I want to thank you for making me look at this a different way. I realized after reviewing the last few weeks that actually she is in a process of complete meltdown, and I am doing nothing to help her. It completely exhausts me and your point on time/resources is well taken. I think the wake-up call for me is when some totally innocent remark by me made her run off then come back and throw her brand new cell phone against the wall...HARD. I mean hard enough to leave a permanent dent in the wall. It should have been clear then, but is absolutely clear now, that she is the person who comes into your home, starts grabbing plates, and throws them on the ground until her anger exhausts. She drinks like a sailor, smokes like a chimney, and simply cycles through waves of anger that get triggered by almost nothing. It's actually not an act, and as of today I am asking why am I part of this.
I think the trap for me was that initially all of these behaviors seemed to be due to lack of support from her friends. Now I understand she pushes everyone away, and she is stuck in a repeating and destructive cycle. I thought I could make a difference but I was wrong. If anything, I am feeding the pathology. I am incredibly loyal to people, so once I got caught up in this I did not engage in self-preservation.
