Is It Possible to Be a "Nice" Dominatrix?

[IntravenousFlytrap]

Or a "Sweet" Dominatrix?

I've recently became interested in findom and this question popped into my head one day. Surely it's possible to be nice to your subs and not insult them while still enticing them to give you money, no? I know a big part of the fetish is that these men LIKE being put down, though, for the most part. Being called names, being condescended, etc.

How would you even go about being a "sweet" domme? Just act like a cutesy entitled princess that demands money (doesn't ask for it, since it's expected of the sub to cater to demands and not requests in findomland)?

Do you know of any dommes that tend to be a tad more gentle than others? Even in just regular old femdom, not just findom.

 

[BiancaBaker]

I do mostly sensual domination. I wouldn't consider myself sweet per say but I am not always crazy mean. Yes I do humiliation and love it but my main things I do are sensual. The part of being bratty would be up to you; I don't play a brat but I know plenty of successful ladies who do. I can't be anybody but myself so I just play a version of me.

 

[Keziah]

I agree with Bianca. You don't have to be crazy mean. Experiment with what you feel comfortable with. I switch from mean and brutal humiliation to more sensual/GFE style clips, so don't feel like you always have to be a certain way. If you need more femdom resources, you can check out http://dommesource.com

 

[Emberblaze]

I literally just came here to suggest Dommesource as well.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Hi, I'm a sensual domme aka "nice domme"

I can do the sadistic spiel if I want, but it doesn't get me going as much as caretaking, nice types of domination. For myself it's more of an iron fist in a velvet glove technique rather than humiliation, wallet raping, and ballbusting.

Princess is a touch more sadistic and basically the dominant version of the submissive "brat"

Personally I prefer to be a brat tamer than a princess. Again I can and have done both, but brat tamer is a version that doesn't have to be mean... though it does require lots of finesse (in this role online you basically have to put trolls in their place lol).

You've I'm sure heard of Daddy Doms, in the exact same way there are Mommy Dommes as well (though I'd be careful with that term on camsites due to incest rules.) Goddess is a good title to use. Can be nice or sadistic.

You don't have to be cutesy or whatever. You can be however you want.

I find it often helps to add a sensual flare with tease and denial for instance rather than merely berating them with degradation.

Another thing that might help is making yourself realize that the "mean thing" they want from you isn't actually really mean if they want it.

Also yes. Dommesource tis a good site. ^.^

 

[Violet Dawn]

I think so. I think it mostly consists of slight humiliation and telling men to do stuff. Like, forcing them to clean and stuff.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I felt I should elaborate a bit more as to what a sensual domme is more known to do. Like Rose said, there are no rules. You can flip back and forth with different types of domme depending on your mood for that day, and later get settled with your favorite way of camming/clip making. These are the things I tend to get asked for according to my notes. Hopefully this list can help you get figure out what you enjoy.

Challenges/assignments
Clothed female nude male (aka CFNM)-he has to get off/do some sort of assignment naked
Clothed male nude female (CFNM)- He worships the domme's nude body, but is unable to jerk
Cum countdowns
Cum eating instruction
Smothering
Edging
Bisexual encouragement
Age regression/mommy domme-most camsites won't allow it, but clip sites are ok with it
Taboo-same as above, depends on cam site rules
Impregnation fantasy with an alpha
Love addiction
Jerk off instruction and masturbation encouragement
MILF
Mental domination and mesmirize
Slave, pet, and sissy training
Gentle giantess (basically giantess girl friend experience)
Godess worship
Roleplay
Tease & denial or even full on strip tease with body worship if you want.
Strap-on play
Body worship
Masturbation can involve roleplay of with alphas (alpha can be the guy watching), body worship masturbation
Fetish clothing-doesn't have to be leather and chains. Can be litterally anything you own. Panty worship, worshiping your ass through yoga pants, you name it.

Most of the time anything sadistic I do will generally have a flirty sounding side to it. For instance I might give SPH by saying how I can't tittyfuck the guy, due to him being so small he'll get lost in my breasts. I may use my pinky between them as an example. If I do anything to inflict pain, I tend to do something pleasurful in between...get the cock hard, then torment the sub with anything from say spanks to cock and ball torture.

 

[Ambers Troll]

 

[Rose]

So I'm not a sweet domme at all, but I had the privilege of working with Jalisa Elite a couple years ago and she's quite a successful sensual domme. She doesn't do any mean humiliation for her submissives (not counting dumbshits on social media) and it works well for her. Her femdom videos lean more towards sensual financial domination and tit worship, so it's definitely doable.

I actually was submissive for her for a few videos and, have to say, it was awesome. She definitely knows what's up and is really really good at what she does.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

So I'm not a sweet domme at all, but I had the privilege of working with Jalisa Elite a couple years ago and she's quite a successful sensual domme. She doesn't do any mean humiliation for her submissives (not counting dumbshits on social media) and it works well for her. Her femdom videos lean more towards sensual financial domination and tit worship, so it's definitely doable.

I actually was submissive for her for a few videos and, have to say, it was awesome. She definitely knows what's up and is really really good at what she does.

I'm glad you brought her up. I never noticed her financial domination videos before. I've always had trouble with that category due to not feeling it related enough to my personality (I'm weird. My brain's reward center doesn't recognize money as a stimulous. Total fail as domme camgirl lol), but I really like her angle with them with it seeming rather half mesmirize, half findom.

 

[Rose]

I'm glad you brought her up. I never noticed her financial domination videos before. I've always had trouble with that category due to not feeling it related enough to my personality (I'm weird. My brain's reward center doesn't recognize money as a stimulous. Total fail as domme camgirl lol), but I really like her angle with them with it seeming rather half mesmirize, half findom.

She's definitely really good at it! Having been physically submissive to her firsthand, she's very very good at what she does. Definitely knows the consequences and benefits of domination and knows how to guide her subs how she wants them to create the best experience possible and you can absolutely see it on camera.

 

[ExcellaExe]

I felt I should elaborate a bit more as to what a sensual domme is more known to do. Like Rose said, there are no rules. You can flip back and forth with different types of domme depending on your mood for that day, and later get settled with your favorite way of camming/clip making. These are the things I tend to get asked for according to my notes. Hopefully this list can help you get figure out what you enjoy.

Challenges/assignments
Clothed female nude male (aka CFNM)-he has to get off/do some sort of assignment naked
Clothed male nude female (CFNM)- He worships the domme's nude body, but is unable to jerk
Cum countdowns
Cum eating instruction
Smothering
Edging
Bisexual encouragement
Age regression/mommy domme-most camsites won't allow it, but clip sites are ok with it
Taboo-same as above, depends on cam site rules
Impregnation fantasy with an alpha
Love addiction
Jerk off instruction and masturbation encouragement
MILF
Mental domination and mesmirize
Slave, pet, and sissy training
Gentle giantess (basically giantess girl friend experience)
Goddess worship
Roleplay
Tease & denial or even full on strip tease with body worship if you want.
Strap-on play
Body worship
Masturbation can involve roleplay of with alphas (alpha can be the guy watching), body worship masturbation
Fetish clothing-doesn't have to be leather and chains. Can be litterally anything you own. Panty worship, worshiping your ass through yoga pants, you name it.

Most of the time anything sadistic I do will generally have a flirty sounding side to it. For instance I might give SPH by saying how I can't tittyfuck the guy, due to him being so small he'll get lost in my breasts. I may use my pinky between them as an example. If I do anything to inflict pain, I tend to do something pleasurful in between...get the cock hard, then torment the sub with anything from say spanks to cock and ball torture.

This is such a good list! I'm totally going to save it for some clip ideas Some other ones could be Mesmerize/mind fuck, which are more clip related and are very difficult (in my experience) to do in a cam environment, but in clips is so rewarding. For those, poke around at the categories on clip stores and get a feel for them. If you have any questions, OP, feel free to ask! There's also Milking if you're good with C2C, in which you encourage them to masturbate in a certain pose, and keep going until you tell them to stop, and you can be either cruel or nice with it.

It's totally possible to be a nice Domme! I lean towards the dominant no matter what I do, but I tend to not actually be mean in my lifestyle relationships as opposed to online. I'm totally like Anne in IRL Domme/sub relationships (I'm also technically a switch but trend towards Dominant, and only switch for a handful of Doms). I eased into femdom with Goddess and Body worship, as a lot of vanilla guys will really get into body worship because they get to see you naked if you let them

 

[Ann_Sulu]

a lot of vanilla guys will really get into body worship because they get to see you naked if you let them

Hell, a lot of dom guys will get onboard for that as well as jerk off instruction!

 

[RamonaFlow3rz]

Thank you, was curious myself as I started an account on Chaturbate "insulting" men fully clothed. I will look into all suggested links.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

A clip description that sums up my style of domination, "The cliche is that men who buy clips like this are virgin losers hanging out in their basement but that doesn't apply to you does it? you are here because you are a powerful man and you hate it. you need relief from the demanding job, the big family. you need relief from playing a dominant role that doesn't suit you. you need Me. A powerful woman to overpower you, to control you, to own you."

It's the motive to me, that makes someone a nice Domme. I truly want to help these men. I got an email recently saying how I had helped this man get back in touch with his sexuality, that I have become his safe place and how thankful he is for me. I LOVE THAT SHIT. That is what I want to give to people. I do make harsh videos occasionally just because even my kind of subs have days where they are in the mood for something else but I make it very clear in the description that it has some humiliation or mean tones in it.

Basically, not all subs are losers or want to be losers so in absolutely no way do you have to treat them as such. Treat them as if they are weak, as if they need your help, that they fall to their knees at just the sight of you, NOT because they are pathetic but because YOU are so fucking magical and magnificent.

Good luck! Being nice in the Domme world is a niche within a niche and some people will give you shit for it but I promise lots of boys, including some with thick wallets are going to be eternally grateful and loyal to you.

 

[Guy]

So I'm not a sweet domme at all, but I had the privilege of working with Jalisa Elite a couple years ago and she's quite a successful sensual domme. She doesn't do any mean humiliation for her submissives (not counting dumbshits on social media) and it works well for her. Her femdom videos lean more towards sensual financial domination and tit worship, so it's definitely doable.

I actually was submissive for her for a few videos and, have to say, it was awesome. She definitely knows what's up and is really really good at what she does.

What exactly is "tit worship"?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

What exactly is "tit worship"?

All parts of the body can be worshipped. It's basically having a thing for tits but on a more dom/sub level. The dom knows the sub is into them and uses them as a means of the sub to worship her.

 

[Guy]

All parts of the body can be worshipped. It's basically having a thing for tits but on a more dom/sub level. The dom knows the sub is into them and uses them as a means of the sub to worship her.

What role does worshipping someone play in bdsm? I thought that bdsm was about hardcore stuff like whipping and bondage.

 

[BiancaBaker]

What role does worshipping someone play in bdsm? I thought that bdsm was about hardcore stuff like whipping and bondage.

no it isn't and this is the misconception with BDSM.

 

[CharlieCharma]

Hell, a lot of dom guys will get onboard for that as well as jerk off instruction!

My switch SO with dom tendencies loves worship even past the JOI. He loves the "being so obsessed with her you have to worship her" aspect. I think it makes sense. Goes with the "so obsessed I have to have her under my spell" kind of dom.

 

[Kiki Jane]

What role does worshipping someone play in bdsm? I thought that bdsm was about hardcore stuff like whipping and bondage.

There's an aspect of BDSM, especially femdom, in which the Dominant person may be like a God or a Goddess (usually Goddess), and the submissive person only gets to worship them--- if they're lucky. So, instead of a porno video/cam session being like, "look at my big tits, don't they make you want to fuck me and stick your cock deep in my wet pussy?" it's more like, "you're so weak for My perfect breasts, you would do anything to touch them for even one second, but alas, that shall never be"... Or, the submissive may be "allowed" to lick them or whatever, as long as it pleases the capricious Mistress for whatever length of time She deems fit (and she may express disdain for him the whole time). Scenerios like this often involve the Dominant Woman controlling if, when, or how the male submissive can touch himself, and a general sense of him being not worthy to be in the very presence of the body part or entire Goddess being worshipped.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

My switch SO with dom tendencies loves worship even past the JOI. He loves the "being so obsessed with her you have to worship her" aspect. I think it makes sense. Goes with the "so obsessed I have to have her under my spell" kind of dom.

There's an aspect of BDSM, especially femdom, in which the Dominant person may be like a God or a Goddess (usually Goddess), and the submissive person only gets to worship them--- if they're lucky. So, instead of a porno video/cam session being like, "look at my big tits, don't they make you want to fuck me and stick your cock deep in my wet pussy?" it's more like, "you're so weak for My perfect breasts, you would do anything to touch them for even one second, but alas, that shall never be"... Or, the submissive may be "allowed" to lick them or whatever, as long as it pleases the capricious Mistress for whatever length of time She deems fit (and she may express disdain for him the whole time). Scenerios like this often involve the Dominant Woman controlling if, when, or how the male submissive can touch himself, and a general sense of him being not worthy to be in the very presence of the body part or entire Goddess being worshipped.

@Guy

This is about 90% of what I am asked for on cam as a sensual domme. Though I can crack a whip on cam and do some bondage, it's a bit difficult to really get into it when not in person. Even then though BDSM is more about getting a person in a particular headspace than random acts. That's why body worship and JOI work so well. It makes the member focus on and feel part of what they're into verses watching a domme do random things. BDSM means Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.

The bondage and sadism/masochism aspects, when used, are more or less like trust-building exercises. The sub is saying the dominant is able to give pain/restraint/sensory play. Some people derive pleasure from pain. Some want the pain as a form of edging to make them have more pleasurable orgasms. Edging doesn't require pain, but that is what it can be used for.

Body worship, mesmerizing, edging and JOI (as Kiki explained) are merely lighter forms of bondage (through focus) and discipline where the sub is to do as told.

 

[Ambers Troll]

My opinion, being a sweet Dom is possible and feels wonderful. Maintaining your dominance and not slipping into some form of manipulation may be challenge for anyone prone to 'inducement.' (this is entitled princess, use this with caution on the Sub, expect a resistant response... you will need to be meaner) ... everyone in the end must remain themselves, no major changing of either person in the interaction.
'Learning of submission is pleasant, learning of compliance is unpleasant' (Marston) ... being nice as a Dom is usually reserved for those who easily submit. Too much resistance to the Dom will always result in a less pleasant response, but a more intense response when compliance occurs. Submission to the Dom feels very much more loving, than challenging; you just want to enjoy the Sub and give him or her all the pleasure they deserve.
If you get a partner comfortable with submission, you can be a nice Dom. Any resistance and you must switch in that moment, alternatively stop, wait for submission before moving on. I usually walk out, politely take a moment and leave the Sub to think about what is holding them back. I can then think about what they really need to continue; return when ready to be nice rather than aggressive.

 

[Big Shot Scott]

Becky and I just had a conversation about this the other day after she had a discussion with a member who liked the idea of being dominated, but didn’t like the idea of being called a “Pay-pig.” The kink lifestyle is not cookie cutter, and there are all kinds of Doms (Dommes) and submissives. A lot of time it just takes figuring out what the subs and Dom need.

 

[MojitosJourney]

Hi, I’m a switch - I like to be submissive in my videos. On my webcam, I submit to only a very few select people online who Dom me in a way I like. On cam I enjoy dominating a wide variety of people.

When I domme, I try to come off like the character Regina George in the movie “mean girls.” Basically a popular high school hot bitchy cheerleader stereotype. I really enjoy this and it doesn’t seem like much of a stretch, just a fun alter-ego.

The few doms I have liked and allowed to dominate me are nice types who never actually tell me what to do... they observe me and figure out what turns me on and then they exploit that, haha. They use my intense arousal to the things they are doing and saying to let me consent to giving my power to them. I think that is what makes a true Dom, a good domme. They seduce consent out of you. They actually give a fuck about you and what turns you on, while still being powerful and in control. I try to channel that as a domme myself.