If I had a diary, it might read something like this:

[Jason314]

Nov 16, 2010

Dear Diary,

the American dollar has strengthened, or the Canadian dollar has weakened by a significant enough margin. This makes it easier for me to not spend my money.

Amber's really tweeted a lot today, which is a great sign. Meanwhile, I can't really think of something worth tweeting again today, and given that I have 4 followers, I feel I have kind of let them all down slightly. Maybe I should type in all caps, but have something useful to say. I wonder if I will be blocked.

On the bus today, I heard a parent struggling to explain the condom ads that were plastered there to a young child. I really wonder where the standards are for public ads like that. And yet, the bus drivers don't seem to take light swearing or loud music through earphones well. Getting off the bus stop, I noticed an ad on the bench for women's underwear. Seriously?

Ah well...

I want to write more but I can't think of anything else that happened today that's worth mentioning.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Nov 17, 2010

Dear Diary,

I went on MFC again today to say hi to Amber. She seems to be doing well. I'm glad that she's taking it easy for now. I don't know why I was expecting a short to medium length stitching on the side of her body. Apparently, she gets holes along her front. Shows how much I know.

As odd as it sounds, I really want to start playing some WoW, so that if anything, I can, at a minimum, understand a popular topic in Amber's chatroom. The thing is I don't have the time or money for the subscription to really get into it. I suppose I can read about WoW. I could throw around some terms and act like I know what I'm talking about, without having to go through the trouble of getting my character (probably a paladin) to level 80.

I have this strange feeling that I should be counting my chat sessions with Amber. I might be close to 100.

Amber told me to sleep good tonight. I just want to sleep well and maybe sleep naughty.

Jason

 

[AmberCutie]

That was my favorite diary post so far.

 

[Jason314]

Nov 24, 2010

Dear Diary,

where have you been hiding? I couldn't find you for quite a long time. I was sure I left you in the same spot as I usually leave you, and I was sure I was checking it constantly, but today you came back -- in the same spot. I wonder if that means if anyone took you and *gasp* read you these past few days. Either that, or you found a way to travel dimensions.

Today, the Canadian dollar is near parity to the US dollar, and yet, I am still holding back from purchasing tokens. True, Amber did say she didn't want me to tip her, but she didn't say that I couldn't buy tokens for future use. I understand the intention, and as much fun as it would be to use a loophole, I better not buy any tokens right now (and besides, with tomorrow being Thanksgiving for the Americans, it could mean a strengthening of the Canadian dollar, so I can really take advantage of the potential parity).

I can spend US$20 on tokens with only a little thought, but when it comes to something like computer games, I struggle with the decision. Go figure. Maybe the act of giving (especially to Amber) totally outweighs my need to play games.

As Dec. 1 draws near, it looks like my plan to surprise Amber may have to be put on hold, thanks to an unexpected but not unusual development. There is still time for me to fix this but the chance is slim. Of course, I could always just send a "Boo!" PM to Amber and just leave it at that, but that is hardly a way to be memorable.

I have nothing else to say, except that I hope I can find you again tomorrow.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Nov 25, 2010

Dear Diary,

the pain in my side has either disappeared or dissipated. To test this out, I decided to do some jumping jacks this morning. I almost hit my hand on a ceiling light. I swear we need some higher ceilings. It would also allow for larger televisions in the room, but that's just a secondary thought.

I started to download the trial version of the MMORPG, but it was so slow. It got stopped partway because the computer decided to reboot itself to do some system update while I was away from the computer, so I figure I should resume the download again tomorrow. I hope today doesn't count toward the limited time I have.

I haven't heard much from Amber today so I can only assume she's celebrating Thanksgiving away from the computer. Maybe she's at the mall or something all day taking advantage of lower prices. Or maybe Jawbs did the turning off the power thing again but then broke something, and thus left them without power. Perhaps she's stuck in a deep concentration yoga pose. I can speculate all I want, I guess.

I should start my holiday shopping, as there's less than a month to go. I'm sure everyone I'm buying for will appreciate three sticks of chewing gum as a present. It would definitely beat out my two sticks from last year by 50%.

Time for bed, then, if I'm going shopping early tomorrow.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Nov 26, 2010

Dear Diary,

I wonder what would happen if people ate tomatoes for Thanksgiving instead of turkeys. We could have a "Tom the Tomato" instead of "Tom the Turkey". Of course, you can't really stuff a tomato with as much, so you could garnish the outside of the tomato with celery or something. If you have any leftovers, you could have a blended drink with those vegetables, instead of having to have turkey soup.

In terms of twitter terminology, I learned about FF today. Apparently, it didn't stand for Friends Forever or Far-fetched Fallacy. That's another mystery cleared up. One of the priorities now for my top 10 mysteries is "Where did the term banhammer come from".

Not much else I want to write about right now.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Nov 28, 2010

Dear Diary,

yes, I did miss yesterday, but only because I came home slightly after midnight and it didn't feel right to write about the day's events with the wrong date at the top. So, moving on to today...

I made myself some cookies today. The batch came out with the perfect consistency and sweetness. Well, at least for what I could tell, anyway. Maybe it's just a bias on my judgment, as other people who ate the cookies didn't really have much to say about it, so either I'm a cookie connoisseur or they are.

Meanwhile, I saw on TV part of a documentary about some person who decided to sell everything that he owned, except for the clothes that he's wearing, I assume, take all the money, use some of it for Las Vegas airfare, and yep, gamble it all on a single spin of the Roulette wheel, wherein he will bet on red or black. Courageous? Reckless? Psychic? I don't really know. Maybe he really wanted to tip Amber a huge amount. I didn't see the end of the documentary because there was a problem with the TV service provider's signal, so maybe I'll just read up about it later.

Where did November go? I mean, there's just two days left, and I don't really feel like I've accomplished as much as I wanted to. You would at least think I'd be able to make that topic on Amber's forum which I wanted to make about a month and a half ago. Maybe I should start thinking about my New Year's resolution. I might be able to find time to write it down if I hurry and figure out what it should be. Learn about old fashioned ways of doing laundry (without the aid of appliances)? Perhaps that would work.

I need to go to bed now because I had a difficult time sleeping the last time I tried, which was, technically, this morning.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Nov 29, 2010

Dear people on these forums,

I think I'll stop my diary posts for now. You have seen about a month's worth of entries, so let me know what you think. I've seen some of your comments but I don't know if you've changed your thoughts since then.

Jason

 

[pyrite1965]

personally I like them. They are funny, interesting, lend insight to ourselves (prems and people in general). Some are happy and others less so, it's a slice of life I enjoy reading.

 

[AmberCutie]

I like the way you write, so unless it's for personal reasons, I'd encourage you to keep them up.

 

[TwistedPair]

They are quite entertaining Jason. I look forward to reading them, even if I can find nothing to comment about. So, you will get no objections from me if you decide to continue. And if you don't at least keep writing somewhere, you seem to have a knack for it.

 

[Jason314]

Nov 30, 2010

Dear Diary,

as November draws to a close, I hope more people notice that there is no November 31. Seriously, sometimes I wonder who does the television commercials where they say "Offer expires November 31." It might be a scam or something. They may have meant to say that it expires at the end of the month, but when they start saying "Offer expires Wednesday, November 31, 2010" I will stay clear.

Then, there are the spam emails I'm already getting from people supposedly from Blizzard, a mere five days after I gave Blizzard my email address. Witnessing such horrible grammar and spelling in the message, I can come to the conclusion that a large company like Blizzard has issues hiring the right person to send emails, or the person doesn't actually work with Blizzard.

Let's see... end of month financial update: still have money. Moving on...

Once December arrives, Amber should be back on cam, and also, I'll be on the site without the tip probation. Not sure if she's going to be starting right on December 1 or not. She did say she needed about 1.5 weeks to feel normal, but that was less than a week ago that she learned that. In any case, if she does return, I'll be excited (in more ways than one).

Only a few hours remain until December. I better go to sleep before I feel like giving an offline tip.

Jason

 

[AmberCutie]

Be careful with fake Blizzard emails! Keyloggers and scary stuff.

See you tonight....

 

[Jason314]

Dec 1, 2010

Dear Diary,

flipping the page on the calendar revealed that I have a lot of stuff going on for the rest of the month. On December 2, I have to breathe. On December 3, I have to breathe. On December 4, I have to breathe and help decorate. On December 5, I have to breathe and do some shopping. And so on.

I saw a pretty cute cat on TV today. They were talking about adopting a cat, but I'm thinking about the consequences of that if I did, especially if I want to get a goldfish. If I had both, I could have the fish named Amber, and the cat named Catty. Now, where have I seen that combination before? Oh yes, in a recent entry.

Anyway, I'm taking the time to write while I wait for Amber to get out of her group show. Nothing like being efficient with my time. Yes, Amber is back. This has turned out to be a wonderful day... well, night, but whatever.

She's back! I'm going to go and see how she feels after her session.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 2, 2010

Dear Diary,

I lost one of my gloves today. That's okay, though, because it's not like any secret documents were hidden inside that glove. I phoned up the lost-and-found for the transit service so hopefully they can find a generic blue glove. Maybe next time I should ask them to find my youthful innocence while I'm at it.

I measured my feet's pressure points on one of those machines that recommend the best sole cushions by that brand name. When I tried it, it told me to get a certain type of sole, but they were nowhere to be found. I guess I have the same pressure points as a majority of people. Either that, or a minority, and they only had one or two packages available before I got there. In any case, they sure had more than a few of other sole models.

Speaking of sole models, I wonder if Amber is going to still be on by the time I finish writing. No time like the present to check. And... no, she's not on. Well, there's always next time. Might as well sleep, so that "next time" will seem to arrive sooner.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 3, 2010

Dear Diary,

when I hear people say "TGIF", I assume they are referring to the fact that they like Friday. But wouldn't Saturday or Sunday be better? A lot of people still have to work on Friday. Maybe they do something fun on Friday nights like calculus or partying. I wonder if anyone does both. They could be dancing to "No Limit" or something to that effect.

I found an old book in my closet today. Well, it's not that old, but it certainly wasn't seen for several years. It was a poetry compilation. It was kind of interesting to see the things that people write poems about. Personally, I typically attempt limericks or Shakespearean sonnets, but these poems in the book were more of the metaphorical imagery type ones where rhyming isn't necessary.

I suppose I could try to write a poem about Amber using metaphorical stuff, seeing as how it's not easy to rhyme with her name. Hmm...

"The beauty of properly cut diamonds resonates with the positive vibrations of my favourite unclothed performer's chuckle in the night."

That really didn't roll off the tongue. Of course, I could change chuckle to something else but I should keep it clean.

It bugs me that my eraser rips your pages on occasion. I think I need a new eraser or better yet, I should just write lightly. In any case, I've written enough for today.

Jason

 

[Bocefish]

"The beauty of properly cut diamonds resonates with the positive vibrations of my favourite unclothed performer's chuckle in the night."

Mimes try that nonsense with blind peeps.

 

[Jason314]

Dec 4, 2010

Dear Diary,

I found one my old iron-on image shirts being used as a rag. Remember those iron-on shirts? You'd draw something on a special piece of paper using a crayon, and you can iron on the image onto the shirt. True, when I was 10 my drawing skills weren't exactly Van Gogh quality but that's what makes it unique. Of course, nowadays people can use a printer and somehow transfer the image over to the shirt, so most people would be using clipart or personal photos anyway. I really want to make a "Go Amber! You're the best!" shirt with the text written in a fancy font but too many people would be asking about that.

I suppose I could find a white T-shirt and try to do another pattern, but would it be wrong to use a fancy brand name shirt with some random image of mine imprinted on it? I wonder if there's a generic store brand shirt or something I should use. Or would I have to weave one from scratch? It'd definitely be in line with my resolution to clean clothes without modern equipment...

Not much else to write about, so I'll just close out another day.

Jason

 

[JoleneBrody]

Dear Diary,
You're cool. Your 50% recycled pages are soft to the touch and don't tear easily with a freshly sharpened pencil like those hoity-toity 70% recycled pages. Your faint blue lines on not quite white pages are soothing to the eyes and cause less glare and eye strain than composition books. I love you, Diary! I love the hell out of you!

Kisses!
Jolene.
P.s. Sorry it has been so long since I wrote in you... I fear that I will fill all of your pages and not find another like you. However, I did find some scratch and sniff stickers at the dollar store and plan to paste them all over your cover.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Dear Jason's Diary...
I'm so embarrassed... I must have mistaken you for my diary. If there were any way I could bring myself to remove the exquisite parchment from your spine without notice, I surely would.

Dear Jason,
I'm sorry I wrote in your Diary... It's late, I've not been feeling well.
I may have also used your bathroom. You're out of soap.

Jolene.

 

[pyrite1965]

Dear Jason's Diary...
I'm so embarrassed... I must have mistaken you for my diary. If there were any way I could bring myself to remove the exquisite parchment from your spine without notice, I surely would.

Dear Jason,
I'm sorry I wrote in your Diary... It's late, I've not been feeling well.
I may have also used your bathroom. You're out of soap.

Jolene.

OMG EPIC!

 

[JoleneBrody]

Dear Jason's Diary...
I'm so embarrassed... I must have mistaken you for my diary. If there were any way I could bring myself to remove the exquisite parchment from your spine without notice, I surely would.

Dear Jason,
I'm sorry I wrote in your Diary... It's late, I've not been feeling well.
I may have also used your bathroom. You're out of soap.

Jolene.

OMG EPIC!

I know... I suck
I got so excited to write in a diary... I didn't realize it was only Jason's diary... got wrapped up in reading the posts and not noting the author... Then I didn't know what to write in the diary... then I read my post later... I think Jason should put me in time-out cuz I ruined his threadz...
Sorry, mister... real bad.

 

[Jason314]

Dec 5, 2010

Dear Diary,

did I perhaps become drunk at some point? It seems that I wrote in my diary twice yesterday, and the second entry seems to be in different handwriting. I didn't write the date, and I even spelled my name a bit wrong, too. Oh well, I'll leave it there, as some sort of a record, anyway. Distressing, though, that when I'm drunk, I don't really write about Amber. Uh oh. Time to strengthen the Internet-type relationship somehow.

While I was in the basement looking for some soap, I found that the hot water tank was dripping a little. Hopefully it's just condensation. I'll have to keep an eye on it, though, figuratively speaking. I hear that hot water tanks are expensive to replace, so maybe I should get a professional to look at it. Still, that costs money, too. Decisions, decisions. How much do I really want to take away from my holiday season budget? I can't really take too much away, considering that I can't really buy many items which are worth less than a few sticks of gum.

Sunday afternoons and evenings are kind of like "Oh crud, I have to go to work tomorrow", but it also means a chance to see you-know-who working her awesome magic. Nothing like seeing people being teleported across the room or apparently sawed in half. Rabbit out of hat is a neat trick, too, albeit cliche. A real magician should pull some rich person's money out of a hat.

Oh, and there's also the chance of seeing Amber on cam, too, on Monday night.

I have a relatively early start tomorrow, so I should just go to bed right after I post some thought in that thread.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 6, 2010

Dear Diary,

I probably wore away a lot of the carpet just now because of all the pacing I'm doing, as I'm facing a moderately difficult decision. It's even more difficult now that the X-factor I was wary of has actually become a known factor, and thus initiated another X-factor. I feel that I'm running out of time to put the plan into action, but it might be better for me to not go through with it. Then again, if I do go through with it, the reward could potentially be great. Potentially. It's hard to do a risk-reward analysis with that X-factor in the way. I think I've lost about 3% more hair than I do on regular days. So now I have to get a new carpet and a wig. Nice.

Speaking of hair, I wonder if I need a haircut. The last time I got it cut was probably less than two months ago but it feels kind of long now. Odd. I thought hair grew slower in winter.

Yesterday, I forgot that the magician I was going to see was a friend's pre-preteen daughter, and thus teleportation and sawing were not on the menu. The kid is pretty good at the rabbit out of a hat trick. Of course, it was a stuffed animal but I'll let that slide.

Gah... I really need to cut this entry short because I really need to sleep on my decision, and hope it won't be too late when I do decide.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 7, 2010

Dear Diary,

how in the world did today's horoscope seem perfectly fitted for me? To paraphrase, it says that

I'm dealing with a giant problem right now, and it's probably not worth stressing over. In fact, I should just make the problem go away.

So, it either wants me to solve the problem, or ignore it. As specific as it was, it was still generic. Amber's horoscope read something about her being worried about her reputation, and today she is able to patch it up. I don't really think Amber's reputation is bad. Maybe it's just another way of saying that she needs to work on getting to the top 20.

On the bus today, I saw yet another ad, but the white bars that hold the ad in place obscured part of the words. I found it kind of funny that by hiding those letters, it made the message seem like the reverse. I've seen the ad several times in the past but for someone who is just learning English, they may find the message confusing. Seriously, do the buses need white bars? What happened to the clear bars they used to have?

I am dangerously low on energy after this morning's two hour sleep, if that. It's a good thing I don't operate any heavy machinery, but I should go now.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 8, 2010

Dear Diary,

today at work, I decided to change the wallpaper. However, the boss wouldn't let me, so the other option would be to change the wallpaper on my computer desktop instead. I really wanted to put a picture of Amber on it, but that might raise too many questions. So, I thought about finding something else that would remind me of Amber without having Amber actually on the image. If I put Hello Kitty, people would look at me strangely. I don't really know dogs all that well, so that idea's out. I don't cheer for the Miami Dolphins, and putting that up makes it seem like I do, so I scratched that idea. World of Warcraft may not be a good background in case someone thought I was playing games at work. A goldfish could work, but instead I opted for a particular breed of Equus Caballus. I'm not sure if it was a horse or a pony, but the intention was obvious.

Has it already been a week since I last saw Amber? I better go and see if I can sign on before she forgets what my text looks like. Actually, it looks like she already logged off, so I guess it'll have to wait until next time. Or maybe she just logged off to change her font colour.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 9, 2010

Dear Diary,

after realizing that I haven't had a recallable dream with Amber in it for quite a while, I decided to think lots about Amber today in an effort to increase the chances of her being a part of my dream. Yes, even at work, I still think about Amber. I don't think my work suffered too badly for that, but we'll have to see. I actually thought about Amber being clothed for most of the daydreams, though. Odd. Does this mean I prefer her personality? Oh, I don't know anymore.

I should probably put a "Don't think about Amber at all today" on my personal calendar somewhere, but I don't see how that's going to be possible. I'm going to have to keep telling myself to not think about Amber, but by that logic, I'll have thought about Amber at that point.

I took an extra minute for lunch today. I wonder if I should punish myself for that by not visiting Amber's room tonight. Well, seeing as how she's not scheduled to be on at this time, I think that I'll eat a slightly smaller slice of pie tomorrow. Although not as comparable, I think the punishment is better suited.

Well, I need the energy since I'm not going to be getting it from pie, so time for snoozing.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 10, 2010

Dear Diary,

am I exuding more confidence, or is it something else? People tend to find me a bit more approachable today than on other days. I was asked for directions two times today, for starters. There were many people around but I was the one who got asked. Also, people at work started to socialize with me a little more, too. I wonder if it has something to do with getting more sleep. I don't feel as tired, and as a result my posture may improve and my eyes aren't baggy. I don't sigh as often, as well.

I wonder if I should go and see Amber tonight, if she's still on. I mean, absence makes the heart go fonder, but if that were the case, the people I haven't seen since Kindergarten would be totally in love with me at this point. I guess the phrase really only works if you've had a bit more of an intimate relationship with the other person. That being said, I already missed several shows in December as it is.

Hmm...

Eh, what the hey. I'll visit her if she's on. The Internet seems to be a bit sluggish this evening, though.

Jason

 

[Jason314]

Dec 12, 2010

Dear Diary,

well, we've made it the twelfth day of the twelfth month. I know, having the same day and month number happens twelve times a year, so it's not quite as exciting.

I had butterfingers today. Luckily I didn't drop anything fragile or expensive, but it's still bothersome. I wonder if the fact that yesterday's party ended today past midnight had anything to do with it.

I was close to having a dream with Amber again. The closest I got in my last dream was when I was logging into the cam site and seeing my token count at some really high number, and then chatting with some members while the video was off. Next time I should finish what I start, and not jump to some other random thing.

As I was walking around indoors today, I noticed that I forgot to flip the page on one of the calendars. I guess we don't really use that one too much. I should probably sell the calendar to someone who needs it for the rest of the year. I guess as an added bonus the calendar has January 2011 as well. The pictures on the calendar are those professional photographs of outdoor scenes. I'm not sure why they decided to put the summer-like picture for December, though. I should expand that image, put it on cardboard, and place it outside in front of a window. Or maybe all of them. As an added bonus, it could stop the heat from escaping if I place the cardboard right up against the window and use waterproof tape.

Wow, during proofreading, I really got weirded out by the spelling of "twelfth". The consonant-to-vowel ratio is huge in comparison to many other commonly used words. Now that I'm looking it up in the dictionary, I realize I may have been pronouncing it incorrectly all this time. I always say or sing it like the "F" is silent, but apparently it isn't supposed to be.

Meh, time to rest up for tomorrow. I really want to go to work and then come home with a reasonable amount of energy so that when it's time to greet Amber, I can be as energetic as she is. Maybe I should get some of those Monster energy drinks.

Jason

 

[AmberCutie]

Meh, time to rest up for tomorrow. I really want to go to work and then come home with a reasonable amount of energy so that when it's time to greet Amber, I can be as energetic as she is. Maybe I should get some of those Monster energy drinks.

Jason

I am going to have a Monster today so I advise you to do the same. I may be a tad late getting on cam tonight, also. Hoping the Monster will help me stay on late to compensate.

Ooh, that rhymed.