How to accommodate work and private life?

[ArizonaDream]

Then what does bother you ??

Marceline perfectly quoted the points I was concerned about 2 posts below yours

But what bothers you is if camsite members send her messages when she’s not online and sends her “just because” tips when she’s offline, right?

It’s understandable to be worried about her possibly revealing personal information by accepting payment through means that would show that info, but those other things, that goes with the territory of being a cam model. Not everyone talks to members when they’re offline, but it is a part of a lot of cam models hustle. The goal is to make money, like with any job. If chatting with people outside her “normal” working hours makes her more money, even if it’s just people tipping because they want to tip with no expectations for anything in return, then you should see it for what it is, part of the job. It’s already been said here, there’s a ton of work that goes into camming even when you’re not streaming.

Considering that the two of you met through a camsite, it sounds a lot like you’re insecure and worried that she may end up liking or wanting to be with one of the people who sends her those tips or messages her when she’s not camming. That’s what I’ve taken from this whole thread, anyway. But, that’s where trust comes into play. You have to trust the person that you are with. If you think they’re going to leave you or be “controlled by offline tips” like you mentioned earlier in this thread, your relationship is more than likely going to fail.

Have a conversation with her instead of complaining about it here. Or if you want to be completely upfront with her, go ahead and show her this thread.

You got it right but I understood through the different posts that it's a normal practice and it's precisely what I wanted to know

Well we all know that camgirls are playing with the ambiguity of the relations they have with their viewers. Most are trying to make them fall in love to get more money. It may look scary from the outside but I totally trust my girlfriend about that.

 

[jillianna]

Marry me, Jillianna? Between your enterprises and my classes, part time job and art, we would have a blast whenever we get time to see each other!

Lol. Both busy AF but supportive!

 

[ArizonaDream]

Dude, it is definitely tiring. But sometimes that's kind of just the nature of the business when you're in the job of "people pleasing" to make your income.

*also 24/7 is an exaggeration, because clearly there is sleep. But I think you should be prepared that there may be many days where your love interest may be answering DMs on Onlyfans, or sending a video that was requested to a tipper on her cam site, for example.

I've been at this for nearly 13 years. The only times I completely ignore notifications on my phone for work stuff might be only when I'm in a movie theater, or at a planned event/dinner. And of course while sleeping, but sometimes I wakeup at 3am and look at my phone and decide to respond at that point. These are things you may need to accept are reality of your love interest's life.

Of course. I'm aware of what I may go through. Without wanting to be indiscreet, are you yourself in a relationship? I'm just wondering if work practices change based on relationship status

 

[Marceline]

Well we all know that camgirls are playing with the ambiguity of the relations they have with their viewers. Most are trying to make them fall in love to get more money.

This is not true at all. Sure, there’s cam models who do the love cons, and you see it more with studio models (because from my understanding, there’s studios that actually teach their models to do this). However, there’s tons of models who are very straight up about how they will not date members and have strict boundaries when it comes to that sort of stuff.

 

[ArizonaDream]

This is not true at all. Sure, there’s cam models who do the love cons, and you see it more with studio models (because from my understanding, there’s studios that actually teach their models to do this). However, there’s tons of models who are very straight up about how they will not date members and have strict boundaries when it comes to that sort of stuff.

This is quite concerning then cause she's part of a studio and I assume they are requesting models to do the love trick. I thought it was a regular practice with freelancers as well. Do I have a reason to be worry? I would not want to discover that she has to do things she doesn't want to that could possibly alter our relationship.

I assume interactions only remains virtual but I'm wondering now if it could go further than with camgirls who are not doing the love trick.

 

[Ozzie_]

This is quite concerning then cause she's part of a studio and I assume they are requesting models to do the love trick. I thought it was a regular practice with freelancers as well. Do I have a reason to be worry? I would not want to discover that she has to do things she doesn't want to that could possibly alter our relationship.

I assume interactions only remains virtual but I'm wondering now if it could go further than with camgirls who are not doing the love trick.

Mate, I am sympathetic to all of your fears (even the ones that others have criticised) but I really think that now you need to get away from the keyboard and talk this all through with your girlfriend. All of the questions you have asked of the models in this thread who have spoken to you..... ask those questions of your girlfriend.

All relationships need open, honest, non-judgemental communication to thrive.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Lol. Both busy AF but supportive!

And winding down with mocha coffee!

 

[AmberCutie]

Of course. I'm aware of what I may go through. Without wanting to be indiscreet, are you yourself in a relationship? I'm just wondering if work practices change based on relationship status

I was married years before I started this job. He's been my biggest cheerleader.

 

[ArizonaDream]

I was married years before I started this job. He's been my biggest cheerleader.

Oh great! Glad to hear about that sucess love story

Mate, I am sympathetic to all of your fears (even the ones that others have criticised) but I really think that now you need to get away from the keyboard and talk this all through with your girlfriend. All of the questions you have asked of the models in this thread who have spoken to you..... ask those questions of your girlfriend.

All relationships need open, honest, non-judgemental communication to thrive.

Yeah you're right. I have already discussed some of the points with her but I will go deeper in that conversation. I just wanted to have the forum's point of view.

Thanks to the members for all their advices.

 

[AudriTwo]

This is quite concerning then cause she's part of a studio and I assume they are requesting models to do the love trick. I thought it was a regular practice with freelancers as well. Do I have a reason to be worry? I would not want to discover that she has to do things she doesn't want to that could possibly alter our relationship.

I assume interactions only remains virtual but I'm wondering now if it could go further than with camgirls who are not doing the love trick.

i thought you guys already met... why would you have to worry? recommend reading this lovely collection of "in love with cammodel" threads to see if your situation is any similar to the poor dudes getting hustled into a lovecon.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

 

[ArcticKitty]

This is quite concerning then cause she's part of a studio and I assume they are requesting models to do the love trick. I thought it was a regular practice with freelancers as well. Do I have a reason to be worry? I would not want to discover that she has to do things she doesn't want to that could possibly alter our relationship.

I assume interactions only remains virtual but I'm wondering now if it could go further than with camgirls who are not doing the love trick.

For what it's worth, if she didn't love con you then she doesn't love con.

And most models Hate love conning because it is unethical and gives all modeling a bad image. It's difficult enough when guys have feelings for a model beyond fun and friendly without her encouraging them. And some guys are seriously creepy and delusional. Stalkers are no joke.

 

[ArizonaDream]

i thought you guys already met... why would you have to worry? recommend reading this lovely collection of "in love with cammodel" threads to see if your situation is any similar to the poor dudes getting hustled into a lovecon.

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

I was not worry about us but about where the situation would lead if she's forced by the studio to do the lovecon.

I will take at look at the threads but our love is 100% genuine I have absolutely no doubt about it. We have met and we have projects.

 

[ArizonaDream]

For what it's worth, if she didn't love con you then she doesn't love con.

And most models Hate love conning because it is unethical and gives all modeling a bad image. It's difficult enough when guys have feelings for a model beyond fun and friendly without her encouraging them. And some guys are seriously creepy and delusional. Stalkers are no joke.

Nope she didn't lovecon me and yeah I don't like this practice either. As you said, it's unethical and could lead to awkward situations.

 

[ArizonaDream]

Hello. I'm back to give you some news . After a few months without seeing each other, I was supposed to come back to her country in the next weeks to be able to spend time with her. This was planned since my last visit and was confirmed by the fact she was disappointed with her results on cam but a few tippers came to her room recently and now she wants to change all our plans.

She asked me to come at the end of the year instead which is far too long away for me. She says she would not be able to see me if I come earlier since she would work all the time but in a long distance relationship situation, I hardly can accept the fact that she would prefer to postpone my visit and spend time with her regulars instead of seeing me sooner as, it was expected.

What do you think about it ?

 

[ArcticKitty]

Honey, I think you may want to cut your losses.

 

[ArizonaDream]

Honey, I think you may want to cut your losses.

So you too you think that she should still favor our relationship over her work even if she started recently and wants to grow her business? I'm willing to be understanding and give her time for her business, but not if it results in a loss.

 

[SMuser69]

What makes you think about it? She didn't ask me to cancel but to postpone our next meeting.

because you wrote this;

I hardly can accept the fact that she would prefer to postpone my visit and spend time with her regulars instead of seeing me sooner as, it was expected.

Either you write things you don't mean or you're lying to yourself. Pick one.

 

[ArizonaDream]

because you wrote this;


Either you write things you don't mean or you're lying to yourself. Pick one.

I have to admit that my English is not that good haha. Is there a problem with the translation? She would like to postpone our next meeting, yeah, as I said, which I'm not happy about.

 

[AmberCutie]

I have to admit that my English is not that good haha. Is there a problem with the translation? She would like to postpone our next meeting, yeah, as I said, which I'm not happy about.

"I can hardly accept" is the problem part. Those words mean you're very upset about her postponing the trip.

 

[ArizonaDream]

"I can hardly accept" is the problem part. Those words mean you're very upset about her postponing the trip.

Thanks for those details. Yes I'm a bit upset cause I don't like last minutes change of plans. Of course I'm willing to be understanding cause I want her to succeed but there is a big difference between meeting her now or at the end of the year. 6-8 months without seeing each other is an eternity in a relationship.

Plus I don't see why coming for 2 or 3 weeks this summer would be a problem for her. I guess she probably doesn't want to lose her regulars during her absence. She's working for a studio and I don't know if she has some obligations.

Do you think it is a justified reaction from her part?

 

[ArcticKitty]

This is painful.

 

[Marceline]

Hello. I'm back to give you some news . After a few months without seeing each other, I was supposed to come back to her country in the next weeks to be able to spend time with her. This was planned since my last visit and was confirmed by the fact she was disappointed with her results on cam but a few tippers came to her room recently and now she wants to change all our plans.

She asked me to come at the end of the year instead which is far too long away for me. She says she would not be able to see me if I come earlier since she would work all the time but in a long distance relationship situation, I hardly can accept the fact that she would prefer to postpone my visit and spend time with her regulars instead of seeing me sooner as, it was expected.

What do you think about it ?

If she wants to postpone your trip, then that’s something you will have to accept. You can either wait or end the relationship.

Her not wanting you to visit is justifiable whether it’s because she wants to work or even if she just doesn’t want to see you. I can understand how that can suck when you’ve been looking forward to the visit, but again, it’s something you are going to have to accept.

Usually if you’re in a long distance relationship and then you get to visit your partner, you’re going to want to spend as much time with them as possible. If she goes to work, then she may feel guilty about just leaving you alone for hours on end at a hotel or her house or wherever you stay. If she doesn’t go to work, then she may feel guilty for not working, which could lead to arguments and also her losing her new following, which could then also lead to resentment.

 

[AudriTwo]

Hello. I'm back to give you some news . After a few months without seeing each other, I was supposed to come back to her country in the next weeks to be able to spend time with her. This was planned since my last visit and was confirmed by the fact she was disappointed with her results on cam but a few tippers came to her room recently and now she wants to change all our plans.

She asked me to come at the end of the year instead which is far too long away for me. She says she would not be able to see me if I come earlier since she would work all the time but in a long distance relationship situation, I hardly can accept the fact that she would prefer to postpone my visit and spend time with her regulars instead of seeing me sooner as, it was expected.

What do you think about it ?

so you are still not treating her job like a job i see. sounds like she isn't making her goals to take time off with you and she needs to work more. i've had to cancel visitations/trips when my income was becoming unstable. this industry is super volatile. if i cannot save to take time off, then oh well. also when earnings drop, placement will more than likely drop, which will lower traffic and possibly negatively affect earnings more.

yeah, she would rather spend time with her regs than you because her job feeds her and puts a roof over her head.


(i will never understand why people choose to date cammodels and have problems with them being a cammodel. its whack.

 

[ArizonaDream]

If she wants to postpone your trip, then that’s something you will have to accept. You can either wait or end the relationship.

Her not wanting you to visit is justifiable whether it’s because she wants to work or even if she just doesn’t want to see you. I can understand how that can suck when you’ve been looking forward to the visit, but again, it’s something you are going to have to accept.

Usually if you’re in a long distance relationship and then you get to visit your partner, you’re going to want to spend as much time with them as possible. If she goes to work, then she may feel guilty about just leaving you alone for hours on end at a hotel or her house or wherever you stay. If she doesn’t go to work, then she may feel guilty for not working, which could lead to arguments and also her losing her new following, which could then also lead to resentment.

Of course I will wait if it's necessary. Or maybe that I should still come to see her as expected even if it means that we would spend less time together because of her job. And then I could come back at the end of the year when she will be less busy. I will not end this relationship at all.

But I don't understand why a short absence would result in a loss of her followers. Unless she told them that she was single as it will look suspicious if she doesn't give them any sign of life for 2 weeks...

 

[ArizonaDream]

so you are still not treating her job like a job i see. sounds like she isn't making her goals to take time off with you and she needs to work more. i've had to cancel visitations/trips when my income was becoming unstable. this industry is super volatile. if i cannot save to take time off, then oh well. also when earnings drop, placement will more than likely drop, which will lower traffic and possibly negatively affect earnings more.

yeah, she would rather spend time with her regs than you because her job feeds her and puts a roof over her head.


(i will never understand why people choose to date cammodels and have problems with them being a cammodel. its whack.

No that's the opposite. She has been doing very well recently as opposed to her debut and she could easily take a time off. I guess she just fears that she will loose her good dynamics.

 

[Marceline]

Of course I will wait if it's necessary. Or maybe that I should still come to see her as expected even if it means that we would spend less time together because of her job. And then I could come back at the end of the year when she will be less busy. I will not end this relationship at all.

But I don't understand why a short absence would result in a loss of her followers. Unless she told them that she was single as it will look suspicious if she doesn't give them any sign of life for 2 weeks...

If she’s made it clear that she wants to postpone the trip, pushing the issue may just irritate her. Respect her decision and wait until she wants you to come.

If you go visit she’s going to have to make the inevitable decision whether to work or to spend more time with you. She goes to work, she feels guilty, this can hurt her time on cam, because members pick up on negative moods. She stays with you, she risks losing her following, makes less money and this causes arguments and resentment between the two of you. Judging from what you’ve posted here, it wouldn’t surprise me if you did go and you tried getting her to not work and spend time with you.

Taking two or three weeks off from camming can absolutely kill your momentum, especially if you have new regulars. Most of those members will move on to another room in that time and find other models who they decide they want to be regulars of. Depending on the site, if she’s not making money for two or three weeks it can tank her ranking and placement and she can very easily lose the progress she has been making.

 

[AudriTwo]

No that's the opposite. She has been doing very well recently and she could easily take a time off. I guess she just fears that she will loose that good dynamic.

but you said she had fewer tippers? anywho, valid fear in this industry. people lose their momentum/popularity all the time. summertime is notoriously slow. she probably sees others in her studio struggling to make their goals, saw a decline in her hourly, and doesn't want to change her camming routine or add on to it because of summertime slowness.

 

[ArizonaDream]

If she’s made it clear that she wants to postpone the trip, pushing the issue may just irritate her. Respect her decision and wait until she wants you to come.

If you go visit she’s going to have to make the inevitable decision whether to work or to spend more time with you. She goes to work, she feels guilty, this can hurt her time on cam, because members pick up on negative moods. She stays with you, she risks losing her following, makes less money and this causes arguments and resentment between the two of you. Judging from what you’ve posted here, it wouldn’t surprise me if you did go and you tried getting her to not work and spend time with you.

Taking two or three weeks off from camming can absolutely kill your momentum, especially if you have new regulars. Most of those members will move on to another room in that time and find other models who they decide they want to be regulars of. Depending on the site, if she’s not making money for two or three weeks it can tank her ranking and placement and she can very easily lose the progress she has been making.

If I was going as expected, I wouldn't bother her during her working time. I guess we would see each other when she's offline. It would just make the wait more bearable until we fully see each other at the end of the year. But I should better see with her what she's ready to do.

Thanks for the details. I didn't expect that an absence would impact her results that much.

 

[ArizonaDream]

but you said she had fewer tippers? anywho, valid fear in this industry. people lose their momentum/popularity all the time. summertime is notoriously slow. she probably sees others in her studio struggling to make their goals, saw a decline in her hourly, and doesn't want to change her camming routine or add on to it because of summertime slowness.

She was struggling before but now it's getting better with more tippers

 

[AudriTwo]

She was struggling before but now it's getting better with more tippers

but you said...

but a few tippers came to her room recently and now she wants to change all our plans.

im starting to doubt you even have a girlfriend.