Some Advice/ Opinions

[MidnightMarina]

So I've been doing this for about 3 weeks now (had some medical stuff come up and couldn't get on a couple of days but that's all good now) and I've had some questions that I thought you guys might have some good input on.

So I'm on LiveJasmin, started with them, a nice interface, and made some bucks, but I can never get anyone to do their version of the tip menu it's always private which is fine except I always lose the people they follow me in because I am focused on the one who came in first. Half the time I don't even notice the other person or people. I feel bad when this happens and always send a little note saying that I am sorry and would like to see them again when I can make them the center of my attention. However, this is also where I seem to encounter the most trolls which I ignore just seems like there are a lot on there.

Is this a good idea? Am I over thinking this? I know I'm a people pleaser and I hate to think someone went away mad. I know I can't please everyone, and there is always going to be that one asshole but on the whole I try to be fair to everyone.

I'm also on Chaturbate...it's like pulling teeth to get anyone to talk on here I end up rambling on about random things, food, movies, books, what's on my bucket list...always asking for their input, and nothing but crickets. I know in the beginning it's going to be hard but I feel like I'm running out of topics, I'm so scared of inadvertently breaking a rule and getting booted...I even tell people if they start asking about banned things that it's not allowed on the platform and I will not discuss it.

The third site I'm on, which I like the best people on MFC...I haven't had anyone insult me at all yet, and while I did have a couple of guys start an argument it didn't last long when I asked them to please stop or at least argue privately (I don't know if that's even possible but they stopped) I love how when they pick something off the tip menu it tells me exactly what it's for on CB I'm always making the menu come back up so I can remind myself what is what. (Between my dyslexia and ADHD I get the numbers and actions confused, Cheat sheets are nice but I don't want them to think I'm doing something more important than taking care of them)

So I guess these are my questions

Is it normal for guys to come and just listen to you ramble on and on? Once and a while I'll get a single or double-digit tip but nothing substantial.

I want to make my broadcast space nice and was thinking of maybe implementing a tapestry but then I worry that it would look cheap and crappy. Does anyone have any experience with them?

I blocked my first person yesterday...for his screenname, it was very homophobic and cruel. I won't copy it here...I told him I thought it was inappropriate and his response was to go cry about it so I blocked him. Did I do the wrong thing? Do you usually ignore insulting, cruel, and prejudiced screennames? I wanted to report him but got frustrated trying to figure out how, and if it was even really an offense.

How do you get off gracefully without going well Gee it's been fun I'm going to leave you now with all those hard ons. I mean I would stay because I am having a blast but I do have responsibilities to take care of also. Should there be a fifteen-minute warning that I will be leaving or something of that nature? I don't want to drive people from my room because I had to leave...Well, I don't want to drive people away from my room period.

I've been having fun taking pictures and stuff and then I came across the info on the legal form stuff I think it was 5777 (sorry me and numbers don't get along) and I've searched and searched and can't find out if I need to keep one for myself and whoever is taking my picture? I mean it's my husband, we aren't hiring anyone for a professional shoot. I just want to make sure all my t are crossed and my i's are dotted.

My last question is more of an ethics question...I had one guy who put a couple hundred in my pocket and we were chatting all the time, in private and in private messages. He started talking about how he wished he could really be with me. I very nicely told him that would be fun but it was just not something that was feasible. We set up a private for two days later...I dressed up the way he liked and nothing....He had even messaged me that he couldn't wait for our "date". I haven't heard from him since Monday and we were supposed to have his private show on Wednesday. Did I do the wrong thing by being honest and telling him that I would fulfill his desires online but not in reality? I am kind of worried too that something may have happened to him, which I know there is nothing I can do about that but I am a champion worrier. Yes, I made the most money from him, he was becoming a friend too and spent more time shooting the shit than sexual stuff which was his request from the beginning. I'm submissive so I like following directions to an extent, if something is out of my purview I let them know and it's never been an issue.

I have learned so much the last couple weeks, When I'm not broadcasting I'm either here reading up on stuff, making ideas of things to talk about (If i don't go in with ideas my mind goes blank), or responding to any pms that come in. Thank you all for the help you've given me I appreciate it immensely. I am going to do the verified model thing but I wanted to be active for longer on the sites before I did...make sure I'm going to show up as doing this as a living, not a hobby. I am having so much fun, and absolutely meeting all these people from around the world from the safety of my room. So Thank you, everyone! When I start doubting things I come and read and find answers, inspiration, and motivation from you all.

This is really a wonderful and helpful place

OK I'll stop rambling now.

 

[MarieElise]

I'm not a super social room person, so probably the wrong person to answer this. But I think it's fine to people please (in this context), when they are paying you to.
I think that you will end up burned out faster if you put a ton of emotional energy into people who aren't giving much back. In cam rooms where voyeuristic people will take full advantage of you (for years on end without tipping, and have absolutely no qualms about doing so), I really wouldn't worry so much. Because the wrong type of people hone in on that, and will take total advantage.

Keep in mind I run a mainly sexual cam room, and I don't tolerate lurkers, or people just hanging out trying to catch "the vibe" at all. So I'm the other end of the spectrum. I did start out more like you, but that didn't work out for me at all. However, in general open ended questions encourage conversation, whilst closed ended don't. Also the judicious use of silence is something a lot of people are not comfy with, but it is necessary to get others to participate, because silence puts a pressure on them. Whereas if you talk the whole time, there's no reason for them to participate or do any work in the slightest. I would try lots of open ended questions with long pauses. During which you don't do sexual stuff for free, and maybe even move the camera up so that body, cleavage etc are out of view. Then move back in view when being tipped and paid, to create a boundary between what you offer for free, and what you do not. It also pays to study the basics of body language and use those while live on cam.

If you feel the pressure to talk and entertain constantly, which is likely w ADHD (I have it too), I would practice using like fidget tools, or counting in your head, or even standing dancing. But dancing in a way where you are enticing, but not giving a ton away for free. Again moving the camera wisely based on whether people are tipping or not, and trying to remain really vigilant of that. ADHD can be really hard to manage on cam. But there are definitely ways of doing so successfully. It's an added challenge though, for sure, and a big one! Listening to music and learning every single word to every single song I like, helps me too.

In general, I'd just encourage you to hang on to your power, and not hand it over trustingly to others in this context. Lots of people are sadistic and get off on wierd emotional mind games. They know very well what we want.

 

[Vixxen81]

Worrying is like a rocking chair -- gives you something to do but doesn't get you anywhere. If someone brings it up, respond to their concern, otherwise act like you are Queen/King of the castle and what you say goes. Because you are and it does. Do not ever worry about banning anyone from your room on CB. (I literally just banned a guy while typing this because of his tip note to me. He did not get the flash he tipped for, either.)

I'm more on the social side of the cam world, but that's mainly because I don't do hardcore shows. If you don't have a tip-reactive toy on Chaturbate you're going to be in for a rough time. Play music. Run a fun app like Keno or set up ticket shows. The newer you are, the harder you have to work to get a following going on there. Consistency in your schedule helps.

 

[MidnightMarina]

Thank you ladies! I really appreciate the advice! Everyday I learn a little more.