Can't stop watching this girl

[otham]

Hi all,

Found a couple similar topics via Google on this site. And since I just really needed to get this off my chest I'm posting this here.

Ok, here's my story.

I visited a webcam site about 1.5 years ago for the first time, totally harmless and I would occasionally go to private with a girl. Nothing special, I did spend quite some money, but nothing I couldn't lose and no strings attached.
However a week ago the weirdest thing happened. I went private with this girl from Romania, I've had her in my favorites for months and I would sometimes watch her in free chat. We end up talking for a long time in private. Normally I would just forget about the girl pretty soon, or at least not think about them for a while. But this girl, I've been thinking about her 24/7 for a whole week and watch her free chat (with a different username) the whole day, she has a lot of private shows, at least 5 hours a day for 2.99$ per minute. I sometimes sneak peak and she's almost always talking with them.

So I figured out pretty soon I must be having some kind of crush on her, I'm pretty sure she does this for the money (and she might enjoy it though), she's online 5-6 days a week and has been doing this for almost 6 years. I then tried to find some ways to get "over" her, nothing helps and I keep coming back. So yesterday evening I decided to send her a message telling my story and saying I won't be visiting again and wishing her a happy life. She hasn't send anything back, I know it's stupid to think, but I just expected some kind of reaction. She has been online for 6 hours today.

I've never been a very attached person and my social life is pretty boring (only 22 and never had a girlfriend btw). She must have hit something deep inside me. Because ever since I've been feeling the need to meet a person in my life I can share everything. It's such a sad feeling.

Anyone has similar stories or advice? I know the obvious: just never come back. But it's so hard.

 

[BlairLuxe]

Oh boy... From the perspective of another young person, I confuse being horny for being in love All. The. Time.

You gotta understand that it's pretty awkward for a model when someone says they have a crush on her. It really is. With VERY few exceptions, the relationship you develop with a model is a business relationship or friendship and nothing more. When the members I enjoy spending time with tell me that they have a crush on me, I usually feel an agonizing sense of guilt because I really, truly don't want to hurt any feelings, and typing out that "I'm sorry, that's not what this is" message is actually pretty hard. She might have just felt that it was easier to not say anything, especially since you said you wouldn't be coming back.

I'm sorry that your heart is probably a little bit broken right now. Cam sites will be more pleasant for you if you understand, though, that when a girl broadcasts, she is selling you a fantasy. You can have as much of that fantasy as you want, but it won't be anything else.

 

[otham]

Oh boy... From the perspective of another young person, I confuse being horny for being in love All. The. Time.

You gotta understand that it's pretty awkward for a model when someone says they have a crush on her. It really is. With VERY few exceptions, the relationship you develop with a model is a business relationship or friendship and nothing more. When the members I enjoy spending time with tell me that they have a crush on me, I usually feel an agonizing sense of guilt because I really, truly don't want to hurt any feelings, and typing out that "I'm sorry, that's not what this is" message is actually pretty hard. She might have just felt that it was easier to not say anything, especially since you said you wouldn't be coming back.

I'm sorry that your heart is probably a little bit broken right now. Cam sites will be more pleasant for you if you understand, though, that when a girl broadcasts, she is selling you a fantasy. You can have as much of that fantasy as you want, but it won't be anything else.

Thanks a lot for replying. Means a lot to me!
Your last sentence really helps, she probably sold me a fantasy when chatting with her and I should keep it at that.

Just want to say it's probably not something sexual for me, but way deeper, I didn't even masturbate since. Just thinking about the girl and the talks we had over all kinds of stuff.

I figure by the long privates she or other models have there are probably a lot of other guys joining these sites to cope with loneliness or something. I never saw myself as lonely, but this week changed it all..

 

[Poker_Babe]

I'm pretty sure she does this for the money (and she might enjoy it though).

I think we all do this for the money hun. But that doesn't mean we don't genuinely enjoy what we do.

So yesterday evening I decided to send her a message telling my story and saying I won't be visiting again and wishing her a happy life. She hasn't send anything back, I know it's stupid to think, but I just expected some kind of reaction. She has been online for 6 hours today.

I feel for your situation and all, but what kind of response did you expect her to have? If I got a message like that I most likely wouldn't respond to it either. I mean you did say that you're basically cutting yourself off from her "cold turkey" right? So if anything I would be thinking that you wouldn't want a response. And honestly, my first reaction to receiving an email like that would most likely be feeling like the best thing to do would be to NOT RESPOND ABSOLUTELY! And not to sound like a bitch or anything, but I'd probably also feel like I had just dodged a bullet by not letting the interactions go any further.

Like I said, I'm really not trying to come off as a bitch, just giving you some honest feedback here. I hope everything goes better for you and that you can start to get over her, and find your true love some day. But just remember, if you're looking for a real love connection, stay off the cam sites, and join a dating site instead.
good luck.

 

[otham]

I'm pretty sure she does this for the money (and she might enjoy it though).

I think we all do this for the money hun. But that doesn't mean we don't genuinely enjoy what we do.

So yesterday evening I decided to send her a message telling my story and saying I won't be visiting again and wishing her a happy life. She hasn't send anything back, I know it's stupid to think, but I just expected some kind of reaction. She has been online for 6 hours today.

I feel for your situation and all, but what kind of response did you expect her to have? If I got a message like that I most likely wouldn't respond to it either. I mean you did say that you're basically cutting yourself off from her "cold turkey" right? So if anything I would be thinking that you wouldn't want a response. And honestly, my first reaction to receiving an email like that would most likely be feeling like the best thing to do would be to NOT RESPOND ABSOLUTELY! And not to sound like a bitch or anything, but I'd probably also feel like I had just dodged a bullet by not letting the interactions go any further.

Like I said, I'm really not trying to come off as a bitch, just giving you some honest feedback here. I hope everything goes better for you and that you can start to get over her, and find your true love some day. But just remember, if you're looking for a real love connection, stay off the cam sites, and join a dating site instead.
good luck.

Honesty is very much appreciated, I need to get back into reality again.

Maybe I shouldn't have send anything but just left instead, I can imagine webcam models see dozens of people they never see again. Not sure what I was expecting, maybe a "good luck with your life" or something, sounds stupid, I know.
Heh, the sad thing is now I feel the need to send a message again...

 

[BlairLuxe]

Heh, the sad thing is now I feel the need to send a message again...

DON'T DO IT.

 

[Poker_Babe]

Heh, the sad thing is now I feel the need to send a message again...

DON'T DO IT.

I second that "slap back into reality"!

 

[otham]

Okay I won't! Thanks for replying. It's good to see such responsiveness here. Sorry to bother you girls with these troubles

 

[BlairLuxe]

Poker Babe and I aren't trying to be mean to you. I promise. We just don't want your heart to hurt or that model to feel like she's in an awkward situation. OkCupid is a terrific dating site that is also free. Lots of young people are on it, and it's a perfect place to get that female interaction you crave. Cam sites are great for NSA fun and interaction, but from the looks of it, you might need to take a little break from those kinds of sites.

Good luck, though, yo!

 

[otham]

I totally understand. It was the real reason for posting here, to hear from a cam model or someone with similar experience. Deep inside I knew it, but it's feels good to have some confirmation.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

You just need to get out more dude. Way too young to be falling for people or spending your life on the internet. Get out there and meet people. I can understand falling for someone who is being paid to make you feel good, lol I mean I don't really because it's the internet and I've never really understood how this happens but I've seen a ton of dudes come here with the same fell for a Romanian story. Something about those Romanian broads that seems to make some dudes helpless. Hit up some bars or something.

 

[zippypinhead]

A WEEK. You've been into this girl for a week, and you're in here, acting like you're on the verge of ruin, all because this girl's done her job with you. Stalking her room from other accounts, and sending her breakup letters like a weirdo. C'mon, man.

I'm with Punk on this. Time to take a break from camland for a while. This shit ain't healthy.

 

[otham]

You just need to get out more dude. Way too young to be falling for people or spending your life on the internet. Get out there and meet people. I can understand falling for someone who is being paid to make you feel good, lol I mean I don't really because it's the internet and I've never really understood how this happens but I've seen a ton of dudes come here with the same fell for a Romanian story. Something about those Romanian broads that seems to make some dudes helpless. Hit up some bars or something.

Thanks! I agree with you.

A WEEK. You've been into this girl for a week, and you're in here, acting like you're on the verge of ruin, all because this girl's done her job with you. Stalking her room from other accounts, and sending her breakup letters like a weirdo. C'mon, man.

I'm with Punk on this. Time to take a break from camland for a while. This shit ain't healthy.

I'm aware of that. I did spend a private with her a couple months prior, it might sound a bit more dramatic than it was. It wasn't a breakup letter, more a notification of how I might be getting feelings I shouldn't have on a cam site and it's better if I leave, which sounds stupid now I've typed it out loud.

But thanks for responding, really appreciate it.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I wrote this in another thread a while back, but I think it applies here too so I'll just copy and paste it instead of taking the time to contribute something new (you can at least be content in the knowledge that you're far from the first person to think they've fallen in love with a cam girl, and I'm sure you won't be the last ).

- I've said it before, I'll say it again; MFC should have a disclaimer/warning pop up when members log on reminding them not to "fall in love" with the models.

- It's always worth remembering that when you ('you' being any member who develops unhealthy feelings for a cam girl and not specifically the OP) "fall in love" with a cam girl, you're essentially falling for someone who doesn't exist in the real world. I can kinda see why so many doods fall into the trap of thinking they're in love with a cam girl - they're beautiful, they're witty and funny and fun to be around, they're popular, they're completely comfortable with their sexuality and their kinks, they think nothing of walking around their house with their lovely naked boobies exposed and glistening with baby oil, they're really adept at getting themselves off for those nights where their partners are too tired to fuck or are sacked out on the couch watching football or playing computer games or out drinking with friends, they're independently wealthy, and they're eager to make your wildest sexual fantasies become a reality. Near enough every cam girl is the perfect woman, right? Except that's not who they really are.
On cam, they're projecting a hyper-sexualised, fault-free, care-free version of themselves for the purposes of entertaining members and making money to pay their bills. In their every day lives, they're just regular people. They snore, they fart, they moan, they cry, they worry, they argue, they get the shits and stink out the bathroom, they get drunk and pass out and have to be carried home, they're not always in the mood for sex, they leave dirty laundry strewn about the bedroom floor, they wake up with bags under their eyes and drool hanging out the side of their mouth and smudged, fudged make-up sticking to their face because they were too tired to remove it the night before... and that's the person that their boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives ultimately fall in love with, and that's the person that members seldom ever get to know. It's always the abstract, sexual entity with smatterings of legitimate personality traits and likes and dislikes that members fall for, and not the girls themselves.

 

[fandango]

Hmm this feels fishy

Are you the guy who started this thread https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 15&t=20322 but just back with a new name?

 

[Sevrin]

Two good things about being a grumpy ol' man type:

- No video games when I was a teenager.
- No cam models when I was in my 20s-30s.

 

[zippypinhead]

Two good things about being a grumpy ol' man type:

- No video games when I was a teenager.
- No cam models when I was in my 20s-30s.

I'd hope that by the time one reaches his 30s, he's been kicked in the balls by life enough to calm down on this sort of thing.

Now that I'm in my mid-30s, though, I do find the inexplicable urge to buy a flashy car becoming ever stronger.

 

[KylieJacobs]

Just wanted to add that after visiting a camgirl's room for only a week, it's probably unnecessary to even send her a message saying that you won't be back. If it had been 6 months or more, a very short message might be nice so she doesn't worry that something bad happened to you.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Anyone has similar stories or advice? I know the obvious: just never come back. But it's so hard.

Worth pondering at length...

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 41#p594641

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Hmm this feels fishy

Are you the guy who started this thread https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 15&t=20322 but just back with a new name?

Nope. It ain't the same guy.

 

[otham]

Just wanted to add that after visiting a camgirl's room for only a week, it's probably unnecessary to even send her a message saying that you won't be back. If it had been 6 months or more, a very short message might be nice so she doesn't worry that something bad happened to you.

Yeah you are probably right. I did "know" her for months, we went to private once before but we hadn't talked since. It's just after our hours long talk last week I just felt something, which is stupid. It's just the girl sees dozens of guys daily and I see 1 girl in weeks (to put it into perspective, not literally).

But after a good night sleep since I posted this it's definitely better.

Hmm this feels fishy

Are you the guy who started this thread https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewt ... 15&t=20322 but just back with a new name?

Nope. It ain't the same guy.

Indeed, we are not the same person. But very interesting thread though. I found a couple others via Google, but not that one.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Indeed, we are not the same person. But very interesting thread though. I found a couple others via Google, but not that one.

Had my head upside down for a good two weeks or so. I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't help it. Hopefully you didn't get quite as carried away. :lol:

But if nothing else good came of it, the post by I_Am_Iris was pure gold. Ought to be a sticky. In love with cam girl? Read this...

And if these people start clamoring for a troll, don't fight it; just give them what the f*ck they want and be done with it. :-D

 

[Ambers Troll]

wow! this forum is being hard on you.... it really does happen, you are not so messed up as you think.

Otham keep in mind you made all the choices, this model is your fantasy, sometimes members get it right and often to their own detriment. It becomes so much worse when the model actually likes you a little (not saying this is the case, but most people come to like those who like them in return, it is normal), we can spend years feeling like you do right now.

At 1.5 years you are in quite a vulnerable place in terms of camming, the exploration part is over, you tend to choose a favourite. I wont tell you to stop, it is pointless, she has you for now, but you may find someone so much better very soon.
I can only recommend you pay attention, give your fantasies to someone worthy of you. Make sure you set your own boundaries too, learn to say no, learn to say yes based on your real thoughts/ feelings.

Additionally keep in mind this is your pleasure/ recreation/ free time but for a model it is only work. Many people love their work and many, if not most, models seem to. Keep in mind the differences between you, the connection when you have one has distinct limits.

It is actually ok to to be passionate about who you like, one of the great things about camming is exactly this, when you do meet available women in RL, you are sure and confident in your choice. Keep exploring, affected is actually healthy even if painful. At 22 I would recommend you work on taking some risks to chase those you like, you can become very focussed on creating a career/ study, what you really need is to learn balance under stress, to actually live while working hard at some goal.

I am sure this model is a sweet woman, for someone taking mostly private chat as income she must be. This type of person is someone you may want to know, so don't deny yourself that. Realistically you can't invest in her fully emotionally, keep resisting this, it is highly unlikely to be repriciprocated or to make you happy.

 

[AmberCutie]

wow! this forum is being hard on you....

I don't think this is the case at all, actually.

 

[otham]

wow! this forum is being hard on you.... it really does happen, you are not so messed up as you think.

Otham keep in mind you made all the choices, this model is your fantasy, sometimes members get it right and often to their own detriment. It becomes so much worse when the model actually likes you a little (not saying this is the case, but most people come to like those who like them in return, it is normal), we can spend years feeling like you do right now.

At 1.5 years you are in quite a vulnerable place in terms of camming, the exploration part is over, you tend to choose a favourite. I wont tell you to stop, it is pointless, she has you for now, but you may find someone so much better very soon.
I can only recommend you pay attention, give your fantasies to someone worthy of you. Make sure you set your own boundaries too, learn to say no, learn to say yes based on your real thoughts/ feelings.

Additionally keep in mind this is your pleasure/ recreation/ free time but for a model it is only work. Many people love their work and many, if not most, models seem to. Keep in mind the differences between you, the connection when you have one has distinct limits.

It is actually ok to to be passionate about who you like, one of the great things about camming is exactly this, when you do meet available women in RL, you are sure and confident in your choice. Keep exploring, affected is actually healthy even if painful. At 22 I would recommend you work on taking some risks to chase those you like, you can become very focussed on creating a career/ study, what you really need is to learn balance under stress, to actually live while working hard at some goal.

I am sure this model is a sweet woman, for someone taking mostly private chat as income she must be. This type of person is someone you may want to know, so don't deny yourself that. Realistically you can't invest in her fully emotionally, keep resisting this, it is highly unlikely to be repriciprocated or to make you happy.

Thanks a lot for your post. I'm actually quite happy with the posts so far, reality is definitely coming back to me.
I haven't visited the cam site and barely thought about her today, so that's a good thing I guess.

When I started having feelings for her I immediately wanted to become a better person, because I want this in real life, not on the internet. I often go for a walk, but for this last week I've been trying to smile at people and say hi instead of looking in the other direction. I'm feeling the need to be way more social if I ever want to meet someone.

I'm actually starting to think this might be a good thing that happened to me, for the first time feeling something for a girl. Ever since I'm trying to be a better person.

 

[KylieJacobs]

When I started having feelings for her I immediately wanted to become a better person, because I want this in real life, not on the internet. I often go for a walk, but for this last week I've been trying to smile at people and say hi instead of looking in the other direction. I'm feeling the need to be way more social if I ever want to meet someone.

This is good to hear! It sounds like you're headed in the right direction.

 

[xerox2222]

I am experiencing and have experienced similar situations. I want to share my experiences. Of the thousands of models that I have met in the past year, I think I have feelings for two and I still do. I have done dozens of privates with both of them. The earlier privates were all sexual but as time progressed, I would be happy to just talking to them one on one. I would get those butterfly feelings whenever I see those two are on. There could be tens of models doing shows at the moments, but I would rather just chat with those two. Lately, I have also lost interest in exploring other models.

One of the two are taking a break from camming at the moment. If she doesn't come back to camming, I cherish the memories that I have had made with her and wish her the best. The other one was very clear that she is doing this solely for business reasons. She has a boyfriend and mentions him on occasion. Therefore, all my fantasies are product of my own mind. Knowing those facts, I can't stop myself coming back to her room and spending hours staring at her. She has become a positive force in my life. I am in much better shape and exercise regularly now. I also have more motivation to make more of myself - I genuinely want to become a better person.

I understand the most likely way this "relationship" will end. I have drunk myself to sleep twice over this. I think I have come to term with this. In the next few months, my goal would be spending only 1 week night per week with this model and keep myself in this positive projectory. :-D

 

[otham]

Weekend update.

So I went out this weekend with a friend of mine, we ended up talking to two other girls for hours. Great time.
I also installed Tinder last week and ended up getting a couple matches, been chatting with one girl, got unmatched by another lol, life goes on.

Change of mindset definitely helps. My first post started so dramatic but my life is already changing by this.

 

[BritneySiren]

Been on the revieving end of this a couole of times and it just makes me a bit uneasy. What i am online is me... but not. Cant really love some I who will always have many parts of them hidden away from you. I also have a difficult time making and keeping friends in real life. Maybe I'm an asshole or the vapidness of most interactions and ppl bore me to shit. Either way it takes a special kind of weirdo for me to want to be vulnerable to them... online one never gets the full effect... think most might run run the door based on my humor alone lol