Sometimes I Just Don't Get It..........

[RogueWarrior]

Was in a model's room on MFC a couple of nights ago. Fairly popular. North of 7K camscore. A model that I have visited fairly frequently.

There was a room count of around 250 with a fair number of premium members (about what she usually has). She was trying to do a countdown. Silence. And I don't mean just token silence. Nobody was saying anything.

I chatted with her a bit, tipped a little. Except for the occasional bloob saying "you're so hot", "you're so sexy", "show tits", etc. it was as if we were having a private conversation.

I know this was an anomaly. None of her regs were there to carry the convo.

Maybe I'm naive or, as the thread title implies, just don't get it. I know some members just like to hang in the background. Some like to freeload. Some are intimidated by busy chat.

There was nothing to freeload on, as the countdown was obviously not going to be met anytime soon.

The chat was painfully void. Perfect time to chime in without being swallowed up in a wall of chat.

I don't know where I'm going with this, if anywhere. I'm sure models experience this from time to time. It was just the first time I had seen it so blatantly obvious.

 

[LacieLaPlante]

This is my every night haha! Given, my camscore is in the 4k range, but I could talk for ever and never get a response some nights. I've actually taken to leaving the basics open lately until people get a good conversation going.

I have even found that ignoring chat for private messages gets more people talking than me desperately attempting to talk to myself.

 

[pg240]

Even hidden behind an anonymous name and miles and miles of the great blue nowhere, I'd feel uncomfortable if I just sat there lurking and avoiding the conversation while the model is trying to engage the room. It doesn't cost anything to chat a bit. Maybe they're afraid if they join the conversation they'll be "expected" to tip and can remain "hidden" if they don't join the conversation. Yet another in a long line of reasons to admire these ladies for what they have to put up with.

 

[Anonymous]

Maybe they're afraid if they join the conversation they'll be "expected" to tip and can remain "hidden" if they don't join the conversation.

That's what I'm wondering too. It's frustrating to be on cam trying to make conversation with people, and get no response at all. And everything doesn't have to be lame come-on lines either...talk with me about t.v. shows, movies, food, etc. It's supposed to be a chat room...not a silent movie.

 

[LacieLaPlante]

Maybe they're afraid if they join the conversation they'll be "expected" to tip and can remain "hidden" if they don't join the conversation.

That's what I'm wondering too. It's frustrating to be on cam trying to make conversation with people, and get no response at all. And everything doesn't have to be lame come-on lines either...talk with me about t.v. shows, movies, food, etc. It's supposed to be a chat room...not a silent movie.

Those are the things I have to talk about to get new people talking. Tv. Movies. Video games. I think these are "safe-zones" where new people feel comfortable chiming in.

Also, saying "I'm not expecting you to tip me, just would like you guys to join in on conversation" also helps this situation, because it must be true. Some people don't like talking when they don't want to tip/have tokens to tip.

 

[Sevrin]

Cam sites attract a lot of introverts, who are seeking female attention we don't get IRL. That should explain a lot of that silent bit. And just like a chatty room will often bring people out of their shell, a quiet room can discourage them from speaking up.

Personally, if I don't have tokens to tip, I'll go in as a guest. Hardly any models let them speak, even with no one else in the room, let alone expect them to.

 

[Anonymous]

Also, saying "I'm not expecting you to tip me, just would like you guys to join in on conversation" also helps this situation, because it must be true.

Many times I've reminded my room that they're welcome to stay and chat whether they can tip or not. The problem with this, though (and I think LadyLuna mentioned this recently too), is that some of the knuckleheads of MFC hear us say this and they think "Oh, cool...I don't have to tip this girl. She'll be satisfied just with conversation." I've actually seen a member tell another member (new to my room) that I'm cool because "Fox doesn't care if you tip her or not...just as long as you're chatting."

 

[Sky_Smith]

i dont get it either and ive been doin it for 3 years.
one day its the most fun, busy chat ever.
the next day you might be in a better mood, have more planned and look better. and NO ONE even speaks! let alone tips.
i feel reeeeeeellllllyyyy awkward and when that one or two people try to talk i am REALLY aware that no one else is talking and so are they and its just pity chat! if no one else joins in it fizzles again and is even more awkward.
no solution.
no point to my post either.
just same as OP really!!!

 

[Gen]

It is super frustrating. It's so strange when you have a fairly full room and yet nobody will say anything!

When I perv, sometimes I'm intimidated to talk in really big rooms (everyone seems to have fun already) but also in really slow rooms because I like to room hop a lot, and also I don't always have tokens so I feel bad, even knowing from my own perspective as a model that I prefer people to talk even if they don't stay or can't tip. But it can feel intimidating!

Like Sevrin said, I'm an introvert so even under a random screen name when I know the model would probably appreciate the conversation I sometimes freeze up.

Then again sometimes I try to talk in a quiet room, the girl gives a short one-sentence answer, and then goes back to not chatting and wondering why it's quiet, which is strange. But that's kind of an anomaly.

 

[ComicOzzie]

This happens with me all the time, where I am the only person chatting with the model for what seems to be 10-20 minutes. Sometimes I think I should stop chatting and give someone else a chance to talk, but when I do, the silence is deafening. :?

 

[ThunderWeasel]

Been there, done that, have enough T-shirts to get to L.A. and back. I'm a reg in a model's room who frequently has trouble with what we've taken to calling "Chat Zombies." I have NO idea what is going on in their heads. All just sitting there and staring.

 

[pg240]

Been there, done that, have enough T-shirts to get to L.A. and back. I'm a reg in a model's room who frequently has trouble with what we've taken to calling "Chat Zombies." I have NO idea what is going on in their heads. All just sitting there and staring.

Guess they're just thinking with the heads on their penises and forgetting that it's an actual person with feelings on the screen. MFC's business model lets guys lurk and jerk, so they do.

 

[MemberEd]

Starting a conversation with a cam model you're unfamiliar with is different than starting one with a real life person. Once you get past the "Hi, how are you?" part there is a gap in the normal flow of that conversation. Its like steps missing on a staircase. You can't ask "whats your name?", "Where are you from?", "where did you go to school?", "what do you do for a living?" and so forth. I think some members don't know how to navigate those missing steps. I will ask about something I saw on her profile or something I see in her room but I think it is helpful if a model has a topic of conversation in her room. :twocents-02cents:

 

[ThunderWeasel]

Starting a conversation with a cam model you're unfamiliar with is different than starting one with a real life person. Once you get past the "Hi, how are you?" part there is a gap in the normal flow of that conversation. Its like steps missing on a staircase. You can't ask "whats your name?", "Where are you from?", "where did you go to school?", "what do you do for a living?" and so forth. I think some members don't know how to navigate those missing steps. I will ask about something I saw on her profile or something I see in her room but I think it is helpful if a model has a topic of conversation in her room. :twocents-02cents:

A good way to get around that is to talk about stuff that anyone could have done anywhere. "Did you see this movie?" "What do you think of this TV show?"

Books, music.. there's a lot of stuff that can be talked about that's not location or person-specific to such a degree that you'd be going into territory that would start touching on security issues for the model.

 

[BarbieLuv]

Been there, done that, have enough T-shirts to get to L.A. and back. I'm a reg in a model's room who frequently has trouble with what we've taken to calling "Chat Zombies." I have NO idea what is going on in their heads. All just sitting there and staring.

Yep. It's quite awkward to have 60+ people in your room staring at your boobs while NOBODY TALKS. I can handle not being tipped a lot if the convo is good, and a lively, talkative room also encourages people to tip because they're having a good time.

But if no-one is talking, the room is dead, and I'm sitting there awkwardly trying to get people to talk... I know it kills my happy mood/ladyboner/energy level, and then the room gets even more dead. It's a vicious cycle. When sitting there in the middle of a bunch of silent lurkers, it really makes me feel uncomfortable and (even worse) unattractive/uninteresting. Chat zombies can be a definite kick to one's self-esteem. Trolls are easy to kill (for me at least) and even kind of funny sometimes; chat zombies can lead to logging off in tears on a bad night.

It's free to say 'hi'. No tokens are required to ask a lady how she's doing, or inquire as to the music playing in the background. Hell, ask about what the show is going to be like, or try a funny pick-up line to make her laugh. Just don't sit there and silently lurk, it's really mean to the model you're watching. If you think she's worth watching in the first place, she's also worthy of you taking two seconds to say hello. :twocents-02cents:

 

[RogueWarrior]

Starting a conversation with a cam model you're unfamiliar with is different than starting one with a real life person. Once you get past the "Hi, how are you?" part there is a gap in the normal flow of that conversation. Its like steps missing on a staircase. You can't ask "whats your name?", "Where are you from?", "where did you go to school?", "what do you do for a living?" and so forth. I think some members don't know how to navigate those missing steps. I will ask about something I saw on her profile or something I see in her room but I think it is helpful if a model has a topic of conversation in her room. :twocents-02cents:

That's quite good. Something I never really thought about, but very real. Especially if the room is silent and you have nothing else for context other than what the model says. It's often much easier to join in a conversation than to make conversation.

I try to read profiles and use the info there. It helps me if there is some music playing. I can comment on that, goes into the general conversation that ThunderWeasel mentioned.

Sometimes I'll just throw something out there and see what happens, such as "We should all just get hammered drunk and set some shit on fire." Just random bullshit. (I've used that one before and has led to discussions of pyromania, lawlessness, binge drinking, etc.)

I don't think there are missing steps, I just think the steps are different and outside of some comfort zones. I can see where "Hi, how are you?" would lead to "You're hot" to "Show tits". Hell, I was there to a certain degree when I first started visiting camsites. Didn't know what to say. The equivalent of stammering and blurting out something inappropriate IRL.

In my experience, unless you say something blatantly offensive, trollish or douchey, you're pretty much gonna be OK with the model. But maybe that's just me.........

 

[ThunderWeasel]

Yep. It's quite awkward to have 60+ people in your room staring at your boobs while NOBODY TALKS. I can handle not being tipped a lot if the convo is good, and a lively, talkative room also encourages people to tip because they're having a good time.

But if no-one is talking, the room is dead, and I'm sitting there awkwardly trying to get people to talk... I know it kills my happy mood/ladyboner/energy level, and then the room gets even more dead. It's a vicious cycle. When sitting there in the middle of a bunch of silent lurkers, it really makes me feel uncomfortable and (even worse) unattractive/uninteresting. Chat zombies can be a definite kick to one's self-esteem. Trolls are easy to kill (for me at least) and even kind of funny sometimes; chat zombies can lead to logging off in tears on a bad night.

It's free to say 'hi'. No tokens are required to ask a lady how she's doing, or inquire as to the music playing in the background. Hell, ask about what the show is going to be like, or try a funny pick-up line to make her laugh. Just don't sit there and silently lurk, it's really mean to the model you're watching. If you think she's worth watching in the first place, she's also worthy of you taking two seconds to say hello. :twocents-02cents:

I think among the zombies, you have 3 types of people: The ones who are too intimidated to say anything, the ones who don't CARE to say anything & just want a free show, and the ones who can TELL it bothers the model & get off on that. Honestly, were I in the model's place, I'd start making notes. If I saw a user constantly sitting in my room, never talking, never tipping... banhammer time. Guests and basics are one thing, but if someone's gone so far as to become a premium and STILL sits in a model's room for hours on end, neither speaking nor tipping, they need to be gone, IMO. Not necessarily during the first show or 2, as some guys take time to build up their comfort level, but someone who's there for days at a time and STILL acts like a zombie? No. Just no. (I understand that keeping track of zombie names is likely more work than a model has time for. I'm just tossing the concept out there for what it's worth.)

 

[VeronicaChaos]

Yep. It's quite awkward to have 60+ people in your room staring at your boobs while NOBODY TALKS. I can handle not being tipped a lot if the convo is good, and a lively, talkative room also encourages people to tip because they're having a good time.

But if no-one is talking, the room is dead, and I'm sitting there awkwardly trying to get people to talk... I know it kills my happy mood/ladyboner/energy level, and then the room gets even more dead. It's a vicious cycle. When sitting there in the middle of a bunch of silent lurkers, it really makes me feel uncomfortable and (even worse) unattractive/uninteresting. Chat zombies can be a definite kick to one's self-esteem. Trolls are easy to kill (for me at least) and even kind of funny sometimes; chat zombies can lead to logging off in tears on a bad night.

It's free to say 'hi'. No tokens are required to ask a lady how she's doing, or inquire as to the music playing in the background. Hell, ask about what the show is going to be like, or try a funny pick-up line to make her laugh. Just don't sit there and silently lurk, it's really mean to the model you're watching. If you think she's worth watching in the first place, she's also worthy of you taking two seconds to say hello. :twocents-02cents:

I think among the zombies, you have 3 types of people: The ones who are too intimidated to say anything, the ones who don't CARE to say anything & just want a free show, and the ones who can TELL it bothers the model & get off on that. Honestly, were I in the model's place, I'd start making notes. If I saw a user constantly sitting in my room, never talking, never tipping... banhammer time. Guests and basics are one thing, but if someone's gone so far as to become a premium and STILL sits in a model's room for hours on end, neither speaking nor tipping, they need to be gone, IMO. Not necessarily during the first show or 2, as some guys take time to build up their comfort level, but someone who's there for days at a time and STILL acts like a zombie? No. Just no. (I understand that keeping track of zombie names is likely more work than a model has time for. I'm just tossing the concept out there for what it's worth.)

The only problem with this is that room counts matter. They matter because premiums are more likely to stay in a room that has more premiums in it already (hey, this girl is obviously popular!) and they matter because getting on the "Most Popular Rooms" list can be great exposure and bring in more potential tippers.

 

[Zoomer]

Cam sites attract a lot of introverts, who are seeking female attention we don't get IRL.

Could also just be members who open up a dozen windows, only watch the model whilst doing something else (playing a game, watching TV, or chatting to someone they enjoy chatting to?). The reason they don't talk is that only when something happens will their attention be caught and they'll talk - dual or even more monitor set up allows for this quite easily.

Noticed it a lot - some will be silent in a room until some action occurs, then suddenly there is 'movement' and they'll start telling everyone what they're doing while you are "so hot".

 

[mynameisbob84]

Could be any number of reasons, most of which have already been mentioned...

- Members in the room might also be in other rooms or be doing something else at the same time (watching TV, playing computer games, whatever)

- Members might be shy/socially awkward and might not feel comfortable starting a conversation

- Members might not have tokens and therefore might not want to take the model's focus away from the members who do have tokens by talking to her about things that have nothing to do with her countdown or her shows

- The current conversation (if there is one) might be alienating other members (the conversation is about Jack Kerouac, and only the model and the member involved in the conversation know who Jack Kerouac is, for example)

- There's no room topic, the model has nothing on her profile to give members any clue of who she is/what interests her, and she's just sitting there waiting for a conversation to materialise. If the model isn't going to (or can't) start a conversation that members will want to join in on, then there's likely not going to be any conversation of any substance greater than "mmmmmm show tits bb"

 

[pg240]

- The current conversation (if there is one) might be alienating other members (the conversation is about Jack Kerouac, and only the model and the member involved in the conversation know who Jack Kerouac is, for example)

This is quite pertinent, although it most likely doesn't happen often. I've been in rooms during pretty high-level conversations that not many folks could be expected to participate in. Sometimes if they're math/science/computer science they go way over my head. Guess the best bet -- which most of you do -- is keep the conversation to current events, pop culture, sex, etc.

I guess the bottom line for me in this discussion is that most guys don't show up at cam sites to chat. They show up to fap, and that isn't going to change. Engage as many of us as you can and keep on truckin'!

 

[VeronicaChaos]

- The current conversation (if there is one) might be alienating other members (the conversation is about Jack Kerouac, and only the model and the member involved in the conversation know who Jack Kerouac is, for example)

This is quite pertinent, although it most likely doesn't happen often. I've been in rooms during pretty high-level conversations that not many folks could be expected to participate in. Sometimes if they're math/science/computer science they go way over my head. Guess the best bet -- which most of you do -- is keep the conversation to current events, pop culture, sex, etc.

I guess the bottom line for me in this discussion is that most guys don't show up at cam sites to chat. They show up to fap, and that isn't going to change. Engage as many of us as you can and keep on truckin'!

Yes and no...I've been in rooms with a hopping physics discussion and tips rolling in...I talk about theoretical physics, philosophy, psychology etc. quite a bit in my room with plenty of discussion on the matter. I've also been like "yo star trek blah blah blah" with a silent room.

I think the most important thing is to talk about what you are passionate about, because passion is contagious. You really never know who's watching, so to make the call over what subjects are appropriate is difficult.

That said, I've discovered the best way to get a silent room going is to talk about videogames. But it really depends on your audience. Nothing is particularly off-limits, and sometimes nobody will talk no matter what, and sometimes people will chat your ear off over the most out-there subjects. But as long as you're excited about what the conversation is about you're likely to attract others who will be as well.

 

[ComicOzzie]

I wonder what percentage of members actually turn off the room chat when they enter a model's room.

 

[BarbieLuv]

Yep. It's quite awkward to have 60+ people in your room staring at your boobs while NOBODY TALKS. I can handle not being tipped a lot if the convo is good, and a lively, talkative room also encourages people to tip because they're having a good time.

But if no-one is talking, the room is dead, and I'm sitting there awkwardly trying to get people to talk... I know it kills my happy mood/ladyboner/energy level, and then the room gets even more dead. It's a vicious cycle. When sitting there in the middle of a bunch of silent lurkers, it really makes me feel uncomfortable and (even worse) unattractive/uninteresting. Chat zombies can be a definite kick to one's self-esteem. Trolls are easy to kill (for me at least) and even kind of funny sometimes; chat zombies can lead to logging off in tears on a bad night.

It's free to say 'hi'. No tokens are required to ask a lady how she's doing, or inquire as to the music playing in the background. Hell, ask about what the show is going to be like, or try a funny pick-up line to make her laugh. Just don't sit there and silently lurk, it's really mean to the model you're watching. If you think she's worth watching in the first place, she's also worthy of you taking two seconds to say hello. :twocents-02cents:

I think among the zombies, you have 3 types of people: The ones who are too intimidated to say anything, the ones who don't CARE to say anything & just want a free show, and the ones who can TELL it bothers the model & get off on that. Honestly, were I in the model's place, I'd start making notes. If I saw a user constantly sitting in my room, never talking, never tipping... banhammer time. Guests and basics are one thing, but if someone's gone so far as to become a premium and STILL sits in a model's room for hours on end, neither speaking nor tipping, they need to be gone, IMO. Not necessarily during the first show or 2, as some guys take time to build up their comfort level, but someone who's there for days at a time and STILL acts like a zombie? No. Just no. (I understand that keeping track of zombie names is likely more work than a model has time for. I'm just tossing the concept out there for what it's worth.)

One of my regulars lurked silently for months before he ever said a word. He has a severe social phobia and it literally took him that long to get comfortable enough with me to say anything (and even now, he only talks directly to me via PM, rather than in the public chat, as well as only ninja-tipping). So to other members in the chatroom, he may look like a silent, non-tipping lurker.

Banning someone randomly because nobody is talking and you're upset is NEVER the answer. There's no need to ban someone if they're not being actively rude or disrupting the room chat, that's literally banning for no reason, and I personally think it's a very mean thing to do. You never know why they might not be talking, so lumping all zombies together is patently unfair IMHO.

Is sitting in a silent chatroom annoying/upsetting? Yes. Is it an excuse for random banning? Hell no! All of those usernames have a person behind them, who has their own reason for remaining quiet. Maybe someday they'll talk, maybe they won't. But I think they all deserve the benefit of the doubt as long as they're not being disruptive.

 

[ThunderWeasel]

One of my regulars lurked silently for months before he ever said a word. He has a severe social phobia and it literally took him that long to get comfortable enough with me to say anything (and even now, he only talks directly to me via PM, rather than in the public chat, as well as only ninja-tipping). So to other members in the chatroom, he may look like a silent, non-tipping lurker.

Banning someone randomly because nobody is talking and you're upset is NEVER the answer. There's no need to ban someone if they're not being actively rude or disrupting the room chat, that's literally banning for no reason, and I personally think it's a very mean thing to do. You never know why they might not be talking, so lumping all zombies together is patently unfair IMHO.

Is sitting in a silent chatroom annoying/upsetting? Yes. Is it an excuse for random banning? Hell no! All of those usernames have a person behind them, who has their own reason for remaining quiet. Maybe someday they'll talk, maybe they won't. But I think they all deserve the benefit of the doubt as long as they're not being disruptive.

You make a point I hadn't considered. Well, not the first bad idea I've had, I'm sure it won't be the last.