*Insert MCU Captain America meme image here*
So, I want to preface this by saying that I have been a member of the camming community for nearly a decade. I've been on MFC, CB, and all sorts of sites. I've learned the hard lessons, been manipulated and used before the model dropped the bomb that she was using me for money then blocked and dipped. I've also read several of the threads and didn't see any that really felt true to my situation. And I'm preparing my colon and heart to be strung up and lambasted, but I want to just get people's thoughts because I'm not sure what to make of it.
Things to note/Context
She wanted to be the one to travel to me first, and has said she sees us being "together" (in person and gap closed) in two years. We've gone through some hard times through arguing and issues, but we've generally gotten through it and she has never ever liked the idea of us breaking up even in our biggest arguments. People usually tip her more than me, and plenty of people have taken her pvt compared to me. And when I've offered to pay for everything in terms of seeing me, she's flat out declined and saying I shouldn't have to...But I also feel she's sort of avoidant in actually seeing me even though she's the one who's said she's a physical love language person and that things would make sense and fall into place if we met? It's just...a weird situation and I don't always know what to think of it.
She's a sweet and genuine person just battling a huge depression, self issues, health issues and things generally going wrong in her life and she has problems committing to me and doing more for our relationship, but also has made genuine attempts to be better. I'm 98% sure I'm not being used. I just don't know how to support her better and how to make things better in our relationship and kind of get her back into the idea of seeing me in the time period I know works for both of us. She's hesitant about me going over to see her and would rather come see me.
So, I want to preface this by saying that I have been a member of the camming community for nearly a decade. I've been on MFC, CB, and all sorts of sites. I've learned the hard lessons, been manipulated and used before the model dropped the bomb that she was using me for money then blocked and dipped. I've also read several of the threads and didn't see any that really felt true to my situation. And I'm preparing my colon and heart to be strung up and lambasted, but I want to just get people's thoughts because I'm not sure what to make of it.
Things to note/Context
- I have known this girl and been friends with her for nearly 5 years. Although it's been a...tumultuous relationship filled with arguing, blocking, and then reconciliation, we have always found our way back to talking with each other. We have been in an LDR now for over half a year (We live in the same country)
- She is battling horrible depression as she lost someone very important to her while also battling self esteem issues and other factors.
- In the near 5 years I have known her, she has never asked me for money even when I knew she needed it. She's been very firm and insistent that I do not send her money as I shouldn't need to, but always expresses gratitude when I do financially assist her. She doesn't like when I tip her.
- I know her real name and general area she lives in, and other facets of her personal life she has told me. And I'm one of the few who knows this info as she has high high trust walls.
- We only communicate through Snapchat as she's been trying to gather the courage to give me her real number. We have had a handful of unpaid video calls and she's sent me pics of herself plenty of times.
- She told me before we started dating that communication and initiating things are not her strong suit or something she does well, and that even when she tries to improve herself and behaviors, she often falls back into old patterns of behaviors. And she has tried very hard for me to do better on these facets. Although it's caused problems between us because we'll plan on and agree to something, life or a moodswing will happen, and then she'll flake on our plans and not do much to reschedule, but go on to update her social media that she'll be streaming.
- She's told me that everything she says to her fans isn't the truth and she's simply using a persona to get tokens, so not to worry if she says certain things to people as she's just bullshitting to earn money.
- 3 years into our friendship and connection and really talking with each other and getting to know each other, she expressed the idea that she and I are soulmates as I understand her better than anyone she's talked to and she's felt more comfortable talking to and revealing things to me than anyone else. And expressed that although we have issues regarding our LDR, an in person meeting between us would make everything make sense and fall into place.
She wanted to be the one to travel to me first, and has said she sees us being "together" (in person and gap closed) in two years. We've gone through some hard times through arguing and issues, but we've generally gotten through it and she has never ever liked the idea of us breaking up even in our biggest arguments. People usually tip her more than me, and plenty of people have taken her pvt compared to me. And when I've offered to pay for everything in terms of seeing me, she's flat out declined and saying I shouldn't have to...But I also feel she's sort of avoidant in actually seeing me even though she's the one who's said she's a physical love language person and that things would make sense and fall into place if we met? It's just...a weird situation and I don't always know what to think of it.
She's a sweet and genuine person just battling a huge depression, self issues, health issues and things generally going wrong in her life and she has problems committing to me and doing more for our relationship, but also has made genuine attempts to be better. I'm 98% sure I'm not being used. I just don't know how to support her better and how to make things better in our relationship and kind of get her back into the idea of seeing me in the time period I know works for both of us. She's hesitant about me going over to see her and would rather come see me.
adding even more moodiness.
). However, that is exactly the same reaction I had when I first heard about peanut butter and pickle sandwiches and those are absolutely fucking delicious. I will definitely give this a go.
