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Bad Dates
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Hmmm, this wasn't exactly a date but I feel compelled to post it anyway...
So, a few years ago I was super into marijuana legalization and decided to attend a local NORML meeting. The meeting was inside a head shop and they sold super cool pieces so I took a look around. While I was looking some guy appears beside me and decides to chat me up. Blah blah blah, I can't even remember what was said but I do remember being mildly interested at best. Suddenly he decides to ask me to take a walk outside. I just flat out wasn't threatened by this guy so I agreed to take a breather outside with him before the meeting starts. We're not outside for a single minute before he turns to me and says, "Do you believe in love at first sight?" No joke. Someone said that and meant it seriously. I had to let him down as gently as I could... No, I do not believe in love at first sight, sorry dude. But wait! That's not all! The meeting went on as would be expected, and lo n' behold we got nothing real done. Blah blah blah, people socialize with each other after the meeting, and my group of friends decide to go to another friend's house. I thought I was free but I was so wrong. Uninvited and unexpected, Insta-love guy shows up at friend's house and decides to chill with us. I'm moderately creeped out at this point. Luckily it didn't get too much worse after that. I think the creepiness came to a head when we were sitting in our uhm, circle. He somehow (gee I wonder) ended up sitting beside me. No one.. really wanted to talk to him because, well, he was that weird dude that showed up uninvited at someone's apartment... Anyway, he turns to me and I shit you not, gestures cat claws towards me and goes, "Mrrow!" Like, seriously. We got out shortly after that. Come to find out, he stayed the night without them knowing and ravaged their cabinets in the morning... then popped in a movie like it was all hunky dorry and he was totes welcome to hang out all day or something.
So, not quite a date. I don't really do dates. But it was something memorable and strange, at least!
So, a few years ago I was super into marijuana legalization and decided to attend a local NORML meeting. The meeting was inside a head shop and they sold super cool pieces so I took a look around. While I was looking some guy appears beside me and decides to chat me up. Blah blah blah, I can't even remember what was said but I do remember being mildly interested at best. Suddenly he decides to ask me to take a walk outside. I just flat out wasn't threatened by this guy so I agreed to take a breather outside with him before the meeting starts. We're not outside for a single minute before he turns to me and says, "Do you believe in love at first sight?" No joke. Someone said that and meant it seriously. I had to let him down as gently as I could... No, I do not believe in love at first sight, sorry dude. But wait! That's not all! The meeting went on as would be expected, and lo n' behold we got nothing real done. Blah blah blah, people socialize with each other after the meeting, and my group of friends decide to go to another friend's house. I thought I was free but I was so wrong. Uninvited and unexpected, Insta-love guy shows up at friend's house and decides to chill with us. I'm moderately creeped out at this point. Luckily it didn't get too much worse after that. I think the creepiness came to a head when we were sitting in our uhm, circle. He somehow (gee I wonder) ended up sitting beside me. No one.. really wanted to talk to him because, well, he was that weird dude that showed up uninvited at someone's apartment... Anyway, he turns to me and I shit you not, gestures cat claws towards me and goes, "Mrrow!" Like, seriously. We got out shortly after that. Come to find out, he stayed the night without them knowing and ravaged their cabinets in the morning... then popped in a movie like it was all hunky dorry and he was totes welcome to hang out all day or something.
So, not quite a date. I don't really do dates. But it was something memorable and strange, at least!
I think I know that guy!
About 6 years ago I went out downtown with some new friends I made through other friends. I wound up following them to a near by campus, where I knew no one and found out neither did they. One of them opened up with the line to a clearly intoxicated girl "Want to come back to my place? I have alcohol." which rubbed me the wrong way immediately. She said no, that was done drinking for the night- but he wouldn't leave her alone. I was sobering up quick.
A group of her friends showed up and she never looked more happy but when she walked up to them, he followed. The further I watched this the creepier I felt just being there. They walked away as a group and he followed, I told his friend "You're his friend so you can stay with him if you want, but I'm going to walk back to the apartment." The apartment was about 5 miles away and I was not the one that drove, but I needed to do anything to get away from that whole situation.
As for bad dates- nothing worth remembering. Just bad break ups.
About 6 years ago I went out downtown with some new friends I made through other friends. I wound up following them to a near by campus, where I knew no one and found out neither did they. One of them opened up with the line to a clearly intoxicated girl "Want to come back to my place? I have alcohol." which rubbed me the wrong way immediately. She said no, that was done drinking for the night- but he wouldn't leave her alone. I was sobering up quick.
A group of her friends showed up and she never looked more happy but when she walked up to them, he followed. The further I watched this the creepier I felt just being there. They walked away as a group and he followed, I told his friend "You're his friend so you can stay with him if you want, but I'm going to walk back to the apartment." The apartment was about 5 miles away and I was not the one that drove, but I needed to do anything to get away from that whole situation.
As for bad dates- nothing worth remembering. Just bad break ups.
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Wow, fuckin' creeps yo. I hate creepy creeps!
I have never really been on a 'date' date, but there was one time when Rooster and I had just started going steady and everything was official. We lived in Vegas and when you're under 18 there's not much to do (Nothing really fun at least until you're 21) so we would go wander around in the desert lots that would become houses at the end of the summer.
he took me to this one really big trench, and we found an old shack and tried to get each other to go inside and see but we were each too chicken shit to do it. Then we start walking back, and halfway back the sun was setting over the mountains and it was just so nice and perfect.
So we head home 'cause mom's on her way to pick me up from his place, and as we're coming back to the grocery store where we first started walking in the desert, we realize we're running late and start to book it home. Which caused me to trip at the top of a huge-ass dirt and rock hill. So my brand new boyfriend who I was entirely smitten with watched me tumble down in my little brown skirt and striped socks like a stupid dirty ragdoll.
I got home after having a nice day and keeping myself pretty clean only to have my mom ask why it looked like I got assaulted by a rock monster. She thought Rooster beat me up or something
I have never really been on a 'date' date, but there was one time when Rooster and I had just started going steady and everything was official. We lived in Vegas and when you're under 18 there's not much to do (Nothing really fun at least until you're 21) so we would go wander around in the desert lots that would become houses at the end of the summer.
he took me to this one really big trench, and we found an old shack and tried to get each other to go inside and see but we were each too chicken shit to do it. Then we start walking back, and halfway back the sun was setting over the mountains and it was just so nice and perfect.
So we head home 'cause mom's on her way to pick me up from his place, and as we're coming back to the grocery store where we first started walking in the desert, we realize we're running late and start to book it home. Which caused me to trip at the top of a huge-ass dirt and rock hill. So my brand new boyfriend who I was entirely smitten with watched me tumble down in my little brown skirt and striped socks like a stupid dirty ragdoll.
I got home after having a nice day and keeping myself pretty clean only to have my mom ask why it looked like I got assaulted by a rock monster. She thought Rooster beat me up or something
Getting plied with long island iced teas on an empty stomach when I was 20. Say no more. :?
Mayaaaaa said:
Nuff said. ._. I had a similar experience when I worked in a compassion club only it was all the time. I worked with a lady who was super afraid of men and felt like everything was a come on so eventually, we started trading off serving the creeps where she'd serve the awesome members and I'd serve the lewd creeps. Apparently if you work in a compassion club and are a lady you are also an escourt... let me repeat, I'm not going to suck your dick because you offer to buy me two grams of weed out of your ounce. *Stab stab stab at thee*
Marijuana culture is so male dominated and I have a lot of theories and feels about it. Most of it is spin off badness from prohibition. Marijuana activism burrrrned me and now I'm not doing it anymore. I suspect I'm not the only lady to experience it this way.
To an actual date? I've really never been on dates and only with people I'm already infatuated with. Never had a bad date.
Oh.. Oh! I have another one! You guys might enjoy this one too, it's more date-y and a total fail on my part.
So maybe a year ago or so I went to a bar with one of my older lady friends (who's a hoot, by the way) and not to go on about it, SHE basically asked one of the bartenders for his number for ME. Right, you can tell this is going somewhere awkward. So I talk to him a bit via text and he tells me I should come in while he's working to have a few drinks and chill out. So I get all dolled up and ready to go, and when I get there it turns out to be his day off. I think this was a misunderstanding on my part, not his. I hope. Anyway, so I'm feeling like a total fucking weirdo just sitting at the bar drinking my long island iced tea... When up comes this totally gorgeous man beside me. Oh and we talk and oh it was wonderful. We had a few things in common and he lead an incredibly interesting life. And we talk and we talk... my long island is gone... And I had casually mentioned I enjoyed smoking pot (are you seeing a common factor, here?). So he says cool, I'm supposed to get some! We can go smoke in my car! His car, by the way, is super cool and awesome and he paid for it himself and everything. Needless to say I'm smitten. We wait forever but finally the bud comes in and we go out to the car. I'm feeling good, our conversation is getting deeper and it turns out we have a lot of the same passions and ideas about the world. Then we smoke. This is where it all goes downhill, and fast. I don't know if I just forgot that pot really fucks you up after you've been drinking, or if I was just so caught up in the moment or WHAT, but SUDDENLY my head isn't spinning, it's fucking falling. I can't keep my eyes open and it's an effort for me to talk. I'm as sick as a dog. He asks if I'm okay. Instead of just explaining to him that the pot tipped me over I chose to say, in the most whimpery pathetic voice, "I need to call my mom." And instantly I can feel this guy thinking, "Oh shit. Oh shit. What's going on? Her mom is going to think I drugged her!" So I called my "mom" (my older lady friend) and had her come pick me up in the bar parking lot. Dude left before she got there and I can't say that I blame him. And as he walked away, so too did my one chance at true love. Sigh. I'm sorry Travis! You can come Circus De Soleil my life any day!
So maybe a year ago or so I went to a bar with one of my older lady friends (who's a hoot, by the way) and not to go on about it, SHE basically asked one of the bartenders for his number for ME. Right, you can tell this is going somewhere awkward. So I talk to him a bit via text and he tells me I should come in while he's working to have a few drinks and chill out. So I get all dolled up and ready to go, and when I get there it turns out to be his day off. I think this was a misunderstanding on my part, not his. I hope. Anyway, so I'm feeling like a total fucking weirdo just sitting at the bar drinking my long island iced tea... When up comes this totally gorgeous man beside me. Oh and we talk and oh it was wonderful. We had a few things in common and he lead an incredibly interesting life. And we talk and we talk... my long island is gone... And I had casually mentioned I enjoyed smoking pot (are you seeing a common factor, here?). So he says cool, I'm supposed to get some! We can go smoke in my car! His car, by the way, is super cool and awesome and he paid for it himself and everything. Needless to say I'm smitten. We wait forever but finally the bud comes in and we go out to the car. I'm feeling good, our conversation is getting deeper and it turns out we have a lot of the same passions and ideas about the world. Then we smoke. This is where it all goes downhill, and fast. I don't know if I just forgot that pot really fucks you up after you've been drinking, or if I was just so caught up in the moment or WHAT, but SUDDENLY my head isn't spinning, it's fucking falling. I can't keep my eyes open and it's an effort for me to talk. I'm as sick as a dog. He asks if I'm okay. Instead of just explaining to him that the pot tipped me over I chose to say, in the most whimpery pathetic voice, "I need to call my mom." And instantly I can feel this guy thinking, "Oh shit. Oh shit. What's going on? Her mom is going to think I drugged her!" So I called my "mom" (my older lady friend) and had her come pick me up in the bar parking lot. Dude left before she got there and I can't say that I blame him. And as he walked away, so too did my one chance at true love. Sigh. I'm sorry Travis! You can come Circus De Soleil my life any day!
welllll i guess i should throw in my little story here.
now i'm not one for what most people would call "dating" you know, the traditional dinner and a movie type of thing. i have always preferred a more organic interaction. but back in my younger days i had a double handful of old school type dates. for the most part they went as well as can be expected. the ones that went bad ended real damn fast. as in after the first racist/idiotic/conspiracy theorist type of comment i paid for the evening and broke the hell out like i had the chicken pox.
but there was this one time..... it wasnt actually a bad date at all. it went very well. i had met this gorgeous long legged blonde at a party a friend of mine threw. despite the host telling me that he thought that she really really wasnt my type i figured what the hell, why not. so i ask her out.
bout 3 days later if memory serves saturday rolls around and we meet up at the same house where the party was. (safety first! dont let anyone know where you actually live when you first meet them lol). she hopped in my car and off we went. we did dinner first. it was awesome sauce in a bottle. our senses of humor matched really well, and there was a lot of common interest.
dinner went so well i wanted to extend things so we went to a little dive bar where the owner knew me well enough to let us hog a booth without getting drunk. (i rarely drink, and when i do not much of it) a couple of hours later we've decided that we like each other a lot. she asks me back to her place, and i glady accepted. we retrieved her car and i followed her home.
upstairs in her apartment things got hot and heavy pretty quick. she peeled off her top and let her breasts bounce a little. she pulled me towards the bedroom. clothing left a trail just in case we got lost.
upon the bed we groped and kissed and had all sorts of fun. then i reached my hand into her panties and the fun stopped. for me anyway.
yeah you guessed it. instead of female parts there was a rather engorged male part waiting for me.
now, both before that point, and in later years i played with guys occasionally. not my thing, but ill try anything three or four times. but the surprise factor was way too high for me. while i certainly couldnt fault her for assuming i either knew or wouldnt care (i was the only straight guy at the damn party and didnt make any kind of statement about my preferences), i was sooo not in the mood for that kind of shock lol.
i made my polite goodbyes and rode back to my friend's house to ask him why the hell he didnt warn me. "well i said she wasnt your type" was his response. thus came one of my most enduring rules of dating: never pick up chicks at a gay bar, party or pride march.
now i'm not one for what most people would call "dating" you know, the traditional dinner and a movie type of thing. i have always preferred a more organic interaction. but back in my younger days i had a double handful of old school type dates. for the most part they went as well as can be expected. the ones that went bad ended real damn fast. as in after the first racist/idiotic/conspiracy theorist type of comment i paid for the evening and broke the hell out like i had the chicken pox.
but there was this one time..... it wasnt actually a bad date at all. it went very well. i had met this gorgeous long legged blonde at a party a friend of mine threw. despite the host telling me that he thought that she really really wasnt my type i figured what the hell, why not. so i ask her out.
bout 3 days later if memory serves saturday rolls around and we meet up at the same house where the party was. (safety first! dont let anyone know where you actually live when you first meet them lol). she hopped in my car and off we went. we did dinner first. it was awesome sauce in a bottle. our senses of humor matched really well, and there was a lot of common interest.
dinner went so well i wanted to extend things so we went to a little dive bar where the owner knew me well enough to let us hog a booth without getting drunk. (i rarely drink, and when i do not much of it) a couple of hours later we've decided that we like each other a lot. she asks me back to her place, and i glady accepted. we retrieved her car and i followed her home.
upstairs in her apartment things got hot and heavy pretty quick. she peeled off her top and let her breasts bounce a little. she pulled me towards the bedroom. clothing left a trail just in case we got lost.
upon the bed we groped and kissed and had all sorts of fun. then i reached my hand into her panties and the fun stopped. for me anyway.
yeah you guessed it. instead of female parts there was a rather engorged male part waiting for me.
now, both before that point, and in later years i played with guys occasionally. not my thing, but ill try anything three or four times. but the surprise factor was way too high for me. while i certainly couldnt fault her for assuming i either knew or wouldnt care (i was the only straight guy at the damn party and didnt make any kind of statement about my preferences), i was sooo not in the mood for that kind of shock lol.
i made my polite goodbyes and rode back to my friend's house to ask him why the hell he didnt warn me. "well i said she wasnt your type" was his response. thus came one of my most enduring rules of dating: never pick up chicks at a gay bar, party or pride march.
Since I don't date, I'll tell my moms story. She went out with my karate teacher to a very fancy restarunt. My mom dressed in a fabulous long purple gown. He came in ripped jeans and a bow tie!! Then when they got there she was looking at the menu and he pulled out coupons and said, "so you can get either the steak or lobster." :shock:
I'd sure settle for a bad date that wound up with me eating steak or lobster. Or we just split the two. fun and practical!
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SweepTheLeg said:
Lobsteak = always welcome. That being said, I'd be physically incapable of putting up with that threshold of creepitude - my stomach, esophagus, and, uh, anus would immediately seal shut indefinitely. >.<
Anyway, I've had so few romantically-oriented date-thingies that I don't have much of a pool to select from, and I haven't stumbled across anything terrible...w-wait...
MAYBE I'M THE BAD DATE.
A bunch of years ago I met a girl at a grocery store, got her number, we chatted a bit. I asked her out.
I was 24 at the time I believe.
Anyway, so I offer to pick her up but she insists she'll just meet me so I don't have to drive all the way across town. So I'm sitting outside the theater when she arrives. She drives the car up but isn't alone, she gets out, the passenger moves to the driver's seat and drives the car away. Weird, but I didn't think much of it.
We walk to the theater, the movie was rated R so the box office chick asks for ID's, which didn't bother me because I've always looked super young anyway. But the girl I'm with says she doesn't have ID.
I ask her why she doesn't have ID and her reply was "I only have my temporary driver's license (which in California is a piece of paper with no picture on it), I just took my test last week."
....
So I follow up with.. "Wait... how old are you?"
She says "16. Why how old are you?"
Me: "24"
We both share an awkward moment of silence.
Me: "I should probably take you home now."
Her: "... yeah probably"
It was an odd meeting because judging solely on looks I would have guessed she was 21 or 22. And judging by my looks she probably thought I was 18 or 19.
Good times
I was 24 at the time I believe.
Anyway, so I offer to pick her up but she insists she'll just meet me so I don't have to drive all the way across town. So I'm sitting outside the theater when she arrives. She drives the car up but isn't alone, she gets out, the passenger moves to the driver's seat and drives the car away. Weird, but I didn't think much of it.
We walk to the theater, the movie was rated R so the box office chick asks for ID's, which didn't bother me because I've always looked super young anyway. But the girl I'm with says she doesn't have ID.
I ask her why she doesn't have ID and her reply was "I only have my temporary driver's license (which in California is a piece of paper with no picture on it), I just took my test last week."
....
So I follow up with.. "Wait... how old are you?"
She says "16. Why how old are you?"
Me: "24"
We both share an awkward moment of silence.
Me: "I should probably take you home now."
Her: "... yeah probably"
It was an odd meeting because judging solely on looks I would have guessed she was 21 or 22. And judging by my looks she probably thought I was 18 or 19.
Good times
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I've had similar with the teenaged girl thing. Wasn't a date but a girl in a club was kind of throwing herself at me (which is notable in and of itself - it doesn't happen often :?) and then someone told me she was only just 16 (I was 26 at the time) and yeah... had it happened a few weeks earlier I would have been flirting with the sex offender's list :?
PlayboyMegan said:
Yeah!! Fuck the system!!
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Went on a date with a girl a few months back. She was a cutie, and I thought we'd hit it off. I was smitten, oh so smitten. Biting my lip and batting my lashes like a hussy. Well, we got bored of the bar we were in, so we decide to go to a club (yay dancing!). Well, as we were standing there making jokes about how terrible the music was, this other girl slides up. She then steps between the two of us, and asks my date to dance. Cue me standing there, holding everyone's drinks as they grind on the dance floor.
Before they take off together she says goodbye, and that we should totally be friends... and I never see or hear from her again.
:violin: :crybaby:
A few years ago I went on this date with a friend of a friend, it was a set up. He was a friendly sort of shy nerd guy. Sort of goofy in that way that makes me want to tie people up and do *~things~* to them. I'd meet him a few times at parties, but never interacted with him sober. We do the whole dinner and a movie thing...or that was the plan. Shortly after we sit down for he the movie he excuses himself...and doesn't come back until the very end of the movie. I was sitting there in the dark convinced I had just been ditched and had no clue why. Apparently he was soo nervous he had to go hide in the bathroom.
We go to the restaurant and lo and behold some mutual friends are there, we end up joining them... and for me at least, that was then end of the date. He could barely look or speak to me when sober. I was that scary y'all. I wasn't even wearing a push up bra.
Before they take off together she says goodbye, and that we should totally be friends... and I never see or hear from her again.
:violin: :crybaby:
A few years ago I went on this date with a friend of a friend, it was a set up. He was a friendly sort of shy nerd guy. Sort of goofy in that way that makes me want to tie people up and do *~things~* to them. I'd meet him a few times at parties, but never interacted with him sober. We do the whole dinner and a movie thing...or that was the plan. Shortly after we sit down for he the movie he excuses himself...and doesn't come back until the very end of the movie. I was sitting there in the dark convinced I had just been ditched and had no clue why. Apparently he was soo nervous he had to go hide in the bathroom.
We go to the restaurant and lo and behold some mutual friends are there, we end up joining them... and for me at least, that was then end of the date. He could barely look or speak to me when sober. I was that scary y'all. I wasn't even wearing a push up bra.
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I have a tendency to talk a lot when I'm nervous...
Talking while eating sometimes ends in food flying out of your mouth into the other persons face.
Talking while eating sometimes ends in food flying out of your mouth into the other persons face.
hmmm one of the worst dates I ever went on.... I've got quite a few bad date stories but this'll be the worst one.
Years ago I was bored and signed up to sugardaddie.com as a laugh. I went though about a week of deciding to actually meet people and rather rashly agreed to this guy who I hadn't really spoken to or seen his profile. Upon re looking at his profile he looked a little weird... I tried to cancel the date but he was so excited about it I just didn't have the heart. So... we arranged to meet up in a city which he said he lived/worked in which was nearby to me. I asked him one thing which was to arrange the restaurant we were to have a meal in, I told him I hated wandering around choosing where to eat.
So, I turn up and meet him ridiculously hungover, wishing I were somewhere else, and yes, he looked pretty weird, and he talked absolutely non stop. Which wasn't too bad as all I had to do was nod along and stare into space. He hadn't arranged a restaurant so we did end up wondering around, no idea where to go. Turned out he'd travelled several hours to get to this place, he didn't even live or work near there. Eventually we ended up just standing by the river, him rabbiting on at me. Me imagining I was alone, staring at the river pretending I was in silence instead. He continued for bloody ages until I eventually said "fuck it, I need to eat." We ended up going to somewhere which is pretty much a wetherspoons (very cheap chain pub). I sneaked off, tried calling everyone I knew who lived in that town. When we both went to the train station I physically ran away from him as fast as possible. He texted me straight after telling me what a great time he'd had.
Wasn't a freaky or a nasty date... but... it still stands as my worst date ever. He was boring, unattractive, didn't organise anything, ended up taking me to the shittest, cheapest pub ever for food, and yeah, generally was as shit as you can get. To me there are a fucking lot of bad things in the world that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Personally though... My worst nightmare is being completely and utterly bored for that long, knowing I'm totally wasting my time and genuinely wishing to be anywhere else with anyone else.
Years ago I was bored and signed up to sugardaddie.com as a laugh. I went though about a week of deciding to actually meet people and rather rashly agreed to this guy who I hadn't really spoken to or seen his profile. Upon re looking at his profile he looked a little weird... I tried to cancel the date but he was so excited about it I just didn't have the heart. So... we arranged to meet up in a city which he said he lived/worked in which was nearby to me. I asked him one thing which was to arrange the restaurant we were to have a meal in, I told him I hated wandering around choosing where to eat.
So, I turn up and meet him ridiculously hungover, wishing I were somewhere else, and yes, he looked pretty weird, and he talked absolutely non stop. Which wasn't too bad as all I had to do was nod along and stare into space. He hadn't arranged a restaurant so we did end up wondering around, no idea where to go. Turned out he'd travelled several hours to get to this place, he didn't even live or work near there. Eventually we ended up just standing by the river, him rabbiting on at me. Me imagining I was alone, staring at the river pretending I was in silence instead. He continued for bloody ages until I eventually said "fuck it, I need to eat." We ended up going to somewhere which is pretty much a wetherspoons (very cheap chain pub). I sneaked off, tried calling everyone I knew who lived in that town. When we both went to the train station I physically ran away from him as fast as possible. He texted me straight after telling me what a great time he'd had.
Wasn't a freaky or a nasty date... but... it still stands as my worst date ever. He was boring, unattractive, didn't organise anything, ended up taking me to the shittest, cheapest pub ever for food, and yeah, generally was as shit as you can get. To me there are a fucking lot of bad things in the world that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Personally though... My worst nightmare is being completely and utterly bored for that long, knowing I'm totally wasting my time and genuinely wishing to be anywhere else with anyone else.
JoleneBrody said:
Excuse me? I love your gift of gab, you were easy to understand between "noms", as for the whole projectile Pad Kee Mao incident....I just thought your were just trying to be nice, and share with me! :lol:
Overall, I give the date a solid 4 out 5 stars. (Pssst...though it woulda been nice for a handy in the parking lot, afterwards!) :whistle:
Thank you! I'm here all week! Tip your server! Try the buffet!
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You know the worst part? IT WAS DENNYS! I SPIT DENNYS ON SOMEONE!Meoff_69 said:
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I have a LOT of these since I mostly use dating sites to meet people (real life is scary, OK?!). Here's one that was sort of weird.
I had plans on the 4th of July to hang out with this guy. He seemed cool, from his pictures he looked like a punk dude (which is my type) and we had a few things in common. I lived in the area at the time, so we planned to meet-up downtown around 7. Around 8 he texts me saying that he missed his bus and that's he's just leaving his area, which is kind of lame but whatever, I'm not the most on-time person either. Around 9 he's on the bus and is heading my way. Around 10 he can't seem to find the intersection we decided on. He calls me and I spend 30 minutes trying to help him find my place.
Turns out he was nervous about our date and took some xanax beforehand. Problem is, he took wayyy too much and could hardly function. Oh and he turned out to be a dirty hippie and looked completely different from his photos. And those things that we had in common? Let's just say that when someone SAYS they like something doesn't mean shit. I learned that the hard way from "dude who had a picture of himself as Spock but had never seen Star Trek" several years back.
So, it was pretty obvious that he was pretty fucked up, and it was awkward. We were planning on going out to watch the fireworks but just ended up hanging out at my place smoking weed because he was fucked up. He gave me a pipe that he made, which was cool.
At some point the buses aren't running anymore, so we both pass out on my bed in a 100% unsexual manner after a pretty unenthralling night. The next day I mention having to buy hairdye as a way to get him to leave (and I really did have to buy some) so he offers to come with me! Joy! While we're on the streets these gutterpunks ask me if they can use my shower and I agree in exchange for them buzzing the sides of my head since I had a mohawk at the time. That was actually a pretty good deal. So we're at my place hanging out and these two gutterpunks are fucking in my shower and we can hear them and we're just sitting there awkwardly. After they get out I tell everyone I need to kick them out so I can work. That's the problem with fucking hippies; THEY NEVER LEAVE. EVER. I finally got them all out though so I could get on cam.
THAT DATE ENDED UP LASTING 24 HOURS.
Strange ending to this story; saw the gutterpunks a few months later and the chick was pregnant. I wonder if she conceived in my shower?
I had plans on the 4th of July to hang out with this guy. He seemed cool, from his pictures he looked like a punk dude (which is my type) and we had a few things in common. I lived in the area at the time, so we planned to meet-up downtown around 7. Around 8 he texts me saying that he missed his bus and that's he's just leaving his area, which is kind of lame but whatever, I'm not the most on-time person either. Around 9 he's on the bus and is heading my way. Around 10 he can't seem to find the intersection we decided on. He calls me and I spend 30 minutes trying to help him find my place.
Turns out he was nervous about our date and took some xanax beforehand. Problem is, he took wayyy too much and could hardly function. Oh and he turned out to be a dirty hippie and looked completely different from his photos. And those things that we had in common? Let's just say that when someone SAYS they like something doesn't mean shit. I learned that the hard way from "dude who had a picture of himself as Spock but had never seen Star Trek" several years back.
So, it was pretty obvious that he was pretty fucked up, and it was awkward. We were planning on going out to watch the fireworks but just ended up hanging out at my place smoking weed because he was fucked up. He gave me a pipe that he made, which was cool.
At some point the buses aren't running anymore, so we both pass out on my bed in a 100% unsexual manner after a pretty unenthralling night. The next day I mention having to buy hairdye as a way to get him to leave (and I really did have to buy some) so he offers to come with me! Joy! While we're on the streets these gutterpunks ask me if they can use my shower and I agree in exchange for them buzzing the sides of my head since I had a mohawk at the time. That was actually a pretty good deal. So we're at my place hanging out and these two gutterpunks are fucking in my shower and we can hear them and we're just sitting there awkwardly. After they get out I tell everyone I need to kick them out so I can work. That's the problem with fucking hippies; THEY NEVER LEAVE. EVER. I finally got them all out though so I could get on cam.
THAT DATE ENDED UP LASTING 24 HOURS.
Strange ending to this story; saw the gutterpunks a few months later and the chick was pregnant. I wonder if she conceived in my shower?
VeronicaChaos
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OH MAN I JUST REMEMBERED. At some point I'll tell the story about the vampire I met in St. Louis.
oh gods! kunra's story reminded me of a baaaad experience or two of my own! not really a date story per se, though it was a bit of a blind date set up gone wrong.
why is it that im completely turned off by the idea of dating/sex/whatever intimacy with a teenager, but they love to hit on me? wtf? im big, hairy, and been balding since my mid 20s. i have lost track of the number of 14-17 year olds that have made moves on me. now when i was 14-17 i couldnt get any kind of play at all from girls my own age noooooo. then it was always the milfs i couldnt get rid of lol.
about 4 years ago one of my old clients from my CNA days called me up. we were friends after the case was done since he as a rehab patient not chronic care. he had two teenage daughters and i became uncle mike. (no uncles in their blood family, only one aunt, so it was awesome all around).
anyway, he had to go into the hospital for an angioplasty and needed someone to ride herd over them for a week or so. he had a list of approved visitors, and he knew that i was stricter about their behavior than he was anyway so no biggie. well, the eldest daughter had permission for a small get together. about 5 other kids were supposed to be coming and one maybe.
no biggie, everything was already set up and they others had been warned i was a dick about rules. no booze, no sex, no fights, no drugs, and i controlled the music volume. no big deal at all. we had done this several times before when their dad was out of town on a sales trip and never a problem.
i get there and settle in, catch up and all. the party was set for two days after that on a friday night. thursday evening rolls around and the girls ask permission to have an extra guest. im like, no way jose. not on my watch. they said, no you dont understand, she just wants to meet you. apparently they had been talking about the situation with their group of friends on the drive home from school and the convo got onto the "cool uncle" they had. i just asked if she was on the list my buddy gave me. of course she wasnt so i still said no. no more kids allowed.
the oldest cajoled me "but mike, she isnt a kid". the younger of the two at an ancient age of 14 says "and neither are we asshole" (which is normal when we did the whole "kid" thing it was an in joke) the eldest ( at a ripe and decrepit 16) says "no shes older, like closer to your age. she was driving us home. (i was 34 at the time). she said you were cute when we showed her your picture.
oh ok i thought, another adult to keep the gaggle of giggle and crazy kids in line. and hey, if i could add in someone interesting that thought i was attractive as well? double wootage. no biggie, so i gave permission.
the party starts up, fun is being had as the guests arrive. then with one new arrival a short, adorable young thing is introduced to me. candy cotton pink lipstick! with glitter! then the eldest daughter tells me this is who they wanted me to meet. i made polite noises and tried to figure out what was going on. i pulled the girls aside and gave them the wtf? speech. i said there was no way that girl was a day over 15, and probably not even that. "she graduated last year!" im like, "so, shes what? 19? that is still way too young for me" they sort of looked at each other. "no, she graduated early"
turns out the young lady was 17. 17!
i played nice though. told them it was okay if she stayed, but they were so going to catch a blast of hell the next day. alas for my politeness! every 20 bloody minutes the young lady would wander into the bedroom i was hiding in between supervision runs and strike up a conversation. having had the full cooperation of my so helpful nieces she knew i was fairly competent in the sciences. and since she was more than just gifted academically the conversation would have been nice in other circumstances.
yeah, 17 is legal in NC. 16 is for that matter. not the point. no way in hell was i going to be alone in a bedroom with a kid! i kept steering her back out to the living room. she kept finding her way back in. after about the 6th time i got a bit more direct and told her that i was not going to be alone with her. she asks why not. i explain my preferences in regards to age (as in actual adult). that was lighting a fuse right there. she launches into how shes smarter than any adult she knows, and how she does just fine at school (college) etc...
i respond that it isnt about her intelligence, or maturity. its about her age only. some things just arent done, not by me anyway.
well i guess her feelings were hurt or something because now she starts in that i dont think shes pretty. polite, gentle mike tries to assure her that she is very pretty, its just that she is young, and looks younger. bad move on my part. of course at 4'5 and all of 80 lbs she was sensitive about looking young. well for certain none of the guys at school had a problem with it! this was shrieked at me of course. "just because my tits are small doesnt mean im a child!"
now im torn all to hell and back. on one hand im trying to reassure her that she is very pretty so as not to hurt her feelings even worse. on the other im freaked out that not only is she way too young, (and more than a bit crazy)but she is now going into detail about her sexual exploits on campus, following up each with "and im not too young for that!"
since the music was up a bit and the walls were thick i had no rescue coming (and how sad is it to need rescuing by a couple of teenage girls you're there to watch over lol?) and she had closed the door when she came in this time and was blocking it at this point.
then, oh joy of joys she decides she is going to assert her womanhood. on me. in her mind the best way to do this was to pull off her shirt and start undoing her pants. even worse, no undies. "you can not tell me i am not sexy as hell!"
wtf people, wtf? wtf was i supposed to do?
what i did was start talking to her like i would an aggressive dog. slow and calm, trying to talk her down and get her to put some damn clothes back on. i did the whole "its not you its me" thing. tried to assure her that as sexy as she was it just isnt my preference. a mental block of sorts... i asked if she had taken psychology courses yet. its just my conditioning to not do this sort of thing.
she lays down an ultimatum. either i kiss her once, for real and prove it, or she walks out of there just like she is. she didnt threaten to accuse me of anything, but she knew damn good and well that every one of the kids out in the other room would assume we had done something. i agreed to her conditions, but told her that as soon as we were done she got dressed, said goodbye and left the house. i guess she was so used to guys not caring that she looked prepubescent (well until the clothes came off anyway. she was developmentally normal for her age and size). she just assumed that with her naked and kissing me i would just give in and do whatever it was she wanted.
she didnt get the response she was hoping for i guess. a few moments of kissing and she relented and left. (was even very polite about it after that).
i did indeed gives the girls holy hell after everyone left. in their mind (or so they said) they thought that she was smart and pretty and that i needed to get laid (though they started out with euphemisms about needing a girlfriend) so they had kept telling her to try again. apparently not only did i seem lonely, but desperate enough to take advantage of someone while i was there to supervise and protect them.
by this time the funny of it had started to show through my stress so i ended up laughing it off. i did however tell them to never, ever ask me if i was seeing anyone ever again lol.
now the worse part is i told the story to a couple of male friends here and there that year. the only one who didnt just look at me like i was an idiot for not (and one guy actually said this) tapping that little ass. hence why the only male friends i have these days are gay.
yeah, she was very pretty. if i had had my paints and a canvas i would have wanted to do a portrait, even tho i suck at those. but really? wtf? how does this type of crap happen to me lol?
why is it that im completely turned off by the idea of dating/sex/whatever intimacy with a teenager, but they love to hit on me? wtf? im big, hairy, and been balding since my mid 20s. i have lost track of the number of 14-17 year olds that have made moves on me. now when i was 14-17 i couldnt get any kind of play at all from girls my own age noooooo. then it was always the milfs i couldnt get rid of lol.
about 4 years ago one of my old clients from my CNA days called me up. we were friends after the case was done since he as a rehab patient not chronic care. he had two teenage daughters and i became uncle mike. (no uncles in their blood family, only one aunt, so it was awesome all around).
anyway, he had to go into the hospital for an angioplasty and needed someone to ride herd over them for a week or so. he had a list of approved visitors, and he knew that i was stricter about their behavior than he was anyway so no biggie. well, the eldest daughter had permission for a small get together. about 5 other kids were supposed to be coming and one maybe.
no biggie, everything was already set up and they others had been warned i was a dick about rules. no booze, no sex, no fights, no drugs, and i controlled the music volume. no big deal at all. we had done this several times before when their dad was out of town on a sales trip and never a problem.
i get there and settle in, catch up and all. the party was set for two days after that on a friday night. thursday evening rolls around and the girls ask permission to have an extra guest. im like, no way jose. not on my watch. they said, no you dont understand, she just wants to meet you. apparently they had been talking about the situation with their group of friends on the drive home from school and the convo got onto the "cool uncle" they had. i just asked if she was on the list my buddy gave me. of course she wasnt so i still said no. no more kids allowed.
the oldest cajoled me "but mike, she isnt a kid". the younger of the two at an ancient age of 14 says "and neither are we asshole" (which is normal when we did the whole "kid" thing it was an in joke) the eldest ( at a ripe and decrepit 16) says "no shes older, like closer to your age. she was driving us home. (i was 34 at the time). she said you were cute when we showed her your picture.
oh ok i thought, another adult to keep the gaggle of giggle and crazy kids in line. and hey, if i could add in someone interesting that thought i was attractive as well? double wootage. no biggie, so i gave permission.
the party starts up, fun is being had as the guests arrive. then with one new arrival a short, adorable young thing is introduced to me. candy cotton pink lipstick! with glitter! then the eldest daughter tells me this is who they wanted me to meet. i made polite noises and tried to figure out what was going on. i pulled the girls aside and gave them the wtf? speech. i said there was no way that girl was a day over 15, and probably not even that. "she graduated last year!" im like, "so, shes what? 19? that is still way too young for me" they sort of looked at each other. "no, she graduated early"
turns out the young lady was 17. 17!
i played nice though. told them it was okay if she stayed, but they were so going to catch a blast of hell the next day. alas for my politeness! every 20 bloody minutes the young lady would wander into the bedroom i was hiding in between supervision runs and strike up a conversation. having had the full cooperation of my so helpful nieces she knew i was fairly competent in the sciences. and since she was more than just gifted academically the conversation would have been nice in other circumstances.
yeah, 17 is legal in NC. 16 is for that matter. not the point. no way in hell was i going to be alone in a bedroom with a kid! i kept steering her back out to the living room. she kept finding her way back in. after about the 6th time i got a bit more direct and told her that i was not going to be alone with her. she asks why not. i explain my preferences in regards to age (as in actual adult). that was lighting a fuse right there. she launches into how shes smarter than any adult she knows, and how she does just fine at school (college) etc...
i respond that it isnt about her intelligence, or maturity. its about her age only. some things just arent done, not by me anyway.
well i guess her feelings were hurt or something because now she starts in that i dont think shes pretty. polite, gentle mike tries to assure her that she is very pretty, its just that she is young, and looks younger. bad move on my part. of course at 4'5 and all of 80 lbs she was sensitive about looking young. well for certain none of the guys at school had a problem with it! this was shrieked at me of course. "just because my tits are small doesnt mean im a child!"
now im torn all to hell and back. on one hand im trying to reassure her that she is very pretty so as not to hurt her feelings even worse. on the other im freaked out that not only is she way too young, (and more than a bit crazy)but she is now going into detail about her sexual exploits on campus, following up each with "and im not too young for that!"
since the music was up a bit and the walls were thick i had no rescue coming (and how sad is it to need rescuing by a couple of teenage girls you're there to watch over lol?) and she had closed the door when she came in this time and was blocking it at this point.
then, oh joy of joys she decides she is going to assert her womanhood. on me. in her mind the best way to do this was to pull off her shirt and start undoing her pants. even worse, no undies. "you can not tell me i am not sexy as hell!"
wtf people, wtf? wtf was i supposed to do?
what i did was start talking to her like i would an aggressive dog. slow and calm, trying to talk her down and get her to put some damn clothes back on. i did the whole "its not you its me" thing. tried to assure her that as sexy as she was it just isnt my preference. a mental block of sorts... i asked if she had taken psychology courses yet. its just my conditioning to not do this sort of thing.
she lays down an ultimatum. either i kiss her once, for real and prove it, or she walks out of there just like she is. she didnt threaten to accuse me of anything, but she knew damn good and well that every one of the kids out in the other room would assume we had done something. i agreed to her conditions, but told her that as soon as we were done she got dressed, said goodbye and left the house. i guess she was so used to guys not caring that she looked prepubescent (well until the clothes came off anyway. she was developmentally normal for her age and size). she just assumed that with her naked and kissing me i would just give in and do whatever it was she wanted.
she didnt get the response she was hoping for i guess. a few moments of kissing and she relented and left. (was even very polite about it after that).
i did indeed gives the girls holy hell after everyone left. in their mind (or so they said) they thought that she was smart and pretty and that i needed to get laid (though they started out with euphemisms about needing a girlfriend) so they had kept telling her to try again. apparently not only did i seem lonely, but desperate enough to take advantage of someone while i was there to supervise and protect them.
by this time the funny of it had started to show through my stress so i ended up laughing it off. i did however tell them to never, ever ask me if i was seeing anyone ever again lol.
now the worse part is i told the story to a couple of male friends here and there that year. the only one who didnt just look at me like i was an idiot for not (and one guy actually said this) tapping that little ass. hence why the only male friends i have these days are gay.
yeah, she was very pretty. if i had had my paints and a canvas i would have wanted to do a portrait, even tho i suck at those. but really? wtf? how does this type of crap happen to me lol?
JoleneBrody said:
When I'm nervous, I unfortunately mastered the ability to make unfunny quips in machine gun like succession (worse than usual) and I think the lady would rather have me spitting part of my grand slam meal at her instead.
It wasn't a date, but I had a bf legit try to convince me he was a werewolf... :shock: I was young, don't judge me. :whistle:
I've been trying to convince them that I am not a werewolf.
VeronicaChaos
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The vampire:
We met on a bdsm website. I was brand new to the scene, freshly single, and the naive age of 19. I met a 28 year old "psy-vamp" photographer with a fake name derived from a famous book who looked pretty hot and I was reading Interview at the time and dressing like Lestat everyday. A match made in heaven.
So, I made the long trek to St. Louis and got to his place. A nice woman answered the door, and a goth kid with bad Doogie Howser hair introduced his mother to me. We went to his room before going out to eat. He awkwardly tried to hide his mail with his real name on it.
Not being familiar with the area, I trusted him to take me to a cool place for food. He took me to Olive Garden, where, as a vegetarian at the time, I had only a salad as an available option. Then we went to the mall. :?
At the mall, he showed me such sights as Hot Topic, Spencers, and the best of all: Underworld, Rise of the Lycans. We watched the horrible movie and he talked about how he wishes everything looked like a gothic castle on the way back to the car.
Back at his place, he assured me that his mother was sleeping and wouldn't bother us in his dungeon. He proceeded to haphazardly equip nipple clamps to me for my first time, and fuck me with the most microscopic of male genital gear I have to this day ever witnessed (and I am not one to give a fuck in this area at all). He took me to the dungeon, did shoddy shibari (Japanese rope bondage) on me, suspended me from a suspension hook so poorly that I couldn't breath (and unsuccessfully tried to adjust it several times), and fingered me so roughly I bled. I found a long blonde hair in the cheap ballgag, when at the time mine was short and red.
At this point it was "getting late" and I had to go. His mother bid me goodbye and I drove home exhausted several hours. The next day I realized my nipples were scabbed from the nipple clamps.
So, in short, a terrible date with a lousy "dom" who had no idea what he was doing, nearly unintentionally choked me, didn't clean his toys, and spent the entire date talking about his superior vampire abilities (at one point he was bragging about how young he looked and showed me his ID with the name covered). I won't deny though; there was a lot of blood and he certainly hadn't aged a day since he was 14.
I'm sorry in advanced if I post in this thread too many times.
We met on a bdsm website. I was brand new to the scene, freshly single, and the naive age of 19. I met a 28 year old "psy-vamp" photographer with a fake name derived from a famous book who looked pretty hot and I was reading Interview at the time and dressing like Lestat everyday. A match made in heaven.
So, I made the long trek to St. Louis and got to his place. A nice woman answered the door, and a goth kid with bad Doogie Howser hair introduced his mother to me. We went to his room before going out to eat. He awkwardly tried to hide his mail with his real name on it.
Not being familiar with the area, I trusted him to take me to a cool place for food. He took me to Olive Garden, where, as a vegetarian at the time, I had only a salad as an available option. Then we went to the mall. :?
At the mall, he showed me such sights as Hot Topic, Spencers, and the best of all: Underworld, Rise of the Lycans. We watched the horrible movie and he talked about how he wishes everything looked like a gothic castle on the way back to the car.
Back at his place, he assured me that his mother was sleeping and wouldn't bother us in his dungeon. He proceeded to haphazardly equip nipple clamps to me for my first time, and fuck me with the most microscopic of male genital gear I have to this day ever witnessed (and I am not one to give a fuck in this area at all). He took me to the dungeon, did shoddy shibari (Japanese rope bondage) on me, suspended me from a suspension hook so poorly that I couldn't breath (and unsuccessfully tried to adjust it several times), and fingered me so roughly I bled. I found a long blonde hair in the cheap ballgag, when at the time mine was short and red.
At this point it was "getting late" and I had to go. His mother bid me goodbye and I drove home exhausted several hours. The next day I realized my nipples were scabbed from the nipple clamps.
So, in short, a terrible date with a lousy "dom" who had no idea what he was doing, nearly unintentionally choked me, didn't clean his toys, and spent the entire date talking about his superior vampire abilities (at one point he was bragging about how young he looked and showed me his ID with the name covered). I won't deny though; there was a lot of blood and he certainly hadn't aged a day since he was 14.
I'm sorry in advanced if I post in this thread too many times.
Thank you for posting in this thread too many times, Veronica. You have suffered, so we don't have to.
I never really put myself out there to have these bad dates. I could look at girls and knew it wasn't going to work before it even started, and girls certainly could look at me and feel the exact same way so it was mutual- let's not waste our time here haha.
I never really put myself out there to have these bad dates. I could look at girls and knew it wasn't going to work before it even started, and girls certainly could look at me and feel the exact same way so it was mutual- let's not waste our time here haha.
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