What would you do if a fan approached you in real life?

[SenaLuna]

I've seen people informing newbies and aspirants that if they're afraid of being recognized camming isn't for them, and I've seen people talk about being recognized by friends old or current, but I've never seen an in-depth discussion on this in particular.

I'm pretty sure the chances of a guy approaching a girl he knew from camming would be relatively low since they're faceless anons online and likely wouldn't want to publicly admit they perv on camgirls, but if it did happen how would you react?

Would you clam up but still talk to them?

Would you bolt the fuck away out of fear?

Would you be kind and have a nice chat with them?

Would you play a game of "...who?" and make them feel awkward about possibly admitting to a stranger that they watch cams?

 

[BarbieLuv]

I've run into guys who watch my cam a few times IRL, and my reaction is completely 100% dependent on how they approach me.

~ If someone comes up to me, is very polite and discreet and simply says they're a fan of mine without bringing up anything adult in nature, that's totally fine! I'm more than happy to say hi, thank them for being a fan, and of course ask for their discretion in not revealing my location online. (Note that this is what happens the majority of the time, and I've never had any issues with security from these sorts of meetings; most of my fans are pretty awesome guys both online and off. :-D )

~ If a guy approaches me and starts hitting on me in a weird/off way, or making suggestive remarks that imply that he knows what I do for a living and somehow has the (VERY WRONG) idea that my job means I'll fuck him IRL... I'll say that I don't know who he is and that I feel very uncomfortable in a loud enough voice that it gets the attention of people around me (the more eyes on me, the safer I am), and remove myself from the situation ASAP.

With either type of guy, I do make sure to leave the store/area in such a way that I'm sure nobody is following me. That's just a basic security precaution. Also, I have a license to carry and always have my Ruger concealed somewhere on my body, just in case. Of course that's not just because I cam, there are TONS of crazies out in the world today and if I happen across one I'd like to have at least a fighting chance of getting out of the situation alive.

 

[Poler_Bare]

I've thought about this and how I would react so many times and I think Gemma hit the nail on the head by saying it would be completely depending upon the approach. If someone just came up and said they were a fan I would be flattered (and would most likely blush red as a tomato and stutter my thanks) but if someone came up all creepy talking about how they know what my boobs look like and what have you, I would be crazy uncomfortable and would get the hell out of there asap.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Most of the models who I'd recognise in the street live in different countries so the chances of me bumping in to someone I know from camland is pretty slim (unless I'm in Birmingham, where if you throw a stone in a random direction, there's a 50/50 chance it'll hit a cam girl :?). I think I'd err on the side of caution though, and just not approach them. If they're on their own, I don't wanna creep them out, and if they're in a group, they might not be with people who know what they do. I don't know whether I'd tell them afterwards that I'd seen them or not (in private, obvs). If I did, that might weird them out; if I didn't, I might feel like I'm keeping something from them that they should know.

 

[Sevrin]

This topic has come up before. Some further reading for the curious.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... =12&t=9606

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... =28&t=5356

 

[ThunderWeasel]

From a member's perspective... if I ever thought I recognized a camsite model IRL, I'd just keep on walking & never mention it, for 3 reasons:

I'm too self-conscious to be approaching someone "out of the blue" like that.

I probably wouldn't be certain it was the person I thought it was

And most importantly... I don't know that person. I know an Internet-and-camsite-filtered VERSION of that person.

 

[ThunderWeasel]

Actually, 4 reasons... reason 4 being that, if you approach that person in a public place, you don't know who else might be in earshot that the model knows. That's a REALLY easy way to out them if you're not careful what you say, and it could be awkward regardless.

 

[hapa74]

I think I'd err on the side of caution though, and just not approach them. If they're on their own, I don't wanna creep them out, and if they're in a group, they might not be with people who know what they do. I don't know whether I'd tell them afterwards that I'd seen them or not (in private, obvs). If I did, that might weird them out; if I didn't, I might feel like I'm keeping something from them that they should know.

I'm once again on the same page with bob, and I'm pretty sure I know what my gut reaction would be...my heart would stop, I would panic a bit, and then turn and run away.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I conveniently seem to have a bunch of doppelgangers running around. Even before I started camming, random people would approach me and keep going on about how they know me from somewhere but don't know where, and I'd list off schools I went to, places of employment, places I'd hang out, and they didn't know me from any of those, but somewhere else that they couldn't think of, or they'd suggest somewhere I've never been.

So, that's my default response if it should happen. Depending on their approach and who I'm with, how much I stick to that will vary. If they're polite and I'm alone or with someone who knows, cool beans, yeah, nice to meet you and such. If they're rude and/or I'm with someone who doesn't know, yeah, dude, I must just look like someone you know, I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

This has happened to me a few times.

I just chat to them tbh? It's never become a massive deal.

If I lived near family that didn't know, and say was out near them or something i'd probably play a "WTF??" card though..

 

[SatanJonez]

I've mentioned before on cam and various social networking sites that if people recognize me out in the world there are two responses I would consider best.

- If I'm with my child don't even try or I will verbally assault you. It should be common sense, but when you look at celebrities and the like, people have no issues walking up and bothering them when they are clearly with their families. Do I think sex workers are on that same level? Hell no. Do I think sometimes in fans minds we can be? Yeah.

- If I'm out by myself/with J and you want to come say hello, introduce yourself (especially in a bar/restaurant setting) by all means. Any other adults there will know what I do (and if they didn't already and are new to knowing me, they will soon) and as long as you're not being creepy, overly touchy/grabby or rude I'd more than welcome anyone who knows of Frankie Fuckin' Chemical's awesomeness to say "haaaay gurl". :lol:

 

[Violet October]

I've met many of my regulars in person! Even one who came to my brothel. To me, it's awesome. I'm getting to meet a cool guy who's had fun supporting me in my job. To be fair, I met my husband online and many of my closest friends. So I react normal. Bt, to be fair, this has all happened in situations where I was already out at Violet. Not in a situation where my personal identity was even remotely at risk.


But, if someone sees me in real life, all of my friends know what my work name is, so I wouldn't be so worried.

 

[Elsalil_Stiller]

I suffer from Bitchy Resting Face, so I doubt anyone would even try to say hello.

But in seriousness, I expect to run into them at some point. I know a lot of my regulars are from my home state, and I travel a lot, so it's always a possibility. I've been in various forms of entertainment for a long time, and I'm used to people coming up and saying "Hey, aren't you...?"

I'm usually alone when I'm out and about. If I were with anyone else, it's quite likely they would already know what I do. I wouldn't be worried to reveal my secret life or anything, as I keep few secrets. However, were anyone to get pawsy, well, this is why my daddy taught me to wrestle and carry knives.

 

[Jupiter551]

Probably I'd just sign an autograph, take any photos that were requested and just hope they'd be cool.

 

[fandango]

If I saw someone in real life I'd go into perv zombie mode and just start walking behind them with my tongue flopping out my mouth and drool going all over the floor.

In all seriousness I'd probably giggle like a naughty schoolchild, avoid all eye contact and run away.

 

[CharlieCharma]

This wasn't a fan from online, but a guy who used to come into the strip club I worked at and tip me regularly. I went to a buffet for my grandpa's birthday. I was with my entire family. He said hi when I first walked in and I was polite then. He worked there, so it looked natural enough anyways. He then hovered around the table for much too long. He kept trying to start conversations and ask when I was working next. It made me really uncomfortable. I ended up leaving early because of him. I didn't want to risk my grandpa, who's pushing 80, finding out what I do for a living.

So hey, if he had been normal I would of been nice, but he wasn't.

 

[DuoShi]

I'd wave or head-nod. Then, I'd hope you'd get it. Since most of the models I like are here and have seen me, I'd hope they'd know it was me, and we could laugh about it on cam next time I'm around.

Edit: Just realized I answered that from a member perspective. From a model perspective, I'd run away.

 

[LioraVox]

If a member sees me out, this is what they have to do :

Walk up/ yell "hey Liora" while walking towards me. Make direct eye contact/ touch me lightly on the shoulder. Expect a crazy "the fuq" look or an awkward/nervous smile. Basically pretend that I'm famous. Not Beyoncé famous but famous enough. Ask me for a picture. I'll mostly likely say "uh sure". *snap snap*. I'll whisper for you to send that to me via Twitter or something. We can have small talk, then we will hug, or bro fist and be on our seperate ways.

If I'm with someone that doesn't know I cam, I will just pretend that I have no idea who Liora is and was just trolling the person because they were super convinced that I'm a famous person.

If you see me and you do everything I said to do but I turn around and give you a look that rips into your chest and through to your soul. Abort, abort everything at all cost and just say "sorry wrong person."

 

[TacoBelle]

Edit: Just realized I answered that from a member perspective. From a model perspective, I'd run away.

You heard it here first, people; Duo is a model! I KNEW IT!

 

[Ambers Troll]

I would never approach a model without invitation to. I would give the whole wink, wave, headnod, acknowledgement salute thing.... big smile and a bit of creepy staring :shock: , couldn't be helped.
Next time on cam would tell her I noticed her, the whens and wheres. Perhaps a message when I got home, might throw off her cam day otherwise.

Let's assume it was safe to meet a fan (say with S.O., or someone who knows you're a model), someone you recognised as a regular, would you then approach, give invitation for them to approach?
What would you expect of their behaviour?

 

[Gen]

Let's assume it was safe to meet a fan (say with S.O., or someone who knows you're a model), someone you recognised as a regular, would you then approach, give invitation for them to approach?
What would you expect of their behaviour?

I don't think I'd approach them, for the same reasons a model wouldn't want to be approached (what if they were with friends, are shy, don't want to mix internet with real life, etc).
If I recognized them and wanted to talk I'd probably smile and wink/wave. That way if they wanted to ignore me they could (and I'd get why!), or they would hopefully know I was inviting them to come say hi. And if they were simply a stranger I mistook for a reg, maybe the smile-and-wink would make me a new friend :lol:

 

[JimsX]

If I saw a model on the street I would pause, make eye contact, wait for her to complete her risk assessment, and if she did not shoot me or running away screaming, I would go over to say hello just as I would when bumping into a friend.

 

[Ambers Troll]

If I saw a model on the street I would pause, make eye contact, wait for her to complete her risk assessment, and if she did not shoot me or running away screaming, I would go over to say hello just as I would when bumping into a friend.

If she were to run away screaming, it'd be so tempting to shout something like, "hey! ...love your work". If you are going to scare her may as well embarrass her too.
If she were to try to shoot you, as you are running away, perhaps "you make me trigger happy too". If she is going to kill you, may as well leave her with a smile on her face.

Going to greet her as in bumping into a friend, could have her running or shooting you for acting like a stalker. I would go with the business like greeting, polite, calm, nervous, and step by step. But guess it depends on the model.
I guess if she did the risk assessment it probably doesn't matter too much. Go the bear hug.

 

[ramblin]

In a "safe" space (adult convention, strip club / burlesque show where the model is performing, etc) I'd certainty introduce myself as a fan. Outside of that, I guess I'd probably mind my own business. If conventions of the situation required it, I'd introduce myself as the real me and look for a private chance to mention that I knew their work or shoot the model a note to let them know that I was me.

I've frequented my local strip clubs and haven't yet had this sort of awkward encounter with performers that are presumably local, but of course in that case they might well recognize me and make the first move (in whatever direction felt right for them). A few big hugs / hellos, but usually in the vicinity of the club.

I really like Liora's idea, but I wouldn't presume that that worked for everyone.

 

[LioraVox]

I honestly don't like strangers walking up to me and trying to start a convo. I immediately put a guard up, because I can never wrap my head around why someone needs to talk to me while I'm minding my business. The point of saying "hi Liora" or whatever will let me know that you know me and aren't a stranger. Well you kinda are technically but idk it's a better ice breaker then walking up to me and saying "hi" randomly. If someone is like "hey!!! I know you" I'll happily engage them to find out where, if they're just yelling "hey" in my direction I will do my best to ignore them, because in my mind they obviously aren't talking to me.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I've frequented my local strip clubs and haven't yet had this sort of awkward encounter with performers that are presumably local, but of course in that case they might well recognize me and make the first move (in whatever direction felt right for them). A few big hugs / hellos, but usually in the vicinity of the club.

Strippers are most definitely not like regular models, they are comfortable with creepy and strange men approaching them. It is part of their job, and usually they actually like men (even the unusual ones), they are confident and comfortable with men. Models from this background tend to be the same.

They are actually the same at all times usually, had the strangest experiences with strippers, including one chance meeting for a few hours on a bus from uni once.

So hey, if he had been normal I would of been nice, but he wasn't.

Model from a stripper background, unafraid. SF, correct me if I am wrong? Meeting you wasn't the issue, not noticing that you couldn't and showing some discretion was?

 

[TacoBelle]

I would never approach a model without invitation to. I would give the whole wink, wave, headnod, acknowledgement salute thing.... big smile and a bit of creepy staring :shock: , couldn't be helped.
Next time on cam would tell her I noticed her, the whens and wheres. Perhaps a message when I got home, might throw off her cam day otherwise.

I just wanted to remind all members/models/anyone reading this that if you DO see a model IRL and DO want to tell her, please, please, PLEASE do not do it in public chat. Or on Twitter. Or on her profile wall. Do it in a private message. Because the chances are extremely likely that she lives in/near that town or visits often, and she probably doesn't want anyone else to know.

 

[KayleePond]

I would never approach a model without invitation to. I would give the whole wink, wave, headnod, acknowledgement salute thing.... big smile and a bit of creepy staring :shock: , couldn't be helped.
Next time on cam would tell her I noticed her, the whens and wheres. Perhaps a message when I got home, might throw off her cam day otherwise.

I just wanted to remind all members/models/anyone reading this that if you DO see a model IRL and DO want to tell her, please, please, PLEASE do not do it in public chat. Or on Twitter. Or on her profile wall. Do it in a private message. Because the chances are extremely likely that she lives in/near that town or visits often, and she probably doesn't want anyone else to know.

Agreed!

I would actually also say, in my opinion, it would be best done when she's offline as well! Telling someone shocking like that while they are on camera would be pretty upsetting for a model. It is certainly part of our jobs to try to control our faces and emotions when something like that happens, but if you like her and want to be nice to her, you wont give her that news while she's performing. It would be highly likely that she'd feel upset and weird the rest of the show. She might cover it pretty well but still be off her game or she might just have to log off because she's upset.

For many people this might indicate a pretty huge security breach and would mean a lot of things for them that are unlikely to apply to you. I know that my mind would be racing. I've had members who seemed to like to drop big (negative) news right before I logged on, and it always SUCKS when that happens. An MFC mail sent right after she logs off or in her down time is probably best if you're really dead set on letting her know, just so that she has time to process it without a camera in her face. :thumbleft:

 

[CharlieCharma]

I've frequented my local strip clubs and haven't yet had this sort of awkward encounter with performers that are presumably local, but of course in that case they might well recognize me and make the first move (in whatever direction felt right for them). A few big hugs / hellos, but usually in the vicinity of the club.

Strippers are most definitely not like regular models, they are comfortable with creepy and strange men approaching them. It is part of their job, and usually they actually like men (even the unusual ones), they are confident and comfortable with men. Models from this background tend to be the same.

They are actually the same at all times usually, had the strangest experiences with strippers, including one chance meeting for a few hours on a bus from uni once.

So hey, if he had been normal I would of been nice, but he wasn't.

Model from a stripper background, unafraid. SF, correct me if I am wrong? Meeting you wasn't the issue, not noticing that you couldn't and showing some discretion was?

I don't appreciate people approaching me at all. I mean, I'm alright with it, but I don't like it. I like men, but if I'm not at work I don't want to talk about how I look in a thong or when I'll be working since the chances are I'm with my family or friends. To give some context, if I saw my hairdresser or dentist out and about I'd say hi, but I wouldn't try to have a full conversation. That's exactly how I expect to be treated if someone wants receive common courtesy from me.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I just wanted to remind all members/models/anyone reading this that if you DO see a model IRL and DO want to tell her, please, please, PLEASE do not do it in public chat. Or on Twitter. Or on her profile wall. Do it in a private message. Because the chances are extremely likely that she lives in/near that town or visits often, and she probably doesn't want anyone else to know.

Agreed!

I would actually also say, in my opinion, it would be best done when she's offline as well! Telling someone shocking like that while they are on camera would be pretty upsetting for a model. It is certainly part of our jobs to try to control our faces and emotions when something like that happens, but if you like her and want to be nice to her, you wont give her that news while she's performing. It would be highly likely that she'd feel upset and weird the rest of the show. She might cover it pretty well but still be off her game or she might just have to log off because she's upset.

For many people this might indicate a pretty huge security breach and would mean a lot of things for them that are unlikely to apply to you. I know that my mind would be racing. I've had members who seemed to like to drop big (negative) news right before I logged on, and it always SUCKS when that happens. An MFC mail sent right after she logs off or in her down time is probably best if you're really dead set on letting her know, just so that she has time to process it without a camera in her face. :thumbleft:

As a member I would feel obliged to tell her. The same goes for discovering other details beyond what a model shares, the model may need to know such details (eg. Recieving a receipt with a models name and address on it, or that there is high chances of seeing her often as you live local to where you saw her).

Would feel too creepy to do it after watching her on cam, so for me best is when offline, and always before next seeing her on cam. With such things consent to visit next time should be a consideration.
I suspect the model would feel weird with the member in her room next time anyway. As that member you need to assure the model that she can trust you with whatever her concerns are, and for both of you to get back to camming.