Weird Racial Stuff on MFC

[NerdieBirdie]

Yeah... it does.
A white person trying to use that word socially will always surprise me. Maybe they're socially awkward and clueless. Maybe they're an entitled asshole. Either way, yeah. Weird, surprising moment created. Most of this thread feels like a weird surprising moment.

Oh I feel you. I was surprised to read someone say they had an issue with same sex couples several posts up in this thread, thought about saying something, decided it was off topic, didn't say anything...but its been on my mind. Sometimes, especially in this profession, I guess it is better to not know about people's personal opinions...or I don't know, maybe it is good to know what members have issues with that. Geez.

 

[NerdieBirdie]

Very thought provoking post.

There is another element to this as well. The ones who focus on their race, not that of the model. Seems like I remember @SaffronBurke mentioning somewhere that many of the guys claiming to be black are actually white, and I am very curious to know if this is true.

Few nights ago, I sat and watched as a guy soiled a public chat with graphic descriptions of what was going on with his genitalia. Every sentence referenced the fact that he was black, and I wondered as I watched if Saffron's insight applied in this case. He tipped a little, so the model was content to let it go on for a bit. But then descriptions of the hot juices that were coating his black balls started. At that point I let the model know that I would probably tip some more if she could contain his nastiness in a pm window.

For the record though, the race part didn't play into it too much for me. Even when race isn't mentioned, that kind of lewdness kind of fouls the waters for me (unless I am drunk, then I may try to outdo them).

I have had instances where people have talked about their "giant 10 inch black cock" but also had their cams on, which I will occasionally click on a cam out of boredom, to see what a person looks like, and close it 20 seconds later. These people are usually white. I can confirm that there are men on MFC who will claim to have "giant black cocks" and they are actually scrawny ass white dudes who aren't even naked. Not sure what they get out of it or what the situation is with that.

On the other hand, I have had black men, who are black, try to get me to say I want black cock or that I need to try black cock after me admitting I haven't had sex with a black man. There is no reason to this, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19 and have been with the same guy the last 5 years. But anyways, it puts me in a weird position whenever someone is questioning whether or not I "need the black dick" or if I'd want their "big black cock." I always tell people, of any race, whenever this comes up, that I don't desire a penis based on the race of it. That a white person with a nice giant cock could be a serial killer, as could a black man. It seems in the camming world there is a portion of premium members who dismiss that a woman could ever desire a man for anything aside from the size and color of their dick. Honestly my attraction to someone, whether in real life or in camming, is rooted in who they are, not what color their dick is.

This is why I am happy I stopped doing cumshows and being sexual on MFC. It just keeps so many of these people out of my room and now my room is full of people like me, who want to chat, hang out, being slightly nude, and laugh. Not talk about whether or not their "footlong" would break my "precious white pussy."

 

[SaffronBurke]

Very thought provoking post.

There is another element to this as well. The ones who focus on their race, not that of the model. Seems like I remember @SaffronBurke mentioning somewhere that many of the guys claiming to be black are actually white, and I am very curious to know if this is true.

Few nights ago, I sat and watched as a guy soiled a public chat with graphic descriptions of what was going on with his genitalia. Every sentence referenced the fact that he was black, and I wondered as I watched if Saffron's insight applied in this case. He tipped a little, so the model was content to let it go on for a bit. But then descriptions of the hot juices that were coating his black balls started. At that point I let the model know that I would probably tip some more if she could contain his nastiness in a pm window.

For the record though, the race part didn't play into it too much for me. Even when race isn't mentioned, that kind of lewdness kind of fouls the waters for me (unless I am drunk, then I may try to outdo them).

My experience has been that 90% of the ones who make a big deal out of their race (racially suggestive username, constant references to being black) likely are white - though they never turn their cameras on, so I can't be certain. I do know that I have customers of all races, and the black guys don't make a big deal out of being black - they just turn on their cam and ask if I like what I see. Some of them engage in dirty talk regarding their race during a private, but they don't mention it beforehand in free chat.

There are a few theories circulating on Tumblr about why white guys fetishize being black, and a lot of it boils down to racist stereotypes. Either they have a complex about dick size, or their fetish revolves around the way that black men are perceived by our society as "other" and non-human.

 

[Teagan]

Yup Yup. I used to get guys constantly just pop in and say random things along the lines of "you like bbc baby?" and so on. I've also seen the same lines said in pretty much every girls room at one time or another. The second you tell them anything other than yes they leave or try to coax you further or flip out. They wanna hear you say it and talk about it and dirty talk about their bbc to no end. They don't wanna hear about just a big dick either, they wanna hear you call them black as if it's important to you as it is to them.

And I also find several of them (you can keep notes on people) usually turn out to be white. Guys who have said this shit will later on have their cam on and you click and they are whiter than I am. I can't even count the amount of times I have had members ask if I do racial humiliation or just try to push it on me as if everyone should just be okay doing it cause they want it. It's a giant amount actually wanting to be humiliated based on race alone. I don't indulge them or judge them (i'm just not comfy with it at the moment) but I also do not understand it at all. I can get in to the mindset of where a lot of fetishists are coming from even though it's not my cup of tea but I can never get behind the mind of a white man pretending to be black and asking to be humiliated for it sexually. Again I do not judge them but I do judge anyone who shoves their fetish down anothers throat. It's just not cool be it race, age play, or even anal. Consent man...it matters. It's not that hard to treat someone else as a human being.

 

[MFCGod]

It's your room, if people make you feel uncomfortable for any reason ban/ignore them

You don't owe them an explanation nor us

 

[CherryChu]

This thread brings up an interesting question. Suppose a model, African-American, is on cam and someone comes in and calls her the N word. She becomes pissed off, and rightfully so. However, at the same time she's playing hip hop music in her room throughout most of the night that has the N word repeated heavily througout. Also references to bitch, whore and many other derogatory terms. Many, heavily; can't stress that part enough.

Now I understand that music is a culture choice and it's different when one African-American calls another the N word. Heard all those arguments before. But does it really come as a surprise when people in the room hearing her be totally fine with that language start to use it themselves?

All the standard arguments aside, does she not bear some of the blame for it happening when she is clearly condoning it herself all night long?

This video from about 4:05 onwards - the 3rd guy along explains it pretty well in my opinion...



Personally I really hate gangster rap and things like that so I don't say it, but I do wish people would try to think about context before they say/do something just because they saw someone else say/do it.

 

[CherryChu]

*rambles*

Whenever I'm asked if I like black/white/Asian guys: "Yeah why not?"
Whenever I'm asked if I like black/white/Asian cock: "Depends on who it's attached to"

Both true XD in those cases it still weirds me out but I guess because it's not focused on me it's easier to just disarm them by not being all that interested or opposed to it. I still don't like it but I think there's something different about actually making ME the focus of the fetish, for MY race. At that point I just say 'your slurs aren't welcome here' and ban. I'm not really an angry person and I've known enough volatile people in my life to know how to deal with them and/or defend myself without getting flustered. This is another reason some of this thread has been surprising to me - with the occasional comment essentially saying 'pay them no heed, don't make a big deal of it' - maybe we're already not making a big deal of it...? Maybe the ones making a big deal of it are the ones coming to our rooms and asking for our race to be central to their fantasy?

 

[MFCGod]

I wasn't going to comment but..

I feel like skin colour is irrelevant

To even argue that white people can or can't say the N word, you're acknowledging there's a real tangible difference between people just because of something as trivial as their skin colour

Differentiating people because of skin colour then opens up the doors to dehumanizing which then opens the doors to real abuse like slavery and genocide etc

But then people seem to look for a way to dehumanize each other for any reason, religions etc

I suppose it even goes down to kids at one school hating the kids at the other local school, just because you go to different schools.

We as humans (I'm not sure if it's nature or nurture) seem to like to manufacture differences from one another.

 

[CherryChu]

I would think that to an extent, which is why I don't really like people saying any variant of nigger/nigga regardless of their race, but I do think it's worse if the person saying it is not someone who might seriously have been referred to as a nigger by a blatant racist (ie people with no black heritage). I'm only part black and because of that I consider it to be a little worse for me to say it than for a fully black person. I dunno it's a complex thing and there are too many opinions on it and too many factors so I don't usually discuss stuff like this... also I'm very tired ha

 

[dilligaf0]

I'd also suggest encouraging your regulars not to engage any of the trolls that enter your room and to ignore them. Literally ignore them; it's a feature that members have and should take advantage of. They can right click a member's name, either on the room list or in chat, hit 'Ignore' on the popup and presto! - they're rendered mute for that member. I've put so many undesirables on ignore for being abusive, disrespectful, racist, mean or just for general jackassery. Even for excessive whining, which is a pet peeve of mine. Members will still see an ignored member in the room list, but the ignored user's name will be highlighted in a reddish bar.

I point this out because some members or visitors to your room, especially members who may be newer to MFC, may be unaware of the functionality. They just have to hit that blue 'x' and the offending member is now muted for them. They can also manage the ignore list from their personal options.

Room regulars who genuinely appreciate the time they spend talking to you in your room, watching shows, laughing with other regulars... they will often feel the urge to confront some of the dickishness a new troll can bring. Please remember that this is not them believing that you can't stick up for yourself (forgive me, for lack of a better term) so much as it is them disliking a troublemaker causing a scene in one of their favorite hangouts and voicing their disapproval of said behavior. Think of it as someone from out of town coming into your favorite bar and badmouthing the favorite bartender or owner. People will naturally take offense to that kind of thing. Your room regulars are no different. Just encourage them not to engage (because that often makes it worse and feeds an asshole's ego) and to just ignore anyone being an asshat until you can ban them.

I swear, my ignore list must be the size of the U.S. tax code. Seriously, it would choke a spreadsheet.

Mine's over 3,000.

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

Ban the fuck out of them.
It's kind of weird how many white people in this discussion are justifying the use of the n-word. Sorry but if you aren't black, it really isn't up for you to decide how offensive it is.
Experiences with my race while camming have been unusual. I may have pale skin, but look at my features and it's pretty obvious that I'm also Mexican. And I get weird responses when it comes up.
"No way, you're wayy too white looking" - Yep, my father happens to be white and I look like him.
"Stand up bb and prove it by shaking those big hips" - Uh, tip first bb?
"How do you feel about all the illegals in the US?" - Not the place for that discussion
"I bet you get a spicy temper, lol" - Keep stereotyping me and you'll find out.
"prove it, speak Spanish" - No hablo mucho pero entiendo bien. Chupe mi culo, chinga.
Another weird thing is that if I respond to spanish speaking users IN spanish, lots of people leave the room right away. I can understand just popping in and not wanting to see a model you can't understand, but if you've been watching me for a few minutes, it's pretty clear that I switch back and forth as to try and communicate with everybody.

 

[yummybrownfox]

This would only be true if Nigga and Nigger were one and the same, but they're not. I'm not going to get into the "Black people say it, why can't I?" or the "If they don't want White people to say it, they shouldn't say it either" argument because that's another conversation entirely. To keep it short and simple, just because I listen to Jay Z doesn't mean you have carte blanche to insult me by calling me the N word. Listening to music doesn't mean you have to endorse everything the musician stands for. Eminem frequently talks about killing his daughter's mother. Because I listen to him am I condoning that too?

This.

@Jerry:
The singer Erykah Badu says the word "nigga" in her song "Tyrone." That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop listening to Erykah Badu. Or that I will refrain from listening to Erykah Badu (or that song) in public chat just because you think it "implies that I condone the word." Lol. And to say that the model shouldn't be surprised then if someone comes in and calls her "niggER" as a result is ridiculous and insulting. There is no excuse, and by you making that statement, you're basically excusing the behavior.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Oh I feel you. I was surprised to read someone say they had an issue with same sex couples several posts up in this thread, thought about saying something, decided it was off topic, didn't say anything...but its been on my mind. Sometimes, especially in this profession, I guess it is better to not know about people's personal opinions...or I don't know, maybe it is good to know what members have issues with that. Geez.

Yes, I saw that post too (she said she's "against gay sex"). It sort of caught me by surprised the way it was just blurted out.

 

[MFCGod]

Sorry but if you aren't black, it really isn't up for you to decide how offensive it is..

I do really feel like the whole "n word argument" is something that's been set up to try and enforce in people minds that black and white people are different and to keep racial tension alive

Personally Id like to cut out the "black people" and "white people" and just have "people", one rule for everyone

If it's a horrible word it's a horrible word for anyone to say (context depending)

It seems crazy to me that we should be segregating what people can and can't do in the 21st century by skin colour.

 

[eclipse76]

I may have pale skin, but look at my features and it's pretty obvious that I'm also Mexican

Don't forget that your customers are not only from the U.S. but from the rest of the world too, they don't have to be familiar with North Americans ethnicities, and even less U.S. very peculiar racial "categories" and prejudices.

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

Don't forget that your customers are not only from the U.S. but from the rest of the world too, they don't have to be familiar with North Americans ethnicities, and even less U.S. very peculiar racial "categories" and prejudices.

Very true. I often get asked if I'm some sort of other ethnicity, like Italian or Russian. It sometimes does get easy to forget that I'm on an international site. I guess me speaking Spanish and English back and forth is the best reminder.
Another thing I've noticed is that it's mostly the US where we call ourselves by other nationalities than American. Like, if I tell a European user that I'm also German, the response is usually "cool, what part?" Um, no I was born in the US...but I get the misunderstanding.
So yeah, I totally agree with you on that one.

 

[JickyJuly]

I'm confused as to why we're centering on the fact that members used the word, and ignoring the fact that they were acting out their fetish without consent or compensation. How we feel about racial fetishes isn't really at play here. If someone wants to act out their fetish, they can ask appropriately preferably on a private based site where the search engines are set up to more easily find willing participants. When a member of any color actively seeks out a woman of color and uses the words nigger and slave at her, he isn't asking her to take part in his fetish. He is acting out his fetish already. He's freeloading. Fetish freeloading. And, when your fetish involved making someone submissive to you or humiliating them and you do that without their agreeing, you're an asshole of epic proportions. If you choose your target based on skin color, you're a racist asshole of epic proportions.

I hate that girls on MFC seem to so often be the target of people with fetishes trying to just get free anything.

 

[Teagan]

I'm confused as to why we're centering on the fact that members used the word, and ignoring the fact that they were acting out their fetish without consent or compensation. How we feel about racial fetishes isn't really at play here. If someone wants to act out their fetish, they can ask appropriately preferably on a private based site where the search engines are set up to more easily find willing participants. When a member of any color actively seeks out a woman of color and uses the words nigger and slave at her, he isn't asking her to take part in his fetish. He is acting out his fetish already. He's freeloading. Fetish freeloading. And, when your fetish involved making someone submissive to you or humiliating them and you do that without their agreeing, you're an asshole of epic proportions. If you choose your target based on skin color, you're a racist asshole of epic proportions.

I hate that girls on MFC seem to so often be the target of people with fetishes trying to just get free anything.

If they just pop in and call a girl a racist slur they don't necessarily have a fetish for racial play. The person may just legit be an asshole, racist, or trolling.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I do really feel like the whole "n word argument" is something that's been set up to try and enforce in people minds that black and white people are different and to keep racial tension alive

Personally Id like to cut out the "black people" and "white people" and just have "people", one rule for everyone

If it's a horrible word it's a horrible word for anyone to say (context depending)

It seems crazy to me that we should be segregating what people can and can't do in the 21st century by skin colour.

White people and black people may not be any different from each other, but our experiences are vastly different. To ignore that impedes progress from happening.

I'm white. Because of that, I can walk up to a cop anywhere and ask for help, and I'll get it. If I'm pulled over for forgetting to signal or having a light out, I can trust that I'll be let off with a warning, and not have to worry about being assaulted, arrested, or worse. I can walk into a store and not have every sales person immediately suspicious and breathing down my neck to make sure I don't steal. I can run across the street to beat the light, and not have to worry that someone will assume that I'm running from a crime I just committed.

Black people have to worry about all these things and more, because our society assumes that they're criminals, violent, less-than. They've had slurs used against them in violent ways.

When a white person uses the n-word, it speaks of this inequality, of the extreme amount of hate that has been associated with that word, and the harm that has been done with it. When black people say it, they have changed the spelling and pronunciation to make it into a different word. But just because a person reclaims a slur, that doesn't mean that anybody else use it. Gay people sometimes jokingly call themselves "f****t", and may even call each other that word - but it doesn't mean that anyone else can call them that, and not wanting to be called that by straight people doesn't mean that they shouldn't say it themselves.

 

[MFCGod]

White people and black people may not be any different from each other, but our experiences are vastly different. To ignore that impedes progress from happening..

Everyone should have equality in every situation

To me, thinking "a white person can't use that word" is in the same family (though obviously less extreme) as "a black person shouldn't be able to come in my shop and buy things"

They're both wrong, they're both not fair, everyone should be treated equally

You can't fight for "everyone should be treated equally" and then put boundaries on what people can and can't do based on the colour of their skin, even if it does come down to a simple word.

 

[CherryChu]

We SHOULD all have equality in every situation, but the fact is that we don't.

 

[Teagan]

Everyone should have equality in every situation

To me, thinking "a white person can't use that word" is in the same family (though obviously less extreme) as "a black person shouldn't be able to come in my shop and buy things"

They're both wrong, they're both not fair, everyone should be treated equally

You can't fight for "everyone should be treated equally" and then put boundaries on what people can and can't do based on the colour of their skin, even if it does come down to a simple word.

I see your point but I don't think it should apply to being able to use racial or hateful slurs whether they are intended in that way or not. Yes every one should be treated equal however recognizing that in the past (and let's be fair the present and future too) people have not been just makes some things off limits and taking it too far. Pretending that every one can say any word any way they want just seems like it's trying to erase the past of some races or the intent of some words and you can't do that.

 

[MFCGod]

I see your point but I don't think it should apply to being able to use racial or hateful slurs whether they are intended in that way or not. Yes every one should be treated equal however recognizing that in the past (and let's be fair the present and future too) people have not been just makes some things off limits and taking it too far. Pretending that every one can say any word any way they want just seems like it's trying to erase the past of some races or the intent of some words and you can't do that.

But if they are hateful slurs, they shouldn't be acceptable for anyone to say.

I'm white and from England, it's not a word that's ever been in my vocabulary and it's not something I would ever use because I wouldn't wish to offend.

Just because I believe people shouldn't be any more offended if a white person says it than a black person doesn't mean that I'm ignorant to the fact it currently does have that effect for a lot of people.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

But if they are hateful slurs, they shouldn't be acceptable for anyone to say.

This is a very narrow view imo.

Pick out a pet name for your woman. Baby, sugarbutt, sweetpuzzy, whatever she will allow. Now try to call women you don't know by that name. If they don't like it, then you shouldn't be able to call your SO that either? This doesn't wash.

 

[MFCGod]

This is a very narrow view imo.

Pick out a pet name for your woman. Baby, sugarbutt, sweetpuzzy, whatever she will allow. Now try to call women you don't know by that name. If they don't like it, then you shouldn't be able to call your SO that either? This doesn't wash.

I assumed in the context of the discussion we're talking about total strangers and general social etiquette rather than personal relationships which of course are different.

 

[Nordling]

It isn't that "white people can't use that word," obviously they do. The question is when is it appropriate? Should a Christian talk about "how the holocaust was?" We all have unique experience, and for other people to think they know OUR experience isn't about being "PC," it's about respect. Worrying about your "right" to use a racial slur is simply dumb.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I assumed in the context of the discussion we're talking about total strangers and general social etiquette rather than personal relationships which of course are different.

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps we both are. Or perhaps we are both wrong.

It is all about context is the exact point I was making. There is no way I could get comfortable using that word with a black person, no matter how close we got. But it doesn't bother me in the least if two black people use it with each other all day long, whether as a sign of affection, insult, or what have you. It is a cultural thing. And there is a lot of bad history behind it.

But there are exceptions. One of Eddie Griffin's stand up specials, he used that word extensively just because other prominent blacks had scolded him for it. Didn't much care for that, and after a few minutes I bowed out. It wasn't funny to me, just nauseating.

 

[L'Erotica]

someone say they had an issue with same sex couples

she said she's "against gay sex"

If this refers to me, I was talking about myself, not other couples. I don't like gay sex means I don't like fucking women. And I don't care if anyone else does. Just not interested.

 

[Messalina]

um... "nigger" and "nigga" are different words?

 

[Monster High]

Okay, guess I have to apologize for what I said. I really didn't know that racism is still such a massive problem as you say.
But still, I think that most n-word insults in the Web come from retards picking up the easiest way to get some black dude pissed off. Maybe I just don't want to believe that there are so many people who treat other people different if their skin is not the same color. That's so stupid.