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In privates, what exactly is the chatting etiquette?

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Hey everyone!

I'm a viewer that is pretty brand-spanking new to starting any privates on chaturbate. I had a few questions on the etiquette with them:
Firstly, is it advised to give reassurance you like what you see / throw compliments? To give context, I don't like dirty talk -- it usually feels artificial to me, and honestly makes me chuckle half the time. I'm also aware that the remaining compliments I can think of would likely be cliché as hell and something the model has heard a hundred times already that day. The compliments I'd give are genuine, but surely cheesy... and they ain't gouda.

With that in mind, is it better to say the compliment anyway? Or is it better to stay more on the quiet side?
I mean, if a viewer is quiet, what does that usually make you think?

Thanks all for reading. Opinions greatly appreciated!
 

thinkinboutit

Cam Model
Aug 22, 2019
1,201
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Please communicate and let the model know what you would like to see. IF you don't like something, its ok to say so politely. Its your show, so its expected that you'd like to customize the experience.

You aren't obligated to participate in dirty talk.

If you're one of those "do whatever you like!" guys, thats fine, just be sure to give some positive feedback now and then so we know you haven't passed out on your keyboard. Personally, I like silly compliments and jokes if they're sincere.

It is SO frustrating when someone starts a show but won't communicate. Or worse, leaves partway without saying anything, so I'm left to wonder if I did something wrong.
 
I have so many words on this. I'm not a model on Chaturbate though. I love an interactive experience (not a bossy experience to be clear.) I like a meaningful introduction on what you like and are looking for in the show. Likes and dislikes are welcome. I personally love genuine compliments and provides some reassurance that I am providing you with a quality service. It feels cold and disconnected when I do privates that have zero communication and just start and disconnect without warning. If a viewer is quiet I usually think 1. He's in sensory overload - jerking off feverishly - too busy to pay me much mind besides jerking it to cum as quickly as possibly as cheap as possible 2. Honestly doesn't have much to say but enjoys me enough to take me private.
 
Jun 17, 2019
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_nigerian_prince_
Hey everyone!

I'm a viewer that is pretty brand-spanking new to starting any privates on chaturbate. I had a few questions on the etiquette with them:
Firstly, is it advised to give reassurance you like what you see / throw compliments? To give context, I don't like dirty talk -- it usually feels artificial to me, and honestly makes me chuckle half the time. I'm also aware that the remaining compliments I can think of would likely be cliché as hell and something the model has heard a hundred times already that day. The compliments I'd give are genuine, but surely cheesy... and they ain't gouda.

With that in mind, is it better to say the compliment anyway? Or is it better to stay more on the quiet side?
I mean, if a viewer is quiet, what does that usually make you think?

Thanks all for reading. Opinions greatly appreciated!
Everyone will differ. I've taken models pvt who've from time to time will ask for some sort of feedback, which might be a nuisance to me, but also makes senses since they want to make sure everything is fine. From my experience doing pvt shows I just continue doing what I'm doing until I'm told to do something else, because the times in the past I've asked for feedback has usually just resulted in the user telling me to continue what I was doing. I always make sure to ask what people are looking for in a private show before I accept them as well so that even if they are silent I have somewhat of an idea of what they are looking for.
 
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Deleted member 57619

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Thanks everyone for the responses so far. Makes sense. Sounds like the best route is keeping up the cliché compliments after all to give at least some sort of positive feedback, even if I'm more of a 'do whatever you like' kinda guy more often than not. Sounds like saying something is better than nothing! 🙂
 
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mike_aussie

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Aug 1, 2020
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Some good advice above. I've done privates as a model and user. Sometimes you just go with the flow and enjoy what the model is doing and sometimes it's a more directed experience. Both can be good.

It helps if you spend a bit of time in a model's room first so you can gauge whether they like to be in charge or be led... and also their tolerence for dirty talk and how conversational they are. Keep in mind some models don't speak much English so keep the conversation simple in case they have to translate your words. If in doubt use an emoji lol. Remember to thank them at the end.

As for the pitfalls... not all models are upfront about what they do in their show (and sometimes there are extra costs to do things) so if there's something specific you want to see you might want to pay to PM them first and ask.

I also think it's good manners to tip a bit extra during the private if their price is really low like 6-12 tkns/min but that's up to you. If they have a vibrating toy it can make it more fun to tip anyway. Although I've a couple of privates where the model charged 18tkns or more and was trying to encourage extra tips which was offputting. I probably should have saved my tokens and pulled the pin early but as a model myself I didn't went to get a bad reputation.
 

EliMarie717

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Dec 19, 2019
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I mean, if a viewer is quiet, what does that usually make you think?
If a viewer is quiet I usually think that their hands are busy, and maybe whatever technology they can use and afford isn't the easiest to type on while they are masturbating.

I don't mind hearing the same compliments over and over again, even if they are fake because I feel it shows the viewer is trying to be positive, and communicate that he is happy, and wants to have a chill, positive interaction. So I always appreciate that effort.

If someone told me straight up they didn't like dirty talk, I'd be fine with that. I'd appreciate the honesty and directness. Makes my job easier.

ETA; The only compliments I don't like are ones that put me up while putting others down. So stuff like; "You're the only cool model on this site" or "You're the hottest model on the site" or "You're so much nicer than the other models I visit here." I don't like that kind of stuff at all. Because I feel like someone who talks shit about others to me, is gonna do the exact same thing about me to others, and I think it's lame. But you don't seem like that kind of person, just saying though, some guys do think that I want to hear that kind of thing (I definitely do not).
 
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Deleted member 57619

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I also think it's good manners to tip a bit extra during the private if their price is really low like 6-12 tkns/min.
Would you say this applies to privates where the price isn't too low? I.e. 30 tkns/min, or even 60 tkns/min. Of course, it's one thing if the model states before private or whatnot that extra actions = extra tips, but I'm wondering if it's implied that tipping extra per private is expected regardless
 
Jun 17, 2019
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Would you say this applies to privates where the price isn't too low? I.e. 30 tkns/min, or even 60 tkns/min. Of course, it's one thing if the model states before private or whatnot that extra actions = extra tips, but I'm wondering if it's implied that tipping extra per private is expected regardless
Depends on the model. Some people won't like that they aren't getting tipped even with a higher pvt price 🤷‍♂️
 

mike_aussie

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Aug 1, 2020
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Australia
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Would you say this applies to privates where the price isn't too low? I.e. 30 tkns/min, or even 60 tkns/min. Of course, it's one thing if the model states before private or whatnot that extra actions = extra tips, but I'm wondering if it's implied that tipping extra per private is expected regardless

Extra tips should not be expected. It depends on your budget. I like to get more "bang for my buck" like everyone else but as a model myself I'm acutely aware of what tokens are really worth. 6-12tkns/min is very low to me and a lot of studio models have no say in their pricing. A 30 minute private at 6tkns/min without extras is only 180tkns. That's only USD$9 after Chaturbate take their 50%. Then there are cashout fees and foreign conversion rates to deal with. In the case of studio models that's another 50% gone from the model's pocket.

You could always take a performance-based approach and tip extra tokens at the end of the show if you enjoyed it and the model put in some effort.
 
Apr 29, 2019
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You could always take a performance-based approach and tip extra tokens at the end of the show if you enjoyed it and the model put in some effort.
This or, as OP is not very talkative if I understood well, tipping a little constantly during the whole show can do the missing exchange without much effort telling 'I'm still here and watching'. This can be far enough to models who are also not very talkative (and I think OP will not choose a talkative model as well ^^)

You can also consider c2c, it's a nice way to communicate using the body language.

But no, don't try *to compliment*, don't try also to dirty talk if you're not used to, don't force anything.
But showing your interest in the present instant worth it to have a better experience, to live the show with the model. Then, you'll see the huge difference between caming and simple porn.
 

Diana_Devil

Cam Model
Jul 15, 2017
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Diana_Devil
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Diana_Devil
Hey everyone!

I'm a viewer that is pretty brand-spanking new to starting any privates on chaturbate. I had a few questions on the etiquette with them:
Firstly, is it advised to give reassurance you like what you see / throw compliments? To give context, I don't like dirty talk -- it usually feels artificial to me, and honestly makes me chuckle half the time. I'm also aware that the remaining compliments I can think of would likely be cliché as hell and something the model has heard a hundred times already that day. The compliments I'd give are genuine, but surely cheesy... and they ain't gouda.

With that in mind, is it better to say the compliment anyway? Or is it better to stay more on the quiet side?
I mean, if a viewer is quiet, what does that usually make you think?

Thanks all for reading. Opinions greatly appreciated!
I personally do not care if the member speaks or not. If he does speak a lot ok i do too , if not then i do not and do the show as i consider the best according of what i say in my bio.
Usually when someone takes me pvt i do ask what can i do for you , if the guy says masturbate or fuck then thats what i do , if he is quiet then its fine i do not take it personal , i consider he likes what he see and he is busy masturbating so i try to do my best to do the show like we are comunicating anyway. I also do not care if a guy compliments me or not , because if he decided to take me private i automaticly consider it an apreciation for my time and a compliment ( because you know as long as he pays for a show with me i feel like he value me as a person and my work and thats the most huge compliment that a member can give me )
I had 2 privates recently the guys did not said any word , they only said i want you to fuck , so i did right away without any other interaction , did my orgasm and the guys left . From my side it was fully ok. After 2 days one of them came again went private and was the same thing, so he like it and returned , i am happy he is happy.
Now depends of every girl what she prefers.

Read the model bio what she says there and see if fits to you , if you are not sure , spend a lil time in her free chat and try to spot her personality and if that goes fine with your own personality.

You do not have to force yourself to fit to a certain model , there are plenity of models out there that fit to your shy or non speaking personality. Then if you are not sure about something ask the model before going private if she minds if you sit quiet while she does her show for you .
 
Sep 11, 2020
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I personally do not care if the member speaks or not. If he does speak a lot ok i do too , if not then i do not and do the show as i consider the best according of what i say in my bio.
Usually when someone takes me pvt i do ask what can i do for you , if the guy says masturbate or fuck then thats what i do , if he is quiet then its fine i do not take it personal , i consider he likes what he see and he is busy masturbating so i try to do my best to do the show like we are comunicating anyway. I also do not care if a guy compliments me or not , because if he decided to take me private i automaticly consider it an apreciation for my time and a compliment ( because you know as long as he pays for a show with me i feel like he value me as a person and my work and thats the most huge compliment that a member can give me )
I had 2 privates recently the guys did not said any word , they only said i want you to fuck , so i did right away without any other interaction , did my orgasm and the guys left . From my side it was fully ok. After 2 days one of them came again went private and was the same thing, so he like it and returned , i am happy he is happy.
Now depends of every girl what she prefers.

Read the model bio what she says there and see if fits to you , if you are not sure , spend a lil time in her free chat and try to spot her personality and if that goes fine with your own personality.

You do not have to force yourself to fit to a certain model , there are plenity of models out there that fit to your shy or non speaking personality. Then if you are not sure about something ask the model before going private if she minds if you sit quiet while she does her show for you .
im doing exaclty the same :)) Sometimes i tell to guys who dont say a word, Im happy that you here so i can force you to watch me cum,::p), then i do my show, and thats it lol hes quiet till hes leaving and i do my things the way i like .
 

AudriTwo

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Jul 25, 2014
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im not on chaturbate. so this perspective is coming from a private-based site. please ask before starting a show. the reason i like people asking is that i won't do any special requests, penetration, or fetishes in premium since anyone can join in. i keep premium pretty tame. no toys other than a hitachi. there is nothing worse than someone taking me premium with a show i will only do in exclusive only to leave after learning their request is going to cost them more. now my room has been cleared and i have to build it back up. thanks 😑

im also that bitch that won't do anything until a member says please. i hate having demands barked at me and will make my cunt dry up. just because you have a boner doesn't mean you can't be polite. i have done shows where i sit there telling/typing to the member to say please, only for them to act stubborn. so they get no show. i really don't care about getting negative ratings anymore.
 
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Deleted member 57619

Guest
im not on chaturbate. so this perspective is coming from a private-based site. please ask before starting a show. the reason i like people asking is that i won't do any special requests, penetration, or fetishes in premium since anyone can join in. i keep premium pretty tame. no toys other than a hitachi. there is nothing worse than someone taking me premium with a show i will only do in exclusive only to leave after learning their request is going to cost them more. now my room has been cleared and i have to build it back up. thanks 😑

im also that bitch that won't do anything until a member says please. i hate having demands barked at me and will make my cunt dry up. just because you have a boner doesn't mean you can't be polite. i have done shows where i sit there telling/typing to the member to say please, only for them to act stubborn. so they get no show. i really don't care about getting negative ratings anymore.
Thanks for the advice! I had been asking about privates in PMs before starting shows already, esp since the room I enjoy does teases or whatnot but is non-nude and is pretty tame comparably speaking, but this is a good confirmation to have regardless. I don't have big bdsm inclinations either (-- am about vanilla as a gallon of ice cream), so asking 'please' works for me too lol. I may be pretty new to participating in camsites outside of lurking, but I've seen enough blunt Pub Chat Demands to figure out respect goes a long way in making the experience a lot better.
 

AudriTwo

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Jul 25, 2014
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Thanks for the advice! I had been asking about privates in PMs before starting shows already, esp since the room I enjoy does teases or whatnot but is non-nude and is pretty tame comparably speaking, but this is a good confirmation to have regardless. I don't have big bdsm inclinations either (-- am about vanilla as a gallon of ice cream), so asking 'please' works for me too lol. I may be pretty new to participating in camsites outside of lurking, but I've seen enough blunt Pub Chat Demands to figure out respect goes a long way in making the experience a lot better.
remember vanilla still has some spicy flavor to it ;)
 
Nov 12, 2017
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UK
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@brettm1987
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From my own personal experience, I think this can depend on the model too.
I have had some that are clear they don't want any form of chatting - they want to do their show and end. Unfortunately, those types are not ones I will ever go back to.

I used to be the type of guy who would give a general idea of what I'd like, but then when we're in the show I'd feel too nervous or shy (no idea why!!) to ask even for basic and simple things (such as "please can you pan up so I can see your face better?"). Now, I can still be like this, even with models that I get on extremely well with and I know I have no reason to be. But if you can, definitely communicate - as with anything in life communication is key.

Ultimately though, after 4 years of being on cam site (lolz) I am at that point where I am not too chatty and not too quiet. For me, it helps because I have tipped and talked with a model beforehand, not just a little in a PM to discuss the pvt, but i mean maybe a build-up for days (tipping and chatting during that period) before taking her into a private show. I am not one to just be able to go to a room with a model I find sexy/attractive, and then jump in a pvt with her. So then we kind of both have an understanding of what we both want or don't want or like, etc.

Some models will actually be very upfront on some days and just say "let's not chat, let's just fuck and cum".. But then other days the same model will be the opposite. So it can truly depend on the model, your "relationship" with the model.. and the day, quite simply.
 
Apr 21, 2020
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In the private shows I’ve bought, it seems to vary a lot depending on the model.

I like to ask & agree on everything before the show starts, and then I don’t talk a lot during it. I do tip throughout the show, though. So even though I’m “quiet,” she knows I’m still watching and still happy. It’s just my personal preference during a show to be more of a spectator.

But I’ve had a few private shows where the model was aggressively trying to get me to talk/type my reactions throughout the show. Or even asking me to describe what I was doing. In those cases I just thought “OK, this model runs her private shows a certain way” and played along, but it was awkward finding out in the moment.

Moral of the story is to always ask first to reduce surprises. :)
 
Dec 24, 2020
9
9
1
United States
FEEDBACK!
The best thing you can do!
If it’s positive feedback, the models know their doing it right.
If it’s negative, BE POLITE, but tell them!
Their next pvt, with you or whomever, will be better from your input!
Also, and I have run out a time or two myself, always try to tip for their efforts!
The per minute rate, thats what you owe for the privilege.
TIP YOUR HOSTESS APPROPRIATELY!!

My two bits.
 
Jun 27, 2017
1,094
579
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I'm a viewer that is pretty brand-spanking new to starting any privates on chaturbate. I had a few questions on the etiquette with them:
Firstly, is it advised to give reassurance you like what you see / throw compliments? To give context, I don't like dirty talk -- it usually feels artificial to me, and honestly makes me chuckle half the time. I'm also aware that the remaining compliments I can think of would likely be cliché as hell and something the model has heard a hundred times already that day. The compliments I'd give are genuine, but surely cheesy... and they ain't gouda.

With that in mind, is it better to say the compliment anyway? Or is it better to stay more on the quiet side?
I mean, if a viewer is quiet, what does that usually make you think?

There are certainly exceptions - many of which are already discussed in the thread - but I think you help the model by being extremely specific about what you want her to do, then telling her you like what she is doing once she is doing it correctly.

Regarding being specific: imagine yourself the first day on a new job. Your boss tells you "Hey, go over there and make yourself useful." What is that supposed to mean? It is vague. So you ask the boss to clarify and he gives you no meaningful clarification "Just go over to that area and do some work now." How are you supposed to know what you should work on, or what is the scope and definition of your responsibilities, when the boss is that vague? Well that is exactly the situation that many webcam models face all the time. The viewer just gives them some very vague directions and they just make it up because honestly they have no idea what you want.

I think many viewers choke on this because they do not know what the model likes in real life. But this is not real life, and you are not dating her. You are like a contract employer for the hour who is paying for her time. So telling her the position you want, the style of play you want, the things you want her to say, and the toys you want are just the ways that you help her by giving her clear directions. If she wants to object to anything then let her, and then reconfigure as appropriate.

Having given her clear directions, at some point she is going to wonder "Am I doing this right?" "Does he like what I am doing?" Why put her through that thought process? If you like what she is doing say that. Beyond that, finding things you like about her and just telling her that helps to put her at ease. I think it is just courtesy. Try to find things about her that you like that are not obvious. The other day a model I really like was wearing her hair straight back and the straight hair below her shoulders became wavy strands that went all the way down her back. She looked like a 16th century Venetian princess and I said something along those lines. No, that wasn't a line from "100 pick up lines for webcam models" :) That was literally what I was thinking and I just said it without it being sticky or over the top. It was the kind of compliment I could make and feel I was being transparent and honest, and it was not obsessive or unhealthy. It was the kind of thing you can walk away from. Compare that to being a puppy dog and constantly telling her "Wow, you are so beautiful I cannot stop looking at you." Such compliments - even if true - sound too obsessive and unhealthy, at least if repeated too often. You want her to feel good about herself, not be wondering if she should be calling security.
 

SaffronBurke

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Pluto
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I wouldn't say that constant compliments are necessary, but some feedback is nice. I'm perfectly happy with a viewer just throwing in an occasional "yes" or "mmm", something that's easy enough to type one-handed and lets me know they're enjoying the show. Sometimes they'll be typing up a novel in private, and I find myself wondering if they even have time to jerk off while they're typing all of that.
 
Feb 20, 2020
7
14
16
In my limited, six month experience as a CB viewer, I like to engage during privates. It makes it feel more interactive, which I think is the whole appeal of cam encounters. Otherwise it's just watching a porn vid. I like to tip though out the show, to encourage the model to have fun with it, and agree that a low priced private deserves additional consideration at the end. Sometimes even more expensive shows.

The cash value of tokens is so low, why not put some extra out there to put a model in a happier mood and give her a better day?
 
Nov 3, 2020
36
18
6
viewer myself and i feel your pain.
it can get super awkward at times, sometimes i fake dirty talk because i think the model wants to hear it, even though it does nothing for me 😂
more than once couldnt go back to a models room because i was too ashamed of my failed communication skills 😭.
 
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