Not sure if this is an 'ask model' topic or not......relationship problems with camgirl

[justjoinedtopost]

Jealous that... *Looks above and coughs* she let another dude drive her car. "That's MY woman and she shouldn't be letting another man do things I can't." And again. Same root problem.

If it helps you make sense of life to view what I shared that way, I take no offense at your opinion. And while I completely agreed with @heybarkeep about your first post, I find this one I am quoting from much more relatable.

But from the perspective of someone who had to spend a great deal of time trying to figure out why he behaved this way, "That's MY woman('s body?). Ownership." didn't quite hit the mark for me. Just in my case. May have been helpful to OP, idk.

That one absurd little incident was simply shared to highlight what I did not agree with in your "the notion that her body belongs to him" post. I think many men would take offense at the idea of having a woman they are emotionally involved with reduced down to a mere body, and would balk at language that hinted that was their troubles (no matter how normalized such assumptions are in society).

I'm not saying such mindsets don't exist; Harvey Weinstein, NXIVM, and Howard Rubin are just a few recent examples of people who seem to think they own bodies. Unfortunately, among the plebeians, lines have been blurred, and descriptions have been abused and misused to the point that it is hardly surprising to run across people who take exception to hearing such assessments casually tossed about.

I'm fiercely protective possessive over my man man's body and while I usually think it's cute he's a giant flirt with every woman he meets a part of me screams "MINE." "MY BODY." when I see it or he tells me about it and I have to work to remind myself he's not "Mine" "My body" he's his own flirty person.

These edits I made...it is conceivable that there is an element of truth to them, since if he didn't have a body, you wouldn't have much to be jealous about. But if you were trying to get a handle on jealousy, saying "you just need to stop thinking you own his body" would be a little...well, I'm just going to go with blunt and possibly wrong.

And some of you say he hasn't given enough info to know if that's the case but what else is there?

Innate drive?

 

[heybarkeep]

Good to see my post was the most agreed with because I still stand by it.

Hope this doesn't come across as hostile because it is very cool that you at least attempted to explain your reasoning but accuracy probably didn't matter much. The first verified camgirl to post almost always gets the most agrees. Just how it goes. Not a bad thing or a good thing. I won't pretend to think it was accurate, or not hilariously predictable, but jealousy probably is the main factor if forced to judge on the little he gave us to work with. Dude is most likely just jealous of those in traditional relationships. I'm assuming that he has never been involved with a sex worker and is realizing all the baggage and sacrifice that comes with it. He probably didn't put much thought in at first and was simply happy to be in a relationship. Over time he might be realizing he doesn't want to deal with any of it. Tough to have any idea really based on the information given but this is way more common than any jealousy from ownership of ones body. Small possibility that you are close to accurate but impossible for either of us to be sure of anything here.

 

[Mara_Jayne]

Seeing as no one here has EXACT details (had no idea that was necessary, next person who asks for advice please remember we will not be allowed to give any advice with out all details no matter how personal) I'm pretty sure if OP really wanted exact advice he'd have given that level of detail but I'm sure he's cabable of reading everyone's replies with a grain of salt. Which is how everyone should read posts on the internet.


I'm not Understanding why someone who seems to dislike models and has little to no respect for them is on a forum created by a cam model and full of us cam models. You might want to reconsider hanging out in a place you don't really like but eh whatever floats your boat. And very hilarious (I see you like using that line) you are also making assumptions yet getting butt hurt others are making a few assumptions. I know I know, you might as well do what everyone else is already doing and refusing to see the wrong in it.


*** Just a quick reminder since this thread seems to have hit a brick wall OP has not been seen here in 6 days 19 hours. ***

But we all need a source of entertainment so carry on

 

[heybarkeep]

I'm not Understanding why someone who seems to dislike models and has little to no respect for them is on a forum created by a cam model and full of us cam models. You might want to reconsider hanging out in a place you don't really like but eh whatever floats your boat. And very hilarious (I see you like using that line) you are also making assumptions yet getting butt hurt others are making a few assumptions. I know I know, you might as well do what everyone else is already doing and refusing to see the wrong in it.

Poorly thought out assumption that I assume is directed at me. In general, I like and respect camgirls and sex workers just fine. Do I like and respect all of them or all those here? Good lord no. Lots of respect for the owner of the forum even if I probably disagree with her on many things. You can't expect to be liked by everyone. Nor should you really care once you reach a certain age. I don't expect many to like or even respect me. Not worried about it. You can pretend I'm getting butthurt but I'll just find amusement in you being all emotional and using butthurt. How retro.

 

[Mara_Jayne]

Poorly thought out assumption that I assume is directed at me. In general, I like and respect camgirls and sex workers just fine. Do I like and respect all of them or all those here? Good lord no. Lots of respect for the owner of the forum even if I probably disagree with her on many things. You can't expect to be liked by everyone. Nor should you really care once you reach a certain age. I don't expect many to like or even respect me. Not worried about it. You can pretend I'm getting butthurt but I'll just find amusement in you being all emotional and using butthurt. How retro.

Nice assumption that I'm being emotional. I find it amusing that you are trying your hardest to make us believe that everything said to you does not bother you Word of advice, pushing the "I'm so amused" "I find it hilarious" over and over kinda gives it away that you do in fact care. Either way, you're repeating yourself a lot. Those who don't really care would come in, drop a few messages then leave. Im here simply because it's my lazy day and I ran outta things to read on here. Yeah I know I spend waaaay too much time here. I'll admit I felt annoyed when you started chiming in trying to push peoples buttons but it got old real quick and now *shrugs* I know you'll carry on so I'll just mosey on outta here.

And thanks for the retro comment. I like being a retro lady, though I could have done better I'm sure.

 

[heybarkeep]

Nice assumption that I'm being emotional. I find it amusing that you are trying your hardest to make us believe that everything said to you does not bother you

You figured me out lady. I'm so super bothered by all this. I just can't get over it.

Word of advice, pushing the "I'm so amused" "I find it hilarious" over and over kinda gives it away that you do in fact care.

Going to ignore your advice and continue being amused and not caring.

Those who don't really care would come in, drop a few messages then leave. Im here simply because it's my lazy day and I ran outta things to read on here.

I kinda had to respond to your silly assumptions because you accused me of not liking or respecting camgirls.

I'll admit I felt annoyed when you started chiming in trying to push peoples buttons but it got old real quick and now *shrugs* I know you'll carry on so I'll just mosey on outta here.

Reality shouldn't really annoy you or push your buttons. Pretty obvious that you just wanted to argue. None of this is new to me lady.

And thanks for the retro comment. I like being a retro lady, though I could have done better I'm sure.

I'm sure you could have but no worries. You do you and follow your bliss and whatnot.

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[terrorbird_jones]

I think this advice is very valid.

To the OP: I know you guys met online, and having a long distance relationship probably means you try to get as much company/attention as she can give, but if you met someone because they were working in a bar you liked going to, would you then go and show up every single shift and watch them being smiley and chatty with every customer while they have to ignore you? That'd be weird if you did. The odd pop in is one thing, but essentially when a person is working, just because you can stop by, doesn't mean you should. I have had two long term relationships since I first started camming, and neither partner has ever seen me cam. Both relationships were incredibly close and filled with love and trust, enough that while I never forbade it, I think it's been very apparent that there are some things that don't need to be seen in the flesh. While I think some camgirls partners watch them cam, it also seems more popular opinion that it causes problems. I once did a G/G group show with another model and her boyfriend watched, it caused huge upsetting issues because him actually having seen it brought up certain feelings he didn't think he'd have. I think they were fine in the end, but moral of the story is, even the least possessive person may well get uncomfortable feelings when they watch their girlfriend doing cam work. Non-possessive people might be aware of that and decide not to play with fire and just let those feelings go, while possessive people might go the opposite way, trying to gain more control, trying to watch as much as possible as a form of surveillance.
If the OP does want to lose these feelings of jealousy and be in a real relationship with this woman, he needs to stop treating her like a camgirl. Camming is her job, and her job choice will be due to certain personality traits, but at the end of the day it should not define your relationship with her. Therefore stop watching her and stop modding her room. Make your relationship separate, make it about you and her, not about her job. Create boundaries that would be there in any relationship when their partner goes to work, where your time together is just about you guys.

While she may say she doesn't want to cam once she gets married, something I've heard women in the sex industry say before, this often stems from an unhealthy attitude towards marriage being a form of ownership. As in getting married it's ok for the woman to become completely dependent on the man and not allow any other man to see her body because she's essentially exclusively "owned". This attitude always seems on par with people who say "I'll quite smoking at 25", "I will start saving money when...", "I will stop cheating when I get married" or "diet starts Monday". Sure, some people do make these goals, but it's not realistic. If she said that she would quit camming when she has children that's slightly different, but marriage shouldn't really prevent a person from working and it certainly won't alter her personality. Unless the only reason she's camming is income and she wants to be supported by a rich husband, and you're rich enough to support her and give her lifelong security after you get married (even if you get divorced), then this sounds like something you shouldn't really count on. A marriage is not a purchase of a person, it should just be a continuation of your relationship with more legal rights if the relationship breaks down or disaster strikes.

Has she considered visiting you on a relationship or tourist visa for a period of time? As she is a camgirl she could work from anywhere. It seems a bit full on to never have experienced living together as a couple and then suddenly expect to get married and be tired down for life when she could spend 6+ months with you seeing how it goes. If neither of you are willing to do that then it's clearly not meant to be. Getting married instantly will just put huge amounts of pressure on you both, especially after you're already having problems now and expecting her to quite her source of income for you. That would be my suggestion, think of a more temporary way for you to explore what it's actually like to be in a relationship and then you can decide. Also it would be way easier to apply for a spousal visa if you have in person evidence of your relationship.

Spot. On.

 

[heybarkeep]

View attachment 76237

You can always just put me on ignore. Remember when I put you on ignore for boring me? Good times. Pretty bizarre how interested you are in my attention yet claim to think so little of me.

 

[terrorbird_jones]

You can always just put me on ignore. Remember when I put you on ignore for boring me? Good times. Pretty bizarre how interested you are in my attention yet claim to think so little of me.

?

 

[AudriTwo]

?

is he still going, good lord.

 

[Dan Epstein]

Whatever this thread has been smoking, I want some too please....

 

[AlbinoGator]

Whatever this thread has been smoking, I want some too please....

That would be crack.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Never give a crackhead money to go pick you up a bag of weed.

 

[AlbinoGator]

Never give a crackhead money to go pick you up a bag of weed.

And never give a heroin junkie money to buy a bag of crack.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I really don't have much left to give. The meth freaks from the trailer park up the road stole everything that wasn't nailed down.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I really don't have much left to give. The meth freaks from the trailer park up the road stole everything that wasn't nailed down.

I'm still shocked my jewelry didn't disappear when my meth head relatives were staying with me, but I don't think they knew that there was real jewelry hiding in amongst the Claire's and Hot Topic shit.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I'm still shocked my jewelry didn't disappear when my meth head relatives were staying with me, but I don't think they knew that there was real jewelry hiding in amongst the Claire's and Hot Topic shit.

I totally doped this thread! All your dope are belong to me now...

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I'm still shocked my jewelry didn't disappear when my meth head relatives were staying with me, but I don't think they knew that there was real jewelry hiding in amongst the Claire's and Hot Topic shit.

They are a fukin mess alright.

I mean any hard drug addict will steal, but I guess the meth just gives them energy to pillage for days on end. When you start ripping copper and wiring out of empty houses, that is some next level shit right there...

 

[Emberblaze]

They are a fukin mess alright.

I mean any hard drug addict will steal, but I guess the meth just gives them energy to pillage for days on end. When you start ripping copper and wiring out of empty houses, that is some next level shit right there...

Honestly this is one of the more respectable things my family member that used to be an addict did. Long abandoned buildings scheduled to be bulldozed. Not all addicts steal from their loved ones. We had minor shit go missing like change but he never stole from us in any impactful way. Borrowed money never returned but outright theft wasn't a thing.

Not all addicts will steal from people. Some won't steal from anyone. Some will only steal from strangers.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

#notalljunkies

 

[Dan Epstein]

Most addicts I know get stolen from, especially when they're sober.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Most addicts I have known didn't really have any shit worth stealing. Except, for a brief time, my goddam weedeater.

 

[heybarkeep]

?

Why are you quoting me? I wasn't talking to you. Do you not understand how forums work? You clearly don't understand what a bad troll attempt is or how posting works.

 

[heybarkeep]

is he still going, good lord.

Are you still aggressively embarrassing? Good lord

 

[heybarkeep]

Most addicts I have known didn't really have any shit worth stealing. Except, for a brief time, my goddam weedeater.

I knew some pretty stand up junkies. They would just disappear. Wouldn't even try fronting money before doing so. First sign that something was up is when they'd quit drinking or buying herb.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I knew some pretty stand up junkies. They would just disappear.

Oh I'm not saying they don't exist. I worked with one for the better part of 10 years almost, she held down two jobs nearly the whole time I knew her.

Had two in my family though; one of them took to stealing things he thought wouldn't get noticed (which is really messed up, since you wind up scratching your head wondering if your memory is going bad about where you put stuff), and the other one just disappeared one day with the flatscreen, xbox, and other stuff right out of the living room.

Ember mentioned one in her family that was helping to recycle long abandoned buildings; that's all well and good I guess, but in an area I lived in, tweakers took to helping recycle houses that came on the market (ones that people were trying to sell, not ones scheduled to be bulldozed).

 

[heybarkeep]

Oh I'm not saying they don't exist. I worked with one for the better part of 10 years almost, she held down two jobs nearly the whole time I knew her.

Hope you didn't take that as defending junkies or pretending that the stereotypes aren't usually accurate. Just strange how a few are still prideful and honorable about it if that makes sense.

Had two in my family though; one of them took to stealing things he thought wouldn't get noticed (which is really messed up, since you wind up scratching your head wondering if your memory is going bad about where you put stuff), and the other one just disappeared one day with the flatscreen, xbox, and other stuff right out of the living room.

Ember mentioned one in her family that was helping to recycle long abandoned buildings; that's all well and good I guess, but in an area I lived in, tweakers took to helping recycle houses that came on the market (ones that people were trying to sell, not ones scheduled to be bulldozed).

Speed freaks or tweakers or methheads or whatever they are now are thankfully rare around here. People doing and buying meth thinking that it is coke is strangely common. Overly privileged high school kids dying from heroin or what they assume to be heroin is unfortunately somewhat common. Weird to me because when I was in high school it wasn't ever around. Knew even back then to never try it but the option wasn't ever there. We had weird shit like opium and mescaline available that I never hear about these days.

 

[Dan Epstein]

One of the common mistakes people make about addicts, is assuming them to be stupid and lazy. There’s TV reality, and there’s reality.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Hope you didn't take that as defending junkies or pretending that the stereotypes aren't usually accurate. Just strange how a few are still prideful and honorable about it if that makes sense.

No, not really, just trying to keep the thread from getting too boring until OP returns.

Speed freaks or tweakers or methheads or whatever they are now are thankfully rare around here. People doing and buying meth thinking that it is coke is strangely common. Overly privileged high school kids dying from heroin or what they assume to be heroin is unfortunately somewhat common. Weird to me because when I was in high school it wasn't ever around. Knew even back then to never try it but the option wasn't ever there. We had weird shit like opium and mescaline available that I never hear about these days.

Here too. Guess it has died down, meth was much more prevalent around 10-15 years ago. Or maybe they are just laying low now that all the easy copper and lawnmowers have done been liberated.

Seems to me that the government/media hysteria lags behind most of these epidemics. By the time everybody is talking about it, they seem to have about run their course.