Single people: How do you cope with being lonley?

[Guy]

How do you cope with sadness you get from being single?

 

[DrWangFei]

Friends

 

[SMuser69]

Being single isn't the same as being alone, some people are happiest being alone as well. Being single isn't sad or happy it's simply a relationship status. There are sad married, engaged, relationship people in the world. Their emotions usually are a result of their relationship status but maybe could be from many other aspects of their lives or life situation.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Can't say I get sad being single, as the other alternative of being in a shitty relationship can be significantly worse. I know, been there...

But, some things I do to stay busy:

Meet up with good friends
Work
Volunteer
Activities/hobbies
movies


There's a lot of different things one an do. Yeah, sometimes it'd be nice to be with someone as I do enjoy the company of the opposite sex. But, I'm also busy enough with other people that I also enjoy my "me" time and not have to worry about pissing someone else off because I ant my time.

 

[zippypinhead]

In the hierarchy of things in my life that are sad, my singleness is towards the bottom.

Plus, I'm saving up to buy a robot that's programmed to love me! By the time I have enough money, Elon Musk will certainly have invented one and will be selling it under the Tesla brand.

 

[Bocefish]

How do you cope with sadness you get from being single?

What is wrong with being single?

If you depend on others to reduce your sadness, it's time to reevaluate what you enjoy.

 

[JickyJuly]

Think of my exes and be thankful not to have to be in their presence.
Mexican food.
Old movies where everything ends up perfectly.

 

[Lucid1]

The majority of people experience sadness when coming out of a relationship and feel incomplete when the "other half" of their lives are no longer there, and it takes time to adjust to this. But to hop on a "personal pity-pot" and demand that the world see you as a victim worthy of sympathy is not part of a healthy adjustment to being alone(especially when it's an active choice). Being single is a choice, just like choosing not to date is a choice, as is choosing to live like a hermit with no cultivated or maintained social circles.

Speaking only for myself, I choose to be single and I choose to live alone. I find that when I feel "lonely", I feel that way because I find myself thinking about all of the positive and happy interactions I had with my significant other in my previous relationship, and those interactions cannot happen while I am making the active choice to be single and live alone. So, I have to decide if I have healed enough inside to risk taking a chance with someone who I have to invest a LOT of time with getting to know. In my case that answer would be no, because I'm still looking at it from the perspective of what happens if I get hurt again, which anyone could see is not a healthy state of mind to be in. So, I focus on my work and career. At least my work and career cannot just up and walk away because they developed a drug addiction and chose the "high" over me.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Think the other way round: you can live with your SO and still being sad, single and alone. Happens to a lot of people.

 

[Empress Mika]

If you're sad because you're single, you are sad because you feel you yourself aren't enough. Fix that.

 

[dilligaf0]

If I start to feel sad, I go on the internet or go to the store around people. Once I realize how stupid most of them are, I'm happy to be alone.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Remind myself that I have Karaoke Night (which is now twice a week instead of once a week) to look forward to, which I always enjoy. And I make friends pretty easily, and am always meeting cool people at this place. 2017 has been an interesting year. I've been getting out more.

Also...binge watching Aquarius (David Duchovny) online...

 

[mynameisbob84]

Have you thought about joining a dating site, Guy? Or maybe there are groups you can join in your local area. Cooking classes, book circles, yoga classes, volunteer work, etc. Or maybe a night course in something that interests you?

 

[SaffronBurke]

I'm not lonely, I have an active social life. "active social life" for me means playing Dungeons & Dragons every other weekend, but it's honestly perfect for me. I also interact with people on here and on Twitter.

 

[Magnolia]

Cats.

 

[ExcellaExe]

Video games and my cat. Oh, and cake.

 

[sexyvanessa4u]

I've been single for a while and I enjoy it! It gets lonely once in a while, but I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. When I do have a boyfriend again, I want it to be someone who I truly connect with. I'm very independent and I'm an introvert, so I really cherish my alone time too. I've lived with boyfriends before and felt a bit suffocated because they always wanted to hang out together. One of my exes was the opposite of me-he was very clingy and wanted to us to hang out 24/7-he would even come home from work on his lunch breaks so he could spend more time with me. I felt like I couldn't really say, "Hey, I'd actually prefer that you eat lunch at work or with your work buddies" because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I keep myself busy through work, exercise, watching Netflix, listening to music, going out to bars and concerts, reading, watching game shows on TV, surfing the Internet, playing The Sims games on my computer, all sorts of things. I very rarely get bored or feel lonely.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I've been single for a while and I enjoy it! It gets lonely once in a while, but I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. When I do have a boyfriend again, I want it to be someone who I truly connect with. I'm very independent and I'm an introvert, so I really cherish my alone time too. I've lived with boyfriends before and felt a bit suffocated because they always wanted to hang out together. One of my exes was the opposite of me-he was very clingy and wanted to us to hang out 24/7-he would even come home from work on his lunch breaks so he could spend more time with me. I felt like I couldn't really say, "Hey, I'd actually prefer that you eat lunch at work or with your work buddies" because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I could never understand the whole "clingy" thing. I get wanting to spend time with someone. But, I don't want to be with them 24/7. My last GF and I, we would schedule a time to get together due to how busy our lives were. Most weeks, we'd see each other once during the week and then spend time together on the weekend pending work schedules. Rest of the time, we'd either call on the phone or text just to see how the day was going.

 

[MrSweetchuck]

When I feel lonely I either go out with friends or even just alone to some social event. Sometimes I do things at home(drawing, reading, or working on some project), but there's just no replacement for human interaction. Being by myself at the wrong time can cause any bad feeling to get worse, so I try to fix it by going out to get even just a little interaction. Just a chat with someone at a store can be enough. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE VALUE OF SMALL TALK! I know a lot of people trash it as if it's shallow and worthless, but it's great because it's low-pressure, easy, and can lead to so much more. Even the strongest relationships have started with a light chat.

 

[bud9752]

 

[SoTxBob]

It used to be my kids filled the void. Now they are older and one has passed on, its generally my 2 Great Pyrenees that fill the void time. BUT as said, its up to you and no one else to not be sad and find something to satiate your emptiness.

 

[Zoomer]

and one has passed on

Condolences

How do you cope with sadness you get from being single?

I don't get sad from being single - but that's because I work in a very social environment (so am around people 10 hours a day). Do I miss companionship? Yes... and no. Only now, at 38, am I starting to think "wait, in the last 5 years I've made zero attempts to date". Before then I met people a lot, went out a lot, was outgoing, loud, active. Now... not so much I've not missed companionship at all. I like my own space and privacy, but I love being around friends. Maybe a few clingy / controlling ladies put me off for a while (but in the last 5 years I'm not settled due to my job, so no point getting into a relationship that 3 months later I may be 100 miles from).

So if you lead a solitary life, then I can imagine there can be sadness from being single - but that may be more to do with being alone than being single. Is this due to a lack of things to do/keep you busy (social)? Or plenty of social, just no individual to share experiences and feelings with?

Two recommendations without knowing anything about your scenario / circumstances.

1) Join some clubs/societies/volunteer - anything that'll get you out, about, learning something new, interacting with others. It helps integrate you back into a sociable confident individual - and that matters massively if trying to find a partner. And within that sort of environment comes meeting new people (and hopefully dating) too

2) Try dating sites. I've tried Tinder and something called "Plenty of Fish".

So, dating sites - don't think you have to date to find love. You don't. Don't think it's all about sleeping around at all either - it isn't. It's about meeting people. This Sunday I've nothing better to do - so I matched with a girl and we're going for coffee. I don't actually find her that attractive (she's fine), but this is me trying to improve my confidence around meeting people alone who I know very little about. Basically it's all practice for some time when I hopefully match with someone I do find attractive, and I don't fluff it with shyness and inability to present myself well! Once people get to know me, they would say I'm anything but shy Indeed, most often it is me working out what the person is like humour wise/personality etc, and adjusting how I am around them. That takes time.

So I don't cope with sadness from being single as I know there are ways to address it, it's been a personal choice to be single. However, I'm now making an effort to end the single time via getting out there and meeting new folks. That alone is a lot of fun

(i've had some really nice dates, and most seem to be Doctors O_O )

 

[Guy]

I know for a fact that do to personal struggles that I'm dealing with, I am far from being ready to start dating/to be in a relationship . At the same time, me being single is getting to me pretty bad. Today, when I was watching a preview of a GFE video on ManyVids, I cried.

 

[ThePrincessLuxy]

If you don't want to date, but want to physically be close with someone, maybe consider an escort? No strings attached gfe for a set amount of time. It could maybe help you sort through why or what it is that you feel you aren't ready for a long term gf.

Finding ways to be productive really helps me. I often realize I may not feel lonely but rather bored. A bored mind wanders into dark places sonetines. Working, hobbies, having a pet... these all are good things.

 

[Guy]

If you don't want to date, but want to physically be close with someone, maybe consider an escort?

It's more of me wanting something emotional.
Also, prostitution is illegal in my state and if I were to become sexually active I would only be interested in having passionate/romantic sex.

 

[Dan Epstein]

What works for me is not trying to convince myself that it's all okay, or going to be okay. You don't choose a life, you live it. Sometimes the need for a Disney like romance is way more deviant and far fetched than any Gonzo porn. I build my confidence alone and I don't always need a feedback or an approval in order to feel whole.

 

[Nikola Tesla]

The first thing is not to equate being single with being lonely. Think of all the freedom you have to do what you want, when you want to.
Being married is overrated

 

[_pilya_]

*No headache from arguments
*No worries if I'm being cheated
*No Jealousy, why he liked someone on FB
*No one tells me what to wear, or how I should act
*No waiting on phone calls (or any form of messages), and wondering why he hasn't called
...list goes on,
So being single isn't that bad, especially now I cam and I have all the guest to chat with any given time of the day and if I'm lucky, they are friendly enough to tip me. --Best way of coping with loneliness!

 

[FrankieDay]

I have two guys in my life and they will always be waiting for me to come home and cuddle. I wish they wouldn't lick their assholes when I have company though...
.
.
.

Cats.

 

[peter766xxxx]

How do you cope with sadness you get from being single?

That's a tough question. I think you might say a positive mental attitude on this one. It can be tough being single, it probably feel worse if you had no family or support, but what can you do? I live every day not thinking about it or trying not to. It does help, if you can't I would recommend a therapist or someone similar. Some people have a hard time dating, like myself. So in the long run you prefer your own company. Anyway good luck, people like you are in my thoughts every day. I hope you find what you want out there.