...regardless of there being countless posts about this, this is still a person who is caught up in something that is effecting him emotionally to an extreme extent. As models, I see us post the same things over and over again but still receive loving responses and the genuine constructive criticism. Yes, it's easy to roll your eyes over something you've seen a dozen times, but atleast this man seems like he is very intuitive with the way he thinks. He recognizes his feelings and sees both sides of the coin: which is obviously, whether she is scamming him or not (which unfortunately it seems like she is.)

I don't know. This is a safe place for us models to express our hardships and stories. Maybe we could lighten up a bit when it comes to members sometimes? Or don't say anything at all if it annoys you?

I'm probably being over-sensitive. I just recognize not a lot of people in this world don't have a place to vent. I feel bad for him just as I do with (most) of the other guys. It's not like this guy is a completely oblivious jackass like some we see.

I'm not trying to offend anyone at all, I just thought I would put my two cents in. :h:
 
May 18, 2020
420
387
16
Europe
Yes, it's easy to roll your eyes over something you've seen a dozen times, but atleast this man seems like he is very intuitive with the way he thinks.
It's the law of big numbers. Cam models see 500 guys every week. We users see maybe 5 cam models. Users here see similar threads popping up all the time, while it's a once in a lifetime thing for the poster.
If you count out some of the almost comically jaded responses, the threads are mostly to the point and as understanding as the poster deserves.

Then there are the stories you will never hear.
 
Jun 29, 2020
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In a matter of months, you went from being so cautious that you wouldn’t even show a model your actual face... to seriously thinking about traveling to meet a girl you suspect is under the thumb of an organized crime ring.

Let that sink in.
This is a fair point, and something I’ve thought about a lot today. I feel like I’ve honestly been massively stupid here, because I would have never, in a million years, considered this before. The triggers are obvious, with hindsight - lockdown, family issues, extreme stress about employment. I’m gutted because I’ve clearly been taken advantage of while I’ve been in an exceptionally vulnerable state, and fair play, she’s done her job well, I guess.

It hurts, though.
 
Jun 29, 2020
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Well, I obviously have no idea what their end game is, but a western guy with money (and no criminal record, I assume) is useful for many things. The simple version is that she keeps grooming you for a while and then starts mentioning all the emergencies she needs money for. New washing machine, new phone, new laptop, new clothes, sick grandparents, car repairs, imminent eviction from her flat etc. The money of course ends up in other pockets than hers.

Another angle is to get you there, throw some false criminal charges at you with the local police (rape, terrorism, you name it) and offer you a way out by doing them favours. Money laundering is a big deal for these people, in which they transfer money out of their country and into your account. After a while you transfer the money somewhere else according to instructions. When (!) you're arrested for money laundering, you don't know anything besides a couple of made up names. There could also be other ways to squeeze you, of course.

As for the girl, she was probably forced into this the same way you would have been had you gone there. Whatever you did online with her is in all likelihood safely filed away somewhere to maintain her loyalty.
It's called a "confidence game" for a reason, because confidence and trust is the only currency when you deal with other people. But, sometimes you end up with a bag full of counterfeit currency.

Western society is unfortunately conditioned to see happy endings everywhere, but they're actually nowhere.
Thank you for this. As hard as it is to read, it’s actually helpful to be able to think through the possible scenarios.
 
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Jun 29, 2020
18
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Damn, I mean...regardless of there being countless posts about this, this is still a person who is caught up in something that is effecting him emotionally to an extreme extent. As models, I see us post the same things over and over again but still receive loving responses and the genuine constructive criticism. Yes, it's easy to roll your eyes over something you've seen a dozen times, but atleast this man seems like he is very intuitive with the way he thinks. He recognizes his feelings and sees both sides of the coin: which is obviously, whether she is scamming him or not (which unfortunately it seems like she is.)

I don't know. This is a safe place for us models to express our hardships and stories. Maybe we could lighten up a bit when it comes to members sometimes? Or don't say anything at all if it annoys you?

I'm probably being over-sensitive. I just recognize not a lot of people in this world don't have a place to vent. I feel bad for him just as I do with (most) of the other guys. It's not like this guy is a completely oblivious jackass like some we see.

I'm not trying to offend anyone at all, I just thought I would put my two cents in. :h:
I really appreciate this, thank you. I’m honestly feeling very foolish right now. I know I have to cut ties with this girl ASAP, and I will. But I’m really disappointed in myself that I allowed myself to be manipulated to this extent. I think in retrospect that I must have seemed like a very easy target over the past 3 months.

This is absolutely not a slight on the rest of the cam girl community, because I’m sure the majority of models wouldn’t dream of doing this. But still. This hurts.
 
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Nov 12, 2017
1,706
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Twitter Username
@brettm1987
Chaturbate Username
mrbeefy87
I enjoy reading stories on news sites, but the best part is the comments section. I never actually read the articles, I scroll right to the comments which sum everything up in 1 line.. This is what I did here and I wasn't disappointed.


And for the record

1) It's not that you need to apologize for being tricked/duped and having feelings for her, it's just the models here obviously see it all the time and it's the same old same old all the time regardless, and secondly, and most importantly;
2) It's no longer back tattoos, it's all about showing her you TRULY love her by getting a PENIS TATTOO. Real men endure the pain!
 

EliMarie717

Cam Model
Dec 19, 2019
1,280
2,212
36
Twitter Username
@EliMarie717
Streamate Username
EliMarie717
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/328205/EliMarie717/
Clips4Sale URL
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/92217/marie717
What could possibly go wrong between a "pragmatic" businessman in his early 30s, and a cam girl in her late teens? Lmfao. This has to be a joke.
 
May 18, 2020
420
387
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Europe
This has to be a joke.
We can talk about that after you've been browsing cam sites regularly for 3-4 years. I haven't done the math on it, but I guess you can extrapolate the number of loathsome room users to the number of cam models with other motives than the ones who frequents this place. I've never been sucked in like the OP, but it's not for a lack of them trying.

We all have our personal bubble we call the world.
 

EliMarie717

Cam Model
Dec 19, 2019
1,280
2,212
36
Twitter Username
@EliMarie717
Streamate Username
EliMarie717
ManyVids URL
https://www.manyvids.com/Profile/328205/EliMarie717/
Clips4Sale URL
https://www.clips4sale.com/studio/92217/marie717
We all have our personal bubble we call the world.
True. With all that's going on politically with blatant racism (plus refusal to awknowledge it), as well as corona and morons not wearing masks, or recognizing science, I guess I better face the reality that there are many more idiots in this world, than I had previously thought possible or likely :) Good point.
 
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Danigirl

Cam Model
Jan 16, 2019
1,097
3,621
53
Damn, I mean...regardless of there being countless posts about this, this is still a person who is caught up in something that is effecting him emotionally to an extreme extent. As models, I see us post the same things over and over again but still receive loving responses and the genuine constructive criticism. Yes, it's easy to roll your eyes over something you've seen a dozen times, but atleast this man seems like he is very intuitive with the way he thinks. He recognizes his feelings and sees both sides of the coin: which is obviously, whether she is scamming him or not (which unfortunately it seems like she is.)

I don't know. This is a safe place for us models to express our hardships and stories. Maybe we could lighten up a bit when it comes to members sometimes? Or don't say anything at all if it annoys you?

I'm probably being over-sensitive. I just recognize not a lot of people in this world don't have a place to vent. I feel bad for him just as I do with (most) of the other guys. It's not like this guy is a completely oblivious jackass like some we see.

I'm not trying to offend anyone at all, I just thought I would put my two cents in. :h:
Nah. Not with this. I think it's more cruel to coddle a member and possibly give false hope when his emotions and common sense got overruled by lust and wishful thinking. There's been so many threads about this recently that Amber compiled an entire thread with them to direct puppy dog members to so it would spare them possible embarrassment in asking. It's always the same storyline with a few minute variations. I also think it's doing ourselves a disservice if we don't call out the fact that there are dishonest and shady models and we don't want to be associated with them.

Yeah it's blunt. But the OP said he read the threads with his same situation and he STILL thinks (or thought) he might be different. It's simply exasperation expressed as bluntness.
 
Nov 12, 2017
1,706
1,646
83
UK
Twitter Username
@brettm1987
Chaturbate Username
mrbeefy87
Nah. Not with this. I think it's more cruel to coddle a member and possibly give false hope when his emotions and common sense got overruled by lust and wishful thinking. There's been so many threads about this recently that Amber compiled an entire thread with them to direct puppy dog members to so it would spare them possible embarrassment in asking. It's always the same storyline with a few minute variations. I also think it's doing ourselves a disservice if we don't call out the fact that there are dishonest and shady models and we don't want to be associated with them.

Yeah it's blunt. But the OP said he read the threads with his same situation and he STILL thinks (or thought) he might be different. It's simply exasperation expressed as bluntness.

I absolutely agree. As a user/member, I would be extremely glad and happy and thankful that you (and/or other models) were blunt with me and stopped me from spending huge amounts (for a "girlfriend" scamming me) as well as any debts, and of course huge heartache.

To anyone new I do understand it looks very harsh that you ladies [and gents] are so blunt with this but even I think "oh shit, again" etc so I can't imagine what it's like from your end (as a model).
 
Apr 21, 2020
160
252
16
Why don't you simply stop tipping, permanently, pretend you lost your job 🤷‍♂️
Cutting off the tipping would be extremely helpful. I’d recommend the guy completely quit visiting cam models for a while. If he’s got an unhealthy attachment to the model, then his tips are only one part of the problem at this point. I doubt he could visit a cam site without visiting her, and visiting her will prolong the problem IMO.

A lot of recovering alcoholics stay completely out of bars for that reason.