How to handle not getting what I asked for?

jackie_O · Dec 21, 2013

Hi ladies! I used to have model status here, but I lost it due to lack of participation, which is due to lack of camming. Totally understandable, I just mention it to say that I am coming at this situation as both a buyer and a seller.

So I made a request on ExtraLunchMoney for a custom tickling video, as a gift for my significant other who has a tickling fetish. I offered 50 credits for 3 minutes of introduction, talking about yourself and teasing about being tickled. And then 10 minutes or thereabouts of tickling. I also asked that it be done before today, the 21st because I wanted to give the gift today.

It was delivered at 6:45PM today, and the whole video is only 3 minutes. I'm extremely bummed about this. Now, as a participant in someone else's tickling fetish I can understand not being able to take that much tickling. But we talked about it extensively before hand, and it was clear what I expected. I feel like she shouldn't have taken it if she couldn't deliver it, or at least have realized she couldn't deliver and made more of an apology when she delivered the video as opposed to laughing it off.

ELM gives me the option of cancelling the payment at this point in the process, if the product wasn't satisfactory. But I'm conflicted. I most definitely do NOT want to pay $50 for this video that was both late and well under what I asked for. But I don't want to just cancel. And I'm really not even sure what to say.

AllisonWilder · Dec 21, 2013

jackie_O said:
Hi ladies! I used to have model status here, but I lost it due to lack of participation, which is due to lack of camming. Totally understandable, I just mention it to say that I am coming at this situation as both a buyer and a seller.

So I made a request on ExtraLunchMoney for a custom tickling video, as a gift for my significant other who has a tickling fetish. I offered 50 credits for 3 minutes of introduction, talking about yourself and teasing about being tickled. And then 10 minutes or thereabouts of tickling. I also asked that it be done before today, the 21st because I wanted to give the gift today.

It was delivered at 6:45PM today, and the whole video is only 3 minutes. I'm extremely bummed about this. Now, as a participant in someone else's tickling fetish I can understand not being able to take that much tickling. But we talked about it extensively before hand, and it was clear what I expected. I feel like she shouldn't have taken it if she couldn't deliver it, or at least have realized she couldn't deliver and made more of an apology when she delivered the video as opposed to laughing it off.

ELM gives me the option of cancelling the payment at this point in the process, if the product wasn't satisfactory. But I'm conflicted. I most definitely do NOT want to pay $50 for this video that was both late and well under what I asked for. But I don't want to just cancel. And I'm really not even sure what to say.

I would tell her exactly what you told us. You obviously won't get the video on time, but she might be able to fix it so that you get a video closer to the length that was agreed on.

jackie_O · Dec 21, 2013

AllisonWilder said:
I would tell her exactly what you told us. You obviously won't get the video on time, but she might be able to fix it so that you get a video closer to the length that was agreed on.

I think that is definitely a mature way to do it. I think I should probably respond tomorrow when I'm less bummed and frustrated.

I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt that shit just happens sometimes, but at the same time can't help but feel like that is something I would never do, laugh off giving someone something late and well under what was asked for. I can't help but feel kind of scammed, and I don't want to encourage that kind of thing or lose my own money to it.

I'll definitely ask her if she'll redo it, I want to give her the chance. Then if she wont, I'll talk to her about renegotiating the payment. I mean she did some of what I asked so I don't want to stiff her or anything drastic. My goal at this point is to make sure it all comes out without any kind of drama.

SexySteph · Dec 21, 2013

jackie_O said:
AllisonWilder said:

I would tell her exactly what you told us. You obviously won't get the video on time, but she might be able to fix it so that you get a video closer to the length that was agreed on.

Click to expand...

I think that is definitely a mature way to do it. I think I should probably respond tomorrow when I'm less bummed and frustrated.

I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt that shit just happens sometimes, but at the same time can't help but feel like that is something I would never do, laugh off giving someone something late and well under what was asked for. I can't help but feel kind of scammed, and I don't want to encourage that kind of thing or lose my own money to it.

I'll definitely ask her if she'll redo it, I want to give her the chance. Then if she wont, I'll talk to her about renegotiating the payment. I mean she did some of what I asked so I don't want to stiff her or anything drastic. My goal at this point is to make sure it all comes out without any kind of drama.

You say that you used to be a cam girl so I hope that you remember how busy and stressful our lives can get. Sometimes you just fall behind on things or get involved in a video and realize that you just can't handle it. I think many of us have made a custom that isn't quite what you'd expected it to be or not on time and stressed and stressed about it. There's just often no repercussions because the party that is going to watch and enjoy the video is the one that receives it rather than someone who is not aroused by it so has a clearer mind to critique that it wasn't what you wanted. I hope you two find a way to remedy this but please don't think that she "laughed off" your request and her failings.

jackie_O · Dec 21, 2013

SexyStephXS said:
You say that you used to be a cam girl so I hope that you remember how busy and stressful our lives can get. Sometimes you just fall behind on things or get involved in a video and realize that you just can't handle it. I think many of us have made a custom that isn't quite what you'd expected it to be or not on time and stressed and stressed about it. There's just often no repercussions because the party that is going to watch and enjoy the video is the one that receives it rather than someone who is not aroused by it so has a clearer mind to critique that it wasn't what you wanted. I hope you two find a way to remedy this but please don't think that she "laughed off" your request and her failings.

You are probably right. Everyone kind of expresses those things differently. It felt very much like it was a laugh off because there was no apology or any attempt to discuss how I might feel about it like "3 minutes was all I could do, so sorry!" or a "It was only three minutes I hope that's okay." Which is what I would have done.

BUT, this might be the first time she's ever not been able to deliver what was asked for and she didn't know how to handle that so just threw it out there and hoped it would be okay.

And I can definitely understand that, especially if she hasn't been doing this too long. Thanks for the perspective.

AllisonWilder · Dec 22, 2013

SexyStephXS said:
jackie_O said:

AllisonWilder said:

I would tell her exactly what you told us. You obviously won't get the video on time, but she might be able to fix it so that you get a video closer to the length that was agreed on.

Click to expand...

I think that is definitely a mature way to do it. I think I should probably respond tomorrow when I'm less bummed and frustrated.

I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt that shit just happens sometimes, but at the same time can't help but feel like that is something I would never do, laugh off giving someone something late and well under what was asked for. I can't help but feel kind of scammed, and I don't want to encourage that kind of thing or lose my own money to it.

I'll definitely ask her if she'll redo it, I want to give her the chance. Then if she wont, I'll talk to her about renegotiating the payment. I mean she did some of what I asked so I don't want to stiff her or anything drastic. My goal at this point is to make sure it all comes out without any kind of drama.

Click to expand...

You say that you used to be a cam girl so I hope that you remember how busy and stressful our lives can get. Sometimes you just fall behind on things or get involved in a video and realize that you just can't handle it. I think many of us have made a custom that isn't quite what you'd expected it to be or not on time and stressed and stressed about it. There's just often no repercussions because the party that is going to watch and enjoy the video is the one that receives it rather than someone who is not aroused by it so has a clearer mind to critique that it wasn't what you wanted. I hope you two find a way to remedy this but please don't think that she "laughed off" your request and her failings.

I can totally see where you're coming from here because I often feel stressed about customs and have personally delivered content that wasn't exactly what was requested (but with a sincere apology and usually a little something extra to make up the difference), but I feel like on a site like ELM where you don't actually get the money until you've delivered the content you could just cancel the custom order if you feel like you're in over your head, don't have enough time, etc. The entire video that was delivered was the length of just the talking intro that was agreed upon and it seems pretty silly to think that it would be okay to deliver that without at least some form of apology or explanation about the length or lateness.

Alisa · Dec 22, 2013

:twocents-02cents:
I think the way the model handled the situation is unprofessional and if you agreed on the video beforehand she should deliver it as agreed or return the money.
The excuses about it being stressful are just lame. If you take camming as a job then act like it. When I order 5 pizzas at 2 pm (just happened), I expect all 5 of them at exactly 2 pm, not just 3 pizzas at 6 pm. And If the delivery company tries telling me it was stressful and they overestimated their ability to deliver as promised, they are not getting my money.
I have no idea why it would be different with camming and delivering videos. Since she didn't contact you prior to sending the video, telling you she cannot make it as you ordered, and you didn't agree to any of that, you are free to ask for the complete video with no extra charge or to cancel the deal in a polite way.
:twocents-02cents:

Gen · Dec 22, 2013

I agree with Eve. I have been in the position of agreeing to us toms that I later couldn't (or didn't want to) do, but half-assing it and sending it late isn't really excusable in my opinion. Also turning a 13 minute video into a 3 minute one? That's just ridiculous.

I do think it's awesome to be polite and give her the benefit of the doubt, but (in my opinion) that's unacceptable regardless of WHY. Lots of us use Etsy, for example - Etsy sellers often take on too many orders or get stressed but if I ordered a sweater and was sent a scarf (lol), I wouldn't really be that sympathetic because I paid, and the seller made no attempt to say "sorry, I'm trying but this isn't working out".

Again keep being polite & kind about it OP but I'd ask for a longer video or offer just a small amount of credits for what she made, and consider gettin someone else to make a new one.

Ann_Sulu · Dec 22, 2013

Recently I moved, and had a very hard time keeping up with customs. What I generally did was make each somewhat late video longer or if I had a similar video I'd give the member that one as an extra on the side. I can understand being late, as long as it isn't all the time. My only problem with it is if the camgirl says it'll be "x" amount of time each time and is always late, and doesn't compensate for the wait in some way. Also, it amazes me how she didn't even do what you said...I'd definitely send her a message of what you said here.

CallMeWilliam · Dec 22, 2013

EvePhoenix said:
I think the way the model handled the situation is unprofessional and if you agreed on the video beforehand she should deliver it as agreed or return the money.
The excuses about it being stressful are just lame. If you take camming as a job then act like it.

I have no idea why it would be different with camming and delivering videos. Since she didn't contact you prior to sending the video, telling you she cannot make it as you ordered, and you didn't agree to any of that, you are free to ask for the complete video with no extra charge or to cancel the deal in a polite way.

Exactly my thoughts, as other have mentioned talk to her about compensation but gauge your next step from that. If she starts giving you a sob story about being busy with just personal things tell her you are sorry for wasting her time and cancel the payment end of discussion. There are many other cam girls out there that will take your request serious (even if they don't share the same enthusiasm for the fetish) and give you a quality product. Don't feel empathy for her just because you have been in the biz and know how difficult it can be it's not worth your eventual aggravation or another lame video attempt.

:twocents-02cents:

Just Me · Dec 22, 2013

EvePhoenix said:
:twocents-02cents:
I think the way the model handled the situation is unprofessional and if you agreed on the video beforehand she should deliver it as agreed or return the money.
The excuses about it being stressful are just lame. If you take camming as a job then act like it. When I order 5 pizzas at 2 pm (just happened), I expect all 5 of them at exactly 2 pm, not just 3 pizzas at 6 pm. And If the delivery company tries telling me it was stressful and they overestimated their ability to deliver as promised, they are not getting my money.
I have no idea why it would be different with camming and delivering videos. Since she didn't contact you prior to sending the video, telling you she cannot make it as you ordered, and you didn't agree to any of that, you are free to ask for the complete video with no extra charge or to cancel the deal in a polite way.
:twocents-02cents:

Yes. Exactly. I am very happy a model was the first one to say this. It was the first thing I thought when reading the OP and few other posts in this thread. Good advice was given on how to handle this particular situation. Be polite and explain again what was agreed upon, if they are not able to meet those obligations you should cancel.

I am not very familiar with ELM. I am assuming there is no social interaction going on there, so it is not like MFC or some other camming sites where you might have a relationship with the model. How would you handle not getting what you asked for in those situations?

Starling · Dec 24, 2013

SexyStephXS said:
jackie_O said:

AllisonWilder said:

I would tell her exactly what you told us. You obviously won't get the video on time, but she might be able to fix it so that you get a video closer to the length that was agreed on.

Click to expand...

I think that is definitely a mature way to do it. I think I should probably respond tomorrow when I'm less bummed and frustrated.

I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt that shit just happens sometimes, but at the same time can't help but feel like that is something I would never do, laugh off giving someone something late and well under what was asked for. I can't help but feel kind of scammed, and I don't want to encourage that kind of thing or lose my own money to it.

I'll definitely ask her if she'll redo it, I want to give her the chance. Then if she wont, I'll talk to her about renegotiating the payment. I mean she did some of what I asked so I don't want to stiff her or anything drastic. My goal at this point is to make sure it all comes out without any kind of drama.

Click to expand...

You say that you used to be a cam girl so I hope that you remember how busy and stressful our lives can get. Sometimes you just fall behind on things or get involved in a video and realize that you just can't handle it. I think many of us have made a custom that isn't quite what you'd expected it to be or not on time and stressed and stressed about it. There's just often no repercussions because the party that is going to watch and enjoy the video is the one that receives it rather than someone who is not aroused by it so has a clearer mind to critique that it wasn't what you wanted. I hope you two find a way to remedy this but please don't think that she "laughed off" your request and her failings.

There's a HUGE difference between not being able to quite fulfill a customer's expectations due to stress and life stuff, and just not delivering what a customer has paid for. $50 for 3 minutes is absolutely absurd, and especially without any note explaining the reason it wasn't completed as originally discussed, I think it's tantamount to theft, and she should certainly cancel the payment if she isn't given the product she paid for and the camgirl doesn't respond in a professional manner.

Jillybean · Dec 24, 2013

The only way I'd be giving her the benefit of the doubt is if the video cuts off abruptly. That could mean it messed up while encoding and she didn't check it or something.

Otherwise, I would ask her to work it out. She should redo the clip, and make it the proper length of time. Or you should politely cancel the transaction, and move on!

I have taken on a tickling exclusive on MGF once. I can say it was INSANELY hard to feel interesting after only one minute in. I felt like I'd exhausted the tickling conversation I could come up with, and stretching that to five minutes felt impossible. Of course, you just gotta do it. I had to film that video a few more times before I felt confident that it was interesting the whole way through, lol!

So I wonder if something similar happened here. :lol: I really hope she's able to make it right for you!

JessieWolfe · Dec 25, 2013

I didn't read the whole post, since I am mildly intoxicated :lol:
buuut
The times I had fallen behind on a custom video, I kept up through e-mail explaining my situation. BG videos are hard to get around to when you have a toddler running around.
I apologised and sent him some other videos to keep him *ahem* busy while I worked on cranking out his custom.

Then I made sure I had enough time to get his 25 minute video made.
When I sent it, I appologised again for it taking so long, and if there was anything wrong with the video I could sell this one and make him a new one.

He was satisfied and was grateful I kept in touch throughout the process.

Since you are unsatisfied, I think you have the full right to either not pay full for the 3 minute video, especially since you were expecting toe be paying for over 3 times the time. Or get a new video that is exactly what you asked for.

Just my two cents. Sometimes time gets rough and busy, but 10 minutes isn't that long for a video :-/ and to knock that down to 3 minutes and expect the customer to pay the same amount is a little confusing to me.

jackie_O · Dec 30, 2013

Thanks for all the advice guys! I'm glad I wasn't being overbearing in being upset!

As an update, I told her that I just couldn't see paying in full for what I got, and would she consider redoing it for the full amount. She said she could try that. We didn't agree on a day for the new one to be delivered, but I haven't heard back in the 8 days its been now.

But at this point I figure if I don't hear back it's just hurting her, because the average length of time it takes to deliver something shows up on a girl's profile.

*Shrug* I'll ping her again here soon. If I still don't hear anything, I'll finally cancel the payment.

Starling · Jan 3, 2014

jackie_O said:
Thanks for all the advice guys! I'm glad I wasn't being overbearing in being upset!

As an update, I told her that I just couldn't see paying in full for what I got, and would she consider redoing it for the full amount. She said she could try that. We didn't agree on a day for the new one to be delivered, but I haven't heard back in the 8 days its been now.

But at this point I figure if I don't hear back it's just hurting her, because the average length of time it takes to deliver something shows up on a girl's profile.

*Shrug* I'll ping her again here soon. If I still don't hear anything, I'll finally cancel the payment.

Honestly, if she just said she'd "consider redoing it" without an apology or explanation as to why she didn't provide the correct product the first time, I'd cancel the payment and find someone else to do it properly.

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How to handle not getting what I asked for?

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