Why do people frown upon sex work?

[mynameisbob84]

There's a distinction between enjoying something and being comfortable doing something, yo.

Agree. "Enjoy" is pretty definite. "Comfortable" can be a bit ambiguous. For instance, when in a job you hate, you might become "comfortable" with it--if only for mental health reasons, but when asked, you still hate it or at least hold it in low esteem.

Right, but you still choose to be in that job.
Say you work as a stuntman in Hollywood. You've chosen that profession because you're comfortable falling down flights of stairs for a living. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you're not doing something that you're uncomfortable with. Now, as a stuntman, you offer your services to a director and he pays you to fall down a flight of stairs for his film (I'm sure stuntmen/women do more than just fall down flights of stairs but bear with me here). Now, the director can easily surmise that the stuntman won't enjoy doing this stunt but the fact that the stuntman has offered his services suggests to the director that he's at least comfortable doing it.
So, if the director hires the stuntman to do the job that he chooses to do; does the director deserve to be judged? If we apply the same logic that Isabella does to prostitition, then yes, he does. I on the other hand, would argue that we perhaps shouldn't judge him, ya know?

 

[Nordling]

It's not a mans responsibility to find out if every prostitute he sleeps with actually enjoys it.

He'd be crazy to even try. The result of such a hypothetical survey could lead to deep depression. But seriously, is that even the question? She may enjoy her job but still hold her customers in contempt. I just don't think either side of the discussion can generalize.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

There's a distinction between enjoying something and being comfortable doing something, yo.

Agree. "Enjoy" is pretty definite. "Comfortable" can be a bit ambiguous. For instance, when in a job you hate, you might become "comfortable" with it--if only for mental health reasons, but when asked, you still hate it or at least hold it in low esteem.

Right, but you still choose to be in that job.
Say you work as a stuntman in Hollywood. You've chosen that profession because you're comfortable falling down flights of stairs for a living. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you're not doing something that you're uncomfortable with. Now, as a stuntman, you offer your services to a director and he pays you to fall down a flight of stairs for his film (I'm sure stuntmen/women do more than just fall down flights of stairs but bear with me here). Now, the director can easily surmise that the stuntman won't enjoy doing this stunt but the fact that the stuntman has offered his services suggests to the director that he's at least comfortable doing it.
So, if the director hires the stuntman to do the job that he chooses to do; does the director deserve to be judged? If we apply the same logic that Isabella does to prostitition, then yes, he does. I on the other hand, would argue that we perhaps shouldn't judge him, ya know?

The only thing I disagree with, is that the stuntman is comfortable with it. There are people that do things they are uncomfortable for money all the time. They are the retired pornstars that bash the industry as a whole and are in therapy twice a week. They did something they were uncomfortable with and it took a toll on their mental health. Some sex workers are comfortable with it AND enjoy it. Others are just comfortable with it, but don't enjoy the company of every guy. Some girls are not comfortable with sex work, but do it for the money. Whatever the reason, it's not up to the guy to find out. Not like she would tell the truth, anyways.
Guy: are you comfortable with this.
Prostitute: um sure.
Guy: k cool.
There's no way to really know. If she's in it for the money, she'll say anything to get it.

 

[lordmagellan]

As women, it's easy to say that men don't need to pay for sex. Let's be realistic. Women rule sex. We can run into the street yell "Sex Boobies Sex!" and someone will come running. If we want male attention with or without sex, it's equally easy to attain. Men (even amazingly attractive men) don't have that option.

I think this just explained the double standard that exists between promiscuous men and women: men are viewed as "studs"(positive), while women are "sluts" (negative).
Seems silly to point that out, but I've been trying to understand the source of that for a while. It seems that promiscuity, amongst women, mainly, is frowned upon whether they get paid or not. That's actually an argument that's used against birth control in some areas. "Oh, it's a free pass to have sex," they say. I remember my dad saying this about my sister. I had to remind him that she was already fucking her boyfriend. (Oddly, enough she has a three year old...)
But selling your body has a certain stigma, even in this free-market economy. It is rather funny (stupid) to think that it's perfectly acceptable to break your body doing construction, or heavy lifting, or haz-mat clean up and get paid, but to use your body and your sexuality to make money is seen as "low."
I seem to remember part of Larry Flint's platform when he ran for office was to legalize prostitution, providing health care and collecting taxes. I say why the fuck not?! Why not take care of these people who are providing a service and why not collect taxes on income that is otherwise going unreported?
I've also heard arguments from women saying, "Oh I don't want my husband going to those whores." Ladies, if you're worried about your man going off to fuck another woman, leave. Find another that you think you can actually trust. And if you just can't bring yourself to trust a man, don't try and rope him into a relationship, because there's no reason he should have to deal with your neurosis. If you have a partner you trust, this should be a non-issue.
On objectification: women objectify men, men objectify women, some people objectify sheep, horses, and dogs. It's what we do. Sure there are assholes that treat women like shit. There are also a lot of murders among the human race, doesn't mean we all are. Legalize brothels, hire good security (more jobs!), screen clients, and that shrinks a great deal. It won't completely go away because no system is perfect, but it becomes a much smaller problem.
But maybe it's too late for that. Maybe it's too seedy, too underground for a system to be built into it. Or maybe if a system is established they will come, pun not intended, but welcome.

Penn & Teller had a pretty good episode of Bullshit that talked about this issue, as well.

 

[lordmagellan]

There's a distinction between enjoying something and being comfortable doing something, yo.

Agree. "Enjoy" is pretty definite. "Comfortable" can be a bit ambiguous. For instance, when in a job you hate, you might become "comfortable" with it--if only for mental health reasons, but when asked, you still hate it or at least hold it in low esteem.

Right, but you still choose to be in that job.
Say you work as a stuntman in Hollywood. You've chosen that profession because you're comfortable falling down flights of stairs for a living. I'm sure you don't enjoy it, but you're not doing something that you're uncomfortable with. Now, as a stuntman, you offer your services to a director and he pays you to fall down a flight of stairs for his film (I'm sure stuntmen/women do more than just fall down flights of stairs but bear with me here). Now, the director can easily surmise that the stuntman won't enjoy doing this stunt but the fact that the stuntman has offered his services suggests to the director that he's at least comfortable doing it.
So, if the director hires the stuntman to do the job that he chooses to do; does the director deserve to be judged? If we apply the same logic that Isabella does to prostitition, then yes, he does. I on the other hand, would argue that we perhaps shouldn't judge him, ya know?

The only thing I disagree with, is that the stuntman is comfortable with it. There are people that do things they are uncomfortable for money all the time. They are the retired pornstars that bash the industry as a whole and are in therapy twice a week. They did something they were uncomfortable with and it took a toll on their mental health. Some sex workers are comfortable with it AND enjoy it. Others are just comfortable with it, but don't enjoy the company of every guy. Some girls are not comfortable with sex work, but do it for the money. Whatever the reason, it's not up to the guy to find out. Not like she would tell the truth, anyways.
Guy: are you comfortable with this.
Prostitute: um sure.
Guy: k cool.
There's no way to really know. If she's in it for the money, she'll say anything to get it.

Also, as far as I know and it's a generalization, stunt people are thrill junkies. They get off on the adrenaline and they actually enjoy the work. They don't necessarily like the pain, but they enjoy doing it. I feel the same with a lot of my BDSM play, the pain hurts (duh!) but it's an enjoyable experience overall.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

All I'm saying is that to me, my opinion is that I think it takes a certain kind of person to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to be there.

I'm not saying the woman is there hating every second. But it's a job. I enjoy camming and I do sometimes get excited about coming online, but really I'd rather be chilling with my friends, or reading a book, or be with my horse. Although I enjoy the job, it's still a job, a chore. Not everyone feels like that, some women cam just for fun and not for the money at all! Some women like to go out and have sex with random strangers not caring who they are or what they look like, then selling it makes sense. But those are far between.
The reason I don't judge the women is because whatever reason the woman is doing this, we can go on and on about how wonderful the sex industry is, but the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it. Not all, but more than people often make out. It's not in a sex worker's interests to admit their issues. Men might start feeling guilty, like they're taking advantage.
Me for example, I never wanted to be on cam. I've always been very sexual and open, but I didn't want my face on screen. I moved to a town where there are fuck all jobs, I knew if I didn't find something else I was going to really struggle, and I found this. Did I want to do it? No not really, although I wasn't that bothered by it once I made the decision, but it was a chance I didn't feel in the position to turn down.
This isn't everyone's story, but from what I've read on here it's a fairly similar situation to a lot of girls.

The reason I say camming is different is because there is a big difference watching a girl on a screen to physically fucking her. Just like there is a big difference between a girl camming from her own home and having sex for money. Camming from home is nothing, doesn't bother me at all, I briefly several years ago was in a bad place, didn't want a relationship and decided maybe becoming an escort was a good idea, so I applied for the most prestigious company I could find where they rarely accept girls, and they accepted me, I did my interviews, sorted pictures. I never slept with anyone though, at 4 grand just to spend the night, the money would have been worth it. But before it changed me so much, every way I looked at life, everything I did. Men would look at me, as they always did, and I'd think "yeah, if you could afford me you could have me" After I was approached by a man on a train with particularly smelly breath I backed out. Had never considered the breath.
After that living in London, I didn't seem to be able to have a date, let alone a one night stand without someone slipping me an envelope of cash! London escorting is big, understandable really, lots of complete bastard men who are rich because of nastiness. Not all of them are awful, but most of them are selfish, job obsessed and scarily busy and haven't got the time for a girlfriend. "Escorts" in that way are because they don't want to give the time to find a one night stand, or they want girlfriend experience with the girl at their beckon call without having them moan at them afterwards. I can understand these men, it seems pretty reasonable in their position. I still think they're wankers though. That won't change. Also, it's not as hard for men to get sex as they think, and women aren't as in control as we think. Maybe if men decided to actually work at it, learn a bit about women/sex, spend their money on effort rather than on prostitutes they'd get a hell of a lot more sex! Going to a prostitute is kind of like cheating, things are going tough and you take the easy quick fix option. It's lazy and it doesn't last. Population is about 50/50, if you're not getting any then there's another girl who's not getting any either, if the men who aren't having sex just run off to prostitutes then what'll happen to those sexless women?! Again these are just my opinions, you don't have to share them. Me saying I judge these men, you may not feel the same, but that's how it is! I'm not a stranger to this world, this doesn't come from lack of education or what I've been told. I have the information and I know how I feel.

 

[Jupiter551]

I've never utilised the services of a prostitute, though if I was holidaying in Prague I'd call this young lady RIGHT MEOW http://www.czechcompanion.com/profil?pid=261

I've known a few as friends though (actually I've dated three, two while they were hooking and one who went into sex work after we parted ways) and I don't think from their reactions they felt 'contempt' for the kind of men who would visit them. Of course they got assholes, rude guys, guys who wanted to scam, were unattractive or were really creepy - often on a nightly basis - but they also got decent, respectful men. Kinda sounds like an MFC chatroom right? I'd hate to think camgirls have contempt for the 'kind of guys who would pay to see a girl often half their age masturbate'.

 

[PinkiePixi]

Hey guess what guys? I used to be a hooker. Years ago, way before I even knew what a camgirl was. A trashy gross craigslist hooker for hire, worked from disgusting cheap motels that asked no questions, had a pimp, and did it for all of the wrong reasons. At the very least I was very smart about being overly cautious about protection, I got tested every month, and never ever did anything without protection (no matter how much $ they offered).

I can see why people frown upon it, a lot of the people involved are doing it because they feel like I need to for the cash or some other reason. My pimp used to withhold 50% of my earnings every night, I would get it the next day. It was a way to make it more likely that I would continue to show up. I didnt have any say over anything - not where my ads were posted, not how much men were charged to see me, not how much I got of that money. Men paid $150 an hour to see me, of that I got $50. It was horrible, but I kept doing it because of assorted reasons I dont wish to get into. I guess I was lucky though, my pimp wasnt a really bad person. He discouraged drinking/drug use, he was never ever violent or nasty, when I said I stopped showing up he stopped all contact. But he was still the scum of the earth. To some degree I even frown upon prostitution in the way that I was involved, because it wasnt empowering or enjoyable.

The men that would come to see me were normal guys for the most part. Some were just lonely and honestly just wanted to hang out and talk, some were truckers who just never could settle down and find someone, some were old men whose elderly wives just werent up to the task anymore, and of course some were married men that were just plain cheating. There were old men, young men, handsome men, ugly men, nice men, mean men, rich men, poor men, lonely men, men on power trips, single men, married men, men from all types of professions, everything. And they were very quick to pour their hearts out to me. One treated hookers as a hobby - that sickend me and I nearly kicked the guy out. Some were just sad and lonely, working dead end jobs, and saved up for months to be able to afford some time with a pretty woman who would 'like' them. I had a lawyer who came in and started smoking meth, talking about his cases, and left me a pile of pills (that I promptly threw away). I will say that I never once felt like I was in danger, and I never did anything that I didnt want to do. I had moments I wished I wasnt there, mostly because its boring doing the same thing over and over again. True, most of the men were men that I never would have slept with otherwise (and the majority of men knew and understood that), but I never *hated* doing any of it. It turned into nothing more than a job for me, only one I resented because I felt like I should be getting paid more.

I cant frown upon men who go to sex workers as a whole, but some of them I certainly can. While my experience was largely negative, I do think that prostitution should be legalized so that the shady shit I was involved in would hopefully be removed. But I wish sex work wasnt as frowned upon as it is, its not fair to the workers. Just because they work in that field doesnt make them a bad or different person - Im still me, still nice, polite, generous, caring, responsible, and mature. I would never take back my past, it helped shaped me into who I am now, and Im very happy and proud of who I am. I just wish that it would have been more acceptable to society, and I would have had more rights and security while I was working. Would I do it again? Nope. Was it the worst experience of my life? Nope.

Sorry that got derailed a bit... I got a bit carried away.

 

[Jupiter551]

One treated hookers as a hobby - that sickend me and I nearly kicked the guy out.

I've seen on some adult websites and stuff 'hobbyist' seems to be a term guys who go to prostitutes every other week or whatever use. Weird hobby. Not weird to want sex with a beautiful woman, but weird to consider it a hobby.

 

[BobbyB]

Apart from all the moral BS it is in my opinion about options or call it choice....

1) For the girls it can be a way to make more money than maybe they can make in other jobs.
As with all jobs there is always the question is what I do worth the money I get payed for it, so each girl has to decide for herself if she is maybe better off doing a different kind of job....

2) For the men I believe there is something to the saying "you don't pay for the sex - you pay that the girls leaves after the sex", this means no calls, no expectations, no jealousy....
As a man I have a preference for a certain type of women and I am happy to pay to get what I want. And there is always the possibility if things work perfectly to switch from a business relation to a romantic relation.

I treat Ladies of the night with the same respect as other business partners, works for me ...

 

[PinkiePixi]

One treated hookers as a hobby - that sickend me and I nearly kicked the guy out.

I've seen on some adult websites and stuff 'hobbyist' seems to be a term guys who go to prostitutes every other week or whatever use. Weird hobby. Not weird to want sex with a beautiful woman, but weird to consider it a hobby.

Its not weird to want sex with a beautiful woman, but its weird to consider it a hobby - especially when you tell the beautiful woman youve just paid to have sex with you. He told me how he would go to at least one hooker a week, and he would keep notes at home in books with ratings and personal reviews. It was strange and that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I didnt like that I was being treated as a 'collectable commodity' of sorts, literally as a object. He ended up requesting some things that I quickly refused to do, so I sometimes wonder what kind of review he wrote up for me in his little book. Hah

 

[Jupiter551]

I've never utilised the services of a prostitute, though if I was holidaying in Prague I'd call this young lady RIGHT MEOW http://www.czechcompanion.com/profil?pid=261

I've known a few as friends though (actually I've dated threefour, two while they were hooking, one who had quit a couple years previous and one who went into sex work after we parted ways) and I don't think from their reactions they felt 'contempt' for the kind of men who would visit them.

*edit, I forgot one, sorry Belinda

 

[southsamurai]

Ya know, since i've been a bit of a shut in i've thought about hiring someone in. Don't have the funds, so it wont ever happen, but the thought of it is nice. Just on my side of things im sort of stuck here. Despite being a major asshole, im also a very polite and friendly person. People like me for some strange damn reason. i used to do really well with ladies. i'm a big hairy bastard, and balding as well, so not anyone's brad pitt version of good looks, but i never gave a shit. what's the worst that could happen? a no? Of course that requires the ability to actually go somewhere without a driver. It requires being able to actually do more than sweat and panic when i go even to the grocery store. Since i more or less got dumped hard after my body and mind broke down on me i sleep alone. (its a longer story than that, but not worth the specifics really) For 17 years before that i had someone with me every night. not always all cuddled up, not always with sex, but a warm breathing person who was there. The real impediment to me hiring in someone to feed the skin hunger isnt any of the ethical or religious bullshit. its not even the non existent funds. its what several people have already pointed out. A pro isnt there to be a friend, a companion, though with enough money many will be glad to fake it. Sex? meh, its fun, its awesome, but i could actually get that. i've turned down offers for just that. In the shriveled up raisin that i call my optimism center i believe that feeling of connectedness is what people really want when they hire a pro. Its the failure to get it that makes a lot of the pursuit so empty.

way back in the day, prostitutes were also priestesses in many places. you went to them, paid a donation and worshiped aphrodite, or whoever, and all was good with the world. yeah sure the priests were the pimps of the time, but at least it was supposed to be holy. Of course that rosy image isn't all accurate, many of the temple prostitutes were slaves, some of the conditions were horrible, but the idea is the center of my ramble here. that union of flesh is supposed to be a bit sacred. its supposed to be a thing of nature and passion and goodness. as much as i respect and wish the best for all sex workers, i know i wouldn't personally ever find that with one on the job. i keep waiting for an escort service to throw out an add "worship here! let our priestess give you holy communion in the most ancient of rites!" i do believe they would make a mint before they got burned at the stake.

and yeah, sorry for the huge ramble here... i was trying and failing to throw together a bunch of thoughts at once and utterly failed, but oh well

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

 

[PinkiePixi]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

Um can I just volunteer?

 

[Jupiter551]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

that's a really good way to explore that kind of thing - no emotional awkwardness etc

 

[mynameisbob84]

He told me how he would go to at least one hooker a week, and he would keep notes at home in books with ratings and personal reviews.

:shock: This man sounds like a crazy person, yo :?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

Um can I just volunteer?

Fook yes!!!!
I'm uh, a little, uh, wet now.

 

[Nordling]

He told me how he would go to at least one hooker a week, and he would keep notes at home in books with ratings and personal reviews.

:shock: This man sounds like a crazy person, yo :?

Agree. lol Although I thought of a possible alternative motive. The guy feels guilt about going to use prostitutes, and unconsciously came up with an elaborate scheme (a "hobby") to allow him to feel that he has a motive other than what he's really doing--paying for sex. Kind of like an ad hoc undercover cop, but with no real end purpose.

 

[AmberCutie]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

Someday in my life, I plan to do this too. Just because I think it would be a very fun and carefree time. We have had threesomes with girls we knew, and none of them turned out bad (they were wonderful) but I think it would be a cool experience.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

Um can I just volunteer?

Fook yes!!!!
I'm uh, a little, uh, wet now.

Just gonna leave this here... see if it helps anything along... :-D

 

[JickyJuly]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

I seriously have no girl friends where I've moved to and would totally consider renting a lady just to go shopping with and eat lunch in a fully platonic way. :geek:

All I'm saying is that to me, my opinion is that I think it takes a certain kind of person to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to be there.

I'm not saying the woman is there hating every second. But it's a job. I enjoy camming and I do sometimes get excited about coming online, but really I'd rather be chilling with my friends, or reading a book, or be with my horse. Although I enjoy the job, it's still a job, a chore. Not everyone feels like that, some women cam just for fun and not for the money at all! Some women like to go out and have sex with random strangers not caring who they are or what they look like, then selling it makes sense. But those are far between.
The reason I don't judge the women is because whatever reason the woman is doing this, we can go on and on about how wonderful the sex industry is, but the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it. Not all, but more than people often make out. It's not in a sex worker's interests to admit their issues. Men might start feeling guilty, like they're taking advantage.
Me for example, I never wanted to be on cam. I've always been very sexual and open, but I didn't want my face on screen. I moved to a town where there are fuck all jobs, I knew if I didn't find something else I was going to really struggle, and I found this. Did I want to do it? No not really, although I wasn't that bothered by it once I made the decision, but it was a chance I didn't feel in the position to turn down.
This isn't everyone's story, but from what I've read on here it's a fairly similar situation to a lot of girls.

The reason I say camming is different is because there is a big difference watching a girl on a screen to physically fucking her. Just like there is a big difference between a girl camming from her own home and having sex for money. Camming from home is nothing, doesn't bother me at all, I briefly several years ago was in a bad place, didn't want a relationship and decided maybe becoming an escort was a good idea, so I applied for the most prestigious company I could find where they rarely accept girls, and they accepted me, I did my interviews, sorted pictures. I never slept with anyone though, at 4 grand just to spend the night, the money would have been worth it. But before it changed me so much, every way I looked at life, everything I did. Men would look at me, as they always did, and I'd think "yeah, if you could afford me you could have me" After I was approached by a man on a train with particularly smelly breath I backed out. Had never considered the breath.
After that living in London, I didn't seem to be able to have a date, let alone a one night stand without someone slipping me an envelope of cash! London escorting is big, understandable really, lots of complete bastard men who are rich because of nastiness. Not all of them are awful, but most of them are selfish, job obsessed and scarily busy and haven't got the time for a girlfriend. "Escorts" in that way are because they don't want to give the time to find a one night stand, or they want girlfriend experience with the girl at their beckon call without having them moan at them afterwards. I can understand these men, it seems pretty reasonable in their position. I still think they're wankers though. That won't change. Also, it's not as hard for men to get sex as they think, and women aren't as in control as we think. Maybe if men decided to actually work at it, learn a bit about women/sex, spend their money on effort rather than on prostitutes they'd get a hell of a lot more sex! Going to a prostitute is kind of like cheating, things are going tough and you take the easy quick fix option. It's lazy and it doesn't last. Population is about 50/50, if you're not getting any then there's another girl who's not getting any either, if the men who aren't having sex just run off to prostitutes then what'll happen to those sexless women?! Again these are just my opinions, you don't have to share them. Me saying I judge these men, you may not feel the same, but that's how it is! I'm not a stranger to this world, this doesn't come from lack of education or what I've been told. I have the information and I know how I feel.

Pretty much all of this offends me as a woman and a human being. :? Those poor women with their difficult pasts and inability to make wise choices in the face of $$$. :roll:

 

[Shaun__]

I have never really been a ladies man, but sometimes women develop a deep sudden love for my job when they learn about it. I never pursue them, because I think it would be sad coming home to someone who did not love me. Is what they are trying to do all that different from what a prostitute does?

 

[Kradek]

I seriously have no girl friends where I've moved to and would totally consider renting a lady just to go shopping with and eat lunch in a fully platonic way. :geek:

Isn't this one of the biggest draws of a prostitute/escort/whatever? No headaches, no demands, just a companion for a short period of time. An on demand fuck buddy.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

I seriously have no girl friends where I've moved to and would totally consider renting a lady just to go shopping with and eat lunch in a fully platonic way. :geek:

All I'm saying is that to me, my opinion is that I think it takes a certain kind of person to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to be there.

I'm not saying the woman is there hating every second. But it's a job. I enjoy camming and I do sometimes get excited about coming online, but really I'd rather be chilling with my friends, or reading a book, or be with my horse. Although I enjoy the job, it's still a job, a chore. Not everyone feels like that, some women cam just for fun and not for the money at all! Some women like to go out and have sex with random strangers not caring who they are or what they look like, then selling it makes sense. But those are far between.
The reason I don't judge the women is because whatever reason the woman is doing this, we can go on and on about how wonderful the sex industry is, but the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it. Not all, but more than people often make out. It's not in a sex worker's interests to admit their issues. Men might start feeling guilty, like they're taking advantage.
Me for example, I never wanted to be on cam. I've always been very sexual and open, but I didn't want my face on screen. I moved to a town where there are fuck all jobs, I knew if I didn't find something else I was going to really struggle, and I found this. Did I want to do it? No not really, although I wasn't that bothered by it once I made the decision, but it was a chance I didn't feel in the position to turn down.
This isn't everyone's story, but from what I've read on here it's a fairly similar situation to a lot of girls.

The reason I say camming is different is because there is a big difference watching a girl on a screen to physically fucking her. Just like there is a big difference between a girl camming from her own home and having sex for money. Camming from home is nothing, doesn't bother me at all, I briefly several years ago was in a bad place, didn't want a relationship and decided maybe becoming an escort was a good idea, so I applied for the most prestigious company I could find where they rarely accept girls, and they accepted me, I did my interviews, sorted pictures. I never slept with anyone though, at 4 grand just to spend the night, the money would have been worth it. But before it changed me so much, every way I looked at life, everything I did. Men would look at me, as they always did, and I'd think "yeah, if you could afford me you could have me" After I was approached by a man on a train with particularly smelly breath I backed out. Had never considered the breath.
After that living in London, I didn't seem to be able to have a date, let alone a one night stand without someone slipping me an envelope of cash! London escorting is big, understandable really, lots of complete bastard men who are rich because of nastiness. Not all of them are awful, but most of them are selfish, job obsessed and scarily busy and haven't got the time for a girlfriend. "Escorts" in that way are because they don't want to give the time to find a one night stand, or they want girlfriend experience with the girl at their beckon call without having them moan at them afterwards. I can understand these men, it seems pretty reasonable in their position. I still think they're wankers though. That won't change. Also, it's not as hard for men to get sex as they think, and women aren't as in control as we think. Maybe if men decided to actually work at it, learn a bit about women/sex, spend their money on effort rather than on prostitutes they'd get a hell of a lot more sex! Going to a prostitute is kind of like cheating, things are going tough and you take the easy quick fix option. It's lazy and it doesn't last. Population is about 50/50, if you're not getting any then there's another girl who's not getting any either, if the men who aren't having sex just run off to prostitutes then what'll happen to those sexless women?! Again these are just my opinions, you don't have to share them. Me saying I judge these men, you may not feel the same, but that's how it is! I'm not a stranger to this world, this doesn't come from lack of education or what I've been told. I have the information and I know how I feel.

Pretty much all of this offends me as a woman and a human being. :? Those poor women with their difficult pasts and inability to make wise choices in the face of $$$. :roll:

But there ARE those women. Pixie was one of them, as she stated. Let's not pretend the sex industry is all good and let's not pretend its all bad. There are two sides to this coin. I'd venture to say that we are the minority in the sex industry. We do it because we are comfortable with it. But so many women aren't, and they still do it. We get blind sighted because of all the strong, wonderful, women on this forum. But for every one of us, there are 2 sex workers that absolutely despise what they are doing.

 

[PinkiePixi]

the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it.

I posted my story above, but as a reply to this I have to agree, that was the situation that I was in. I didnt grow up wishing to be in this industry, but before I ever did hooking or paid camgirl work, I did free camgirl work. I would get off on cam, strip, etc because I enjoyed it - I never got paid for any of it. Because I was already an openly highly sexual person, the conversion to hooking wasnt very difficult at all. Under other circumstances, I may have even partially enjoyed it.

I will say though - that I have no past issues. People assume that I do when I admit that I used to be a hooker, did/do camgirl work, into ageplay, submissive, masochistic... they assume that all of that has a bright red flashing arrow that points to some sort of troubled past - abuse, rape, anything. I have none. I grew up with a very typical and normal life. I dont have daddy issues. My family was and continues to be fantastic. No depression, or huge traumatic events, nothing. There were absolutely no past issues that made me more accepting of it. I was a very ordinary person who fell into a taboo profession. Even now, though being a camgirl is less taboo, I continue to be a very ordinary person.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Pretty much all of this offends me as a woman and a human being. Those poor women with their difficult pasts and inability to make wise choices in the face of $$$.

It's very difficult to explain to someone who I don't know without actual speech. Either I'm explaining it really badly or you've completely misunderstood what I'm saying. I'm not saying the women aren't making wise choices, just that there is a reason sex work pays so much, it's because it's an undesirable job to most. Most of those who take the step believe the money is worth it. A few do the job because they genuinely want to have sex with strangers. I haven't said that I judge all men who go to prostitutes as evil, just that I judge them. That covers a pretty wide range of people and I judge them all differently. But I don't think prostitution is right. I can understand it, and some people's reasons of hiring a prostitute are totally understandable and legit. But I don't have to like it. In fact I also think men wanking over women who could be their grandchildren is weird. It happens, we can all find a way to justify it, and there's a reason why it happens. When I was 14/15 I found a way to justify all the men who wanted to fuck me, I didn't see it as a bad thing. Now I'm a bit older it grosses me out thinking about it.

I don't see why you're getting so upset that I'm admitted I judge people when you're judging me for what I posted. What is so wrong about admitting our flaws?

PinkiePixi that was a really lovely and interesting post, thank you for sharing that . You're right, they should legalise prostitution in the states, it's legal here, but pimping and advertising is illegal, oh and curb cruising is too. Doesn't quite make sense, and it still happens, but I guess it means the girls wouldn't ever be the ones to get into trouble.

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

That is different for one very big reason. That job would probably make it worth being an escort! lol
Fair enough reason though, that does seem different to me, maybe just because you're hot and the job sounds like it'd be fun, and because if you're having a 3some you don't want there to be a chance in hell of feelings etc, so yeah, on minimising ways people might get hurt, hiring an escort is definitely the best idea.
(My best friend had a threesome with her boyfriend and his best friend, was her boyfriends idea, the best friend fell for her, boyfriend got jealous, drove her away, fell out with the friend, they broke up, and she went out with the best friend, they've just moved in together. Kind of a worst case scenario, but yeah, you don't want that to happen! caused so much drama!)

Like I said, I'm not saying everyone who hire's prostitutes are scum of the earth, just that I don't like it. I just don't see it as ok. I wouldn't date anyone knowing they'd gone to one either. But there are obviously acceptations to the rule (my rule), but jeeze, we don't have to like everything/everyone! If we all felt the same then what on earth would we talk about on here?!

(and as for the no complications/call backs/having to follow through with a girl, although I am glad that you have had the initiative to realise you want to be a bit of a twat and have gone and hired a girl rather than lead on some poor unsuspecting girl hoping for love and then ditching her without a second thought, meaning no one gets hurt. It still makes me glare are the male species... lol)

 

[JickyJuly]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

I seriously have no girl friends where I've moved to and would totally consider renting a lady just to go shopping with and eat lunch in a fully platonic way. :geek:

All I'm saying is that to me, my opinion is that I think it takes a certain kind of person to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to be there.

I'm not saying the woman is there hating every second. But it's a job. I enjoy camming and I do sometimes get excited about coming online, but really I'd rather be chilling with my friends, or reading a book, or be with my horse. Although I enjoy the job, it's still a job, a chore. Not everyone feels like that, some women cam just for fun and not for the money at all! Some women like to go out and have sex with random strangers not caring who they are or what they look like, then selling it makes sense. But those are far between.
The reason I don't judge the women is because whatever reason the woman is doing this, we can go on and on about how wonderful the sex industry is, but the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it. Not all, but more than people often make out. It's not in a sex worker's interests to admit their issues. Men might start feeling guilty, like they're taking advantage.
Me for example, I never wanted to be on cam. I've always been very sexual and open, but I didn't want my face on screen. I moved to a town where there are fuck all jobs, I knew if I didn't find something else I was going to really struggle, and I found this. Did I want to do it? No not really, although I wasn't that bothered by it once I made the decision, but it was a chance I didn't feel in the position to turn down.
This isn't everyone's story, but from what I've read on here it's a fairly similar situation to a lot of girls.

The reason I say camming is different is because there is a big difference watching a girl on a screen to physically fucking her. Just like there is a big difference between a girl camming from her own home and having sex for money. Camming from home is nothing, doesn't bother me at all, I briefly several years ago was in a bad place, didn't want a relationship and decided maybe becoming an escort was a good idea, so I applied for the most prestigious company I could find where they rarely accept girls, and they accepted me, I did my interviews, sorted pictures. I never slept with anyone though, at 4 grand just to spend the night, the money would have been worth it. But before it changed me so much, every way I looked at life, everything I did. Men would look at me, as they always did, and I'd think "yeah, if you could afford me you could have me" After I was approached by a man on a train with particularly smelly breath I backed out. Had never considered the breath.
After that living in London, I didn't seem to be able to have a date, let alone a one night stand without someone slipping me an envelope of cash! London escorting is big, understandable really, lots of complete bastard men who are rich because of nastiness. Not all of them are awful, but most of them are selfish, job obsessed and scarily busy and haven't got the time for a girlfriend. "Escorts" in that way are because they don't want to give the time to find a one night stand, or they want girlfriend experience with the girl at their beckon call without having them moan at them afterwards. I can understand these men, it seems pretty reasonable in their position. I still think they're wankers though. That won't change. Also, it's not as hard for men to get sex as they think, and women aren't as in control as we think. Maybe if men decided to actually work at it, learn a bit about women/sex, spend their money on effort rather than on prostitutes they'd get a hell of a lot more sex! Going to a prostitute is kind of like cheating, things are going tough and you take the easy quick fix option. It's lazy and it doesn't last. Population is about 50/50, if you're not getting any then there's another girl who's not getting any either, if the men who aren't having sex just run off to prostitutes then what'll happen to those sexless women?! Again these are just my opinions, you don't have to share them. Me saying I judge these men, you may not feel the same, but that's how it is! I'm not a stranger to this world, this doesn't come from lack of education or what I've been told. I have the information and I know how I feel.

Pretty much all of this offends me as a woman and a human being. :? Those poor women with their difficult pasts and inability to make wise choices in the face of $$$. :roll:

But there ARE those women. Pixie was one of them, as she stated. Let's not pretend the sex industry is all good and let's not pretend its all bad. There are two sides to this coin. I'd venture to say that we are the minority in the sex industry. We do it because we are comfortable with it. But so many women aren't, and they still do it. We get blind sighted because of all the strong, wonderful, women on this forum. But for every one of us, there are 2 sex workers that absolutely despise what they are doing.

There are women (and men) in all sorts of fields doing jobs they don't want to do and jobs that aren't utilizing their talents strictly for the cash. When I was born, my Dad went to work at GM on the line. He's worked in a shitty factory for 30 years not because it's his passion or because he loves it. He does it for the money. No one runs around pitying him or thinking of him as a victim. He's a stand up dude who funded his family. No one questions his past or assumes he has mental issues of some sort. Women who choose to do sex work don't deserve to be scrutinized or pitied any more than any other profession is all I'm saying especially by a fellow camgirl.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

I seriously have no girl friends where I've moved to and would totally consider renting a lady just to go shopping with and eat lunch in a fully platonic way. :geek:

All I'm saying is that to me, my opinion is that I think it takes a certain kind of person to have sex with someone who doesn't really want to be there.

I'm not saying the woman is there hating every second. But it's a job. I enjoy camming and I do sometimes get excited about coming online, but really I'd rather be chilling with my friends, or reading a book, or be with my horse. Although I enjoy the job, it's still a job, a chore. Not everyone feels like that, some women cam just for fun and not for the money at all! Some women like to go out and have sex with random strangers not caring who they are or what they look like, then selling it makes sense. But those are far between.
The reason I don't judge the women is because whatever reason the woman is doing this, we can go on and on about how wonderful the sex industry is, but the majority of girls are in a position where they've been given an offer they cannot refuse. They want that extra money, and don't think they'd mind the sex part because the cash is so good. There aren't that many girls who grow up dreaming of being a prostitute or porn star. And let's face it, although everyone goes on about how happy sex workers are because they get annoyed at the idea of being a victim, a lot of girls who can stomach that kind of work have got some past issues which make them more accepting of it. Not all, but more than people often make out. It's not in a sex worker's interests to admit their issues. Men might start feeling guilty, like they're taking advantage.
Me for example, I never wanted to be on cam. I've always been very sexual and open, but I didn't want my face on screen. I moved to a town where there are fuck all jobs, I knew if I didn't find something else I was going to really struggle, and I found this. Did I want to do it? No not really, although I wasn't that bothered by it once I made the decision, but it was a chance I didn't feel in the position to turn down.
This isn't everyone's story, but from what I've read on here it's a fairly similar situation to a lot of girls.

The reason I say camming is different is because there is a big difference watching a girl on a screen to physically fucking her. Just like there is a big difference between a girl camming from her own home and having sex for money. Camming from home is nothing, doesn't bother me at all, I briefly several years ago was in a bad place, didn't want a relationship and decided maybe becoming an escort was a good idea, so I applied for the most prestigious company I could find where they rarely accept girls, and they accepted me, I did my interviews, sorted pictures. I never slept with anyone though, at 4 grand just to spend the night, the money would have been worth it. But before it changed me so much, every way I looked at life, everything I did. Men would look at me, as they always did, and I'd think "yeah, if you could afford me you could have me" After I was approached by a man on a train with particularly smelly breath I backed out. Had never considered the breath.
After that living in London, I didn't seem to be able to have a date, let alone a one night stand without someone slipping me an envelope of cash! London escorting is big, understandable really, lots of complete bastard men who are rich because of nastiness. Not all of them are awful, but most of them are selfish, job obsessed and scarily busy and haven't got the time for a girlfriend. "Escorts" in that way are because they don't want to give the time to find a one night stand, or they want girlfriend experience with the girl at their beckon call without having them moan at them afterwards. I can understand these men, it seems pretty reasonable in their position. I still think they're wankers though. That won't change. Also, it's not as hard for men to get sex as they think, and women aren't as in control as we think. Maybe if men decided to actually work at it, learn a bit about women/sex, spend their money on effort rather than on prostitutes they'd get a hell of a lot more sex! Going to a prostitute is kind of like cheating, things are going tough and you take the easy quick fix option. It's lazy and it doesn't last. Population is about 50/50, if you're not getting any then there's another girl who's not getting any either, if the men who aren't having sex just run off to prostitutes then what'll happen to those sexless women?! Again these are just my opinions, you don't have to share them. Me saying I judge these men, you may not feel the same, but that's how it is! I'm not a stranger to this world, this doesn't come from lack of education or what I've been told. I have the information and I know how I feel.

Pretty much all of this offends me as a woman and a human being. :? Those poor women with their difficult pasts and inability to make wise choices in the face of $$$. :roll:

But there ARE those women. Pixie was one of them, as she stated. Let's not pretend the sex industry is all good and let's not pretend its all bad. There are two sides to this coin. I'd venture to say that we are the minority in the sex industry. We do it because we are comfortable with it. But so many women aren't, and they still do it. We get blind sighted because of all the strong, wonderful, women on this forum. But for every one of us, there are 2 sex workers that absolutely despise what they are doing.

There are women (and men) in all sorts of fields doing jobs they don't want to do and jobs that aren't utilizing their talents strictly for the cash. When I was born, my Dad went to work at GM on the line. He's worked in a shitty factory for 30 years not because it's his passion or because he loves it. He does it for the money. No one runs around pitying him or thinking of him as a victim. He's a stand up dude who funded his family. No one questions his past or assumes he has mental issues of some sort. Women who choose to do sex work don't deserve to be scrutinized or pitied any more than any other profession is all I'm saying especially by a fellow camgirl.

Sex, for some, is a very intimate sacred thing. When you do things you are uncomfortable with, and it has to do with sex, there is a higher risk of it hurting your mental stability than other jobs. If you are a vacuum sales person and no one buys your vacuum, it sucks. If you are a nude model and no one pays for your nudity, it hurts even more because they are denying YOU, your body. It's on a whole different level. Totally incomparable.

 

[Just Me]

I was thinking about hiring an escort for a threesome. I've had one with a friend and shit was awkward as hell after. Hope no one would judge me for it.

Someday in my life, I plan to do this too. Just because I think it would be a very fun and carefree time. We have had threesomes with girls we knew, and none of them turned out bad (they were wonderful) but I think it would be a cool experience.

Do not do this thinking it will be any easier than with a random person picked up in bar or with someone you know. Just because money is involved does not mean there are any less emotional issues even from the person being paid. You would hope she is a professional and will keep it strictly business but sex workers are people too. Research and ask questions before you take that plunge. That goes for people you know as well. :twocents-02cents: